Who made the circumcision decision for your child? - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: who made the circumcision ( or not circumcision) decision for your child?
My partner and I both did 201 100.00%
I did 72 100.00%
My partner did 24 100.00%
Family member(s) helped 4 66.67%
the doctor helped with decision 6 100.00%
Other 13 100.00%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 6. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 05-26-2002, 01:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Old 05-26-2002, 02:11 AM - Thread Starter
 
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sorry, the balnk post was a screw up lol

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Old 05-26-2002, 09:18 AM
 
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My husband and I both made the decision not to circumcise our older son Sam. We were living in the States at the time and I remember us having discussions about it. My husband had a concern about DS looking "different" from him, but then we talked about it being such an uneccesary procedure. Our doctor told us that the insurance would not pay for it and that she did not like to do them, but it would be her who would have done it. I remember us having to sign a paper in the hospital before he was born saying what we wanted to do. We decided not to.

Our younger son was born in Norway and it just isn't done at all there except for religious reasons.
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Old 05-26-2002, 11:05 AM
 
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Neither of us made a decision, just like we didn't decide to keep our girls intact. It's something I always knew I wouldn't do. I do remember one conversation about it, but I don't remember how it started. My husband wanted it done so the child would look like him : and I said no way, and that was that. No decision to make because it was never an option for me in the first place.
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Old 05-26-2002, 12:04 PM
 
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I knew I wouldn't have it done to my son. I told dh, he said "okay." (Which really was the only response I would have accepted! )

Single Mom to 3 (12, 17 & 21)  luxlove.gif and dog2.gif.

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Old 05-26-2002, 12:50 PM
 
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I voted "other" because the one who will make the decision is the owner of the penis and nobody else.

Jolene
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Old 05-26-2002, 01:07 PM
 
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I was the first to say no, even though DH is not circumcised : and originally he wanted it done. I never had any intention of allowing it to happen, but didn't argue the point...instead I pointed DH to literature and let it go for awhile. I brought it up again as I got closer to the due date, and at that point he'd come to the same conclusion as me.
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Old 05-26-2002, 04:51 PM
 
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When I was pregnant, my doula/lmp gave me alot of info. on circumsion. After reading it and deciding for myself not to circ. if we had a boy, I had to talk w/my dh about it. Believe this or not, he didn't even know he was circd'!!!!!!! Anyways, after reading the info. he too agreed w/me not to circ. We have a beautiful, intact little 5 yo boy!

Warmly~

Lisa

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Old 05-26-2002, 09:52 PM
 
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Our Bradley instructor lent us a video. That was all we needed, and our son is intact!

- Dawn, mom to beautiful, intact Jonathon
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Old 05-27-2002, 12:54 AM
 
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I'm one of the "other" votes because there was no decision that was made. I will confess that I was the person who put my foot down and said "this is not an option" but voting "me" would have meant that "I" was the one who made a decision... and I didn't make a decision- I never considered the alternative.

Why is it that MY answer is never an option on a poll? Yesterday I saw a breastfeeding poll on americanbaby.com... there were about seven reasons listed for

"Why did you stop nursing"

Not a single reason listed was, "we were both ready to allow our nursing relationship evolve into something else." or even anything even remotly related to child led weaning- the reasons were like:
it hurt
I didn't make enough milk
I had to go back to work
It was time for other food


etc etc... all really bad seeds to be planting into a woman's mind to be sure that her fear of failure grows into an insurmountable mountain.


Aaargh. Sorry for the OT vent.
love Sarah
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Old 05-27-2002, 12:31 PM
 
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With my first ds it was my husband who made the decision and I will regret allowing him to do that to my sone for the rest of my life. With DD (before we knew she was a she) and this PG DH and I (a new husband) decided taht we would not circumcise under any circumstance.
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Old 05-29-2002, 08:49 PM
 
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Actually it was not something that I thought about until I was close to the end of my pregnancy. My dh is circumcised, figured we'd probably go that route, but hadn't discussed it yet. Then my brother and sil mentioned something about it (they had a boy 5 months earlier) and I started to do some research on the internet. From that, I formed strong opinions on not circumcising, talked to dh about what I had learned, and he agreed, though his opinions were not as strong as mine. So we kind of both made the decision. I'm so glad that someone opened my eyes to the truth before I made a mistake. Now I'm passing on the favour to pregnant women everywhere. My sister is pregnant, her dh is circ'd and is hard headed so I'm passing on as much information as possible. The funny thing is, when I first asked her if she would circ (before she was even pregnancy), her immediate response was "No way!!!" Then I asked if her dh was circ'd. She said "No" in a rather matter of fact way. Then she asked her dh and he is (she has only been with dh, how she's supposed to know what any other penis looks like...). So he's using the typical ignorant arguments. Hopefully I can enlighten them before December (due date).
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Old 05-30-2002, 12:46 PM
 
