Planning on circumcising... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 43 Old 08-19-2015, 04:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Question Planning on circumcising...

My significant other and I are expecting our first child, a son (obviously). We were both planning on circumcising him, though I know that many people are against it and that it's not a necessary thing. There are many reasons not to circumcise. However, I don't want him to feel self conscious when he ages.

My brother wasn't circumcised, since my parents are both from Europe, and I guess it's not common practice over there. However, my brother grew up getting made fun of apparently, especially in the locker rooms. So he circumcised later in life and still holds it against our parents today for them not having done that when he was a baby and wouldn't remember or have to deal with the pain and healing process as an adult. Because of his experience, I really feel all the more inclined to circumcise. My S.O. also is circumcised himself, and personally I've always preferred that in men (though I have been with both in the past).

Are we making the wrong decision? Am I really going to regret it? I don't want to do anything that I feel is going to be negative for our child, and this is a really tough call. My significant other and I are both really free-minded hippie-ish thinkers in most any other sense, so this is something that kind of is a bit confusing for us. He thinks that it's weird to not have a circumcised penis, regardless of it it has purpose or not. I just am unsure here.

EDIT: This title should not be changed to "NOT planning on circumcising..." See here: Planning on circumcising...

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#2 of 43 Old 08-19-2015, 05:11 PM
 
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Considering you know from your brother that it's painful, why would you subject a tiny infant to so much pain?
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#3 of 43 Old 08-19-2015, 05:14 PM
 
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OK the thing is in your brothers generation not many where left intact. Anywhere from 80-90% depending on where you lived. Now the rates of circ are well below 50% in most areas so your ds if circed could be the odd man out.

Have you read the Regrets thread? If you havnt you need to read through there and see the hundreds of mothers who deeply regret circing their child for many reasons and for the one you are using.

What it comes down to is if you teach your child about his body and why he is the way he is ie that you felt it was his choice to have a cosmetic surgery not yours and that it was dangerous to do it and unnecessary.

You do know there is a risk of death with it right? around a 100 boys die every year after having it done while no one has died from having a foreskin.

I really hope you read that thread and reconsider putting your son through that kind of pain for no other reason that what others may think of him. Think of it this way also if your brother had a harmless birthmark on his arm at birth would you risk death or disfigurement because some ignorant person "might" come along and make fun of it?

I have taught my ds that having a foreskin makes him normal and those that are circed had a very painful unneeded surgery after birth to remove the skin and that everyone is different and that is OK. Your ds may very well come to be upset by what you had done to him like many other men out there.

You and your SO also need to sit down and watch the circ video if that dosnt change your mind I dont know what will. As parents you need to know exactly what you will be putting your ds through.

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#4 of 43 Old 08-19-2015, 07:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you very much for the responses. I appreciate all the information and feedback. I still am in the indecisive phase right now and am taking further steps to educate myself (hence the reason why I posted here).

I just got done watching the circumcision video on YouTube, and holy *bleep* that is disturbing. The way the baby cries throughout the procedure too only added to how awful it was to try and watch. I feel sick to my stomach now and really feel as if I could go get sick. :/ This really has given me something to think about.

I'm going to be doing a lot more reading now.

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#5 of 43 Old 08-19-2015, 07:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I was texting my brother asking him his opinion on the matter, and he said that "it's gross" that a lot of males on the west coast (where my S.O. and I are moving to) don't have it done. (My brother lives in Illinois, where I am originally from.) He said, "I had it done when I was 16, and it's much cleaner and easier to deal with. Trust me, I know both sides." I said that I read that the foreskin apparently has nerve endings in it and that if it's removed sex isn't as enjoyable. He said, "It's just as good. I read that foreskin hurts during sex because of all the friction. It also smells in there and is just plain gross. No one would want it if he knows both sides. Trust me."

I'm so conflicted.

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#6 of 43 Old 08-20-2015, 04:24 AM
 
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How is having an open wound in a dirty diaper until it heals cleaner? Cleaning is simple from birth until natural retraction the foreskin is stuck to the glans so you wash it like a finger from base to tip never pulling it back because it can do damage.

After retraction takes place the owner of the penis retracts, rinses with clean water and replace. Hygiene is taught to both boys and girls as they age. So being cleaner is a myth.

