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#1 of 59 Old 08-13-2005, 02:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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i just found out that the hospital does not allow anyone to be with the baby while the procedure is being done. I DONT THINK SO!!! can our ped do it? i am so lost due to being in the navy and getting 15 different answers from people. i hope someone on here can help me!!!

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#2 of 59 Old 08-13-2005, 03:02 PM
 
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The problem is, Jill, that this is the case AGAINST circumcision forum. We are the wrong people to ask about where to get your son circ'ed.

Yes, you can get it done at the ped's office, but I highly recommend that you rethink the whole procedure. It's NOT just "a little snip." You will be affecting your son's future sexual functioning. Is that what you want for him???
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#3 of 59 Old 08-13-2005, 03:03 PM
 
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to answer your question- yes pediatricians do circ's. One important thing to consider is anesthesia- this is an EXTREMELY painful surgery (almost identical to having your fingernails ripped out) so please, please, please INSIST on a Ring block (local anesthesia) is done by injecting local anesthetic (like the dentist uses) around the bottom of the foreskin near where the incision will be made.
or a Penile block (nerve block) is done by injecting local anesthetic at the base of the penis, where the nerves for pain are located.

and make sure to give it time to take effect- please know that EMLA cream is not effective and most dr.s don't even give it time to work.

now...I just have to plead with you to please, please, please do more research! There are so many good sites to visit and info to read before making this very major decision for your son (which in my opinion is his decision to make when he is older)

please see this thread
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=207626

on a personal note, I wish to God my partner hadn't been circed- it has not only hurt him but our sex life.- circ can never be undone- please don't do it!

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#4 of 59 Old 08-13-2005, 03:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jill0905
i just found out that the hospital does not allow anyone to be with the baby while the procedure is being done.

Whether or not you are with your son during his torture makes no difference to him. Actually, if you're there, he might wonder why you're not stopping it! Hey, here's a thought--why not just leave him intact?! Circumcision: the first place sex meets violence.

"Our task is not to see the future, but to enable it."
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#5 of 59 Old 08-13-2005, 03:34 PM
 
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Hey, I have an idea...why don't you leave your baby's body in its natural state? :
Umm, as far as why they won't allow parents in the room: I'm sure they don't think you could handle witnessing what actually takes place during a circumcision!

You should check it out FIRST- I think there's a link somewhere around here.

Please think about what your considering, you can't undo it.


:ignoreI'll keep the rest of my thoughts on this subject to myself. Don't mean to be nasty I was just stunned by the question.
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#6 of 59 Old 08-13-2005, 03:37 PM
 
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Yes, please do rethink it! My husband and my son are both intact and we've never had a problem with it.

If your son decides when he is adult to be circumcised they can always do it then but it doens't need to be done right now. Anybody who's insisting on it most likely hasn't really done the research.

Please look through the links and research available in the stickies above before making any decisions.
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#7 of 59 Old 08-13-2005, 03:53 PM
 
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Please research all the facts so you can make an informed decision for your child...
Sorry again if I came across self-righteous in my first post.
I didn't mean to be judgemental- a lot of people aren't aware of all the controversy that surrounds this "procedure".

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=207626
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...ght=circ+video
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#8 of 59 Old 08-13-2005, 03:59 PM
 
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Ok, I'm not going to keep my mouth shut on this one.


Why do you want to sexually damage your son?

Why do you want to violate his basic human rights?

Are you planning on circumcising your daughter as well, should you have one?


Please, inform yourself and protect your son from the pain, trauma, sexual damage, and human rights violations of circumcision!


http://www.circumstitions.com/Itsaboy.html




-Kira
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#9 of 59 Old 08-13-2005, 04:22 PM
 
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Jill,
I think it is very sensitive of you to want to be with your son during his surgery.

What you may not realize is that there is a very good reason the hospital won't let you be with your baby. THEY DON'T WANT YOU TO SEE WHATREALLY HAPPENS DURING A CIRCUMCISION!!!!!
Once parents figure out that it's not "just a little snip" and the baby doesn't "sleep right through it," there is going to be WIDESPREAD OUTRAGE.

Please, please, please research the procedure.

Did you know that no medical association in the world recomends it? That the foreskin is designed to protect the glans and keep it clean? That it interferes with breastfeeding? That it can lead to later surgeries? That the chance of it "having to be done later" is infintesimal? That half of boys in the US are let intact and it's going to be the norm soon?

I have one circ'ed son and one intact son. Keeping the intact one clean is SO much easier, and I have lost many a night's sleep over the firstborn's circ.

Good uck. Look aroun here; you'll learn a lot!
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#10 of 59 Old 08-13-2005, 04:24 PM
 
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Please do not alter your son's penis. It's fine like it is.

-Angela
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#11 of 59 Old 08-13-2005, 05:06 PM
 
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mmmmm, no further comment from the OP?

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#12 of 59 Old 08-13-2005, 05:10 PM
 
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This is a little glimpse into why they won't let you see it being done:
http://www.intact.ca/video.html

Please reconsider doing this to your precious boy. There is no reason to "welcome" him into the world this way.

