I need advice. She's going to circumcise her 9 month old - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 11-20-2013, 10:23 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I had a feeling my cousin would circ so I showed her links, websites, etc and she never responded.

 

Well, since her son was a preemie she didn't circ but decided that at 3 months old it's time to schedule an appointment. The appointment is scheduled so far out he will be 9 months old. I am so bothered by this I started to cry. I thought maybe she had decided not to. What can I do? I will see her during the holidays and I need any info I can get... 

 

Thank you.


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#2 of 9 Old 11-20-2013, 11:42 AM
 
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You asked, "what can you do?"  The reality may be nothing.  Some people make up their minds & that's it.

 

How close are the two of you?  Can you inquire about how she's doing taking care of this fragile person & how she's helping him to deal w/ the trauma of being a NICU baby?  I'm wondering if you can bring it up to her?

 

My default is to have a penis pack sent from The WHOLE Network.  Don't know that it's done any good, but it's my go-to when I don't feel I can bring the subject up w/ someone, no matter what the reason for that is.

 

Best wishes,

Sus


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#3 of 9 Old 11-20-2013, 12:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We are pretty close. I was thinking more information may sway her the other way... I can totally bring it up to her, I just don't know if she will find me a credible source. She is what some would call a "know-it-all" and she stonewalls when you tell her anything she doesn't want to hear. I wish she were more open about it. It just really makes me upset and I WISH I had a magic solution that would get through to her


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#4 of 9 Old 11-23-2013, 09:00 PM
 
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Originally Posted by newmama8824 View Post
 

We are pretty close. I was thinking more information may sway her the other way... I can totally bring it up to her, I just don't know if she will find me a credible source. She is what some would call a "know-it-all" and she stonewalls when you tell her anything she doesn't want to hear. I wish she were more open about it. It just really makes me upset and I WISH I had a magic solution that would get through to her

 

Doesn't it always seem like the stone wall people are also always the ones who are resistant to anything new or different?  I read an article supporting this somewhere.  The sort of two kinds of people thing.  One kind is open, the other continually resists.  

 

Perhaps there is some sort of greater reason for this, but I can't imagine what!   


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#5 of 9 Old 11-24-2013, 02:42 PM
 
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Here are some great resources that you can show her:

 

http://blog.practicalethics.ox.ac.uk/2012/08/the-aap-report-on-circumcision-bad-science-bad-ethics-bad-medicine/

 

http://circumcisiondecisionmaker.com/

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ceht-3xu84I

 

You might also remind her it should not be her, or her husband's decision.  It should be their son's decision what to do with his body, unless there is a pressing medical need to circumcise right now.

 

In fact, waiting will give a better outcome, since his penis is not yet developed, so the doctor cannot predict what the outcome will be.

 

Best

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#6 of 9 Old 12-10-2013, 09:20 AM - Thread Starter
 
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She isn't going to do it! I just talked to her and she said "your LO isn't?" and I explained that he isn't and why I didn't believe in it. She said she trusts my opinion and she thought she had to have it done. She was sooo relieved!!! 


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#7 of 9 Old 12-10-2013, 10:23 AM
 
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She isn't going to do it! I just talked to her and she said "your LO isn't?" and I explained that he isn't and why I didn't believe in it. She said she trusts my opinion and she thought she had to have it done. She was sooo relieved!!! 

:joy:bgbounce:loveAwesome news!  I also feel like this is the reason one should not assume that a person's mind has been made up & "mind their own business." Sounds like she would have gone through w/ it had you not brought it up.  One baby saved! Woohoo!!!

 

All the best,

Sus


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#8 of 9 Old 12-13-2013, 05:21 PM
 
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That is awesome!  good for you for bringing the topic up.  It rather sounds like she did not pay much attention to the links and websites that you provided for her the first time around.

 

I am always amazed when someone says that they thought you HAD to circumcise, and I am very curious as to where that concept comes from.

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#9 of 9 Old 12-13-2013, 06:04 PM
 
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Originally Posted by newmama8824 View Post
 

She isn't going to do it! I just talked to her and she said "your LO isn't?" and I explained that he isn't and why I didn't believe in it. She said she trusts my opinion and she thought she had to have it done. She was sooo relieved!!! 

:joy That's great! 

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