As for sex the foreskin does have nerve endings and it does increase pleasure. They proved that in a study. Sometimes it is true the first few times a man has sex or masturbates it can get a bit sore. But the same can be said for a woman as well. Yet we dont cut any of our bits off because time takes care of it.

After watching that video can you imagine handing over your defenseless newborn to suffer like that? Something else to keep in mind if you plan to breastfeed having it done can actually ruin that relationship. I know of more than a few woman who had zero issues breastfeeding before it was done then after they where never able to get the baby to latch again due to the pain and trauma the child is under.

I understand your brother had a horrible experience but in all honesty the only one who should get to decide what is done to his body is your ds not you or your SO or your brother.
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#7 of 43 Old 08-20-2015, 08:06 AM
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Buy the book "unspeakable mutilations". Its a heartbreaking compilation of stories from deeply regretful men and the cahos circumcision can cause in a mans life. Just the introduction sums up the real risk to a mans self esteem, love life and seclusion as no one wants to hear. From my experience, its bang on what I am going through, and a huge relief to realise I was not alone. Far from it.

Some cut men are not effected, some men dont realise, some are but cant speak about it due to their surrounds, but a huge number are waking up to why they are suffering, physically and mentally, and to what has been taken from them.

No parent can read this, digest the long term risk, and then take a knife to their kid.

Let alone step back and think about the moral context of irrevocably removing someone elses body part.

Medical blabla, talk about initial pain etc, this is highly questionable and extreemely irrelevant compated to the long term risk. As for locker room jibes, I believe America is waking up there too as the norm is halved.

Read up on foreskin restoration, and its following. Its a pityful state for a man to have been put into. I am just starting. Its a ridiculous last resort. Yet many are turning to it.

I am glad the dad is happily cut. Many others arnt, like me. No uncut man with a healthy foreskin in normal balanced surroundings is unhappy, and he would fight to the end to keep his best friend down there intact.

Playing with nature opens up a great range of consequences, and feelings. Leaving nature alone is the only way to ensure peace of mind, for all. And then the kid can decide for himself later whether nature got it wrong, and live with his decsion.
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#8 of 43 Old 08-20-2015, 08:10 AM
 
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As your brother said, being intact is common where you are going, so a circumcised boy might be the odd one at school.

Also the "cleaner" comment seems to be referring to once he was a teen, correct?

Also you quoted your brother as saying he "read about sex" with a foreskin. So he doesn't seem to have actual knowledge of what it was like with one to compare to without one
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#9 of 43 Old 08-20-2015, 08:17 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by JLUK View Post
Buy the book "unspeakable mutilations". Its a heartbreaking compilation of stories from deeply regretful men and the cahos circumcision can cause in a mans life. Just the introduction sums up the real risk to a mans self esteem and love life. From my experience, its bang on what I am going through, and a huge relief to realise I was not alone.

Some cut men are not effected, some men dont realise, some are but cant speak about it due to their surrounds, but a huge number are waking up to why they are suffering, and to what has been taken from them.

No parent can read this, digest the long term risk, and then take a knife to their kid.

Let alone step back and think about the moral context of irrevocably removing someone elses body part.

Medical blabla, talk about initial pain etc, this is highly questionable and extreemely irrelevant compated to the long term risk. As for locker room jibes, I believe America is waking up there too as the norm is halved.

Read up on foreskin restoration, and its following. Its a pityful state for a man to have been put into.

I am glad the dad is happily cut. Many others arnt, like me. No uncut man with a healthy foreskin in normal balanced surroundings is unhappy, and he would fight to the end to keep his best friend down there intact.

Playing with nature opens up a great range of consequences, and feelings. Leaving nature alone is the only way to ensure peace of mind, for all. And then the kid can decide later whether nature got it wrong.
Thank you so much for that recommendation! I am looking for as much reading material as possible before I commit to either option, and I want to be as informed as possible. I also want to inform my significant other, since he has been pro-circumcision for as long as I've known him. If we both educate ourselves more, I feel we likely both will change our viewpoints.


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As your brother said, being intact is common where you are going, so a circumcised boy might be the odd one at school.

