Sorry this is going to be long. Bear with me?
DH's younger sister, who has just turned 17, is living with us during her pregnancy. My in laws are having some problems of their own and couldn't keep Abby (that's not her real name but we'll use it here) out of trouble. She has really shaped up here, is studying, is passing everything she's taking at school (she's on half days) and is planning on staying here to finish school and I will babysit during the day.
Gradualy I have approached her with topics i feel will help her with raising a healthy, happy child. She is going to breastfeed (YES!) and we have already got her a sling.
She also had decided not to find out the gender but changed her mind this week. That's were this trouble started.
It's a boy.
I gently (what I thought was gently) askd her if she hadgiven any thought to circumcision. She knows we're having a boy but the circ issue never came up. DH and I had our discussions BEFORE Abby came to live with us. So I asked her, and she said "Yes, I know boys have to have that done."
I of course shifted into intactivist mode, explained that boys don't have to have it done, and of course that we aren't doing it to our little boy.
After all that, she said, "It's my child and my decision and I'm doing it."
I stayed polite and asked her why, despite all the health risks, and the fact that it isn't her penis.
She said, "Aunty Minky, have you ever SEEN an uncircumcised guy?"
I didn't realy want to answer so I turned it back and said, "Have you?"
Aparently she has NOT seen an intact male. But she has heard about it on TV. We really don't watch TV much at our house, well she does, but we don't join her, but she was able to name 3 shows, Sex In The City, Dr. House, and Nip and Tuck, where there was an intact guy and nobody wanted to sleep with him because his penis was so ugly. She even went as far as to say "In two of those show's, the boy got so depressed he cut it off himself. I won't do that to my son."
I don't know how to fight this one. I don't know what to say or what to do. I have a hard time saying it's not ugly because truth being told I do find circumcised adults more attractive but that is bcause of my abuse issues which I also don't want to discuss with her.
I don't know if I wait a few more weeks. The due date is at the beginning of April and she will be having a hospital birth due to her parent's insurance. (My little one isn't due until the end of June.)
What do I do, what would you do? I don't like the video's but should I use them? Should I recomend she look at a picture of an intact baby? Actualy seeing that intact baby cartoon that has been posted was one of the things that made me sure I would be okay with my future intact baby!
I'm just so scared that she is going to mutelate her son for this very very stupid reason of looks. She seemed to agree on all the medical reasoning but it didn't convince her. She also agreed that it should be his choice, just that she knows what he'd choose, and he'd choose to be circumcised.
Help?!!!
DH's younger sister, who has just turned 17, is living with us during her pregnancy. My in laws are having some problems of their own and couldn't keep Abby (that's not her real name but we'll use it here) out of trouble. She has really shaped up here, is studying, is passing everything she's taking at school (she's on half days) and is planning on staying here to finish school and I will babysit during the day.
Gradualy I have approached her with topics i feel will help her with raising a healthy, happy child. She is going to breastfeed (YES!) and we have already got her a sling.
She also had decided not to find out the gender but changed her mind this week. That's were this trouble started.
It's a boy.
I gently (what I thought was gently) askd her if she hadgiven any thought to circumcision. She knows we're having a boy but the circ issue never came up. DH and I had our discussions BEFORE Abby came to live with us. So I asked her, and she said "Yes, I know boys have to have that done."
I of course shifted into intactivist mode, explained that boys don't have to have it done, and of course that we aren't doing it to our little boy.
After all that, she said, "It's my child and my decision and I'm doing it."
I stayed polite and asked her why, despite all the health risks, and the fact that it isn't her penis.
She said, "Aunty Minky, have you ever SEEN an uncircumcised guy?"
I didn't realy want to answer so I turned it back and said, "Have you?"
Aparently she has NOT seen an intact male. But she has heard about it on TV. We really don't watch TV much at our house, well she does, but we don't join her, but she was able to name 3 shows, Sex In The City, Dr. House, and Nip and Tuck, where there was an intact guy and nobody wanted to sleep with him because his penis was so ugly. She even went as far as to say "In two of those show's, the boy got so depressed he cut it off himself. I won't do that to my son."
I don't know how to fight this one. I don't know what to say or what to do. I have a hard time saying it's not ugly because truth being told I do find circumcised adults more attractive but that is bcause of my abuse issues which I also don't want to discuss with her.
I don't know if I wait a few more weeks. The due date is at the beginning of April and she will be having a hospital birth due to her parent's insurance. (My little one isn't due until the end of June.)
What do I do, what would you do? I don't like the video's but should I use them? Should I recomend she look at a picture of an intact baby? Actualy seeing that intact baby cartoon that has been posted was one of the things that made me sure I would be okay with my future intact baby!
I'm just so scared that she is going to mutelate her son for this very very stupid reason of looks. She seemed to agree on all the medical reasoning but it didn't convince her. She also agreed that it should be his choice, just that she knows what he'd choose, and he'd choose to be circumcised.
Help?!!!