Less ejaculation since being cut - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 18 Old 11-26-2015, 09:11 AM - Thread Starter
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Less ejaculation since being cut

The following comments are somewhat of an explicit sexual nature - but then, the issue explicitly concerns the male sexual apparatus ...


My lifelong wife gave me an interesting comment, regarding the difference to our intimacy a year ago before I was cut, and now.


She remarks that before, during our intimacy outside of intercourse, I would ejaculate far and wide - for example up to my shoulders and beyond if I was lying on my back. Now, I basically just fill up my belly button.


For me its a very real demonstration of the enjoyment a foreskin helps generate, and the underwhelming experince without it. She now gets what I have been trying to explain.


Before the build-up of excitement and release that I enjoyed with a foreshin was explosive, and now so much lesser so without it. The same feeling applies to my experience during intercourse - its just less obvious to my partner !


Having been together 20 yrs since teenagers, its not as if this is our first rodeo together, and we are pretty open minded and adventurous in trying to figure out an improvement to my new circumcised situation. But dealing with what only can be called 'second class orgasms' is becomming quite a challenge. The loss of back & forth gliding movement of the foreskin over the gland that generates so much pleasure is simply irreplaceable.


The reduced "explosion" is a very visual and clear testament to the importance of that little piece of skin - to the man.


Whilst I dont want to open a technique debate, any suggestions most welcome !

Last edited by JLUK; 11-26-2015 at 01:18 PM.
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#2 of 18 Old 11-27-2015, 06:30 AM
 
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As a guy circumcised in infancy, I have always had "second class" orgasms - actually I prefer to say that I "ejaculate", rather than "orgasm" because I long ago noticed that what I experience is nothing like as intense as what my wife, and other partners before her, experienced. It seems like their whole body is taken over during the orgasm, where for me, it seems like more a feeling of relief - an itch that got satisfactorily scratched. As I get older, I notice that it is a lot more difficult to even achieve enough sensory excitement to trigger an ejaculation.

These are the things that I wish our doctors would understand, so that they could realize the significant value of a foreskin to the quality of one's, and their partner's, sex life. Hopefully there would be a bit more effort put into treating issues by methods other than jumping straight to amputation.

Rather tragic to realize the depth of ignorance within our medical community and the devastating effect it has on the quality of life of their victims.
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#3 of 18 Old 11-29-2015, 05:46 PM
 
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Originally Posted by hakunangovi View Post
As a guy circumcised in infancy, I have always had "second class" orgasms - actually I prefer to say that I "ejaculate", rather than "orgasm" because I long ago noticed that what I experience is nothing like as intense as what my wife, and other partners before her, experienced. It seems like their whole body is taken over during the orgasm, where for me, it seems like more a feeling of relief - an itch that got satisfactorily scratched. As I get older, I notice that it is a lot more difficult to even achieve enough sensory excitement to trigger an ejaculation.

These are the things that I wish our doctors would understand, so that they could realize the significant value of a foreskin to the quality of one's, and their partner's, sex life. Hopefully there would be a bit more effort put into treating issues by methods other than jumping straight to amputation.

Rather tragic to realize the depth of ignorance within our medical community and the devastating effect it has on the quality of life of their victims.
This may sound rather rated "R" for here but for the sake of your issue I have a possible solution to your issue to help get you back "shooting far and wide" again. As a woman I am only on the receiving end so I have only heard of ways to get you back to shooting distance. One way is basically spicing things up in the bedroom. That's left up to your imagination. For me its after a workout or coming home from a jog or yoga while the kids are at school my husband and I will play "personal trainer." Things really heat up and long story short my husband could shoot the moon down if you know what I mean. Basically get a little dirty...try dirty talk to each other, build the suspense, try things that are out of the norm for you and see what happens! Good luck!


Jen
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#4 of 18 Old 11-30-2015, 02:27 AM - Thread Starter
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I wish supermom8 that it was that simple - but you are not understanding the issue. All my life up to the day before I lost my foreskin, everything was hunkey-dorey. Since its amputation, intimacy with my wife has taken a huge back seat in terms of pleasure for me, for the simple reason that without that little piece of skin the feelings during action are simply underwhelming compared to the intensity I had before. Its enjoyable, but in a very different, basic way in comparison. The drive is still there, but the journey is less fun. I know very well what its like to have a toe-curling experience, but since losing that wonderful piece of skin I am miles away from having the same - and my 'spraying' descirption is a basic visual display of that difference in feeling. I am a pretty dab-hand at looking after myself, and frakly even alone I dont know how to achive the same thing. If I have to resort to being kinky as you suggest, then frankly thats damn worrying and a massive condemnation of life for the circumcised man.
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#5 of 18 Old 12-02-2015, 08:48 AM
 
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Why were you cut a year ago?

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#6 of 18 Old 12-02-2015, 10:15 AM - Thread Starter
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Why were you cut a year ago?
To respond to mysticmomma: I was cut to repair a micro fracture in a vein half way up my penis - in short, the penis is designed to point upwards when erect and 'under pressure'. An unfortunate slip during intimacy with my wife pushed it downwards. It can happen for example if the lady is on top, and leans backwards too far.


