Two month old NEEDS circumcision because foreskin is too tight? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 51 Old 02-09-2006, 05:58 PM
 
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Desperate times call for desperate measures. Of course you should/can talk to your brother!
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#32 of 51 Old 02-09-2006, 06:15 PM
 
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Absolutely, call your brother, and make sure they come over tonight! If you have printed off all of this info from the AAP and other orgasnizations and references saying that it is NORMAL for the foreskin to be fused right now, how can they ignore that? You need to let them know that you have found some doctors that can e trusted with an intact baby, and screw Medicaid- I'd be paying for their visit myself if the doc didn't take it.

~*Kristi*~
Tallulah Dare 8-01,  Marcos Gael 12-04, Cormac Mateo 9-09, Leonidas Ronan 11-11

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#33 of 51 Old 02-09-2006, 06:15 PM
 
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Oh wow! That's terrible.

I would definitely call your brother and tell him that they should not consent to surgery before they are fully informed on the issue. I don't understand why your SIL is in such a hurry to get it done, especially when she has heard that it probably isn't necessary.

Good luck.
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#34 of 51 Old 02-09-2006, 10:41 PM
 
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Thinking of you guys, hope you can change some minds!

Let us know what happens!
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#35 of 51 Old 02-09-2006, 10:55 PM
 
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Good luck!
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#36 of 51 Old 02-10-2006, 07:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, they had him circed! My brother said he was doing it becuase they are "tired of going through all this". Really? All WHAT? Its easier to whack off half his penis than to stand up to all her relatives? Easier than to find a doc who isnt an idiot? Easier than worrying about future problems that have a lower chance of happening than him being in a car accident? I mean WHAT?
And they never even bothered to get the information I had for them. They never bothered to get all the facts, knowing that they facts were out there. I would almost hope there were problems from the circ except that I cant wish that on the baby. For his sake I hope its as ok as it can be. But I dont get WHY. Oh yeah, because two doctors said it had to be done and of course since they are doctors, they know more than I. Or more than anyone I guess, since they didn't bother to research it at all. I mean, if a doctor told one of THEM that they needed to remove an organ or chop off a limb, I bet money they'd research it, get second, thrid, fourth opinions.....

Why would anyone mutilate thier child just to shut up thier relatives? Or to appease a doctor who HURT thier child? Ignorance is one thing, but I was telling them the facts and had research to back it up and they didnt even bother to try and be informed. My stepsister had her two sons circed, but in her case I know she was ignorant, willfully ignorant even, but still ignorant. My brother KNEW better, it was THIER decision not to circ even before they knew my viewpoint because of a newsshow they had seem somewhere that basically myth busted all the common reasons. And they had me telling them that all of that is still right and I could back it up and they did it anyway!

Two doctors does not make a consensus. When a dotor wanted to perform surgery on my mom, she got several opions and the majority of those were to do the surgery. Her own research told her that the surgery often did NOT improve the symptoms and she found risk factors no one had mentioned to her. One doctor she tried to discuss it with got mad at her and said people shouldnt read about it because it just scares them unnecisarily. Point is, she found a doctor who tried other treatments because she educated herself. She didnt do it just because a doctor, or two or three, said to. She knows they are in the business of surgery, right? My cousin had the same surgery and lost MORE function.

My mom and stepdad had a big fight over it, my stepdad said its THEIR decision so we should shut up and leave it to them. Well, those pushing FOR it werent shutting up so SOMEONE had to speak for the helpless baby!

Im so upset right now. I tried so hard. What more could I have done? I wish they would make it illegal. I think that every parent should have to WATCH it be done, no, they should have to hold thier child down for it. I bet you'd see the rates drop then. When they take the child into another room where you cant see or hear, it's easy to convince yourself that its "no big deal".

Sorry, I feel like Im going on and on but Im really distressed by this. I mean, I just can't beleive they would find mutilating thier son preferably to doing a little research, especially knowing that they KNOW he didnt need it. People never fail to amaze me.

