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#1 of 77 Old 10-09-2005, 02:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
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from your dr or nurses when you told them you weren't going to circ?

My dr is First Nations (Native American in US talk) and so her reaction was like 'of course you're not going to', because it just isn't done in First Nations culture.

And the nurse said "Oh Good." Rofl although my reaction to the question was "omg no way no how no no no." So that may have influenced her a bit.
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#2 of 77 Old 10-09-2005, 03:35 AM
 
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The ped practically clicked his heels in glee. :LOL He's obviously bothered by it, but I hope someday he grows the intestinal fortitude to come out and BE anti-circ, not just that neutral "parent's choice" speech he gave beforehand.
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#3 of 77 Old 10-09-2005, 06:48 AM
 
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Strange look, followed by asking 5 more times over the end of the appt and the next two. Followed by telling me "it's not like you can let HIM decide." OH...ISN'T IT?
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#4 of 77 Old 10-09-2005, 09:15 AM
 
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puzzlement by the admissions chick (to my answer of, "good god, no" & looking at her like she was a crazy lady) & "thank god" from a postpartum nurse. susan
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#5 of 77 Old 10-09-2005, 09:46 AM
 
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With my first guy, our family doc (I LOVE HER) didn't even offer it either at the hospital of afterward. At the first office visit she saw we left him intact and she informed us that the vast majority of her patients were leaving their sons intact.

The nurses in the hospital were a different story though. They offered up circumcision repetedly like they were offering up afternoon tea with each of my sons.

With Gavin(my second) the ped who offered it up at the hospital said "good". I felt like asking, if it was so good we said no why did you offer at all?

So mixed responses for us.....docs good, nurses not so much.

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#6 of 77 Old 10-09-2005, 09:53 AM
 
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When the nurse asked me and I said "No' She said, surprised, "Ever?" I said "That's right." She gave a little "Hmmm!"
Neer heard a word about it from any doctor.
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#7 of 77 Old 10-09-2005, 10:39 AM
 
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Our ped was great, he actually discourage it Our midwife was amazing too, but of course she knew we were pretty crunchy.

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#8 of 77 Old 10-09-2005, 10:45 AM
 
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I got two very different reactions from the hospital when I had my DD 7½ years ago and when I had DS's 3 & 3.

When I had DD I knew I was having a girl but they INSISTED that I had to sign the consent form or decline it. I was in LABOR and in pain but the nurse kept after me. I told her repeatedly I didn't need to sign it since we were having a girl, and she kept harping on me. Finally in anger and frustration (and pain!) I screamed at her that I wouldn't sign it and that they certainly wouldn't get consent from ME to cut my son. DH asked if he could sign it (mostly out of curiosity) and the nurse told him he couldn't because until we walked out of the hospital he had no rights to the baby. She THEN went on to lecture ME about how circumcision is the best thing and how I was doing an injustice to my child but NOT cutting him..... and then turned around and told my DH that as soon as we left the hospital he could drop me off at home and take the baby to a urologist and have him cut right then and there and he wouldn't "need HER permission to do it." OMG I cannot even tell you how angry I was. AFTER I had the baby and went home I wrote a letter of complaint to the hospital (naming the nurse) and to my insurance company. I got a letter of apology from the hospital... yeah, big whoop.

When I had DS2 DH and I agreed that we wouldn't circ. It wasn't even an issue. When I went in and they asked me about the consent form I told them that WE were not giving consent. DS2 was cared for by a neonatologist in the hospital as he was 4 weeks early (but was fine and roomed in with me the whole time). At one point she said something like "Well, after he's circ'd I'll..." and I stopped her dead in her tracks and said "He's NOT getting circ'd!!!!" I swear she got choked up and came over to the bed and HUGGED me and told me "You've made a wonderful decision!" That same time in the hospital when my OB came to visit she also made a comment about "when he's circ'd" and I told HER that he was not getting cut she also smiled at me and said happily "Oh that's so great!" MANY nurses asked us repeatedly "When he is getting circ'd again?" and I repeatedly told them "NEVER... and if he is you all will have a law suit on your hands the likes of which will pay for my GREAT-Grandchildren to attend college!" That shut people up pretty quick.