Also the "cleaner" comment seems to be referring to once he was a teen, correct?
Yeah, it's apparently very common in the Midwest area (as shown from this map I found). However, I actually moved away from the Midwest a couple years back and am currently living in New Mexico, but my significant other and I will be moving to California before the end of the year (where circumcision is very uncommon, therefore making me think even harder about this decision).

Yeah, he meant he felt cleaner after he chose to get circumcised when he was 16. I'm not sure if he just never was taught properly how to clean himself as a child (which is sounds like, being that he said his penis actually got stinky before). It wouldn't surprise me if our parents didn't educate him on cleaning, since they don't talk about anything that makes them uncomfortable, which unfortunately has forced us to self educate on a lot of things growing up.

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#10 of 43 Old 08-20-2015, 08:36 AM
 
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I think it's good that you're seeking info from men here. Your brother, while family, may not have enough information to share to help you with this decision.

For me it was simple. It was not my body and my son was in no danger from not having it done. I can tell you that he has no regrets! I think it will be a few more years before he has sex, so I can't speak to that. At his age he is just becoming aware that some boys are different and was horrified to learn that some parents think cutting a baby is alright.
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#11 of 43 Old 08-20-2015, 09:32 AM
 
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If you do not do it your child can make up his own choice to get circumcised when he is grown up but he can never get back a lost body part. Restoration is not going to be the same as the real deal.

I live in a country where more or less everyone is intact and the clean part is completely up to actually cleaning yourself and nothing more. As to foreskin hurting, well never heard any guy here say that, perhaps that could be true if he has an extremely tight foreskin even as an adult at which a minor operation can be done and cream can help too. I did have a boy friend who had tight foreskin but he could retract it he just had to be careful. He retracted it before sex but other than that he didn't seem to have any problems. He had been offered an operation as a teen but turned it down because he didn't have problems with it. Without discussing this too much for his privacy he had different taste in how he wanted to be touched sexually compared to all other men with normal foreskin that I have been in contact with but as I said, he definitely didn't suffer from it.
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#12 of 43 Old 08-20-2015, 09:49 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I think it's good that you're seeking info from men here. Your brother, while family, may not have enough information to share to help you with this decision.

For me it was simple. It was not my body and my son was in no danger from not having it done. I can tell you that he has no regrets! I think it will be a few more years before he has sex, so I can't speak to that. At his age he is just becoming aware that some boys are different and was horrified to learn that some parents think cutting a baby is alright.
It's definitely informative reading other's comments all throughout this forum on the subject. I've even sought advice from a coworker friend of mine who recently had a baby. He said he and his wife chose not to circumcise and said that it's just not necessary and didn't seem like the right choice for them and just advised me to do a lot of research to decide for myself. I'm glad to be getting all this feedback!

That's so good to know that your son doesn't have any regrets about it! I can understand how strange it must be for a young boy to discover that his parts are different from others his age, and the more and more common is becomes for boys to not be circumcised, the more circumcised boys will feel like the odd ones out.


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If you do not do it your child can make up his own choice to get circumcised when he is grown up but he can never get back a lost body part. Restoration is not going to be the same as the real deal.

I live in a country where more or less everyone is intact and the clean part is completely up to actually cleaning yourself and nothing more. As to foreskin hurting, well never heard any guy here say that, perhaps that could be true if he has an extremely tight foreskin even as an adult at which a minor operation can be done and cream can help too. I did have a boy friend who had tight foreskin but he could retract it he just had to be careful. He retracted it before sex but other than that he didn't seem to have any problems. He had been offered an operation as a teen but turned it down because he didn't have problems with it. Without discussing this too much for his privacy he had different taste in how he wanted to be touched sexually compared to all other men with normal foreskin that I have been in contact with but as I said, he definitely didn't suffer from it.
That's kind of what I have been thinking as well about my son being able to make the choice for himself if he feels he wants to circumcise someday (just like my brother). It should be his choice ultimately.

That's good to hear that foreskin doesn't actually hurt during intercourse as my brother had suggested it may. I assume whatever he read was referring to the sensation males feel early in their sexual lives and not something that is persistent. That's an interesting story too. I've heard many things about how both having foreskin and not having it can vary from person to person.

