If a friend of your chooses to circ...do you stay friends with them? - Page 11 - Mothering Forums

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#301 of 307 Old 09-23-2014, 09:28 PM
 
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I've unfriended aquaintenses and distant family on Facebook for doing this. I don't have any friends who have, the ones with older boys didn't and all my kid free or pregnant friends said they wouldn't.

If I took the time to educate someone about why RIC is wrong and they would still choose to do it I know I'd never be able to respect them. And doubt I'd be willing to continue a friendship.
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#302 of 307 Old 09-23-2014, 09:32 PM
 
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Originally Posted by eightyferrettoes View Post
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Originally Posted by New Mexico Beach
I am surprised at how many of you would not be friends with someone who made a different personal decision than you.

That's just it; it's not a "personal decision" any more than FGM is. It's a violation of a kid's basic human rights, and someone who knows the facts and chooses to do it anyway has just demonstrated a major lack of character in my book.

Completely agree with this
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#303 of 307 Old 09-26-2014, 06:35 AM
 
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IMHO, if you equate circumcision to child abuse and are so vehemently against it, then you are simply a judgmental Anti-Semite
So, what about all the religious people who are Intactivists? Ever seen www.beyondthebris.com? Think everyone is still doing it?http://mobile.reuters.com/article/idUSBRE8AR0M720121128?irpc=932 Do you know Miriam Pollack? How about Leonard Glick, MD or Paul Fleiss, MD?

It's only anti-semitism if a person only wants to do away with religous cutting. Otherwise, it's a red herring.

Cutting off healthy, functional body parts of another person is wrong no matter what your reason & no matter the sex of the person. Body mods are for adults to choose for themselves.

May you have girls.

All the best,
Sus

Last edited by mama24-7; 09-26-2014 at 06:47 AM.
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#304 of 307 Old 11-08-2014, 09:30 PM
 
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I was wondering if any of the men here or wives of men here have ever considered circumcision for their child or children? What do you think I could say to someone that wants their son circumcised? I am trying to protect my nephew from this horrible practice. I have sent numerous articles and they have even watched a video or two on the subject. They say they have researched it, but still want it done. I first would like to say that I have never met anyone that after fully researching the subject would or could still put their days old infant through this. I have an intact son b/c i saw something about "why i chose not to circumcise". And it made me research and research some more. I will admit that if my daughter had been born a boy I would have ignorantly circumcised her. That's all I knew. That's what seemed normal(at the time). Why wouldn't you circumcise that's what every one does. This was my thought process. My mother was the only other person that had tried to get me to change my mind. But thankfully I had a daughter instead of a son. I have tried to explain to these people that my son hasn't had any problems thus far. Kind of using him as a first hand experience(someone they know personally) hoping to change their minds. You all have heard of that man that had to have it done later in life b/c of one reason or another, and it was so painful. Well they are going to do it to him so young b/c he won't remember it. Sorry I just feel so sick right now. From what i gather they want it done b/c men on the mothers side of the family have a "history" of "having" to be circumcised later in life and they " don't want him to have to go through it later or remember it"!!! My thing is if it turns into a medical necessity then ok, but not to try and prevent something that may never happen to him. I am really saddened by this and want to at least try one more time for my nephew, to show that at least one person cares about his general integrity. How would you men feel if someone in your family came to you after knowing that you were hurt by your circ as an adult and told you that they had tried to get your parents to leave you intact, but your parents didn't listen? I have been asked by my brother not to send anymore information. That they had made up their minds. I really feel like sitting down and really pouring my heart out to them in a letter, pleading with them to leave my nephew intact. Keeping a copy and if nephew ever wants to know I will show him the letter I sent to his parents. What do you think? I know this is not my child, but everyone that is expecting I give them info on this subject.
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#305 of 307 Old 11-10-2014, 07:04 AM
 
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This happened with our first nephew, DH's brother's son. Me, DH and their mom all talked to them but they said they didn't want to hear any more. DH even made a last ditch appeal at the hospital, but they did it anyway. It was very painful for all of us, and to be honest, it took me a year to get over my anger at BIL. But, you can't stop talking to family, so I had to get over it.

Some people just won't change their minds, ever. I think it is a function of personality type and maturity to be able to see new ideas and not be threatened, but either way, sometimes you lose.
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#306 of 307 Old 11-11-2014, 12:40 PM
 
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Two things I've done or considered when people don't seem to be willing to leave their kids whole:

Send an info pack from TheWHOLENetwork that contains a whole slue of info on all things circ & intact. I don't know if any of the ones I've had sent have had an effect but of course I hope so.

I've never but have considered offering to pay the parents to keep the kid whole. Show them that someone values their kids whole body. I've thought of asking how much the insurance would pay to have it done & I'll pay them that. Sounds crazy, even to me, but maybe it'd get them to think, just enough more, to leave them be.

My SIL had her premature twins cut whom she was pregnant w/ when I was with my last child. I tried appealing to her, from one mother-to-be to another. No dice. She is truly an obstinate witch & I feel bad for her children. Of course, my saying this comes from years of dealing w/ her, the most recent time when she refused to have her children wash their hands after eating to protect my children from coming in contact w/ allergens & having reactions. Not all people are as willfully ignorant as she is, thankfully.

I know how hard it is to deal w/ this. I've gotten to the point that I don't want to know when people are having their babies because then I figure out when they're likely to be cut.

Oh, one more thing - maybe show them this video? This is an pediatric ER doc who has seen a baby die & seen others come very close. May make them dig their head further in the sand but maybe not? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPWqB4SGjgk

Best wishes,
Sus

Baby the babies while they're babies so they don't need babying for a lifetime.
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#307 of 307 Old 11-14-2014, 07:27 PM
 
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I don't really look at it as I'm losing, but my poor nephew is losing out on a whole body. His choice doesn't seem to matter to those that should love him the most. If he needed it done when he is older, (because of issues on mother's side; even though I think the problems were caused by wrong information that was given to their mother's) I would be more excepting of it especially if he was the on that was able to make the informed consent. I just feel like I am the only one that cares about him. @mama24-7 I have thought of sending something from the whole network because I really like the info they have and I think it is very informative. I just have a feeling that if I were to send it, it would be a waste of money. Thank you all!
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