When I had DS3 he was in the NICU and I'd have to say that 99% of the nurses in there are adamently against circ. So when I told them that Ben wasn't going to be circ'd they were thrilled I actually talked the people with the baby next to Ben into NOT circ'ing their little boy!! I was so happy Unfortuantely I wasn't able to convince the people with the baby on the other side of Ben Oh well, can't win them all. However the nurses did tell me that since they often have parents in there for so long "with their ear" that many many more boys leave the NICU intact than that leave the regular nursery intact. I thought that was VERY interesting!!!

~ Patti
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#9 of 77 Old 10-09-2005, 10:46 AM
 
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I got a lot of "good for you" and "a lot of people are choosing not to these days, there really isn't any reason to do anyway" not once did any healthcare worker ever say anythink (even 6 years ago) negative about my choice.

Unassisted birthing, atheist, poly, bi WOHM to 4 wonderful, smart homeschooling kids Wes (14) Seth (7) Pandora Moonlilly (2) and Nevermore Stargazer (11/2012)  Married to awesome SAH DH.

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#10 of 77 Old 10-09-2005, 11:37 AM
 
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Nobody ever said anything about not circ'ing DS. I had it in my birth plan that we weren't circ'ing, and nobody (nurses, doctors) ever brought it up.

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#11 of 77 Old 10-09-2005, 11:40 AM
 
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The ped at the hospital said there aren't many benifits anyway , so is the dad circed (I said yes), oh well you can always do it later.
The ped was not American, I believe he was from India, probably not circed himself but he did seem disappointed we weren't going to let him cut our baby. I don't see why he had to ask me at all it was already in my chart that I had declined the wonderful : offer of mutilating my newborn son.

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#12 of 77 Old 10-09-2005, 12:35 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mewsin
My dr is First Nations (Native American in US talk) and so her reaction was like 'of course you're not going to', because it just isn't done in First Nations culture.
I'm glad to hear that where you live, Native Americans do not circumcise. I live in upper Michigan near a Potawatomi reservation (with HUGE gaming casino complex, I might add) and most of them circumcise as far as I know.

Our local hospital where most people in our community go, including moms from the reservation, has around a 95% circumcision rate. I have cared for several native American babies in my employment and they were all circumcised, including a 4.5# preemie.
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#13 of 77 Old 10-09-2005, 12:59 PM
 
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My midwife and doctor both know me enough to know that I wasn't going to let that happen to my DS. Both asked in a very neutral tone, just to be certain they weren't second guessing me I'm sure. No one has ever tried to convince me otherwise.
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#14 of 77 Old 10-09-2005, 01:36 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sheacoby
The ped was not American, I believe he was from India, probably not circed himself but he did seem disappointed we weren't going to let him cut our baby. I don't see why he had to ask me at all it was already in my chart that I had declined the wonderful : offer of mutilating my newborn son.
$300.00 maybe?



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#15 of 77 Old 10-09-2005, 01:56 PM
 
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Before we knew that dd#2 was a girl, the nurse at our former ped's office brought it up. I told her that I would not be circing a boy and she freaked out. I got a long diatribe about how her dh had not been circed and it had scarred him for life b/c he was so humiliated when other boys saw him in the locker room that he "had to" have it done as an adult. That was not the only reason, but it was one of the reasons that we eventually changed peds (that nurse was always giving me grief about my parenting choices -- bf, cosleeping, diet...).
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#16 of 77 Old 10-09-2005, 02:12 PM
 
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I played dumb when the question of circ came up just to see what they were telling parents who were "on the fence". The ped who was subbing for our fam doctor that day was recently voted by his peers as being the top ped in our area of the state. Anyway, when he asked if we were going to circ I said, "Well, I don't know. As far as I know there's no real benefit. Is that true?" He said he had four boys and two were circed and two weren't. Oddly to me, the younger two were circ'ed and the older two weren't. (They all have the same mother and father fwiw.) The docotr said there are studies on both sides that show an advantage, but that it's so negligible that it really should just be up to the parents' preference. Then he went on to say that one advantage of circ'ing was that the bathroom stays a lot cleaner when your child is learning to use the toilet. Not as much "dribbling".

