They did it again. They actually did it again. - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#31 of 47 Old 01-09-2006, 06:07 AM
 
Daisyuk's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: UK
Posts: 1,061
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Is it possible to find out which doctor did it and make a complaint?
Daisyuk is offline  
#32 of 47 Old 01-09-2006, 07:15 AM
 
Mommiska's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 5,596
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh, Splash - I am so so sorry. I am sitting here with tears in my eyes. Your poor, poor nephew.

I wonder, though, if it wouldn't be a good idea to get in touch with one of the lawyers who specialise in this kind of case and find out what your nephew will need to know, so he will be able to sue his circumciser in the future.

Once you have this information, would it be possible to sit down with your SIL and give her the information about possible consequences of too-tight circs, along with the information she needs to sue the doctor who did this?

There is a good possibility she won't be open to this information at all (so you could then keep it for your nephew, once he's old enough to understand). But it is the doctor here who is beyond negligent and who needs to be stopped.

Parents who do this, by and large, do not realise what they are doing. Yes, they have cut their child to suit their own aesthetic tastes (which is sick in and of itself), but they don't want to (or realise that they quite possibly are going to) ruin their child's future sex life.

I know it's asking a lot of you. And I think I would have a hard time sitting down calmly with parents who could do that to their child. But if you could make your sil understand what has just been done to her son and actually get her to take action against the doctor who did this, not only would you help your nephew, but you might actually make the doctor stop and fully inform parents about the possible consequences of a re-circ, instead of just going ahead and butchering the next child whose parents don't like the way his circ looks.
Mommiska is offline  
#33 of 47 Old 01-09-2006, 10:25 AM
 
bunniemunch's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 114
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
as sick as the doc was who did the extra tight circ, the parents are as much to blame as the doc.


poor lil boy
bunniemunch is offline  
#34 of 47 Old 01-09-2006, 11:35 AM
 
nd_deadhead's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 2,152
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
Just when you think you've seen it all...

Splash, my heart goes out to you and your nephew. And I would really like to strangle both the idiot parents AND the doctor who agreed to this. He must have thought he hit the jackpot, getting to do it again. Do you suppose they had to pay for the second one out of pocket? I can't imagine insurance paying for it twice.

I'm curious too about Grandma's reaction. At least you have her IRL to cry with.

I sure hope this poor little guy is one of the lucky ones who doesn't suffer his entire life for his parents' selfishness.

If the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

nd_deadhead is offline  
#35 of 47 Old 01-09-2006, 11:37 AM
 
dynamohumm6's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 2,930
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've said it before, and I'll say it again...people that get their son's circed because THEY don't like the way it looks disgust me. Unless you are the one that OWNS it, or is having sex with it, your opinion on it's appearance DOES NOT COUNT.

God, this is just one of the most disgusting things I've ever read. Did the father want it done again because the baby still wasn't acting like a real man or something?
:
dynamohumm6 is offline  
#36 of 47 Old 01-09-2006, 01:21 PM
 
Leiahs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,692
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
OMG. There are not words to describe my horror. Knowing this feels so much worse than when I found out my new own little nephew would be circ'd.

I think if *I* were this poor little boy, I would have just lost my will to live, and let myself curl up and die. Seriously. ---HOW--- could these "parents" DO such a thing to him, TWO TIMES in EIGHT DAYS?!?!?

Poor, sweet innocent baby boy.

SAHM to Melinda (Oct '03), Jacob (Aug '05),  Alex (Apr '08), and baby.gif Malcolm (Sept 29, '11)

Leiahs is offline  
#37 of 47 Old 01-09-2006, 02:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
splash's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 492
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
The first time it was done by the OB, the second time by the pediatrician.
The OB left a LOT of skin. I myself was concerned about it because I know Jess, and I didn't think she would take care of it properly and he would get horrible adhesions.
I don't know what transpired to make them do it again. They were at the pediatrician, and he mentioned it. I don't know if they asked, or he offered, or what. All I know is that they removed the rest of the foreskin.
The cut itself looks good (I mean it's a clean and dry cut, not a pretty one) and it doesn't appear infected. But it is a tight circumcision, which is what they wanted in the beginning.
And I am pissed at them, and the ped. But I am also a bit miffed at the OB. I mean, she should have ASKED them what they 'wanted' to avoid having this done. But I am guessing that most parents do it the first time and get over it if it's not how they wanted it. I don't think too many people go back a second time. Zach is just lucky I guess. But, if the OB had done it tight in the first place, or at least tightER, then it would have been a one time thing.
I don't know what to think. And yeah, I am PISSED at Jess for allowing this, but I can't believe that it's all her. Mike probably convinced her how glad he is not to have a foreskin and how Zachary will hate having one and he'll have all these problems because of it. So, she caved.
My MIL is beyond pissed with them, but what can she do? We can cut them out of our lives and never see that baby again... and not be able to protect him if he needs it, or we can tell her how disgusting she is and how horrible what she has done is, and then move on and have a relationship with him. If there wasn't a baby involved, we would probably cut ties with them. But there IS a baby involved, our nephew and Charlie's cousin. And it's not his fault. Cutting ties is not going to uncircumcise him. And maybe once Mike is gone (less than two weeks!!) we will be able to appeal to her common sense and love for her child and get her to be normal. Right now, she is calling us a LOT with nursing problems... and right now, getting her to breastfeed is more important than airing our true feelings about what she did to Zachary. If we burn bridges, we lose the opportunity to help and intervene in other ways. Like FINALLY convincing Jess last night to let me inspect Zachary's car seat (Mike wouldn't let me, I had to do it behind his back. He wanted to feel like a 'man' so he wouldn't even let me install it when we were at the hospital. Glad I checked last night because he had done a horrible job). So really... we cannot be advocates for the baby if we are not even involved in his life. And I'm thinking the kid is gonna need all the advocates he can get.
splash is offline  
#38 of 47 Old 01-09-2006, 02:51 PM
 