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#13 of 43 Old 08-20-2015, 10:19 AM
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Whatever you read up on it, keep a human distance, the propoganda is frightening. Stick to your parental instincts, disassociate yourself from social pressure and scare mongering.

My experience is perhaps particularly bad, but I am findig that I am far from being a rare unlucky case. Its a real unrepairable risk that due to all the outside inflences is kept unspoken. Hence the title "unspeakable". And I certainly feel I have been "mutilated", which technically is what it is.

Be reassured that there are hundreds and hundreds of millions of men and boys elsewhere in other civilised parts of the world with a foreskin who are doing just fine ...
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[FONT="Century Gothic"]That's kind of what I have been thinking as well about my son being able to make the choice for himself if he feels he wants to circumcise someday (just like my brother). It should be his choice ultimately.
Exactly! I've been mulling this over all morning and hopped back on here to say exactly that. By leaving him intact you are giving HIM the freedom of choice. If he wishes later that he was circumcised (unlikely, in my opinion), he CAN choose to have it done. If you make that choice for him now, where does that leave him if he later wishes to be intact?

Also, to add more anecdotal evidence, my almost-4 year old is intact and pretty darn happy about it. No issues at all thus far. And as far as adult sexual experience goes, I've been with uncircumcised men in the past who were also pretty darn happy about being intact, as well as circumcised men who were regretful (and in one case had pain on arousal due to a botched circumcision.)

I have encountered the "stinky foreskin" before and, no surprise, the guy in question simply didn't clean himself enough. Seriously, it takes 15 seconds in the shower--I think that's worth hanging on to such a highly sensitive body part!
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Whatever you read up on it, keep a human distance, the propoganda is frightening. Stick to your parental instincts, disassociate yourself from social pressure and scare mongering.

My experience is perhaps particularly bad, but I am findig that I am far from being a rare unlucky case. Its a real unrepairable risk that due to all the outside inflences is kept unspoken. Hence the title "unspeakable". And I certainly feel I have been "mutilated", which technically is what it is.

Be reassured that there are hundreds and hundreds of millions of men and boys elsewhere in other civilised parts of the world with a foreskin who are doing just fine ...
This is really good advice! I completely agree. I think being true to yourself and to what you feel, after doing enough research and self-education, is what really matters. I do feel like a lot of people in today's society (at least here in parts of the United States) do feel pressure to do it just to be like others around them. But it's interesting and good to know that the rates have declined so much over the years and that people are starting to question it. Also, it's great too knowing that it's not such a common thing at all in other parts of the world and that boys and men everywhere are happy and content with it that way.


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Exactly! I've been mulling this over all morning and hopped back on here to say exactly that. By leaving him intact you are giving HIM the freedom of choice. If he wishes later that he was circumcised (unlikely, in my opinion), he CAN choose to have it done. If you make that choice for him now, where does that leave him if he later wishes to be intact?

Also, to add more anecdotal evidence, my almost-4 year old is intact and pretty darn happy about it. No issues at all thus far. And as far as adult sexual experience goes, I've been with uncircumcised men in the past who were also pretty darn happy about being intact, as well as circumcised men who were regretful (and in one case had pain on arousal due to a botched circumcision.)

I have encountered the "stinky foreskin" before and, no surprise, the guy in question simply didn't clean himself enough. Seriously, it takes 15 seconds in the shower--I think that's worth hanging on to such a highly sensitive body part!
I think that's really a smart and logical thing! Leaving the decision up to the person in question is not only most considerate, but also morally (in this case, being that it is an irreversible removal of skin) right thing to do.

Thanks for sharing your knowledge and experience, JadePlant! I am happy knowing that there are young boys out there and also adults that are satisfied remaining intact. Also, that makes a lot of sense about some men just not cleaning properly and taking the little bit of time to make sure they are hygienic. The more I think about it, the more I feel my brother experienced that odor is because he was never taught how to really clean himself and he also just never cared as much as he should have. But spending just a few extra seconds cleaning is really not asking a whole lot, especially like you said if it's in exchange for something so beneficial.