How sad that that would be offered as a reason to do surgery

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#17 of 77 Old 10-09-2005, 02:15 PM
 
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No reaction really. They acted like not circ was the norm.

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#18 of 77 Old 10-09-2005, 02:40 PM
 
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my boys were born 9 weeks early. Circ was only mentioned once. I was told by one of the neonatologists that if we wanted it done it would be done shortly before discharge. We explained that we would not be having it done. He made a note on the chart and it was never mentioned again.

my ped has never really talked about it one way or the other, except for once a year or so ago when he asked what we were doing in the way of care. I told him that I had instructed the boys to retract themselves in the bath or shower as far as they were comfortable and let the water run on it for a moment or two. He smiled, said, "perfect" and that was the end of the discussion.
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#19 of 77 Old 10-09-2005, 03:33 PM
 
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I had a hospital birth and when I was checking in the nurse saw the "no circ" on my admission forms and ripped up the consent sheet. She said she was glad that we weren't doing it and wished she had known more about it before her son was born.

The day I was checking out the midwife buzzed me on the intercom and asked if I wanted him circ'd, I shouted back "hell no!!!" loud enough for everybody at the nurses station to hear.

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#20 of 77 Old 10-10-2005, 10:58 AM
 
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If doctors or nurses solicited you to have your son circed, you can speak up and hopefully change their behavior! They are soliciting for (cosmetic) surgery, which is unethical and is misconduct. You can send letters of complaint about this to

The CEO of the hospital (even if it didn't happen in the hospital, find out where the offending doctor has privileges and send it to those hospitals)

The hospital's risk manager

The head of the department (OB, peds, emergency, etc.)

The state medical board

The Joint Commission on Accreditation of Healthcare Organizations (link )

Complaint Form

Speak up!

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#21 of 77 Old 10-10-2005, 12:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by paminmi
I'm glad to hear that where you live, Native Americans do not circumcise. I live in upper Michigan near a Potawatomi reservation (with HUGE gaming casino complex, I might add) and most of them circumcise as far as I know.

Our local hospital where most people in our community go, including moms from the reservation, has around a 95% circumcision rate. I have cared for several native American babies in my employment and they were all circumcised, including a 4.5# preemie.
That's sad to hear really. I know of another girl on another board who's dh is FN and he was circ'd but against his parent's wishes and against tradition. And they are from the U.S.
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#22 of 77 Old 10-10-2005, 06:31 PM
 
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Ours was an adoption situation but we were at the hospital by the time DS was 12 hours old and I roomed in with him. If his birth mom had insisted, they would have done it
As it was, the nurse came in and asked if I was set on having him circ'd there and I said I would hate it if he were circ'd. She smiled and said, "good; we just won't mention it to A (bmom) then since we'd have to have her permission to do it. They also did no Vit K or Hep B at birth so maybe it's just a more progressive hospital than I'm used to.

