Which is worse - to be circ'ed or not breastfed? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 126 Old 10-25-2005, 04:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Discuss amongst yourselves.

If it were either/or - either the child is circumcised, but is breastfed, or he is intact, but not breastfed - which would be worse? This is not a real-life situation for me, but I am curious to see what people think. In a sense, which is the worse injury to the child?

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#2 of 126 Old 10-25-2005, 04:15 PM
 
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#3 of 126 Old 10-25-2005, 04:19 PM
 
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Circumcision is WAY worse. You're cutting off a healthy functioning piece of skin. I'm a huge breastfeeding activist and I don't think people should do anything but (unless medically needed), but if I could convince someone to not circ by telling them they didn't have to breastfeed, I would.

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#4 of 126 Old 10-25-2005, 04:20 PM
 
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wow. that was atcually a shock to see the first answer. thought it would be the other way.
personally, cut and BF would be my option. no FF.
isn't it nice that we don't have to choose?
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#5 of 126 Old 10-25-2005, 04:28 PM
 
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To me it would be worse to not circ and FF. I think the potential life long health risks to babies raised on Formula are FARRRRRRRR worse than the risks of circ'g ever could be. JMSHO

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#6 of 126 Old 10-25-2005, 04:34 PM
 
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I'd choose to breastfeed!!
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#7 of 126 Old 10-25-2005, 04:41 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Silvercrest79
To me it would be worse to not circ and FF. I think the potential life long health risks to babies raised on Formula are FARRRRRRRR worse than the risks of circ'g ever could be. JMSHO
I agree. I'm glad I would never have to make a choice like that anyway!

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#8 of 126 Old 10-25-2005, 04:43 PM
 
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#9 of 126 Old 10-25-2005, 04:47 PM
 
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As much as I'd hate it, I would circ before I'd ff. In the long run, I think the child would be better off. Phew! Glad I don't have to choose, though.
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#10 of 126 Old 10-25-2005, 05:00 PM
 
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I am really trying to decide what I'd do and I just can't. It would physically make me ill to mutilate my child, I can't even imagine my son having to go thru that. It also would break my heart not being able to breastfeed my child, I can't even really wrap my brain around it. These two things are things I feel so strongly about. I am thankful so thankful I don't have to choose.
What if my son was the one that died from being circed or had a full amputation or got gangreen (it happens and it's horrid)? What if my son was fed tainted formula and died? I would have to really research and figure out which really is more dangerous. Again though thank goodness I don't have to choose.

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#11 of 126 Old 10-25-2005, 05:19 PM
 
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Circing is worse. It's permanent mutilation.
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#12 of 126 Old 10-25-2005, 05:27 PM
 
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Well, I think you're trading known risks for unknown risks either way. The odds of dying from circ in this country are very, very low - as are the odds of dying from ff. But both happen. And both have lifelong impacts - but no one can tell you ahead of time what those are going to be for your individual child.

Yikes, I'm not going to choose on this one.

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#13 of 126 Old 10-25-2005, 05:38 PM
 
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I can`t choose either, what a nightmare!

I think if it was a spur of the moment thing like if they were going to circ him right then against my will unless I ff, I would probably ff. All of my extended family except for my brothers and me were ff, and they are super healthy, so maybe if you`re not allergy prone and generally pretty healthy maybe ff wouldn`t be so bad as much as it pains me to say that. A foreskin can never be replaced and starting out life with excruciating, violating pain can`t be undone either.

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#14 of 126 Old 10-25-2005, 05:42 PM
 
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Whew tough one is right....I feel really, really strongly about both but I have to say that I know lots of kids who were ff and are doing alright but every single baby boy who was circed is damaged sexually forever. So I think I would have to say I would ff before circ.