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Both DH and I made the decision. Luckily, it was an easy one, we're not circumcising this baby. We both regret having had DS #1 circumcised, and didn't want to make that mistake with this son, especially after doing all the research about circumcising.
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Old 05-30-2002, 08:49 PM
 
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T Carmen, I love LOVE the Dr. Suess quote! Where did it come from?

Analisa, Mama to Meg 12/12/01, Patrick 12/24/03, Catherine 12/24/03, Ben 2/26/06
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Old 05-30-2002, 08:53 PM
 
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I voted "other" because it was a total non-issue -- it never came up. And because we had a homebirth, and didn't see a pediatrician until a couple weeks after the birth (midwife did the first exams), there was no one else to bring it up for us.

It wasn't until well after the birth that I started to become informed about circumcision -- and I was VERY grateful that we hadn't done something dumb before we really knew anything about it.
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Old 06-02-2002, 08:22 PM
 
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We had been discussing it mostly leaning towards no, and then at our last day of childbirth class, the teacher showed pictures, and that decided it.
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Old 07-07-2002, 02:58 AM
 
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I put "other" because our decision was made by our son's birthparents and the country where he was born -- since they do not do circ there at all (THANK GOD!!) DH and I had already decided we would not circ. and were so thankful to discover that the good people of Haiti like to keep their boys nicely in tact. And -- nw -- when MIL makes a comment about it, we can jsut say, "Oh well... WE didn't make the decision." One less arguement to have (You should have heard the one about cloth diapering.)

Peace,
Paula
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Old 07-09-2002, 01:29 PM
 
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My partner and I made the decision together, and it was a very easy one to make. He's not circumsiced, and I couldn't imagine letting someone do such a thing to my little baby, so we quickly and effortlessly agreed-absolutely no circumcision for our boy!
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Old 07-22-2002, 02:39 AM
 
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It was discussed before we even got engaged! I wouldn't have stayed with him if he was adamantly pro circ. However, being Irish, dh is intact, and is as adamantly anti circ as I am. Then it became a moot point because we had girls!

We have two foster sons, one intact, one circed, and there is no comparison as to which looks better!
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Old 07-22-2002, 02:52 AM
 
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me and my two boys like to call it "intact". uncirc sounds like we are without when we are definatly with. when you have something of value, dont you usually keep it wrapped?
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Old 07-25-2002, 05:10 AM
 
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That's hard to answer because I knew from when I was about 10 and learned what circ. was that I wouldn't do it. DH didn't even know what it was which could have been a recipe for disaster (he's VERY opinionated!) except that he was born in Korea and they don't do it. So he was intact and very apalled that people actually do something like that. I think he would have personally beheaded anyone who tried to do that to his son's penis. *sigh* I knew there was a reason I married him LOL

Katie
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Old 07-25-2002, 11:33 AM
 
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familyman, I'm with you...I prefer intact, whole, or natural to uncirc'ed. IMO, using the term "uncirc'ed" is like saying somebody is "unsick" when they're healthy. KWIM?

Love, Jolene
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Old 07-30-2002, 06:32 PM
 
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DP is intact and even were he not, it is something that I would never have considered doing. What is there to decide?

<<me and my two boys like to call it "intact". uncirc sounds like we are without when we are definatly with. when you have something of value, dont you usually keep it wrapped?>>

LOL!

I agree completely with you, 'familyman.'
We use 'whole, intact & natural' and I encourage everyone to do so.
I once encountered a woman who took great offense at the word 'intact' arguing that her circumcised son was intact!

Your comment that the word 'uncircumcised' sounds like one is 'without' when they are 'definitely with' is spot on.
Imagine how the unquestioning types would view a baby referred to as "un-whole, not-intact and unnatural" (instead of 'circumcised')?

Maybe a humorous approach could make some inroads, much like "So That's What They're For!" does with breastfeeding.

