Intact men who support circumcision? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 47 Old 04-05-2006, 03:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We used to live in Mexico and had some friends from Argentina. The husband is intact but they circ'd their boy and when they found out we had circ'd our first son he was like "Oh that is wonderful, I am so glad you did it. It is so much cleaner, etc." This coming from an intact man!! Dh had actually encountered several men like this over his life and that was one of the reasons he was adamant about circing ds 1. (I will add my usual disclaimer that ds 2 is intact and dh no longer believes in circing) Why do you think intact men say things like this? And this man was from a very intact culture, it is not like he was surrounded my circ'd Americans and felt different.

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#2 of 47 Old 04-05-2006, 04:09 PM
 
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I don't get this either. I mean, it sounds so disingenuous. Like they aren't really telling the truth.

If they are FOR circ, why don't they get one for themselves?!

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#3 of 47 Old 04-05-2006, 04:25 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Ann-Marita

If they are FOR circ, why don't they get one for themselves?!
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#4 of 47 Old 04-05-2006, 04:55 PM
 
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My ex who is from Poland he is intact and what he thought of circumcison was that he thought it would be like just a dorsal slit not remove a whole thing.

Maybe he's one of those over cleaners like my ex and all really they needed was to pull rinse just once in the shower but my ex cleaned himself with 'soap' at showers, before dtd and after . So maybe their parents were with scare tatics making them to really overclean under their foreskin .
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#5 of 47 Old 04-05-2006, 05:17 PM
 
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In my experience, discussing it with my intact Icelandic buddy, it was lack of facts. He thought circumcised was better because it was healthier and easier to care for. It's just what he had heard repeatedly, but he couldn't elaborate.

I gave him some basic facts, links and info during a short conversation and he immediately changed his tune and was suddenly very thankful he was intact. It has come up again innumerable times...we kinda have the hots for each other and talk sex a lot. He is pro-foreskin now, where before, he just thought, "Eh, I hear circumcised is better, but I'm happy, so why would I run and out and do it?"

He didn't realize WHERE so much of his pleasure came from. Now he does!! Oh, and he lives in Orlando and his American girlfriend has no complaints.

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#6 of 47 Old 04-05-2006, 06:28 PM
 
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I would say it again, lack of information. The intact men don't know what they have and don't know what their son's would be missing. My father was led to believe that circ was essentially the same except it was cleaner. Of course, my father NEVER was circ'd himself. But, the doctors convinced him to do my brother apparently (who went on to circ his own two sons never knowing that his own father was intact)

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#7 of 47 Old 04-05-2006, 07:44 PM
 
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Yeah, it's interesting, you'll notice that they never do it to themselves, wonder why that is if they really think circ'd is so much better.
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#8 of 47 Old 04-05-2006, 07:52 PM
 
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Never encountered that before. My family is European. They would be horrified if I circed their grandchild, nephew, etc.
DH is intact as well and likes it the way it is. (He also is very clean )
I think intact fathers wanting their sons circed would be very, very rare.
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#9 of 47 Old 04-05-2006, 08:12 PM
 
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I have a friend who thinks this as well.

Could it be a "grass is greener" issue?
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#10 of 47 Old 04-05-2006, 09:12 PM
 
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If they've come to the US it might have something to do with having their children "fit in." But I think also that they have no idea what they would be missing....or maybe they do on some level since they don't rush out to do it themselves. Kinda like a circ'd man who thinks circ is "better" because he has no idea what he IS missing.
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#11 of 47 Old 04-05-2006, 10:14 PM
 
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I think in countries where there is a marked difference between rich and poor circ is often marketed as another way to separate yourself from the poor...aka: dirty.

Really I think it used to be that way to some extent in the US too. Not circing meant you couldn't afford it.

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#12 of 47 Old 04-05-2006, 10:25 PM
 
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I think in general men have a tendency to want for their sons what they have themselves. WHether they are circumcised or not, they tend to assume until other factors (like education) become involved, that their sons will have genitals that match theirs. There is one very notable exception to this: I suspect that the neonatal circumcision rate of sons of men who were ridiculed for not being circumcised is virtually 100%. They do not want their sons to go through what they went through growing up. I think we all should be able to understand that feeling, though we may not agree with it and though it may not be true for boys growing up now. A final factor to consider is that foreskins still gets a lot of bad press in the US. THere is, for example, hardly a sitcom that hasn't done a cirucmcision-themed episode, and the message of all the mass media is that circumcised is better than uncircumcised.
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#13 of 47 Old 04-06-2006, 03:18 AM
 
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I'd say lack of information. Since here in Scandinavia circumcision is not done, people don't quite understand how horrible infant circ is. When I have showed the circ video to my Scandinavian friends they have been absolutely appauled and I do not repeat their comments here.