Take care,
Tara

Tara Momma to Callum and Gavin
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#13 of 59 Old 08-13-2005, 05:56 PM
 
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Jill0905,

Wow hon, I guess you didn't realize the hornets nest you were stepping in. All of the people on this forum are truely caring people....please at least hear what they have to say.

With that being said, I beg of you, from the very bottom of my heart to please reconsider not having this unneccessary procedure done to your son. Your son will thank you. My circumcised husband and I decided to keep our beautiful boy intact, and we are glad we did...no regrets here. Please take the time to do your research. You will be surprized at what you find. Best of luck.
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#14 of 59 Old 08-13-2005, 06:24 PM
 
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Hi Jill,

I wrote this

http://oknocirc.blogspot.com

as a representation of the usual conversation I have with people regarding circumcision. Please read it - I doubt there is any other surgery you would even consider for your beautiful, perfect son without doing extensive research... and once you found out it was not recommended by any national or international medical association in the world, well, I bet you wouldn't get it done at all!

The same page is linked in my signature. It is informational, with no pictures of the procedure and is very 'daddy-friendly' too.

I hope the initial harshness of some of the previous posters serves to illustrate the zeal we have (and the care for you and your son, in a sort of backwards way!) and does not chase you away.
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#15 of 59 Old 08-13-2005, 08:07 PM
 
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I don't know of many hospitals who allow family member sto watch surgeries (besides c-setions).

Please don't do that to your son. He will be perfect the way he is, and he has a right to his intact body.

Ilaria mamma to Owen, Caroline & Patrick .... loving life as expats in Asia intactlact.gifnovaxnocirc.gifuc.jpgnamaste.gif
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#16 of 59 Old 08-13-2005, 08:24 PM
 
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If you want to be with the baby, then have it done elsewhere. But the procedure is pretty much the same no matter where you get it done. If the hospital apparently thinks it is too difficult for the parents to watch, then how difficult must it be for the baby to go through? Please think about this befor eyou have it done. Read some stories by mothers who have had it done so that maybe you won't be back here with your own? http://www.circumcisionquotes.com/mothers.html
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#17 of 59 Old 08-13-2005, 09:34 PM
 
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Jill, welcome to MDC! I know there have been a lot of websites posted already in this thread and I hope you and your husband will take the time to read them, because this is a hugely important subject. You are considering cosmetic surgery for your son, and you need to know as much about it as possible. Including what circumcision does - i.e. removing half the erogenous tissue of the penis, some 10,000 to 20,000 nerve endings.

The foreskin is not just a piece of skin - it's a vitally important part of the penis as a whole. Please take a look at these sites:

http://research.cirp.org

and http://www.norm.org/lost.html which describes what is lost to circumcision.

When your son arrives, you will see that he is beautiful and perfect just the way he is. You wouldn't circumcise a daughter, so why not protect your son's body too?

Come visit the NEW QuirkyBaby website -- earn QB Bucks rewards points for purchases, reviews, referrals, and more! Free US shipping on great brands of baby slings and carriers and FREE BabyLegs or babywearing mirror on orders of $100+. Take the QB Quiz for personalized advice!

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#18 of 59 Old 08-13-2005, 11:29 PM
 
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Jill Please please PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I beg of you to research this topic fully and then bring your baby home just the same as the moment he was born- perfect and whole.

Maybe there's a reason that you mistakenly posted in a pro-intact forum. Maybe you and your son just got REALLY LUCKY.

My husband is circumcised and really wishes that he wasn't. He's pissed that someone cut off a piece of his penis for no reason and without his permission. And he's not some granola eating, tin-can crusher....he's Mr. Joe Blow, Football-Watching, officer in the US military. Many different types of men feel that something was taken from them that can NEVER be returned.

Your son could grow up to be one of these men, unhappy that he's circumcised, so let it be HIS CHOICE.....it is his body. If he decides he's unhappy being intact, he can make the choice to change his status (though why anyone would cut off a body part that enhances sexual pleasure is beyond me, but to each his own).

We're leaving our son intact and are sooooo glad to be able to leave this (non) decision completely up to him......just the way it should be. If we lived in practically any other country in the world we wouldn't even be facing this ridiculous proposition.
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#19 of 59 Old 08-13-2005, 11:33 PM
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At one of the International Symposia on Circumcision a few years ago, a psychologist stated that the baby conceptualizes (big word, I know) the mother as responsible for all that pain, both during the surgery and for the couple of weeks afterward that it takes to heal physically. Even if the mother never agreed to the circumcision, even if both parents were against it but it was done anyway, Mama Gets The Blame! I am not making this up.

It was suggested (elsewhere) that this might be one reason that so many men hate their mothers (though of course they are usually socialized to hide their feelings), and women in general. All that excruciating pain is all locked up in that poor little brain, it's all subconscious, but of course it always comes out one way or another. Leave that foreskin alone. You as a parent will be the greatest beneficiary, whether you realize it or not now.
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#20 of 59 Old 08-14-2005, 12:22 AM
 
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Why try to fix what isn't broken?