OTOH, although she never ever even touched his penis, our GP asked at every wbc whether we would be circing till the 18 mo when she didn't even take his dipe off; just asked if he was still descended. : I said "ewwww; no WAY" every time, but she still asked. (to be fair it was a total of 4 visits; I tend to procrastinate wbcs )
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#23 of 77 Old 10-10-2005, 08:32 PM
 
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in 1982 - when I had DD & did not know she was a DD ...
I said NO WAY... DD's father was intact... I thought the Labor nurses were gonna fall over from shock.. AS I'm in hard labor & they try again to sign Circ papers - & I did use my hard labor to my advantage to throw a few swear words around :LOL .

in 2003 - with DS... I has already wrote NO Circ in big RED letters on my papers so when Nurse comes in (DS is 2 days) & says the Circ'ing Dr is in today & when did we want DS to go in... I thought DH (circ'ed ) was gonna go ballistic on her....
He loudly starts asking her why is she even asking us when it's been clear since we walked into the place that DS was to be intact & if they EVEN touch his penis that we will own this hospital..... I love that man

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#24 of 77 Old 10-10-2005, 09:03 PM
 
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Originally Posted by polka123
I thought DH (circ'ed ) was gonna go ballistic on her....
He loudly starts asking her why is she even asking us when it's been clear since we walked into the place that DS was to be intact & if they EVEN touch his penis that we will own this hospital..... I love that man
for your dh!!!!!!!!

OUR DAUGHTERS ARE PROTECTED SHOULDN'T OUR SONS BE TOO! :
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#25 of 77 Old 10-10-2005, 09:31 PM
 
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The on-call ped at our hospital asked if we we're going to do it. My DH said no, she said "good, this boy's been thru enough"
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#26 of 77 Old 10-10-2005, 10:32 PM
 
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When my first ds was born I the ped came in to look at him. She asked if we were going to have him circed and when I said "no", she said, "That's good, there are no medical reasons to have him circed". MIL was sitting in the room, so she heard what was said and replied that she had never seen a penis that wasn't circed.

With my second ds, I think the ped was a little surprised when I said no to his question. He looked at me and said, "No? You don't want him circed?". I just repeated, "no", and then he left.

No one ever tried to talk me into it, but just the fact that they even asked bothers me. :
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#27 of 77 Old 10-10-2005, 11:45 PM
 
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after i birthed my daughter and declined the hepb vax- the nurse belittleed my decisions and askled if she would have been a boy if i would have had him circed.

l, <>< wife to my sweetie, proud mama to 3 cubs, 2 who clw & 1 that i i ep for . baby was evicted early by induction due to severe pre-e/hellp syndrome
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#28 of 77 Old 10-11-2005, 01:27 AM
 
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Our ped was AWESOME about it and confessed that she still feels guilty 8 years after the birth of her son that she circ'd him.

The nurses at our hospital kept asking over and over and over again when we wanted him circ'd. I finally told one of the charge nurses that one of the reasons DS was not allowed out of my sight was my fear that he would "accidentally" be circ'd.

In my experience, the doctors were totally happy about not circ'ing but the nurses were slightly appalled.

secular classical-ish mama to an incredible 5 year old DS and an amazing 6 year old DD.
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#29 of 77 Old 10-11-2005, 10:21 AM
 
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After I started reading more about circ on debate boards, I'm surprised at our hospital experience. I live in the Midwest, andI suspect the vast majority of babies in our region are circ'ed. My twin sons were born in 1994.

While I was pg we talked to our family doctor (who would be the boys' ped). DH and I had already decided that we weren't interested in circumcising, but we asked our doctor if there were any medical reasons to do it. He made vague references to UTIs and STDs, but said that those reasons weren't compelling. I've often wondered if he would have tried to talk us out of it if we had wanted to circ.

Because I was pg with twins, I alternated visits between our beloved FP and an OB. The subject of circ never came up in the OB's office.

I don't remember anyone asking about circ in the hospital, though I was pretty out of it for the first couple of days (HELLP toxemia and an emergency C-section).

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#30 of 77 Old 10-11-2005, 11:38 AM
 
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It never came up with Charlie. Not once. We weren't offered it or anything. At the hospital he was born at you have to ASK for it to be done.
However, we DID get an "info" pamphlet on it, which listed ALL the risks (including amputation and death) and concluded that there were NO discernible medical benefits and it was not recommended.
Can't really ask for much more can I?
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