Apparently its pretty rare, especially for a lifelong 'standard practice' hetrosexual couple like us. In Paris where I was operated, with a population of 8 million, it happens to about 10 men a year.


Mine was a tiny tear. In order to repair it so as to ensure it could take full pressure again, the surgeon recommended precautionary action. The easiest access for 1 micro stich was by pulling the foreskin all the way down, for which circumcision was needed.


The surgeon, 2 leading uroligists, my general practitioner and a sexologists all tell me the stitch had no consequence to the loss in sensation I am feeling - the fracture being far from the erogenous end area. Also, apparently my circumcision is a 'good normal one'. My erections are as hard as they have ever been. I just dont have a foreskin to move around my knob like I could before.


I am not angry at losing my foreskin - it was precautionary 'collateral damage'. But I am amazed at the difference in life of being a man with one, then suddenly without one. This thread on 'spurt distance' is just one of the visual examples that has helped my wife understand, hence my writing.


In trying to understand why intimacy with my lifelong partner has suddenly become so underwhelming compared to before, and why my penis is generally pretty unimpressed with its new unprotected and exposed daily life, I have taken a look into the subject of circumcision to see if I am an exceptional case or if I can do more to improve my situation. It would seem I am far from being alone, and I am amazed at the general misconceptions and taboos surrounding it. My before / after experience really exposes these misconceptions, and I hope my writings like this example on the reality help dispell them. Bottom line from my experience, wondering around with your knob permanently exposed is not how a man should ideally have to go through life, especially if he has regular access to water to clean himself. The foreskin really adds so much comfort, and sexual pleasure. And no one else who is cut has managed to explain to me otherwize. I basically just get the comfort of "dont worry you'll get used to it". I got unlucky, but others really shouldnt have to "get used to it" unless they chose to themselves, and with the knowledge of the potential consequences, as I highlight.

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#7 of 18 Old 12-03-2015, 06:34 PM
 
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I just wanted to post that I appreciate your honesty in sharing your experiences here. As I might have mentioned before, I get the impression from reading posts by other mothers of new sons that they do not think much beyond him as a child and do not give any thought to how their actions might impact his adult life. It's so sad.

I can empathise with your situation. I had to have emergency surgery on my eyes (retinoschisis) about 10 years ago. They surgeons managed to save my vision (except for a small area where the vision loss was too advanced) and I've had multiple smaller procedures since then. The surgeons always tell me that I'll get used to the way things are now and that I'll adjust, but I can tell you that my sight now is nothing like it was, and it's just a matter of making do with the function that is left to me.
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#8 of 18 Old 12-06-2015, 04:15 AM
 
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Originally Posted by supermom8 View Post
This may sound rather rated "R" for here but for the sake of your issue I have a possible solution to your issue to help get you back "shooting far and wide" again. As a woman I am only on the receiving end so I have only heard of ways to get you back to shooting distance. One way is basically spicing things up in the bedroom. That's left up to your imagination. For me its after a workout or coming home from a jog or yoga while the kids are at school my husband and I will play "personal trainer." Things really heat up and long story short my husband could shoot the moon down if you know what I mean. Basically get a little dirty...try dirty talk to each other, build the suspense, try things that are out of the norm for you and see what happens! Good luck!Jen
Jen, thank you for your response. Unfortunately this really is a physiological rather than psychological issue. I have searched for documented evidence and quantification of the issue, but there is little out there. I would guess that a lot more circumcised men are affected as they age than one might suspect. However, this being a very personal and "ego damaging" problem means that few are willing to talk about it. This would result in the medical community being blissfully unaware of the carnage that they are leaving behind them.

It stands to reason that if one is left with maybe 25% of the nerve endings that one should have and that those are subjected to damage through keritanization, not to mention that those nerves on the glans are pressure sensitive as opposed to the fine touch variety on the foreskin, then sensitivity and sensation are going to be vastly compromised.

If you have not read Sorrells report, you may find it illuminating: www.cirp.org/library/anatomy/sorrells_2007/ .
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#9 of 18 Old 12-06-2015, 02:53 PM
 
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It might have more to do with the micro fracture of the vein or with general aging than a bit of skin. I've heard that having the skin intact may enhance sensation, but I doubt it effects the strength of an ejaculation. Any enlargement in the prostate will reduce the force of an ejaculation as well as urine flow. Have a PSA blood test done and a prostate exam at your next physical. If you are over 40 that's a good possibility. My husband had a dramatic drop in volume and strength at about 45, but after a few months of taking supplements he's back to his 20's again.
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#10 of 18 Old 12-06-2015, 11:50 PM - Thread Starter
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Thank you for the suggestion.

There is no difference due to the stitch. I pee and stiffen just like before. I just dont have a forekin like before.

My point is that, since losing my foreskin I simply dont "get off" like I did during the days I had one. That is very visibly demonstrated by what I have described as "spurt distance". No problem getting an erection, its simply less fun getting rid of it and the "explosion" is less intense, hence the lesser spurt. Sure I manage and have got used to it, but its just not the toe-curling ride as it was when that little piece of skin was sliding back and forth over my knob - which is a delicious sensation that every man should enjoy, let alone the protection the rest of the time.