TigerTail's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: I'm finally here!
Posts: 9,343
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
my prayers are with you and jean to be strong for this boy. the carseat thing is making me ill in itself. maybe someday they will realize how lucky they are to have you in their lives; but for sure zachary will.

(i wish your whole story & zach's could be stickied somewhere in toto; it is an eloquent story & the full horror is really hard-to-digest unless you can read the threads consecutively. maybe his story will help others.)
TigerTail is offline  
#39 of 47 Old 01-09-2006, 05:39 PM
 
AntoninBeGonin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Northwest suburbs, Illinois.
Posts: 3,192
Mentioned: 8 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by splash
Like FINALLY convincing Jess last night to let me inspect Zachary's car seat (Mike wouldn't let me, I had to do it behind his back. He wanted to feel like a 'man' so he wouldn't even let me install it when we were at the hospital. Glad I checked last night because he had done a horrible job). .
Well the only good thing about this thread is the husband is really making me appreciate my Matt.

I'd have gotten divorced long before now if I were in your SIL's shoes. Oh well.

I agree with you. Keeping in touch for the sake of Zachary is the best thing for him. I bet they'll want to start spanking around 4 months, so maybe you can be there to offer more GD alternatives. I'm sure she appreciates the breastfeeding help, too.

That poor, poor little baby.

~Nay

Reneé, 34 year old mom to Antonin 8/04 and Arianna 9/06  (6 weeks) 5/08. Married to Matt since 6/03 .  
AntoninBeGonin is offline  
#40 of 47 Old 01-09-2006, 08:54 PM
 
keptwoman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 43
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Im sick with horror! The sexual problems this poor boy might have later because of his parents
He is a lucky boy to have you and Jean in his life.
keptwoman is offline  
#41 of 47 Old 01-09-2006, 09:07 PM
 
ThomasL's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 343
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh, wait...I have...a woman on one of the debate boards had her son cut THREE times.

POSITIVELY OBSCENE.

Jen[/QUOTE]


I would not be too surprised if the 2 women are related.At least the woman from the other board was remorseful about it.I am totally disgusted though for what happened to Zac.Why would any decent parent put their newborn through it twice.I hope the entire practice of unnecessary circ becomes illegal or atleast circumcisers get sued out of their proffession so that all docs will stop circing to prevent being sued as well.
ThomasL is offline  
#42 of 47 Old 01-09-2006, 10:23 PM
 
minkajane's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Columbus, OH
Posts: 5,282
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
I saw a man on another board who had had himself cut SIX times. Yes, it was his own decision but UGH, SIX???? He said he was planning on being cut even tighter.

Mandy, )O(  Proud mommy of Taylor (1/6/05) jammin.gifand Abigail (4/21/11) slinggirl.gif
Loving wife of my gamer boy Michael. modifiedartist.gifBlog link in my profile! ribboncesarean.gif
minkajane is offline  
#43 of 47 Old 01-09-2006, 10:34 PM
 
InDaPhunk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: somewhere new (MD)
Posts: 762
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by splash
Right now, she is calling us a LOT with nursing problems...
Wonder why that is ?


Poor kid .
InDaPhunk is offline  
#44 of 47 Old 01-09-2006, 10:35 PM
 
homebirthing's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 2,732
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yeah, I *wonder* why she is having breastfeeding problems.

I am sitting here in complete silence grieving for this little boy and his future wife. It makes me so sick. The carseat thing...that just makes me shudder.

wife - mother - midwife

CIRCUMCISION

The more you know, the worse it gets.

homebirthing is offline  
#45 of 47 Old 01-09-2006, 10:39 PM
 
No2Circ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 279
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Quirky
That f-ing SUCKS.

I am so sorry for this poor little guy. And may the unethical doctors who circed a newborn TWICE burn in hell.

:
No2Circ is offline  
#46 of 47 Old 01-09-2006, 10:49 PM
 
grypx831's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Crazyville
Posts: 721
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I just threw up in my mouth a little. That's the most awful thing I've heard in awhile...
grypx831 is offline  
#47 of 47 Old 01-10-2006, 12:14 AM
 
gardenmommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: blooming where I'm planted
Posts: 4,223
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Splash, I have been following your story, and I commend your efforts to protect your nephew.

I must say, I agree with you. A terrible thing has been done to this child, and it is tempting to blast the perpetrators with all the venom you can muster. However, that is rarely a productive course of action. I think it is much wiser to proceed as you have suggested. You never know when what you say will come back to have an effect in someone's life, positive or negative.

If you cut Jess out of your life, you will absolutely lose all hope of shaping her parenting choices. Your nephew (and any future siblings in that family) needs your experience, love, and sane-ness. For his sake, you must set aside your feelings toward his mother and father, and move forward.

Blessings on you as you try to work through this terrible event.
gardenmommy is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off