When did you first learn about circ? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 52 Old 08-23-2005, 01:00 AM
 
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I don't remember when I first learned about circ. I do remember when my best friends was pregnant at 17 I tried to talk her out of circ'ing her son. That is the first time I ever gave circ a real thought. I am not sure how or why I knew what it was.
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#32 of 52 Old 08-23-2005, 02:40 AM
 
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I don't remember exactly when I heard about it, but I was pretty young. My folks were telling me about when I was born. My dad was in the Air Force then, so the birth was really cheap. My dad said my birth cost them $8, but if I had been a boy, I would have been circumcised and it would have been $11.

I don't remember when I found out exactly what being circ'd meant, but I know I had the notion that it was the thing to do, and no big deal.

When I was in high school in the mid-80's, my younger (male) cousin and I were staying with our grandparents. There was a story on some news show about circ. It talked about the pain and it being medically unnecessary. My cousin and I talked and decided that we wouldn't want to circ future kids. My cousin now has a son, but I don't know if he's circ'd or not, nor have I ever known if my cousin is, but I suspect he might not be.

When I told my dad we weren't going to circ if we had a boy, he said he was glad, because he'd always wished he was like his dad. OTOH, he still talks about how I would have cost $11 if I'd been a boy. If we ever get into a big discussion about it, I'll probably point him to info on it, but it doesn't seem all that urgent, as he's not rabidly for it.

So, anyway, at least on my dad's side, circ only lasted one generation. It's possible that his brother wasn't done - he was born a few years before my dad, who was born in 1944 - and likely that my cousin on that side wasn't - he was born in Germany and didn't live long. I think my mom's dad is intact, but I have no idea about her brother, who is the above-mentioned cousin's father. I'm proud to carry on the old tradition. :LOL
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#33 of 52 Old 08-23-2005, 03:32 AM
 
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I first learned about circ when I was 17. I am an only child so I did not know there was any difference.

I was taking a healthcare class with my boyfriend (now DH ) it was a class to become a CNT (certified nurse technician - the one who does the "dirty" work) and the instructor was teaching about how to do bed baths and washing and intact (or uncircumsiced as she called it) penis. She taught us about pulling the foreskin back and everything (this was for a nursing home). At the time, I was given the impression that it was gross. However, when the time came for me to clean one, I did not find it to be any more gross than cleaning a circumsiced penis. Honestly, at 17, I did not care for cleaning any old man's genitals. That was the worst and most depressing job I ever had. I lasted all of 3 mos before I said no more. Some of the things I witnessed left me in tears. -Sorry I got off topic. It took me back to those days
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#34 of 52 Old 08-23-2005, 07:53 AM
 
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#35 of 52 Old 08-23-2005, 08:27 AM
 
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- Posting from Ireland: I suppose the first time I heard of it was when I was about 9 or 10 in bible study class in my (catholic) junior school. - Perhaps there was a reference to a biblical character being circumcised.
So I went home and asked by mother what circumcision was, she explained that it was an operation a doctor had to do where they cut off the skin at the top of a little boy's 'tinkie' (her little word for penis) if it got sick - like the way my sister's appendix was sick so she had it taken out. Then she asked me where I'd heard about it. When I told her it was in bible class, she explained that it was something all little jewish boys had done. When I asked why and if all their 'tinkies' got sick, she said no, it was becuase of their tradition. When I asked why (being at the age where I questioned everything) she said she didn't know and maybe I should ask the teacher - which I did and she told me that long long ago God had commanded them to do it at the time becuase they lived out in the desert them where there was no water to wash that part of them. I accepted this at the time.
I never knew what a circed penis looked like because here there are no circs carried out whatsoever, except in the case of medical neccessity - such as phimosis or ballinaitis or similar serious infections.
I was shocked to discover in my teens that thse were carried out almost routinely in the U.S. often with no medical basis whatsoever. My poor mother was even more shocked to learn this becuase as a child her generation had always looked to the states as being at the forefront of so many things modern including medecine and tradition.
In fact only, recently I saw a relgious documentary which featued a jewish ritual circumcision. To my horror this was not carried out in a hospital or doctors office under aseptic conditions with a local aneastheic but it a synagogue by a religious leader.
Now, when a child cries my first instinct would be to pick him up, comfort him and try to put right what was causing the problem - feeding, changing etc. But this little boy screamed in agony the way one would imagine a pig screaming as it was being butchered (I don't mean for this compatrison to offend anyone just to give an idea of how excruciating this sounded for the poor little baby) and those around it took not the slightest notice of his screams until they had finished cutting him.
Afterwards, his grandfather proudly told the reporter that the little boy was only 8 days old.
I had to leave the room. I literally felt physically sick.
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#36 of 52 Old 08-23-2005, 12:11 PM
 
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I don't know, I think I was like 14 and I had a girlfriend and we were talking about sex. My mom heard us and said "Dear god, don't ever circ your sons, it's why American men are so bad in bed!" She was adamant and said that European men do it longer and have more fun.