The clean/dirt issue is concidered pretty absurd here, same with diseases. People usually just laugh at that and think it is ridiculous.
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#14 of 47 Old 04-06-2006, 02:58 PM
 
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My father is intact and always wished he was circ'd.
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#15 of 47 Old 04-06-2006, 03:17 PM
 
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One of DH's coworkers is intact (he is Mexican) and didn't know anything about circ. The coworker was surprised to find out that we had left DS intact (as DH is circ'd) and asked DH to have me email him some info about circ. I sent him a ton of links, including the intact.ca video and pictures of botched circs. He was shocked by the info and glad I had sent it to him, said he would never have a son circ'd after seeing it. Before that he just didn't know anything about it, assumed that since it was so common it must be better.

I always thought it was ironic that my first bit of intactivism was to an intact man.

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#16 of 47 Old 04-06-2006, 04:10 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by laralou
My father is intact and always wished he was circ'd.
Did you ever ask him why he didn't just go and get it done then? It's not as though he doesn't have a choice is it? Unlike all those poor men done at birth whether they wanted it or not.
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#17 of 47 Old 04-06-2006, 05:53 PM
 
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I think he never felt that strongly that he would have an elective surgery at this point. I have tried to argue with him, but he has a lot of issues about it and gets upset when I talk about it in front of him. I feel sorry for him, because I really believe it is due to social stigma, which I feel will change as the numbers of intact babies grow.

I do know a very well known and respected member here who said that her teenage son told her he wished she had circ'd him. I can't disclose who because it would violate her privacy, but it does help us realize how far we have to go to change the social climate- even today.
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#18 of 47 Old 04-06-2006, 06:01 PM
 
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I'm currently talking to a pregnant friend about leaving her unborn, second child intact. She mentioned that one of the main reasons that she circumcised her first son over ten years ago was because her intact brother drilled it into her head that her son would be "humiliated in the locker room" if left intact. But don't you know that her brother never felt so strongly about it that he himself got circumcised. And he ended up leaving his own sons intact!
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#19 of 47 Old 04-07-2006, 03:29 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sirte
I'm currently talking to a pregnant friend about leaving her unborn, second child intact. She mentioned that one of the main reasons that she circumcised her first son over ten years ago was because her intact brother drilled it into her head that her son would be "humiliated in the locker room" if left intact. But don't you know that her brother never felt so strongly about it that he himself got circumcised. And he ended up leaving his own sons intact!
ugh, how horrible.

I was talking to a male friend of mine who happens to be intact about how good it was to be. He mentioned it and then went "ugh" I asked him what the problem was, told him how much better it was that he was left whole and to never EVER let anyone tell him otherwise.
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#20 of 47 Old 04-07-2006, 03:47 AM
 
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...She mentioned that one of the main reasons that she circumcised her first son over ten years ago was because her intact brother drilled it into her head that her son would be "humiliated in the locker room" if left intact. ...

I believe this "locker room humiliation" is greatly exagerated... I am intact, and never had any comments about my status there. Guys in the locker room may have noticed whether another guy was circ'd or not, but you certainly did not tease or comment about it, for fear of being accused of being "queer" for showing an interest in another guy's genitials...
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#21 of 47 Old 04-07-2006, 04:27 AM
 
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Before I knew anything about the cons to circumcision/pros of intact, I asked around to male friends of their experience when I was trying to decide whether or not to have my babe cut. It turns out that two of my male friends had been intact into adulthood and then got cut. They said it was SO much better for sex being cut, but they are GAY males. I was wondering if there was a bit of fetishism going on???...

BTW, I've read that being intact is better for hetero sex by FAR...