A woman on another board took her son to be circumcised. They messed it up and now he's damaged. They are going to try to fix it when he's older. The surgeon they took him to said they get on average 2 botched circumcision repair jobs a week! Yikes!

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#21 of 59 Old 08-14-2005, 12:45 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zamber
Jill0905,

Wow hon, I guess you didn't realize the hornets nest you were stepping in. All of the people on this forum are truely caring people....please at least hear what they have to say.

i guess i didnt!! well let me rephase my statments. i am completely against doing anything to my child. i have yet to understand why remove something that obvilious God put there! it is my husband that is giving me problems. he just wants it done!!! (good reason, huh? ) well i told him if he wanted it done he had to be in the room with him. my thinking is that he will back down if he has to witness it. does that make me evil?

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#22 of 59 Old 08-14-2005, 12:50 AM
 
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Well then - say that! Since they won't let him be with the baby then you guys just aren't doing it, period. Let him try to find someone to do it, and furthermore to find you a legitimate reason to do it.

Why should you do the work to make it possible to cut bits off your beautiful boy?
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#23 of 59 Old 08-14-2005, 12:50 AM
 
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Please don't let your husband mutilate your child. Stand firm and be the mama. Protect your baby.

Has your husband watched a video of the procedure yet?

-Angela
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#24 of 59 Old 08-14-2005, 01:10 AM
 
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I know it's hard to stand up to a DP/DH, but with all the research out there these days, there really is no reason to have it done. The common excuses about uncirc'd boys have dirty penises and that he won't look like his friends are completely unfounded. I'm sure that most women on here could say this more eloquently than me, but, there's really nothing extra to do with an uncirc'd penis and I read a statistic somewhere (someone here prolly knows where to find it) that we're approaching an over 50% rate of baby boys that AREN'T circumcised...so, he'll be in the minority soon.

Get your husband all the literature that you can on it and ask that he read it. Go to some of the websites suggested and if you have to, print the pictures (in full color) and show them to your DH. Once he sees what it looks like, I'm betting odds he'll change his tune.

PLEASE, listen to your intuition (it's telling you this is a bad thing, right?) and stand up for your son. His only voice is yours right now and if you don't make it loud and clear that this shouldn't be done, no one else will.

*~* A * Mama to C and A * *~* I blog - PM me for the URL
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#25 of 59 Old 08-14-2005, 01:53 AM
 
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Ok, my apologies for flipping out - I had no idea it was the DH wanting it done, not you.

That being said, simply tell him that it won't be done unless he can PROVE that it needs to be done (you'll need actual proof, medical studies, etc.) and that the benefits he is suggesting do outweight the proven risks & damage.

Be firm on that. Also, you should have in writing that you are NOT consenting to a circumcision, and make sure your doctor/midwife/hospital/all of the above have a copy.

Be a fierce Mama bear and protect this baby. Once he is born and you gaze at his perfect little self, you'll realize that you would die protecting him from harm. All of him!




-Kira
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#26 of 59 Old 08-14-2005, 02:10 AM
 
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My own DP assumed that if we had a boy, circumcising was just something that would have to be done.
Till I set him straight !!!
He really didn't know that so many people are forgoing this cruel, dated ritual.
I think most men are a lot more concerned with the "teasing" thing than we are. The idea that your son might feel different than his peers (& dad) may have something to do with his stance on this. That he went through it & he's "fine" might get thrown out too - I got that one at first

I would stand firm on this, of all the decisions that you make together. He can change his name but this is forever!
Why don't you make an appointment for your husband @ a piercing place...for a Prince Albert .
Maybe that would put it in perspective. Just tell him you want to know if it hurts. I mean that's not even in the same realm as a circ. & he can always take it out if he changes his mind- an option your son won't have.
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#27 of 59 Old 08-14-2005, 02:31 AM
 
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This is what I was told (Tricare Prime for the Air Force) - if we wanted it done, we had to have it done by the ped in the hospital. Or, well, it wasn't covered if we didn't do it in the hospital.
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#28 of 59 Old 08-14-2005, 02:39 AM
 
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my oldest son isn't circ'd because my ex wasn't and because i head the screaming coming from a room while doing a circ. i was in the navy also and vowed then and there after hearing that baby scream i would never do it. i was 19 and didn't have a clue how it was done, just knew that my babies would never be.

fast forward to my second son. my dh wanted it done. i flat out refused and told him it wouldn't be. we have 2 intact sons now and i wouldn't have it any other way. there is no way i would let my husband make a decision to cut off a part of my sons penis. for whatever reason!
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#29 of 59 Old 08-14-2005, 02:42 AM
 
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i also noticed in your intro that your dh will be gone for the delivery. there is your answer. you will be the one to make the ultimate decision. i would leave your son intact. would your husband insist on it being done after he sees him intact and happy and whole?
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#30 of 59 Old 08-14-2005, 08:17 AM
 
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Jill0905,



What worked on my DH? Pictures and video....pure and simple. Those images are worth a thousand words. Many men just don't realize that it is not "just a little snip".
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