You know, I didnt want my son circed, thats true, but that was pretty much as far as I had thought of it till now. All of this has made me a raging intactivist! I'm giving a presentation at our next staff meeting about it (had a talk with my boss yesterday) since we work with families with small children, I think our staff should be educated in case it ever comes up. Also plan to let them know if a family has questions and they arent comfortable talking about it (there are a few people I work with who would not want to talk about penises) that I will be happy to go out and do it. Ive also appended some info and several links to my signature in my email. Im not stopping there, in addition to my own office, Im in an association of EIS's (others who do what I do, they just work for other ECI programs) and Im going to talk to them. Then,I swear to God, I think Im going to write a book. Something with a real mainstream title that expectant parents will pick up. Has that been done? Do you think it would work? I dont know what else to do. I want to join a group thats fighting to BAN it! I mean, I am all on fire about this right now. I just cant believe people would keep willfully mutilating thier children!

Ok, deep breath. Deep breath. It's gonna be ok.

~Me, mama to soapbox boy (1991), photo girl (1997), gadget girl (2003), jungle boy (2005), fan boy (2003) and twirly girl (2011). Twenty years of tree hugging, breastfeeding, cosleeping, unschooling, craziness
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#37 of 51 Old 02-10-2006, 08:05 PM
 
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nak
I'm sorry. u did your best. sometimes it doesn't matter how much you song and dance and educate about a subject some folks just want to willfully remain ignorant.

i couldn't save my nephew, who is 2 weeks older than my baby. i still have pent up emotions over it. i dont look at my sister the same way anymore.
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#38 of 51 Old 02-10-2006, 08:13 PM
 
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You did your best.
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#39 of 51 Old 02-10-2006, 09:00 PM
 
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Some parents just don't deserve to be parents. UGH. Poor baby.

to you, you did your best.

Maybe you could collect evidence for him, like the doctor's name and what happened - then perhaps he can sue either them or the doctor who made such an atrocious diagnosis, when he turns 18.

Even better, report the doctor to the local medical board for malpractice, if you can, since he was clearly out of line diagnosing phimosis in a 2 month old baby. He's dangerous and needs to be taken out of circulation.
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#40 of 51 Old 02-10-2006, 09:07 PM
 
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How disappointing.
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#41 of 51 Old 02-10-2006, 10:01 PM
 
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WE HAVE GOT TO START EDUCATING THOSE FREAKING DOCTORS!!!!!!!



I'm sorry to any doctors who are reading this, but the longer I hang out on this board, the more anti-doctor I am becoming. I'm starting to see the medical profession as the enemy.

To the OP: Sorry you are going through this.
If I were you, I would ostracize them. Yell at them. Let them know what SCUM they are for mutilating a perfectly healthy penis! Then avoid them for several months. I couldn't be in the same room as those people. They should be ashamed of themselves.
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#42 of 51 Old 02-10-2006, 11:48 PM
 
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I'm so sorry!

I really thought this was a winner, since the parents seemed to be wanting not to circ.

What a tragic turn of events.

I also would not be able to be around them (maybe ever) - and I'd make sure they understood exactly why.

A**H*LES. They should be ashamed of themselves.
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#43 of 51 Old 02-11-2006, 12:40 AM
 
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Its sad how many people would rather cave under pressure instead of stand up for their children.

Maybe now you should offer your research skills for when he has trouble with his circ and they need to know how to deal with that. Or for when he turns 18 and wants to sue the Dr's who did this to him.

Casey
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#44 of 51 Old 02-11-2006, 01:26 AM
 
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In this issue, I am often appalled at the lack of concern some people have for their children. It amounts to extreme negligence and abuse of the child.

This is not rocket science! Especially since we have all of the information compiled here. They don't have to even drive to the freakin library for god sakes! That's neglect, pure and simple! That kind of parent needs to have their children taken away from them for the child's own protection.

We intactivists often get accused of calling others bad parents but if this isn't a prime example of bad parenting, there is no such thing as bad parenting. They wouldn't even take a few minutes to read for the protection and safety of their child!

Sorry, folks, I don't often vent like this but I just had to or go outside and wake half of my neighbors with the screaming.



Frank
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#45 of 51 Old 02-11-2006, 02:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ok, spoke to my brother today. He said that he only went to the circ apt. to appease sil and actually went to get another opinion and was NOT going to do it if they just said do it and didnt look at the baby/listen to him talk. So this woman said her son was intact and circ is unnecesary in most cases and purely cosmetic. She agreed that the other doc was wrong to retract him.