I'm really starting to feel swayed to not circumcising at all now and leaving that choice up to my son if he ever wishes to consider it. Thank you so much for all the advice and helpful comments you guys have been leaving here! I am definitely feeling better informed and will continue to do more research and discuss it over with my significant other. It definitely is a choice that we as parents need to take very seriously!
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#16 of 43 Old 08-20-2015, 03:00 PM
 
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If you do not do it your child can make up his own choice to get circumcised when he is grown up but he can never get back a lost body part. Restoration is not going to be the same as the real deal.
Well said.

It's not your brother's body. If something is not absolutely 100% medically necessary in order for either improvement of life or survival, there is absolutely no reason to have it done.

Especially amputation and disfigurement, which circumcision is.

But yeah, I see that you're really considering both sides of the choice... it absolutely is not something to be taken lightly. (I've always said it isn't my body, therefore, like I said, if it isn't necessary, defer it to him.)

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#17 of 43 Old 08-20-2015, 08:15 PM
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Smelly ?

If a man cant keep that part of his body clean, you can be sure the rest of him isnt very clean either. No respect for himself, nor others.

When I had a foreskin, washing it was a great start to the day. Like giving a high five to your best friend. I was taught as a kid that this was important and grew up to understand why.

The logic of amputating a body part because you cant be bothered to clean it is like ripping out your teeth because you have bad breath and cant be bothered to brush them.

FYI - I have several posts on this website documenting my circumcision experience, which I hope are easy reading. the medical profession didnt warn me, and cant help or repair what has been done to me, so by writing I am trying to help others understand what is really going on and the real long term permanent risk of reduced sexual pleasure and discomfort - an issue that is kept under wraps for so many outside reasons.

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#18 of 43 Old 08-20-2015, 09:38 PM
 
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I have a brother too. He is in his late twenties and intact. In his area, about half of the children his age were not circumcised. He was not mocked for his penis. He is happy to have a foreskin and doesn't have any problems.

There are whole countries where no man is circumcised. All those men are still having sex. Foreskins, therefore, are surely not so disgusting that no woman will go near one. If all the Norwegian girls like foreskins, surely American women can learn to also.

I prefer intact men.
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#19 of 43 Old 08-20-2015, 10:21 PM
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North American women complain that foreskins are not a clean part of the body and should be removed ? Thats a bit rich given what goes on in a lady's private parts. That is a seriously disturbing double standard and cruel pressure to exert. If either a man or woman's parts smell, complain, force them to learn to wash for damn sake, but dont start using a knife rather than soap and warm water.
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#20 of 43 Old 08-20-2015, 11:23 PM
 
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If he wasn't washing properly he may have had irritation or a mild infection which was the cause of the pain, rather than the presence of the foreskin itself.


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#21 of 43 Old 08-21-2015, 09:11 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi guys,

A little update on all this:

I was out with a coworker friend and his wife and their son, along with my significant other last night. The subject of circumcision was brought up (by my S.O. actually, who asked our friends if they had their son circumcised). A conversation on the subject followed, and I was surprised to hear my boyfriend so open to the idea of not circumcising and instead leaving our son intact.

We later spoke about it at home, and though my S.O. always had assumed he'd have his kid circumcised, and though his sister (who recently had a baby) circumcised her son, he was willing to not force our child to go through that unnecessary procedure and agreed that it does seem like something we should leave up to him to decide. He said the only concern he has (which is just a minor one) would be teaching his son to clean himself properly and caring for an uncircumcised penis, being that he doesn't have one himself. Also, he mentioned he was slightly worried our son might feel different having a differently-shaped penis than his father, since he remembers always looking up to his dad growing up and wanting to be just like him. I reassured him on these points though, and he said if it's something I feel in my gut isn't something we should do, then he's happy to not have that done to our boy.

So, thank you again everyone for bringing all of this to my attention and for all the information. I realize it's a touchy subject and some people may get a little unintentionally overzealous in their responses which may turn some people on the defensive, but I found myself very inspired. I also feel all the mounds of research I've been doing these past few days has definitely opened up my eyes quite a lot. This is something that shouldn't be kept in the dark and should definitely be discussed and debated more often.

~ArcaneAscent

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#22 of 43 Old 08-21-2015, 12:41 PM
 
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Glad to have the talk!

