Thammy24, I think you are right not to dwell on the sexual side of the argument with someone who is cut from birth. Let sleeping dogs lie on that one.
But for this forum the sexual point must not be belittled - and common sense should prevail over 'told you so' studies and reports. Please hear it from a man who is unexpectedly going through the change : ignore the dansing around the subject, this is purely a sexual matter - a healthy foreskin is an integral part of a mans sexual apparatus, like teeth are to eating and fingers are for holding. Just as removing a tooth or a finger will change chewing and grip, so taking the foreskin away will have sexual consequences, one way or the other, to varying extents. You dont really need reports to understand that. Some it might suit, others, like me, have a disaster.
For the man in question, that is the core issue that touches the rest of his life - and his own instinct, intelligence, beliefs and personal experience should be his guide.
Talking about that bottom line "sexual consequence" disturbs many people, as it conflicts with cultural, social, medical, and religious presentations and agendas. So the sex discussion is easily belittled, tutted-at, denied or swept under the carpet, and the focus conveniently turned towards more appealing or polite arguments - like childcare. Obviously its important for mothers to care for their baby - but the childs foreskin if healthy is a minor part in the big picture of his future life - who is caring for the future man and his penis ? who is caring for his view on his loss of his body part? its a lifelong consequence, this should be the heart of the debate. Reports and studies dont address that, they distract from it, and usually deliberately so from what I can tell.
Any man with the choice and thinking "shall I or shant I" will focus mainly on the sexual question, believe me. When I was suddenly told that in 1 hours time my foreskin was going to be amputated, I was not saying to myself 'oh good I wont have to wash it anymore' or 'at last, I can walk into the mens showers and not feel ridiculed'. My only thought was 'is it going to work the same?'. In fact I was so worried about the sexual consequences they had to calm me down with valium. Looking back, my instinct was right, but at least I had the choice, I could have walked out.
As the sexual question is the major issue to focus on, the only person to decide what is best for his penis and his sex life is its 'owner'. Not the doctor, not the parent, not the teacher, not the cheerleader, not the politician, not the cleric. Put frankly : what happens to my penis should be my business, not others. All those with different agendas probably fear that, if left to the adult boy to decide, he will take alot more convincing to part with his foreskin. And so it seems all the other distractions - childcare, pain, hygene etc - are used to put the discussion and pressure back onto parents who, softened by concern to conform and to do the perceived right thing, are easier targets.
So I would encourage you to hold your line "it should be his decision to make, not ours". This disturbs many groups, as there is no satisfactory moral reply to it, just distractions. And I believe your maternal instinct is a good one : your son is unlikely to resent you for not cutting at birth and leaving the choice to him, but if you cut him at birth he could question you when he grows up for taking the choice away from him forever.
Then dont be shy in teaching him how to wash.
And if in 18 years from now young North American girls are still giving uncut young guys a hard time, that the crowd ambiance is still 'ewwww gross' just at the thought, then send him over to Europe or wherever, he will have no worries trying it out elsewhere ....
Last edited by JLUK; 07-01-2015 at 02:53 AM.