I'm so glad that someone from my church cared enough to hand my husband a packet of articles regarding the cons to circumcision/pros of intact when he heard we were having a boy. My husband didn't ever read the articles, but I did. It WOKE ME UP! This is a plug for passing along info to others...
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#22 of 47 Old 04-07-2006, 01:52 PM
 
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Before I knew anything about the cons to circumcision/pros of intact, I asked around to male friends of their experience when I was trying to decide whether or not to have my babe cut. It turns out that two of my male friends had been intact into adulthood and then got cut. They said it was SO much better for sex being cut, but they are GAY males. I was wondering if there was a bit of fetishism going on???...
I guess it really just depends on the person because Dh and I are friends with a gay couple and one of them is pretty upset that he is circ'd. In fact he has been trying to restore his foreskin. He always tells me how impressed he is that we left ds intact because so many people make that decision for their sons at birth.
I honestly don't really know any intact men. If I do I don't know it at this point. The circ rate in this area seems to be pretty high.
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#23 of 47 Old 04-08-2006, 04:48 AM
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DH used to be one of those intact men who supported circumcision. Apparently his brother used to torment him about it when he was younger and tell him he was gross--it caused some major psychological damage. He's pretty much over it now and agrees that circ is bad, but still thinks I won't do oral sex because I think foreskin is nasty. Um, no, I just don't get anything out of a blowjob so I don't do them--it has nothing at all to do with foreskin and I've told him that countless times.
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#24 of 47 Old 04-08-2006, 09:07 PM
 
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One of the reasons I left my first son intact is that when I was a teenager, I asked my brother if he was circ'ed. He said he wasn't, and that he was GLAD that he wasn't. I know my second son is also glad to be intact. I don't know about my older son; I never was as open about it with him as I was with my youngest. I wish I had talked to him about it; to this day I don't know how he feels about it. I do know he's still intact; his girlfriend told me he was.

I think that if intact men think circ'ing is better, it's because they've been brainwashed by our society into thinking it's better, not because they've had any problems with their penises. With all the negativity out there, it's surprising that there are as many intact men as there are.
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#25 of 47 Old 04-09-2006, 12:56 AM
 
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On another forum I visit a women circed her sons because of her husband's cleanliness problems. Also, from what she's said I think her partner's mother might have forcibly retracted him and caused some problems. The woman says her DH's penis stinks and that he'd never leave his son intact.
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#26 of 47 Old 04-09-2006, 02:56 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by caloli
On another forum I visit a women circed her sons because of her husband's cleanliness problems. Also, from what she's said I think her partner's mother might have forcibly retracted him and caused some problems. The woman says her DH's penis stinks and that he'd never leave his son intact.
The one intact guy I know, had his sons circed for the same reason, he and his wife say his penis always has a scent no matter how often he washes.

Why he had to do it to his innocent son's and not get a circ 4 himself I don't know...!!
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#27 of 47 Old 04-09-2006, 11:18 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Minky
The one intact guy I know, had his sons circed for the same reason, he and his wife say his penis always has a scent no matter how often he washes.

Why he had to do it to his innocent son's and not get a circ 4 himself I don't know...!!
Human genitals have a scent?! I don't believe it!
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#28 of 47 Old 04-09-2006, 11:22 AM
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THIS is why it's SO important to me to teach my son that we didn't merely make a "choice" when keeping him intact. (Because then, at some later point in time, he might think we made the wrong "choice.")

I will teach him that I protected his genital integrity, and I will teach him to be PROUD of his intactness!

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#29 of 47 Old 04-09-2006, 01:39 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Minky
The one intact guy I know, had his sons circed for the same reason, he and his wife say his penis always has a scent no matter how often he washes.
Hmmmm. As a long time single man who has a lot of experience, I've never met a woman who doesn't have some genital scent "no matter how often they wash." Why is it acceptable for a woman and not a man? When I go to the supermarket, I see all kinds of vaginal deodorants and washes and other female supplies. Why can't I find these same types of products for males? Surely there is a market for them, no? Maybe this is where I can make my next $million. :


Quote:
Why he had to do it to his innocent son's and not get a circ 4 himself I don't know...!!
Because he knows it hurts and suspects it may have later sexual implications! He is willing to impose that pain and risk on his son but not himself. Basically, he's an uncaring coward!



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#30 of 47 Old 04-09-2006, 04:30 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Minky
The one intact guy I know, had his sons circed for the same reason, he and his wife say his penis always has a scent no matter how often he washes.

Why he had to do it to his innocent son's and not get a circ 4 himself I don't know...!!
I suppose his WIFE'S genitals smell like roses and stuff huh??

If it's all that important to you, (i.e. If you're too stupid to realize the value of all your body parts) get yourselves cut and leave your babies alone!!!

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