who or what influenced you to give your son the responsibiltiy of his intact genitals - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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Old 06-05-2004, 11:03 PM
 
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Originally Posted by utahandy
I babysat for an intact boy when I was about 14. Everything looked so normal and health just like skin. Diaper changes were so easy. Than my sister had a boy and circed him. I remember the first time I changed his diaper after his circ. It was horrible and bloody,not cleaner and healthier. I was afraid to wipe him.
I didn't really do much research till after my son was born and family who noticed he wasn't circed started giving us grief. When he was about 5 he asked why his penis was on the" inside" and others were on the "outside". I wish I had a camra to take a picture of to look of horrer on his face when I told him some that parents had there babies skin cut off. .

I am in the same boat! My son was horrified at what happen to his dad. He noticed and asked. My cousin was horrified to learn at 18 what had been done to him. He asked why my son's penis looked different. I had to explained to him what circumission was. I did explain that many people think/thought it was necessary when he was born, we know better now.
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Old 06-06-2004, 01:57 AM
 
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My brother was born when I was 9 and I remember that he had been circ'd. I don't remember exactly why it bothered me but I do remember asking my mom why he had to have that done, I couldn't understand why he needed a part of his penis cut off. She just said because that's what you do. I don't think she wanted to have it done. I do remember my brother's penis being very sore and feeling badly for him. When I was pregnant I read a lot of Compleat Mother's and that really opened up a lot of info about circ and why not to, for me. I would read all the articles to ds's dad but he was never convinced and didn't want to be. One day when I came home from work he said, "we will not circ if we have a boy!". He had been watching Oprah and it was an episode where twin boys got circ'd but one was botched and too much penis was cut off. The doctors gave that twin a sex change operation and told the parents to raise him as a female. The show happens when the young child is now a teenager and is grappling with this new information. I don't think I need to go into too much detail, I'm sure we can all guess what that child went through. This is what convinced ds's dad. I wouldn't have allowed it anyway. All it takes is a little real information on mutilation and our ignorance vanishes.
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Old 06-06-2004, 09:13 AM
 
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Rachelle:

I believe the subject of that Ophra Show was David Reimer. A sad thing has happened with David and there is a thread about him here:

http://mothering.com/discussions/sho...d.php?t=143752




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Old 06-06-2004, 11:39 PM
 
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After browsing more through the circ discussions, I realized that it must have been an Oprah show about David, since lots of people in that thread mention seeing him on Oprah. I never saw the episode myself.
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Old 06-07-2004, 12:30 AM
 
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Looking at my son's mutilated penis made me realize what I had done...

And I promised never to let it happen to another child of mine.

It hasn't. When I was in the hospital with my 2nd son, I put signs everywhere and when he was taken from the room (tests and such) I followed stating, "He's not to be circumcised." I must have said this a thousand times.

With my 3rd, I had a pediatrician who is very anti-circ, so it wasn't an issue!
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Old 06-07-2004, 01:27 PM
 
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Well, my adult DD's father is intact. We were in our Sr. yr of High School when we met. No one on his Father's side had been circ'd. They were all very open & honest about being intact.
They gave the "cutting off eyelid/fingernail" speech.
I was 18 & that made a big impact on me.
When I got pg w/ DD 23 yrs ago & refused to sign the circ paper, I was looked @ like I had 3 heads.
Skip ahead to now. When I got PG with DS, I told DH (circ'd) that DS was not going to be cut. DH had a prev son that was circ'd b/c he was told that's just what you do & his ex was adamant about circ'ing (she a fruitloop that LOVES every new vax that comes around, NO b/f, etc)
When I had DH read & view photos of a baby being circ'd he said NO WAY also.
He was NOT pushing to get it done anyway. We also toy with the idea of moving to Europe
So our son has the gift of being intact because that's the only way he should be.
as a note, DH never misses a chance to declare that his DS is whole & it's an unnecessary surgery !!