And you want your son to match his father: match his integrity, his kindness of spirit, his hard work ethic, or what have you. But you don't have to match penises. What are they going to do, whip them out and compare? My husband is circumcised and my son is intact. He is 3 and they are naked together all the time and he doesn't notice.
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#23 of 43 Old 08-21-2015, 01:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Glad to have the talk!

And you want your son to match his father: match his integrity, his kindness of spirit, his hard work ethic, or what have you. But you don't have to match penises. What are they going to do, whip them out and compare? My husband is circumcised and my son is intact. He is 3 and they are naked together all the time and he doesn't notice.
Thanks, Michelle! Again, I really appreciate all the information and am really happy I stumbled upon this forum recently. It's already been informative in so many ways.

Yes! Exactly. You said it perfectly. I told my significant other that just because he was circumcised doesn't mean his son needs to be forced to go through the same sort of unnecessary, painful process. Also, that's good to hear! I thought the difference between his dad's penis and his own wasn't something a son would really notice, especially as a young child. And that's the same reaction I had lol when my S.O. said that he was slightly concerned that our son may want to be like his dad as far as his penis goes! I said, "Wait, how is he even going to see your penis?" Apparently, my S.O. saw his dad's as a kid when his dad took a shower with him and taught him how to clean and shower himself. And they peed together all the time. That was so strange to me in some ways, since, as I kind of mentioned in one of the many replies I made to this thread, I grew up with really modest parents who didn't address topics that they considered awkward, and so my dad was never naked around my brother. But I guess every family is different! In either case though, like you said, I feel like our son will be just fine and probably won't even notice. Then, when he is old enough to understand, we can explain it and go over all that with him.

~ArcaneAscent

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My ds is 10 and he has seen his dad walk through the house in the past sans clothing and has yet to ask, I have heard others say that they always though that as a child they just thought theirs would look that way as an adult.

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#25 of 43 Old 08-21-2015, 07:39 PM
 
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Hi guys,

A little update on all this:

I was out with a coworker friend and his wife and their son, along with my significant other last night. The subject of circumcision was brought up (by my S.O. actually, who asked our friends if they had their son circumcised). A conversation on the subject followed, and I was surprised to hear my boyfriend so open to the idea of not circumcising and instead leaving our son intact.

We later spoke about it at home, and though my S.O. always had assumed he'd have his kid circumcised, and though his sister (who recently had a baby) circumcised her son, he was willing to not force our child to go through that unnecessary procedure and agreed that it does seem like something we should leave up to him to decide. He said the only concern he has (which is just a minor one) would be teaching his son to clean himself properly and caring for an uncircumcised penis, being that he doesn't have one himself. Also, he mentioned he was slightly worried our son might feel different having a differently-shaped penis than his father, since he remembers always looking up to his dad growing up and wanting to be just like him. I reassured him on these points though, and he said if it's something I feel in my gut isn't something we should do, then he's happy to not have that done to our boy.

So, thank you again everyone for bringing all of this to my attention and for all the information. I realize it's a touchy subject, and some people may get a little unintentionally overzealous in their responses, which may turn some people on the defensive, but I found myself very inspired. I also feel all the mounds of research I've been doing these past few days has definitely opened up my eyes quite a lot. This is something that shouldn't be kept in the dark and should definitely be discussed and debated more often.

Glad to hear the good news! Congratulations and good luck!
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#26 of 43 Old 08-22-2015, 07:29 AM
 
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Hey. I didn't read every post here but wanted to help if I could. You mentioned him feeling uncomfortable as he grows. In my state California, circumcision is NOT the norm, nor is it worldwide. We are the only country who does routine infant circumcision without religious context.

I didn't circumcise my son. Proud of that. I read a study that it changes the baseline readings of certain parts of the brain dealing with reason.

My brother had a botched circumcision in my opinion after looking at photographs of neo natal and toddler stages. My brother is schizophrenic and I think this was a factor for him. He also developed strange sexuality, but, no need to discuss that.

My son's father had a tight circumcision. When erect, there was too little accommodating skin and would pull extra needed skin from his scrotom, uncomfortably. He was not a larger man in this regard, average would be generous to say.

My current partner is uncircumcised. Smooth, beautiful, functional.