Then she looked at the baby and said, yes, its very tight and he is the one in three hundred that have a foreskin thats too tight and that when he grows up, sex will probally be painful and thats the reason most men who are circed as adults do it. If it were her child, shed do it. So they did it. Im not as mad at my brother now. Though he says sil is blaming him, though they made the decison not to circ togather, since it ended up "having" to be done, its his fault. But listen even to the doctor, "probally". Im would not have it done on proballys and maybes.

All I know is: he wasnt having problems NOW and its a big leap to say you can tell at two months if his foreskin will be too tight at 20, come on. Plus, if it were MY child, it would get done if and when it HAD to. AT 20, it would be HIS decison, not mine. Plus, from my research there are other treatments for phimosis that are way less radical.

I still think they should have researched more and waited, but I think they did what they THOUGHT was best and this doc seemed mostly anticirc, but I think she could still use some more education on the matter.

Its done now. Nothing more I can do or say. I hope like hell that if they ever have another, its a girl.

My brother does say I was the one who slowed sil down and calmed her down or she would have run out and had it done two weeks ago when the first doc said to. Maybe thats something? My brother still is anticirc, but felt like this was the one in three hundred case where it was medically necesary. I dont agree that it was, but it's done now.

If it were ever banned except as medically necesary, there would still be tons of unnesecary circs performed, because this one would have been called medically necesary, but I dont think it truly WAS!

~Me, mama to soapbox boy (1991), photo girl (1997), gadget girl (2003), jungle boy (2005), fan boy (2003) and twirly girl (2011). Twenty years of tree hugging, breastfeeding, cosleeping, unschooling, craziness
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#46 of 51 Old 02-11-2006, 03:24 PM
 
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There is no way that they can tell on a two month baby how he is going to grow or develop, they have no idea how he's going to grab and stretch his foreskin as he grows, or what he's going to do with it in the future. Baby foreskins are supposed to be tight. If he was urinating ok, not suffering any infections or any pain, why the heck did they think he "needed" to be circumcised?

I'm sorry, I don't believe a word of it, I think they're lying to you to get themselves out of trouble.
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#47 of 51 Old 02-11-2006, 11:37 PM
 
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I had a pediatrician tell me the same about my DS when he was a year and I laughed at her. (Though her recommendation was to stretch it in the bath, not to circ.) Then I phoned the head ped in the practice and told on her. I had all the AAP guidelines in front of me and made sure he knew that one of his docs was embarrassing the practice.

It's just such an absolutely rediculous assertion.

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#48 of 51 Old 02-11-2006, 11:44 PM
 
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Seriously there has got to be something done about the ignorance of these drs! I am anti-doctor anyway and stories like this don't help.

OP- is there any way you could find out who these drs are and report them?
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#49 of 51 Old 02-12-2006, 02:02 AM
 
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The foreskin of a 2 month old is SUPPOSED to be VERY tight. For goodness sake...it's meant to protect the glans and meatus during the early months/years, especially while in diapers. IF HE WAS PEEING FINE, IT WASN'T TOO TIGHT. Uuuuuuuuugggggggghhhhhhhhh.

They didn't give his penis A CHANCE to develop.

They didn't give his foreskin A CHANCE to loosen and stretch naturally through normal development.

They didn't give his hormones A CHANCE to aid in retractability as he approached puberty.

They didn't give time or even a single alternative treatment A CHANCE.

Poor lil' guy.



Jen
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#50 of 51 Old 02-12-2006, 01:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah, Im going to ask them for the docs name.

What kills me is that the doc who did it, had an intact son and KNEW it was generally not necesay, so I still dont know what her reasoning was on how she knew HIS was "too tight".

~Me, mama to soapbox boy (1991), photo girl (1997), gadget girl (2003), jungle boy (2005), fan boy (2003) and twirly girl (2011). Twenty years of tree hugging, breastfeeding, cosleeping, unschooling, craziness
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#51 of 51 Old 02-12-2006, 03:14 PM
 
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$$$$ She won't get any money if she cuts her own son, but she'll get a few hundred bucks if she does someone elses. Maybe her BMW payment was due.

Mom to Dakota (6), Coy, (4), Max, (4), Lily (4), and Auri (June 19th 2010)!
Visit Lily's site at www.caringbridge.org/visit/lilymathis1
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