Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Searching for Jason Bourne
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Originally Posted by cristina63303
Guys, let's not forget what we are: an internet message board. Now, how do we weigh against someone's doctor's advice? I can see how people yould choose to go with that!
I am fortunate enough to live in an environment where intact is the norm, the mainstream. "It's what is done". Doctors wouldn't even think of recommending circ!!! I don't know that I would have been courageous enough to go against the current on a medical issue, that is, aginst the general advice of doctors.
Example: I vax. I'm all for vax. I've talked about it with my wonderful ped and he agrees. I've read very little from the anti-vax side and it seems way too radical to me. I'm not trying to get off topic in this forum, just to find a way to put ourselves in the shoes of someone on the fence (or even opting to circ). Guys, we are sometims perceived as radical lunatics!!!
See my point?
I guess I struggle with this a lot. My best friend chose circ for her sons despite mountains of links I sent her and I don't know if she ever read (usual stupid arguments: look like dad, it's what is done...) and she's still my best friend. I HATE the choice she made, and I KNOW it's wrong. It's difficult not to think about it when we talk (seldom, we live in different continents) but I've never mentioned it again. I know how her brain is wired and I know she has the best interests of her children at heart. After all, it was her doctors' recommendation. She's clearly no child abuser!!! Social pressures influence us - all of us.
Houdini, keep up your (soul) search. We do tend to be a very passionate crowd, so please, please try not to take some statements too personally (easier said than done, I know). I would like to think that we can also offer you a shoulder to cry on if you need at some point. I can't imagine it being easy, what you're dealing with.
Originally Posted by Yoshua
just lettin Houdini know I am lurking and you know how ta get me when ya need me.
Originally Posted by wtchyhlr
Wow Houdini, I'm also very impressed with you being brave enough to open this bag of worms for yourself - and to do it in such a vocally anti-circ place. I can see potential for a lot of guilt if you do end up anti-circ, and I hope you don't beat yourself up too badly.
That said..... One thing stuck out in the posts, and that was your family being so pro-circ (and your nephew's case)... I have personally not have the discussions with my parents or my IL's about circumcision, because its none of their business. None of them have ever changed DS's diaper, tho they have seen it done. They have not brought it up. I supposed if they ever do bring it up, my response will be along the lines of "why do you care so much about my son's penis" and look at them blankly.
we didn't circ because i couldn't come up with a good reason to. When the nurses at the hospital asked when we were going to do his circ while we were checking out, i looked at them and said we're not. They said why, and i said (with a completely straight face) "we're not jewish" and looked at them like they were crazy. One nurse gave me a horrible look like I had suggested the world was ending, and the other was snickering behind her hand (and she later made mention of me being a very well informed first time mom)
If DS wants to cut off his foreskin... he can do it after he's of legal age.
Originally Posted by Houdini
Thank you to all of you who posted on this thread. This week has been a bit trying and pretty difficult. I have struggled with several different emotions through my journey. I am still working through some things, but I am very happy with the progress so far. I am glad I came to this forum and I have felt welcome. I did get defensive at one point, but that was all part of the process (I think ). I am talking with a member of MDC who has been helping me along on my journey and has been quite the advocate. He has been straightforward and unwavering in helping me. He has just the right brand of honesty and persistence. Thank you, Yoshua.