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#15 of 126 Old 10-25-2005, 05:47 PM
 
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tough call! i would have to choose intact and ff.
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#16 of 126 Old 10-25-2005, 06:00 PM
 
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I've seen this question come up a few times on differant AP boards and everytime I see it I have to wonder why.
Has anyone ever really been put in this position? How could this question ever actually come up IRL?
Breastfeeding and gential integrity are both extremely important issues, and I can't see any value in weighing one against the other. What can this question do but cause division in the AP community?

Maybe one of you has some insight here that I'm lacking...but I just can't help but wonder what we're actually doing when we ask this question.

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#17 of 126 Old 10-25-2005, 06:03 PM
 
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I'd wish for a girl!


I'd breastfeed.

Horrible things happen in both scenarios, and both have lifelong implications; I would do my child a disservice by either circ'ing or ff'ing. But I believe the bigger danger is to deny breastmilk.
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#18 of 126 Old 10-25-2005, 06:07 PM
 
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I'd rather see a baby formula fed than genitally mutilated. I am a huge breastfeeding advocate, but cutting on a baby is far worse than feeding him formula, IMHO. Breastmilk is ideal, keeping all of your body parts is a birthright.

Not breastfeeding is not a violation of human rights. Cutting a baby with little or no pain relief for cosmetic reasons is. Again, IMHO.
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#19 of 126 Old 10-25-2005, 06:15 PM
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I've thought about this before, believe it or not. If I had to choose one or the other (and thank goodness that isn't the case), I would definitely leave my son intact and formula feed.

Of course I think bf'ing is extremely important, but the consequences of ff'ing don't even come close to losing a functional part of the penis. A person MAY get asthma or allergies. He MAY have intestinal problems. He MAY even end up with something worse. But when a boy is circumcised, he ALWAYs loses his foreskin. He ALWAYS has a circ scar. He ALWAYS has diminished sexual pleasure. And the consequences can even get worse. Painful erections and so on.

That being said, I would bottle-nurse in a very AP way.
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#20 of 126 Old 10-25-2005, 06:24 PM
 
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I would breastfeed. I have 5 older brothers, 3 of which are circ, and they are all well adjusted and great brothers.
While I agree there are drawbacks from circ, I don't feel they are that critical in most cases. I have not read any of the horror stories yet though (trying to stay away from them until after baby is born so I am not agitated).
I've also been around a great deal of ff babies, all who were prone to sickness, generally unhealthy and had parents who were not very attached.

I think bfing is as important to parental bonding as it is to the childs health.
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#21 of 126 Old 10-25-2005, 06:27 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Medusa
I've seen this question come up a few times on differant AP boards and everytime I see it I have to wonder why.
Has anyone ever really been put in this position? How could this question ever actually come up IRL?
Breastfeeding and gential integrity are both extremely important issues, and I can't see any value in weighing one against the other. What can this question do but cause division in the AP community?

Maybe one of you has some insight here that I'm lacking...but I just can't help but wonder what we're actually doing when we ask this question.

That's what I thought too. Since I can't possibly think of a situation where a person would have to make that choice, what do we gain by discussing it?


FTR, I'm deeply saddened when parents choose to circumcise, and I'm deeply saddened when parents choose to ff.

If the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

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#22 of 126 Old 10-25-2005, 07:26 PM
 
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Interesting question! However, the fact remains that many people who call themselves AP or say they practice natural parenting, do in fact circ their sons. I have one neighbor who I have been talking to since she had her second baby about 6 months ago. She describes herself as AP and subscribes to natural parenting. No CIO, no VAX, BFon demand...but guess what? Yeah you are right, she circed her son! So, I guess some people find it less important.

Personally, I really enjoyed BF'ing and there is no doubt about the lifelong benefits. However, there are lifelong benefits to having a foreskin. So I would have to vote for no circ. I can barely watch the pictures let alone the videos. The thought of my son going through something like that would just break my heart, whereas the thought of my son with a bottle in his mouth isn't as heart wrenching.