Can you imagine a public-service campaign with comedians (and comediennes) talking about the benefits of being whole, intact and natural?
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Old 07-30-2002, 11:11 PM
 
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When I was pregnant with my second, I found this really cool magazine called Mothering on the newstand at a Wild Oats. On the cover was a baby boy, a nd the caption was "A Case against Circumcision". That opened my eyes and I shared what I read with my dh. We decided that being intact was the way to go. We both mourned alittle for his loss. And that was the first time I noticed his scar.

I figure if your born with something then it has a purpose
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Old 08-06-2002, 04:21 PM
 
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Our son is intact. My husband is circ'd and wanted our son to be circ'd as well. I tried to discuss it with dh while I was pregnant, but it never turned into much of a discussion. I knew it needed to be resolved, but when the baby was born the doctor asked if he would be circ'd or not and my husband said Yes and I said No. It came up a few times after that, but we never really truly got into the discussion and our son stayed intact. I figure if I wouldn't pierce my baby daughter's ears why in the world would I cut off part of my son's body? That's not my decision to make, besides I firmly believe that evolution is a heck of a lot 'smarter' than any one person. It's made to work that way...don't mess with it. That firm belief got me through natural childbirth. The less you fiddle with things, the better!
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Old 08-13-2002, 08:56 PM
 
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I responded "other" because initially, dh left it up to me, and I was going to do it for the typical reason- dh is circ'd, so he wanted his son to look like him, etc. Well, I didn't actually "decide" until the doctor was actually getting ready to scrub up, and the nurse came in to take him. I looked at my husband, and my parents (my mom or dad didn't want me to circumcise him) Go mom!!! Go Dad!!! And I asked the nurse what happens. When she explained about the procedure, and how they strap him down and he'll cry because of that, i thought...what about the PAIN? And I asked, "is it too late to change my mind?" And she replied, "no honey, it's too late when it's done" So I told her we would not be circumcising. And she wasa ok with that. So the nurse kind of helped me make the final decision.

I am so glad that I did not go through with the circumcision!! After researching circumsion after I had him, I became more aware that I could not think of ANY reason to circumcise. And that baby boys must be born with a foreskin for a reason, as girls are born they way they are for a reason. And here I was with a beautiful baby, perfect in every way, and I could not have someone hurt him like that. And though I wasn't doing the procedure, I couldn't be part of that. I did a bit of research before he was born, but much more after he was born!!!

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Old 08-16-2002, 09:58 PM
 
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We both did!
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Old 08-17-2002, 12:16 AM
 
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I have come so far on this topic! Like breastfeeding, co-sleeping, slinging, gentle discipline, etc., becoming a mommy has opened my eyes!

Growing up in my little naive sheltered world, I never even knew about circ! By the time I first saw a penis (circ'd), I thought that's what they all looked like - naturally. Then I found out about the real thing, and I was not amused. "No way would I let my baby go uncirc'd!". Then in my 30's I dated an uncirc'd guy - I didn't mind, but still thought I'd circ any sons I had.
Fast forward 10 years to being preggo with DS and the lovely world of the internet and all it's info. I researched circ, and how it was unnecessary, and the pain, and the complications, and all the nerve endings being chopped off. "No way would I let anyone circ MY son!" I shudder at the thought!! My partner didn't care, he is circ'd. He asked what to tell DS when he asks about why they are different, and I said we'll just tell him the truth. When I hear women say they circ so their sons look like their dads I want to smack them. What if the dad has blond hair and the son has brown hair? What if the dad is missing an arm? Do they amputate the son's arm? Why does a son's penis have to "look" like his dad's? I just don't get it. But then I don't get it when people name their sons "Junior" either, LOL.
Anyway, I told Daddy-O that no way are we circ'ing, and he said fine, and that was it. And he now proudly tells anyone and everyone that DS is not circ'd and why I wouldn't do it.
Melanie
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Old 08-19-2002, 07:55 PM
 
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good for you, Shanleysmama! You also have a point- if dad was an amputee, would we amputate our sons, too?

We need bumper stickers- proud parents of Uncircumcised sons!!!! :LOL

or, whole, or natural...


Francine
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Old 10-25-2002, 03:44 PM
 
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I shouldn't have clicked on this poll...... I did not want to circ my son. DH did. I showed him literature, links, books, pictures and we fought alot . In our marraige, I usually make the parenting decisions b/c I do the research etc. This issue was so different. In the end, I let him win. I held my baby boy as he was circumcised and I will regret it until my last day. I will not have any more children because I do not want to go through that again. I have seen some of you post that you would leave a husband over this. He is the father of my children and we are a happy family. This is a sadness I will hold forever.
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