Regret Mom turned Intactivist.. Came back to say Hi and Thank You! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 11-05-2014, 05:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Cool Regret Mom turned Intactivist.. Came back to say Hi and Thank You!

Hello everyone! I joined this forums back in 2008. I became fairly active and at some point someone had mentioned some alarming (to me!) information about circumcision. I immediately thought there was no way that what they had said could be true.

I decided immediately that I needed to go research it for myself. Well, what I found was heart-breaking. I cried, puked, and was extremely upset over what I read and saw, for I had put my second son through this on the second day of his life, a year+ prior to finding out the truth. I was nearly hysterical and couldn't sleep for weeks. I knew I would never circumcise another child of mine. I left it at that. I tried to forget about it, and gently inform people if the topic came up, but I really didn't want to think about it, I felt so guilty.

You see, I live in MI where the RIC rate is very high. Every male I knew and had ever seen had been circumcised. I hadn't known much at all about the procedure or functions of the foreskin. I bought into allll the myths I heard my whole life. Cleaner, less infections for him and his future wife, it's just a snip, many babies sleep through it, they won't remember the pain, must not be bad if God wanted the Jews to do it, boys should match dad, he'll be teased in the locker room, less risk for stds, etc. :'( The only reason my oldest son wasn't circumcised was because he was born with hypospadias and aposthia. He already looked like he was circ'd when he was born. He has had many surgeries over the years to fix the hypospadias... another subject of regret, I wish we'd left him alone.

Anyway... fast forward a few years to 2011.. we decided we'd try for a third baby. It took two years to become pregnant, but during that time I went on a research/info/learning spree. I didn't want to be duped again about ANYTHING. I already knew I wouldn't go the RIC route again, but husband was NOT on board. I knew I needed to know the info necessary to convince him if baby #3 ended up being a boy. The more I learned, the more upset I was again about consenting to it. The more I grew angry at the medical community turning a blind eye to to the hypocri$y of FGM being outlawed but MGM was great and had awe$ome health benefit$. I was becoming an intactivist, but I didn't know it yet.

Fast forward to Spring 2013, we learned we would be having a third boy! I was thrilled and my heart sank at the same time. I knew I had a battle before me, dealing with my husband. Well... after a few weeks of more research, sleepless nights, trying to figure out how to bring this up again with my husband, I finally just broke down, sobbing, and told him we would circ over my dead body. I told him a few of the horrific facts of RIC and he agreed that we would look further into it and research. This was a big victory, that he was willing to listen. Well, within a week or two I had him on board. From there on, I started posting more stuff on facebook, reaching out to pregnant ladies, trying to educate others. Now, I participate in intactivism every single day. I have saved a few babies, lost many, but I keep fighting. Even one person's mind changed can have a snowball effect.

So, I wanted to return and say THANK YOU. No one had ever told me anything bad about circ before I joined mothering.com forums. I don't know if any of the same moms are here reading this, but I wanted to say thanks anyway.
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#2 of 5 Old 11-05-2014, 08:19 PM
 
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Thank you for coming back to tell your story. And that's wonderful that your dh changed his mind. How wonderful for your whole family!

Best wishes,
Sus
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#3 of 5 Old 11-07-2014, 04:04 AM
 
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That was quite a journey to intactivism! You obviously are a very empathetic and caring person, not to mention a logical one. Congratulations, and I'm so glad that you are "one of us".
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#4 of 5 Old 11-19-2014, 11:32 PM
 
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think so,not to mention a logical one. Congratulations, and I'm so glad that you are "one of us".thanks
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#5 of 5 Old Today, 11:07 PM
 
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Congratulations on your new baby!

Mom &  RN   intactivist.gif
Pardon the typos - CWOK (cat walking on keyboard)   signcirc1.gif

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