Lise
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#23 of 126 Old 10-25-2005, 07:29 PM
 
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would rather ff

btw i breastfeed and dont circ
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#24 of 126 Old 10-25-2005, 07:45 PM
 
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Well I find myself in a unique situation with this question... probably.

My first DS, my first child, had a very rare and potentially fatal blood disorder, neutropenia. He was circ'd because we had NO idea that he had this blood disorder. Had we known we wouldn't have circ'd him because even a tiny little infection could have killed him becuase his immune system was all but nonexistent.

Thing is that same son ended up in the hospital at 7 weeks old with pneumonia. They told us he wouldn't survive because his immune system couldn't handle it. He did survive though. They told us he wouldn't live to see his first birthday because something as simple as strep throat could kill him. He did survive though. After his 1st b'day DH and I met with all his specialists together (4 in total) and they ALL agreed that BF saved DS's life. They said the ONLY immunities he got were from the breastmilk he drank and that it saved him when he had the pnuemonia and kept him healthy enough to survive his first year of life. As it turned out when he hit about 7 or 8 months his white cell counts started very slowly climbing. By the time he was 12 months they were just below what is considered normal (anything over 1200 is normal and his count was at about 900 - 1000).

I also have a child that almost died on formula when we switched her over to it at 9 months. Really really really long story but the short of it is that at this point I consider formula to be "artificial baby POISON" and it will NEVER touch my babies lips.

So if given the choice I would cut and BF... because for my family and my children it could literally be a life and death decision. Circ has it's risks and dangers, and occasionally deaths, but in my case the risk would be considerably LESS than if I chose to FF my child.

Thank God we don't have to chose because I have two intact, BF, co-sleeping sons

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#25 of 126 Old 10-25-2005, 07:48 PM
 
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to me it would being circ'd.

ETA- just wanted to clarify I would FF in a heartbeat over circ.

Blissful Mama to DD-(5), DS-(6) and someone new due in November!
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#26 of 126 Old 10-25-2005, 08:09 PM
 
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I saw this posted earlie today and skipped over it cuz I didn't know how to answer. I still can't choose. The idea of either is awful.
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#27 of 126 Old 10-25-2005, 08:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Medusa
I've seen this question come up a few times on differant AP boards and everytime I see it I have to wonder why.
Has anyone ever really been put in this position? How could this question ever actually come up IRL?
Breastfeeding and gential integrity are both extremely important issues, and I can't see any value in weighing one against the other. What can this question do but cause division in the AP community?

Maybe one of you has some insight here that I'm lacking...but I just can't help but wonder what we're actually doing when we ask this question.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nd_deadhead
That's what I thought too. Since I can't possibly think of a situation where a person would have to make that choice, what do we gain by discussing it?
I didn't mean to agitate people by asking this question. I was not trying to cause division within the community.

I recently read about a woman whose husband did not want her to breastfeed (she did want to), and he wanted to circ the baby, but she didn't want to. So I thought, would it be worth the trade? Should she give up breastfeeding to save the baby from being circumcised? So it does have real-life application.

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#28 of 126 Old 10-25-2005, 08:50 PM
 
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Originally Posted by wendy1221
I saw this posted earlie today and skipped over it cuz I didn't know how to answer. I still can't choose. The idea of either is awful.
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#29 of 126 Old 10-25-2005, 10:20 PM
 
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not a drop of formula touched my ds's lips, but i would ff before i would cut him.

btw, not a drop of breastmilk touched my lips... my mom was scared to breastfeed and only managed it with the last child. of course, i don't know any babies (or haven't heard any stories) who have died from formula or been permanently damaged so maybe that's why i am making this choice...

Ange. Mama to boys. Yup. All Boys. All Intact. A bunch of other NFL, crunchy credentials too.
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#30 of 126 Old 10-25-2005, 10:22 PM
 
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Leave intact and formula feed.
And hope for the best when the breastfeeding benefits are needed most.
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