Well this was enough to convince my teen hormones that it was a bad thing and stuck with that idea.

I only have a daughter but I have tried telling that to every girlfriend since. If only they'd believe me!
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#37 of 52 Old 08-23-2005, 01:11 PM
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When my mom taught us about sex and body parts she also explained circumsicion. I don't know what age I first heard it because I heard it so much. She was very against circumsising because she had a good doctor who educated her about it and she made sure to educate us about it too.
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#38 of 52 Old 08-23-2005, 07:21 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Frankly Speaking
It would be like going to the grocery store on a motorcycle.

Frank
*lol* I almost fell off my chair when I read that. Thanks.

The first time the difference between circ and intact came to my attention was when my husband and I started dating seriously *ahem* and I realized he was intact, which was new to me. I'd honestly never really thought about it one way or the other before that. (I don't have any brothers.) I just noticed that dh was more fun than previous experience had led me to believe guys could be in that respect.

Later, when I was pregnant, his mother explained that the hospital staff offered to have him circumsized when he was born and her mama instincts came roaring out and she told them if they tried to cut him there would be hell to pay. Good mama. I'd looked into it by that point and dh had made his feelings on the matter extremely clear when his nephew was circ'd, so she was pretty happy to hear that if we ever have a boy we wouldn't consider circ'ing.
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#39 of 52 Old 08-23-2005, 07:38 PM
 
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Like PPs, I learned about it when my first baby brother came home from the hospital, when I was 3.5. But I learned more about it when I was 7 and baby bro #2 came home. I remember it very vividly because the poor little guy's penis was so red & raw, and he cried every time he urinated the first few days he was home. It was awful. I kept asking why his penis hurt but his bellybutton didn't, and why did they have to cut him up like that?

Needless to say, when we got pregnant I was relieved to find that if we had a boy DH was adamantly opposed to circumcision (even though he'd been circ'd himself). He's an acupuncturist & alternative medicine practitioner and filled me in on all the medical info, which strengthened my resolve.

After DS was born, I did watch a couple of videos & saw photos of circumcisions, and it literally made me nauseous and very, very angry. Various friends and family members have commented that they think it's "weird" DS isn't circ'd, but we say -- "No, what's weird -- and cruel -- is routinely performing unnecessary surgery on a newborn infant with no anesthesia."

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#40 of 52 Old 08-29-2005, 09:14 PM
 
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I can't remember when I first learned about it, but, my Mom is an ER nurse, and that's where they do most of them, the parents bring them by most often, leave their baby and then go get a coffee. My mom says it's one of the worst things she's ever seen (keep in mind the things she MUST see) and that she would never ever have it done to a little boy. I only have sisters. I hope my DH comes around and agrees with me before we have kids.
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#41 of 52 Old 08-30-2005, 12:37 AM
 
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I don't remember the first time I heard about it - I guess it was probably in Sunday School. I knew the difference by high school, but I never really thought about what was involved. I started investigating when I started trying to have a baby and decided that I wouldn't have the baby circ'd if it was a boy. Well, it was a boy, and he is intact! Yay! Now, I am RABIDLY anti-circ and I educate people about it whenever I get the opportunity. I have brought at least five people over to the "dark side." :-) LOL!

On a side note, my DH is cut because MIL thinks boys MUST look like their fathers. My dad and brother are cut because mom thinks it's cleaner and "it just looks better."

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#42 of 52 Old 08-30-2005, 02:33 PM
 
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I learned about it when I was around 8 or 9 years old. We went to go visit my uncle and aunt and their new baby boy (he was maybe 2 or 3 days old). My mom went to change his diaper and I saw his poor little cut penis and said "mom, whats wrong with him?" to which she said something along the lines of oh hes' circed, they have to cut the foreskin of a boys penis so they don't get infections. I can't remember if I just said it or thought it but I remember at the moment thinking (may have said too) "I will never do that to my son"

I can still see it in my mind, watching them vaseline and guaze it and often think t myself "how is that easier than just wiping his penis when you do a change?" all these people who say its cleaner, easier, ect....its such b.s.

It would be many years before I was confronted with this again. I was 17 and in nursing school and they came in the room I was in to do a circ. Asked if I wanted to watch and I said no way. They pulled the curtian and I was having a conversation with my teacher and that childs blood curdling scream was something I never want to hear again. I again swore to myself I would never do that to my children......and thats when I became really passionate about it.