My description is a basic demonstration that removing the foreskin does have a negative effect of mans enjoyment, and comfort. I have lived without one now for a year, I have gotten used to it, but frankly speaking its a rediculous way to have to go through life compared to the luxury I used to have, and I would give everything I have away if I could get it back. It really is a huge difference.

Having now had life with and without, it frightens me how man has managed to get himself manipulated into such an absurd situation.
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#11 of 18 Old 12-07-2015, 11:38 AM
 
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@JLUK - have you considered restoring your foreskin? I don't remember if you've talked about this before or not.

Sus
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#12 of 18 Old 12-07-2015, 12:43 PM - Thread Starter
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Yes mama24, in the mens cummunity of the regretfully cut this is basically a ray of hope to regain part of the gliding pleasure and daylong protection. Its not the real deal but better than nothing.

Ive made a few tentative "tugs", but its a long term plan (years) of daily 30-60 mins of private attention. Not easy to find that daily time when you have kids, a wife and a preoccupying job. And its not a very dignified way to start the day or finish it when thers life in the house. I have kinda put it in my mind to pursue once the kids have gone. In the meantime, if I have a long day of walking, it gets a little sock and vaseline for protection - that adds alot of comfort and prevents sore and dryness from rubbing.

The sites that explain it have litterally millions of followers - testament to the number of cut men that quietly share my woes.
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#13 of 18 Old 12-08-2015, 06:39 AM
 
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Okay, I checked with a friend who has been restoring for a few years. He suggested you go to www.restoringforeskin.org, if you haven't already. My main reason for checking with him was because I didn't think one had to spend that much time each day on it. I'm going to guess that those who do see results much quicker, but it's not the only way to do it, there are many ways. Also, there is something, I think it's called the manhood cover or just manhood, that's designed to be worn all the time to protect the glans.

Hope this helps in some way.

Best wishes,
Sus

Baby the babies while they're babies so they don't need babying for a lifetime.
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#14 of 18 Old 12-10-2015, 05:46 AM - Thread Starter
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thank you mama24-7.


You are right, the manhood style 'sock' makes a huge difference in terms of feeling less exposed, and less raw at the end of the day from all the rubbing against cloth.


Having your sensitive knob exposed like that 24/7 is just so wrong - and I hope the sensitivty I still have doesnt get rubbed away. He really should'nt be on permanent display - he is so much happier when kept nice and snugly wrapped up and only have to come out for 'special moments'.

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#15 of 18 Old 12-10-2015, 12:47 PM
 
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If it makes you feel better my hubbys circumcision was botched years ago and he's always had self confidence issues unfortunately. I tell him it works just fine and I love him no matter what, its just the looks of it from time to time, kind of resembling a sad looking wind sock. Humor is how we get through it. :-)
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#16 of 18 Old 12-11-2015, 02:34 AM - Thread Starter
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Supermom8, I think its my wife who is struggling with the self confidence in that she sees I am not enjoying our intimacy as much as before, and is not sure how to "handle it", so to speak, as there is less free skin movement to build up excitement, as she knew how to do so well before. And its not for lack of trying alternatives. Dont even know myself what to suggest. Pretty daft situation really for an open minded lifelong couple. It might help if my cut was 'botched', it would provide a technical excuse, but apparently its a good one. The sensations are simply underwhelming now. So there is the contrast between what people generally say - ie 'there should be no difference', and the reality of what we are actualy now having to handle. To say 'there is no difference' is just ridiculous, its just cannot be true as any simple analysis of the 2 situations side by side demonstrates. By the way I have no problem with confidence myself, just sadness for the poor old chap down there who isnt finding life as comfortable or as pleasurable as before.
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Last edited by JLUK; 12-11-2015 at 02:46 AM.
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#17 of 18 Old 12-11-2015, 05:53 AM
 
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The sensations are simply underwhelming now. So there is the contrast between what people generally say - ie 'there should be no difference', and the reality of what we are actualy now having to handle. To say 'there is no difference' is just ridiculous, its just cannot be true as any simple analysis of the 2 situations side by side demonstrates..
I totally agree with you. Most "reports" and "studies" stating that there is no difference were done by doctors who have a ve$ted interest in keeping the custom going. Look at any objective study, such as the one done by Sorrells, that I quoted above, or that on the "sexasnatureintendedit" website, and as you say, it just cannot be true that there is no difference.
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#18 of 18 Old 08-03-2016, 08:56 AM
 
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It stands to reason that if one is left with maybe 25% of the nerve endings that one should have and that those are subjected to damage through keritanization, not to mention that those nerves on the glans are pressure sensitive as opposed to the fine touch variety on the foreskin, then sensitivity and sensation are going to be vastly compromised.

If you have not read Sorrells report, you may find it illuminating: www.cirp.org/library/anatomy/sorrells_2007/ .
This is actually the real harm. If someone strapped me to a board and chopped off a finger, it would not have ruined my life. I would still feel a loss but it would not be totally devastating. My "orgasms" feel like they're only partial orgasms. I never feel satisfied. I cannot enjoy life because of this.
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