Foreskin is a protective organ. Their heads are smoother for this reason. They have ALL their nerve endings. The penis has glands that excret... idk... something purposeful. Similar to women's glands on the labia. I've never noticed fluid on my son or partner but I know that is the reason the head is not bumpy or dry, but pink and smooth.

Female circumcision was LEGAL in the US until sometime in the 90s. It's not recommended by any heath organization at any time anywhere.

Your newborn needs your protection. This is an unnecessary, morbid, elective mutation to your child's genetalia, the most sensitive body part during the most sensitive days of his life. For more harm than good as I view foreskin as functional.
Plus they strap them down, pump their stomachs so they don't choke on their vomit, cut their penis where they have the most nerves. Babies die, go into shock, get bad circumcision since they can't anticipate adult penis size since it grows over 100 times. It interferes with bonding and breastfeeding. Risk of infection. The risks go on.

In medicine we weigh risk and benefit. What was the point again? You thought he might get made fun of? Not worth it. Not really right to alter someone's body for asthtic preferences of genetalia especially.

Oh and I forgot to say that there have been at least 3 reported cases of schizophrenia in Adult Elective Circumcision. Meaning an adult wanted one and directly developed schizophrenia. While inconclusive about my brother... I do think this kind of trauma contributed based on what I've seen in photographs that they partially amputated his penis.

Please do not circumcise. Your baby is born perfect!!!! EXAFTLY the way we are intended with no extra, unfunctional body parts!!!.Hold your baby, love him, protect him from harm. You know that instinctively. Don't let anyone cut his foreskin off, he can choose this later in life (but probably won't) when he is old enough to decide. It's simply not our choice to cosmetically alter another person.

Sorry for the passion (not really!) Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
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#27 of 43 Old 08-22-2015, 07:43 AM
 
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Just saw your decision! Congratulations!!!

Their penis won't really be astoundingly diffrent, except Dad's will probably be bigger and hairy...

I didn't really wonder if my vagina looked like my mom's or not... generally speaking genetalia look all similar and diffrent too.

My son is 4. I have not done anything special to care for his penis or clean it. His foreskin looks diffrent than my nephews, whose seems longer? Like hanging differently. He might have to retract to pee, idk. Doesn't seem to be a problem or my sister would have mentioned it, I'm sure.

NOTE** the foreskin is FUSED to the penis until sometime before the age of 5. DONT RETRACT. It will hurt and damage him, like trying to lift a fingernail. BE CAREFUL THAT YOUR PEDIATRICIAN DOESN'T DO THIS, my sister's did and she was pissed. That's ignorant.
Tell caretakers there's no need to do anything differently and don't try to pull back his foreskin. It's doing its job and doesn't need our help.

As far as cleaning, once he is older, you'll know as mom you'll know what to show him if it's necessary to retract.

Like I said my son's penis hasn't gotten one bit of extra care in 4 years. His foreskin looks smaller than my nephews and my partners is not very noticeable either. I wouldn't have known the diffrence really... cept his is better, all the nerves, not scarred or too tight skin, smoother...

Love that guy.
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#28 of 43 Old 08-22-2015, 08:14 AM
 
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Just saw your decision! Congratulations!!!

Their penis won't really be astoundingly diffrent, except Dad's will probably be bigger and hairy...

I didn't really wonder if my vagina looked like my mom's or not... generally speaking genetalia look all similar and diffrent too.

My son is 4. I have not done anything special to care for his penis or clean it. His foreskin looks diffrent than my nephews, whose seems longer? Like hanging differently. He might have to retract to pee, idk. Doesn't seem to be a problem or my sister would have mentioned it, I'm sure.

NOTE** the foreskin is FUSED to the penis until sometime before the age of 5. DONT RETRACT. It will hurt and damage him, like trying to lift a fingernail. BE CAREFUL THAT YOUR PEDIATRICIAN DOESN'T DO THIS, my sister's did and she was pissed. That's ignorant.
Tell caretakers there's no need to do anything differently and don't try to pull back his foreskin. It's doing its job and doesn't need our help.

As far as cleaning, once he is older, you'll know as mom you'll know what to show him if it's necessary to retract.

Like I said my son's penis hasn't gotten one bit of extra care in 4 years. His foreskin looks smaller than my nephews and my partners is not very noticeable either. I wouldn't have known the diffrence really... cept his is better, all the nerves, not scarred or too tight skin, smoother...