When I found out I was pregnant and carrying a son I told my DH right off, he will nto be circed. He gave me some arguements (DH is circed) but when he read the info he changed his mind. Not that it would have mattered to me, I would not have signed that paper. No way, no how.

My opinion and I tell this to everyone is, if you kids resent you for leaving them intact (ha yeah right) they can always have a circ done later. Not the other way around. Why not err on the safe side?
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#43 of 52 Old 09-04-2005, 02:08 PM
 
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I'm not sure how lod I was, something around 7 or 8. None of the men in my Dads side of the family had been circed. My brother, father, uncle, grandfather ect. They were also fairly comfortable with occasional nakedness in fron of children (changing into bathing suits, getting out of the shower ect. Nothing creepy!) But on a trip to visit my mothers family I saw one of my cousins naked and wondered what had happened to him. It looked "unfinished" My mom told me that they used to do that to all boys, but that my dad had been homebirthed so he had been left alone. She said that now she, and alot of other parents knew better but that some still thought it was nessisary including her family which was one of the reasons she didn't want to live around them.

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#44 of 52 Old 09-04-2005, 08:40 PM
 
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It was something I never really thought about much as a kid...I just didn't, KWIM? My DH is intact so to me, that was what a penis is supposed to look like. It may sound naive but I truly never realized that it was something most people thought you "had" to do or were "supposed" to do. I never thought like that....it seemed silly to me to cut off something arbitrarily and for no reason-and of course my DH thought it was absolutely unneccessary as well. So there was really no decision or discussion on the matter in our house-we already agreed.

I was an infant teacher at a child care center for nearly five years, and when I left the center we were at a point where all the little boys but one in the infant and toddler classes were uncirc'd. I thought that was great that more and more parents were realizing it was NOT something they had to do, and that everything they'd been conditioned to think about it being cleaner/better to circ were myths and lies!

And a funny story--we had on our birth plan that our son would not be circ'd, but on the first visit with our ped in the hospital after his birth, I don't think he'd had a chance to read all the way through the birth plan and was just going through the standard laundry list of things, mentioning that if he was going to be circ'd that they do it on the last day of the hospital stay--very matter of factly. When I said "We're not having him circ'd"....our ped's demeanor INSTANTLY changed. He pretty much came out and told me what his personal view on it, saying there is NO MEDICAL REASON for it, that it was completely unneccessary, and that it was great that we weren't circ'ing him. It made me feel great to hear that (not that I NEEDED validation, but it was just nice to hear him say it)! The same thing happened the next day when the on-call ped from the group dropped in to check him over again, and she also mentioned it in passing as far as the normal time table for having babies circ'd. When I mentioned to this different doctor (a new one in the group) the same thing about not having it done, I got an identical response to that of our regular ped, saying all the same stuff about there being no reason for it, only she went a step further and told us we'd literally "made her day" to know they weren't going to have to do that to our son!

I thought it was GREAT to hear this from both peds-I truly wish, though, that these peds would be more outspoken about what they really believe when it comes to circ'ing!
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#45 of 52 Old 09-04-2005, 10:36 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Karah R
I thought it was GREAT to hear this from both peds-I truly wish, though, that these peds would be more outspoken about what they really believe when it comes to circ'ing!
EXACTLY! Our ped was the same way. I mean, he was soooo tickled that we weren't doing it, but beforehand was all "it's completely up to you..."

WTF? Come on out and speak up! Does getting a MD obviate your common sense? Docs could influence so many parents, because a lot of parents will just do whatever the doctor thinks is best.
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#46 of 52 Old 09-11-2005, 12:33 AM
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Health class. I'll never forget it. I was 10 and in 6th grade. In our textbook were diagrams of flaacid penii and the intact one looked terrible, it was drawn to look disgusting. And I remember going "Ew that looks like a mealworm!"

Fastforward to the onset of sexual activity:

I didn't know that there were people who DIDN'T do it. I had a boyfriend from Austrailia and he was cut so I never thought other countries might not do it. I remember talking about it with my OB when I had my daughter (thought I was having a boy) and of COURSE I wanted the circumcision, I couldn't get the image of the diagram out of my head!

How I found out about intact penises? In Jan of 2004 I was in England and had a date set up with a guy that I was really into. And I was telling a friend how excited I was and she said, "Hey uh you know they don't circumcise right? Are you cool with that?" and I was like !!!!!!!!!!! WHAT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I sent a message to my best friend at the time (who is English and a guy) and I was like "ARE YOU CIRCUMCISED" and he's like "WHAT?! No one is!" And I was like "OH MY GOD [THE GUY IM GOING OUT WITH] TOMORROW ISNT CIRCUMCISED!!!" and then he set me straight. And later I found out that WOW not only does it not look like a mealworm, it's gods gift to women. The intact man I was with is also the reason my son isn't circumcised. When I said I was pro-circ he said something like "Oh so being pro-choice and respecting bodily integrity is only a right you extend to women?" Ouch.

