First son circumcised, want to keep second son intact. Anyone have experience with this? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 11-05-2013, 01:01 PM - Thread Starter
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Hi everyone,

I really did NOT want to circumcise my son and it pained me greatly doing so. However, my husband felt  very strongly about this and wanted it done. We have compromised on other things such as vaccinations where I have gotten my way.


How do I bring up the topic this time around? Please help!!!


I think it will be fine to have one son circum. and the other not. Will they pay much attention to this?


Anyone else have one son that is and one that isn't? Care to share?



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#2 of 11 Old 11-05-2013, 01:50 PM
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Both of mine are uncircumcised, but i do understand the concern of having them different. I wouldn't say, however, that its a reason to circumcise this time around if you don't want to. if the topic ever comes up between them you could just give a quick anatomy lesson of why they look different. 

i had a friend who had her boys circumcised. her first, it was so that he looked like her husband, but then later, it was so that the brothers would look alike. She told me she always wished she kept the brothers intact even though the older one was not. 

good luck mama!

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#3 of 11 Old 11-05-2013, 03:59 PM
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Good luck, mama! There are lots of threads here with moms who have kids where the first son is circumcised and subsequent children are intact. The inconvenience (if any) of explaining it to your sons is worth it to keep your son whole!

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#4 of 11 Old 11-05-2013, 07:17 PM
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I have a circumcised 4 year old and an in tact 3 year old and they haven't said anything about it yet. And they've definitely seen each other, they take baths together regularly.

I should also note that sometimes things like this just don't matter to kids... My oldest is my step son whom I have raised as my own: he is a fair, blonde hair, blue eyed boy. My biological son takes after my mixed race looks (black&white) he has dark curly hair, brown eyes and dark skin. I thought they would start asking why they look so different by now, but it's not even on their radar! I think differences matter more to adults and maybe our kids only notice when we make a big deal about it.

Love my 3 boys! joy.gif
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#5 of 11 Old 11-06-2013, 01:26 PM
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My oldest is circumcised and my two younger boys are not. They're (almost)7, 5 and 1 - there have been zero comments or questions amongst them.

DH and I - totally winging life with our four children, DS1 (6.5yrs), DS2 (5yrs), DD (3yrs) and DS3 (1)!

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#6 of 11 Old 11-10-2013, 11:43 AM
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I was circumcised, my younger brothers were not. No issues.

I am circumcised, my two sons are not. No issues.

I will point out that I wear glasses, am 6 feet tall, have a beard, not to mention pubic hair. I have trouble seeing how these differences should be used to do something other than explain how to accept diversity.

Further, if I had lost an arm or leg, would I then consider amputating my children's arms or legs to save them from being traumatized by being different? I hope not!

My parent's taught me that two wrongs do not make a right....I think that applies in this situation.

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#7 of 11 Old 12-23-2013, 03:56 PM
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My son is problems at all 

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#8 of 11 Old 01-21-2014, 05:47 PM
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I have two boys who don't "match."  The first I had on my own, in college, and my parents were my support system.  I didn't want to circumcise him, but my mother is an RN and she swore it was so much better, I was being ridiculous, etc., and my dad swore people would make fun of him, so I let it happen.  MAJOR REGRETS!  When they brought him back from the procedure, it was as if I could SMELL the pain coming off him, and his whole body was quivering with agony.  Immediate remorse - I've never gotten over the regret.


Six years later, I had DS2 - his dad is British and uncircumcised and was very opposed to circumcision for his son, so no conflict there.  The boys have asked about it, and I just explain what happened matter-of-factly.  DS1 says he's fine with his, no resentments, etc., and DS2 went through a period of mild sensitivity about its appearance during late elementary school, but he's cool now, too.  In fact, I posted about it on here way back when he was experiencing concerns and someone replied with a list of things a foreskin is good for, and one item on the list was "jewel-smuggling" - I showed it to him and he thought that was great.  I guess that's what 9 year-olds go for.  <@@>  They're 23 and 17 now, respectively, and the only thing I notice is that the uncirc'ed one is messier when peeing - I don't know if it's the foreskin or just a lack of attention to detail.


I'm currently expecting a girl; my lovely husband is circumcised, but before we found out, he was supportive of not circumcising if we had a boy.



So...I'm 43 and pregnant with #3 - how'd that happen?  


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#9 of 11 Old 01-21-2014, 06:19 PM
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Hey, I found a similar version of the list another momma posted so long ago!!  The "Other" section is particularly hysterical.  Anyway, this list (or one very similar) made my DS2, then aged 9, feel great about his foreskin - maybe it will sway your husband, as well.



So...I'm 43 and pregnant with #3 - how'd that happen?  


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#10 of 11 Old 01-31-2014, 09:12 AM
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I fought this battle almost 4 years ago. Our first was circumcised because we honestly didn't know any better and neither one of us really talked about it. We just thought it's something you do when you have a boy. I found mdc when he was a few months old and started learning about it, and decided that any more sons I had would be left alone, but hubby was not down for that at all. He also wasn't ok with a homebirth, but I got my way on that one after discussing risks vs. benefits and how much more relaxing a hb could be compared to a hospital birth. Our ds was born at home 27 months after our first was born, and the midwife mentioned how glad she was that her son was intact. I never brought it up....I just avoided the subject altogether, and showed him tidbits of information every so often. We never had it done to our second, or third. :joy:thumb I just told him it was never going to happen when he was a few months old, and he agreed, and now he is totally anti-circ.

None of the ideas expressed above are actually mine. They are told to me by Luthor and Ferdinand, the five inch tall space aliens who live under my desk. In return for these ideas, I have given them permission to eat any dust bunnies they may find under there.shine.gif

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#11 of 11 Old 01-31-2014, 05:32 PM
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Funny how so many DHs come around like that!  I would love to know what is initially in their head that they are so pro RIC, and then what it is that turns those perceptions around down the road so that they either become ambivalent and accepting, or better still anti-circ.

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