Love that guy.


Well said.

Your son, original poster, should be the first person to retract it. If he tugs away (making it longer), as babies and young kids sometimes do, that's ok. As an infant/young child, as long as he can pee without discomfort, everything is ok.

Clean it the same way you would a finger...no need for anyone to pull anything back. Some medical personnel will attempt a "just a little bit, so I can see" or they'll try to tell you that it has to be "gently pulled back." No, no, no. No need at all.

The locker room argument is bogus. Kids, girls included, will tease each other for anything and everything. We wouldn't give our daughters surgery for areas where they differ. If your son brings it up, just reply in an age-appropriate manner that some kids had a surgery to remove the skin. Usually, the response seems to be one of "well, that's awesome you didn't remove mine."

If one kid opens his yap in a locker room, they'll usually be met with a response of "why are you looking down there?" and that usually seems to end that.
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Hi, I just joined this board specifically to comment on this thread.

I commend the OP for being open to not circumcising! I was so happy to read that.

I am a man who had a circumcision done when I was a baby, and my circumcision has caused me a lot of problems. Circumcision is an irreversible procedure that removes erogenous tissue, and partly or completely ruins the penis's ability to self-lubricate. I am so happy to see that more mothers aren't subjecting their sons to this unnecessary operation, which was initially popularized in the US for the express purpose of reducing sexual pleasure, in a time when sexual pleasure was incorrectly seen as the cause of many disorders.

I am not sure if this has been mentioned already, but if not, I would like you to be aware of the "phony phimosis diagnosis". The majority of young children's foreskins don't retract for a good while. They're adhered to the glanses firmly. The foreskin separates from the glans slowly in most cases, and usually the foreskin becomes fully retractable around age 10, very roughly speaking (but every boy is different).

If a doctor diagnoses your son with "phimosis" while he is still a child, I would urge you to get a second opinion. Many boys are unnecessarily circumcised due to false phimosis diagnoses. Many doctors simply don't know that the foreskin is normally non-retractable in infants.

There are very, very few legitimate indications for circumcision. Some (not all, but some) doctors rush to circumcision as the first-line treatment for any and all penis problems in the intact male child. This is an extreme measure that is almost always unnecessary. There are almost always other, less-severe treatments available (although most likely your son will be perfectly fine and this won't be an issue, it's good to be aware, just in case).

I would also like to stress that "ballooning" during urination is normal in intact male children and is not harmful in and of itself.

And, it is common for an intact boy to have a "pointy penis" or "redundant" foreskin. The fact is, it isn't redundant. He will more than likely "grow into" it in time. At birth, nothing in his body is going to look like it will when he grows up. Throughout his youth, his body will be a work in progress.
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#30 of 43 Old 08-24-2015, 11:17 AM
 
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OP, I am coming to this discussion a bit late, but suffice to say that it makes me very happy to read that you are open to leaving your son intact. I am another man who is extremely pissed that he was circumcised. I feel like I have been violated, and I know that my sex life has been mediocre at best because of it. I would have far rather been left whole rather than "look like" my Dad.

One thing that has not really been mentioned is that an intact penis is self cleaning - just like girl bits. In childhood, benign neglect is the best practice. Later on, once the foreskin becomes retractable (average age of 10), plain water is usually best. Often the "stinky foreskin" is caused by over zealous cleaning with soap etc that destroys the natural flora within the foreskin cavity.

Recently I came across a really good blog that you may enjoy reading: http://www.greenmedinfo.com/blog/for...-north-america . There are many links embedded in it that lead to further information.

Also, as alluded in a post above, the foreskin possesses a huge number of nerves which are lost in a circumcision - see: www.cirp.org/library/anatomy/sorrells_2007/ . Not to mention that the neural pathways to the brain are also severed, which is why intact men are able to pace themselves, whereas circumcised men experience ejaculation like a runaway train. There is a huge amount of information at www.cirp.org .

Although many will concede that there are physiological effects resulting from circumcision, a lot fewer people are aware of the possible psychological ramifications. You might be interested in reading: www.cirp.org/library/psych/goldman1/ .

Finally, kudos to you for being proactive in learning all you can about this bizarre custom!!
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