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Old 04-20-2006, 01:50 AM - Thread Starter
 
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They did it. I KNEW they would, but I never expected them to throw it in my face. I got an e mail from my sister about her recovery from a very difficult delivery. She included this info.

"Did I tell you he (Her dh) watched the circumcision? He got quite the history lesson from the dr and, just so you all know, it turned out great! "

Yuck, just yuck. I feel just ill. Poor baby. Never had a chance.
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Old 04-20-2006, 02:01 AM
 
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so sorry

 
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Old 04-20-2006, 02:12 AM
 
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Sorry.
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Old 04-20-2006, 02:23 AM
 
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I am so sorry.
I remember seeing my nephew for the first time and saying to my sil, how can you hurt him? And she said, "I won't be hurting him" Luckily they had a week to make the decision and I was able to save his foreskin. I just begged with them to please research it, and not regret something like I do. It worked, by that night they had decided not to. And when they told their dr, he said, "good, it is better for them to be intact"
Why aren't drs this outspoken BEFORE you make a decision? *Sigh* So very very sad.
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Old 04-20-2006, 03:17 AM
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Why aren't drs this outspoken BEFORE you make a decision?
$$$$$$$$$$$

Offended patients don't return.

Long distance Mom to boarding school superstars E (9) and Layne (6).
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Old 04-20-2006, 03:47 AM
 
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You should email her back and ask her to define "it turned out great."
I have seen a video of circumcision and felt ill and got teary watching it, and it wasn't even my child. For a parent to watch their own child being put through such agony and give it a seems really sick to me!!
:
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Old 04-20-2006, 04:56 AM
 
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They can't know after a few days that it turned out 'great'. Obviously there IS a level of misinfomation that was given to this couple to allow the circumcision to occur. And more bs (history lesson) to cover the doctor's a$$ and make sure the dad goes away 'happy'.

Dr's don't tell about adhesions or future problems even being a potential.

Hugs to you,

Jessica

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Old 04-20-2006, 10:29 AM
 
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Yes- I wonder what this "history lesson" was.
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Old 04-20-2006, 10:54 AM
 
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It "turned out great"?!?

WTF?

My response to that would be "I'm really sorry you felt the need to place your aesthetic sexual preferences on your newborn baby boy."

History lesson....uhhhhhhhh...."it was used to combat masturbation"? "It was once thought to cure baldness"?? I can not imagine hearing anything from the "history" of circumcision and thinking anything less than "oh, so this is just *stupid*, then".
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Old 04-20-2006, 11:02 AM
 
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OMG, that makes me want to puke. I can't imagine the "history" lesson the doc gave them.

So disgusting!
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Old 04-20-2006, 11:25 AM
 
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I'm sorry I lost the battle with my sister too.

Mom to ds 9 dd 7 : and dd 3/08 : if I can I go to
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Old 04-20-2006, 11:58 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm still burning about it. I tried to give her info w/o being offensive since she has 2 other circ'd sons (one 'had to be fixed'). But she apperantly was still upset. She is very headstrong. She worked in a nursing home, which is where she decided men are gross if not circ'd. I don't know how to even act the next time I see her or she calls (I can't call her). And I think I'm offended that she is infering my son is gross.
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Old 04-20-2006, 12:01 PM
 
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So sorry! I always feel that my son was born perfect, and why mess with perfection.

Now, all other cut penises look funny and abnormal to me. And, my son't still looks perfect just as he was born!

I have to say something about the peds...YEP...even the one I have here. Once we said that we would not even consider circ here...she said,"oh, that's great...I left my 24 year old son intact too" etc. BUT, I know from a website that she started that she does do circs as well for parents that want them : .

Perpetually breastfeeding or pregnant ENFP mom to a lot of kids...wife to a midwestern nice guy...living in tropical paradise...pink cats and homebirths rock!

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Old 04-20-2006, 02:10 PM
 
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In response to "just so you know it turned out great"

Tell her "Just so you know you'll have no way of knowing that until he is an adult. What "looks great" on a baby can be pretty screwed up on a grown man."

Casey
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Old 04-20-2006, 02:19 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fiveblessings
You should email her back and ask her to define "it turned out great."
I have seen a video of circumcision and felt ill and got teary watching it, and it wasn't even my child. For a parent to watch their own child being put through such agony and give it a seems really sick to me!!
:
Sheila,

:

Thank you.
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Old 04-21-2006, 01:24 AM
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She worked in a nursing home, which is where she decided men are gross if not circ'd

She based her decision that uncirc'd penises look gross based on old men in a nursing home? Hello! ALL naked old men look gross, circ'd or intact.
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Old 04-21-2006, 03:57 AM
 
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Originally Posted by 2Sweeties1Angel
Hello! ALL naked old men look gross
Except Patrick Stewart...

Mom to three 14 y.o. rock star grrl, 5 y.o. knight in spazzy armour and baby Juniper, born still @39 weeks 4 days 2-3-10 .
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Old 04-21-2006, 11:41 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2Sweeties1Angel
She worked in a nursing home, which is where she decided men are gross if not circ'd

She based her decision that uncirc'd penises look gross based on old men in a nursing home? Hello! ALL naked old men look gross, circ'd or intact.
Okay... So the question here is "how old is 'old'"?
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Old 04-21-2006, 12:01 PM
 
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Hugs to you mama-I cant imagine her writing and including that info when she knows you are against it. Poor precious baby! People kill me with the whole "gross" thing in general.:
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Old 04-21-2006, 01:50 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Fi.
$$$$$$$$$$$

Offended patients don't return.
Bingo.

Meg
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Old 04-21-2006, 02:57 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by morning glory
In response to "just so you know it turned out great"

Tell her "Just so you know you'll have no way of knowing that until he is an adult. What "looks great" on a baby can be pretty screwed up on a grown man."