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#47 of 52 Old 09-11-2005, 02:05 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Fi.
"Oh so being pro-choice and respecting bodily integrity is only a right you extend to women?" Ouch.
Great line and great point!

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#48 of 52 Old 09-11-2005, 02:13 AM
 
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I first heard of it when my baby brother was born. He was born with many problems and was considered too sick to have the surgery done. My mom never got around to doing it, I guess. I remember hearing her complain to my aunts that she had to pull the forekin back and clean it and he cried and squirmed so much.

When I was 19 she had my half-brother, and I saw him the day of his circ. I offered to change him and I had to remove the gauze and put ointment on it. It was *raw* and I'm sure it stung horribly when he peed. It was traumatic for me and I just could not understand putting a tiny baby through that.

Then after dating a few men who were circed I met my dh who was not. I had never really seen it natural before, other than my brother (and I don't remember that). When we talked about having kids we both agreed no circ. No way!

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#49 of 52 Old 09-11-2005, 02:58 AM
 
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I don't really know when I first learned about it, maybe high school? Both my father and my brother are circed as is my dh who was my first.

I clearly remember learning about circ during nursing school, and when I learned that the baby usually didn't have pain relief I started to question the procedure all together. It just seemed wrong to put such a helpless baby in pain for no good reason.

I did a lot of research on circ while pg with my first son. I mainly lurked on circ debate boards and realized those anti-circ people really know their stuff. I didn't have to twist dh's arm either, he said "sure" when I asked him if it was OK if we don't circ.
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#50 of 52 Old 05-06-2006, 04:45 AM
 
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I can't for the life of me remember when I first learned about it. But I heard of it in church and couldn't have told you what it was or where it occurred just that it happened to men/boys. I don't know if my dad (probably not, impoverished family in the 50's, homebirth and all) or any of my 4 brothers (probably a mixture) are/aren't. But what I can tell you is that sometime during pregnancy I became fully educated, and bawled after seeing the photos.

I never knew what either looked like (and I changed my brother's dipes he's 10 yrs younger). And I'm sure other kids dipes too. I can't even tell you if I ever noticed what the penis looked like then. But here is how I feel now. A cut penis looks "like a peeled banana" (I'm quoting someone from when I was prego with ds, but don't remember where from). I prefer sex with intact lots to play with, ya know? Sadly, so much fun goes away with the foreskin.

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#51 of 52 Old 05-06-2006, 05:23 AM
 
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I vaguely remember my mom giving my newborn brother a bath when I was 5. I asked what was wrong with him. I didn't know the word for penis so I just pointed to his bloody stump. I can't remember mom's response, but I said "I'm glad I'm a girl."

When I was around 11 or so circumcision got mentioned in health class. This would have been around 1987 or so. The text was very anti-circ and said that there was no benefits to it and was only done for religious or cultural reasons.

When I met my dh in high school it didn't even occur to me that he was circed. I thought that's just how penises were.

When the issue of circumcision came up when we were first pregnant I asked my dh's opinion about it. He said we should have it done. I said okay, for now. I figured when we found out the sex I would do some more research into it. I tend to over-research everything. We had a girl so I didn't bother with more research.

Now I definately know that we would leave our sons intact. They can make their own choices.

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#52 of 52 Old 05-06-2006, 03:18 PM
 
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I was 26 and pregnant with my son. I only learned of the whole thing of circumcision when I was researching how take care of a boy who wasn't circ for diaper changing. I only decided not to circ because my son's father wasn't circ. I didn't even really question circ or give it any thought even after I had first seen my ex as intact.

It was really odd because I was way into researching of medical things and never once looked up circumcision. My brother and cousins were circ . I even had worked at a daycare in my junior year changed diapers didn't even pay attention to even notice whether they were circ or not. Circumcision wasn't even discussed here it was like no thought to it at all or even with family members. I heard of talk of uncut but didn't know that meant not circ I thought it was another predjudice calling name for different races.
The only talk I really heard of circ was from seinfeld, the nanny, and cheers both for bris .

Like I remember it took me awhile after seeing my ex intact that I had seen one before on a movie which was not X rated and I thought it was circ but a different kind of circ.

Boy am I glad that my son's father was intact otherwise I would proably never questioned it and would have never put any thought into it until I had to face the circ diaper change and believe me I do not like bloody boo boos on the kids so I'm thinking if it wasn't for my son's father i would have circed a boy then regret it at dippy change then I proably would have researched or maybe I would have researched it.

As in saying until I had researched I had no clue what circ really was or what intact guys were.

I do know that after I learned the truth of circ that I am glad that my son never had to go through it.
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