Circumcision and the family - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 40 Old 02-11-2006, 04:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Excellent news! Penn and Teller made her think! And she told me she is leaning toward leaving the baby intact. I guess all the functions of the foreskin set in as she was watching better than they did when it was just me telling her. I have never been more thankful for TV.
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#32 of 40 Old 02-11-2006, 04:23 AM
 
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awesome development!
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#33 of 40 Old 02-11-2006, 04:52 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I am going to help her draw up a birth plan to use in the hospital that involves leaving the baby intact. I am sure she will need signs and tags for the diapers and everything else.

I don't think homebirth is an option. I get the feeling that if we try to usurp this girl's parents' authority, it is going to harm family relations. She was interested in homebirth and investigated it, but seems to be fine with hospital birth as well. If she was really begging me to help her birth at home I would help her out financially but I think nobody wants to cause trouble with her parents.
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#34 of 40 Old 02-11-2006, 05:47 AM
 
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I'm so pleased Penn and Teller seemed to work! Crossing my fingers that she stays strong.
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#35 of 40 Old 02-11-2006, 08:16 AM
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Hopefully P&T did the trick.
You can let her know there are other young moms who don't cut - I'm one of them, I'm a teen mom (gasp) and know other teen moms who left their sons intact. Actually I know more teen moms with intact babies then I do teen moms who cut.

Long distance Mom to boarding school superstars E (9) and Layne (6).
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#36 of 40 Old 02-11-2006, 09:50 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fi.
Hopefully P&T did the trick.
You can let her know there are other young moms who don't cut - I'm one of them, I'm a teen mom (gasp) and know other teen moms who left their sons intact. Actually I know more teen moms with intact babies then I do teen moms who cut.
I suspect that this is now the thing to do, women of your generation have far more access to new information than even women 10 years older than yourself. Anyone without pre-conceived ideas about circ'ing that do a little research are much less likely to cut than the older generation, most of whom simply didn't know any better and many of whom now feel that they have to justify their earlier decisions by supporting it.

Younger people are much more accepting of change, circumcision is an outdated relic of a procedure, that should be consigned to the 20th century as an aberration of history. One day people will look back and shake their heads when they hear what circ was supposed to cure - like we do when we hear that it was supposed to prevent/cure epilepsy, paralysis and blindness.
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#37 of 40 Old 02-11-2006, 10:40 AM
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However, that being said:

If I had not been to the UK and slept with an intact man (and stayed friends with him because he's the one who made me decide not to with my son and he made me stand up to my partner) I would have absolutely 100% done it. I wouldn't have considered not doing it - I didn't even know there were people who DIDN'T do it. I had never seen one. Once the unknown was taken out of the foreskin it was less scary and I liked it.

It wasn't until after my son was born that I really UNDERSTOOD why circumcision was so bad.

Long distance Mom to boarding school superstars E (9) and Layne (6).
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#38 of 40 Old 02-11-2006, 02:17 PM
 
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I'm so glad to hear you are drawing up a birth plan with her. Hopefully that will make her feel empowered by her decision and more likely to stick with it.

Just another thought...are her parents on board with this decision or are they unaware of it? I'd just be on alert on the chance that they think its a bad idea and try to change her mind back since she doesn't seem too set on it at this point.

Also, since hse has decided to leaver her son whole make sure she starts educating herself about care and how to protect her son from uneducated medical professionals.

Casey
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#39 of 40 Old 02-11-2006, 02:43 PM
 
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Can't she get a court order to get these 3 boys tested for paternity/child support?

I mean, on the one hand, if she doesn't know who it is, she gets control of the baby...but on the other hand, raising a baby by yourself is hard financially. Plus, she should get his medical history, etc. for her baby.

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#40 of 40 Old 02-11-2006, 09:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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She made the decision to leave the testing until after the birth because there is risk to the baby if it's done before. Two of the three said they would test voluntarily and the third, as I said before, won't admit that he might be the dad. I don't know if you need the court order before the birth or if you can do it after. We will look into it. I think her idea about it has been to test the two who are willing to be tested--and then if it's not them, pursue the third guy.

We may need to talk to her parents. As far as I know, circ has never been brought up by or with them. DH's parents don't even know that we're not cirching, it's just not something we have brought up. But oviously they circed their child (DH) so it's something to think about.

She woke up this morning with even stronger convictions that her son doesn't need surgury right after birth. Maybe young mom's really are more open to not circing! I found it so nice that she listened to what I had to say on breastfeeding and babywearing, and that she didn't freak out when I told her about my planning a homebirth.

I consider this a success story, we just have to make sure nobody convinces her out of it.
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