Casey
Very well put.

Her response not only seemed a slap in the face, but extremely arrogant considering she has no way of knowing how HER decision will affect her son as an adult. Did I read correctly? She had to get one of her other children's circ's "fixed"? and she still went ahead and did this to her newborn? It's very strange what some people will take "pride" in.

Sorry about your nephews.
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Old 04-21-2006, 03:04 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by morning glory
In response to "just so you know it turned out great"

Tell her "Just so you know you'll have no way of knowing that until he is an adult. What "looks great" on a baby can be pretty screwed up on a grown man."

Casey
I agree. Make sure tell that her she has no idea how it turned out at this point and that she should ask her son and partners when he is sexually active how "it turned out". Oh, she says that would be intrusive and not appropriate to ask him in depth questions about his sex life as an adult? Then tell her she was already intrusive and inappropriate to chop off a chunk of his penis as a baby....why stop there?

Tofie ~ mama to DD1, DD2 and Pookie v3 debuting December 2011
Oh my God....women are the COWS of PEOPLE!! --Reese, Malcolm in the Middle
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Old 04-21-2006, 05:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Paper-Bag-Princess
Very well put.

Her response not only seemed a slap in the face, but extremely arrogant considering she has no way of knowing how HER decision will affect her son as an adult. Did I read correctly? She had to get one of her other children's circ's "fixed"? and she still went ahead and did this to her newborn? It's very strange what some people will take "pride" in.

Sorry about your nephews.
Yep, before he was 1, they took him 400 miles put him under and had it fixed. I think it was really uneven, hanging down on the bottom (goats beard?), I never saw it. I'm just so sad and disappointed. I cant say I will ever be friendly with her again. I can just see this causing a permanent rift between us. And I'm sure the doc told them how great circ is making me even more wrong.:
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Old 04-21-2006, 09:55 PM
 
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big hugs Jillie, that's a tough spot to be in, although I can understand somewhat. My sister had her only child (my only nephew) circ'd because her dh is. This is ridiculous to me considering that my entire side of the family, except for her son, is intact. Granted, had my dd been a ds, I may very well have agreed to the circ., just because my dh is. Those were not the cards I have been dealt though and by the time Sam was born, both my dh and myself were (and still are) adamantly anti-circ. My sister, who is a nurse btw, told me recently that because my son is intact that his first sexual experience would be painful, I looked at her (and our mom was there too, my mother actually laughed at her for thinking such ridiculousness) and asked her if she was serious. She had no clue and even though I'm the teacher in the family, I took that opportunity to educate her misinformation. She'd never admit that she made a mistake and that it was unnecessary, but she knows that the claims of hygiene, health, etc. don't hold water with me and that I can de-bunk her desperate claims of circ. being the better way.

Oh well. Hang in there. Intactivism is tough, especially when people refuse to take their heads out of the sand. Stand your ground, you never know if she'll ever understand or accept responsibility for her and her dh's actions.
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Old 04-22-2006, 01:53 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you for the kind words.
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Old 04-22-2006, 11:10 PM
 
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Yeah...I lost the battle with my sister and her husband too. This was 3 years ago when I was pregnant and two of my sisters were pregnant. I knew the one sister would have her son circumcised because she had two sons that already were. I talked to my other sister about it and even sent her a great book to read about it. I thought I had her convinced that it was very much the wrong thing to do, but as soon as she mentioned it to her husband he flipped out. He said that there was NO way that they would NOT circumcise their son. She decided that it was up to her husband because the baby was a boy. What a lame excuse!!! I'm sorry, but if my husband didn't agree with me there would have been he11 to pay. Mama bear protecting her baby!!! Anyway.....after her son was born, and circumcised, her husband sent me PICTURES of his new son's circumcised penis. I was horrified. He said he sent them to show me how well it went and that everything was fine. That almost shows me maybe a little level of guilt on his part because he had to PROVE to me that his decision (in his mind) was the right one. Ugh. Makes me sick. I'm just glad that my husband and I took the time to educate ourselves ahead of time on the subject and didn't just buy into all of the stupid reasons that people give you for circumcising. My husband is circumcised, but made the comment on more than one occasion that he wishes that he would have been given the choice, because if he had he would still be intact.
-Amy
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Old 04-23-2006, 12:01 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jillie
She worked in a nursing home, which is where she decided men are gross if not circ'd.
I could just slap people who spew this idea--it's such a bunch of crap and denial! :

As a nurse, I have seen all kinds of private parts. IMO, there is no way an intact man can compare to a woman! Cleansing elderly women who are completely incontent and especially who have contracted hips, which is common--makes it very difficult to clean--are by far grosser (Sorry if TMI). I never hear anyone suggest minimizing their genitals.

I have a SIL who is an Aide in a nursing home who believes the same way (Actually, my BIL was the one who told me this. He said if it were his choice, he's leave a baby intact but didn't want to fight her.) Fortunately they have had three girls...

All I have to say is she better never say it in front of me; I don't think I'd be able to keep my mouth shut!

Hugs Jillie~Don't let something like this keep you from speaking up for baby boys. One of these days you will speak to someone who actually doesn't have their head up their...well, in a dark place anyway.There's nothing like the feeling you get when you know someone opened their mind and realized the truth!

Pam
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Old 04-23-2006, 09:49 PM
 
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She worked in a nursing home, which is where she decided men are gross if not circ'd

Sooooo she gets to decide to permanently alter her son's genitals because of that? Hmmm does she know that he can CHOOSE to have it done later in life if he's so inclined? It's not like it was the last chance to ever hack off part of his penis *sarcasm*.

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