Me & DH hug2.gif , adult DD lips.gif & 7 yo DS guitar.gif . 2 GSDs, 6 rescue kitties, 4 birds & a gerbil.
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Old 06-07-2004, 07:02 PM
 
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I wish I would have found all of you mamas before ds was born. No one, not ONE person...my ob's (6 of them, group practice), the ped's ds saw in the hospital told me it was unecessary. I always thought it was just "what you did". None of the books I read while pg said anything about circ. If one person would have said the tiniest thing about it not being necessary, I would have done my own research and ds would be as he was when he was born. I feel incredible guilt, for not knowing. Thank to all of you who are out there trying to inform others. I admire your dedication and only wish I had found this board years ago
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Old 06-07-2004, 09:06 PM
 
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Well it is all because of my wonderful dh . He left the research up to me and honestly I wanted to have it done :. I found there were no medical benefits but I wanted to do it for social reasons. Then in a newborn care class we took they showed how they did it - they had a slide show. My dh saw that and said no farking way! So I did more research to convince myself that it didn't really need to be done. Along the way I became very anti-circ and can't believe I ever even considered it.
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Old 06-07-2004, 10:25 PM
 
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MDC. Seriously, I had never even thought about sooooo many of our parenting "choices" before I found MDC. I think that is really, really sad, and hope that DS can grow up in a society where he is encouraged to think and make decisions on his own.
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Old 06-10-2004, 10:22 AM
 
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Mothering Magazine influenced me. If my first child had been a boy, he probably would have been circumcised. We're Jewish, and I had never really thought of questioning the fact of an 8th day circumcision. We had a daughter, and fed up with all the crap magazines out there for parents, I finally found Mothering. I never paid much attention to the circumcision articles, until I found out my second pregnancy was a boy. Then I decided religion or not, I had better do some research.

So, it was totally Peggy O'Mara and Paul Fleiss and this great magazine that kept my beautiful little boy intact.

Take care,

"Home is where the heart is, no matter how the heart lives." - PP&M
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Old 06-10-2004, 02:33 PM
 
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Quote:
who or what influenced you to give your son the responsibiltiy of his intact genitals
Nothing did. To me, it's like asking "Who or what influenced you to give your son the responsibilty of having 10 fingers?"

I'd never cut off a part of my son's body.
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Old 06-10-2004, 08:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by thyme
Nothing did. To me, it's like asking "Who or what influenced you to give your son the responsibilty of having 10 fingers?"

I'd never cut off a part of my son's body.

How about "respect for the natural physique he was born with"?
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Old 06-10-2004, 08:04 PM
 
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This was before Mothering and I did not know any better. I figured this was the thing to do (like vaxs), and never gave it a thought. It was not until the day of his circ that I asked the nurse about the anesthesia and she said he would not get any!! He would get a pacifer with sugar. I was shocked, but it had not registered and told my dh to go with him. The nurse suggested that would not be a good idea!

THANK GOD my baby came back intact!! The doctor felt uncomfortable because there was not enought space and could not get a feel for pulling the skin (???-something like that), and I should go to a specialist.

Even after this, I called to make an appt with another doctor and arrived for the consult ,but they had overbooked and I left.

Yet again I made another appt with another doctor for the cir (weeks had gone by), but by then I had done some research and decided NO WAY. So I canceled his appt.

I thank God for his divine intervention, because I don't think I would have gotten over the guilt.
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Old 06-13-2004, 06:46 PM
 
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A healthy love for debate brought me to the "Great Debates" section of the Babycenter message boards early on in my pregnancy with my son. I had no idea that parenting could be so controversial.

From there, I think it may have been Frank that sent me on the quest for more info. I can't recall clearly, but I do remember thinking that if someone was so vehemently opposed to circumcision, then it was obviously something I should look into.

So, whoever that was - I thank you. My baby boy would thank you if he had the awareness, I'm sure. And Frank, even if it wasn't you, I thank you anyway for sharing the information you do with blatant honesty and perseverance.

My son is the first in his family (as far as I know) to have not been circumcised since my grandfather came from Europe. I'd like to think that he's the turning of the tide.
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Old 06-14-2004, 01:02 AM
 
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You're very welcome! Thank you for the feed back. It's what keeps me going.




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