Question from a member who only lurks on this forum - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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Old 06-29-2006, 08:49 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by cristina63303
Guys, let's not forget what we are: an internet message board. Now, how do we weigh against someone's doctor's advice? I can see how people yould choose to go with that!

I am fortunate enough to live in an environment where intact is the norm, the mainstream. "It's what is done". Doctors wouldn't even think of recommending circ!!! I don't know that I would have been courageous enough to go against the current on a medical issue, that is, aginst the general advice of doctors.

Example: I vax. I'm all for vax. I've talked about it with my wonderful ped and he agrees. I've read very little from the anti-vax side and it seems way too radical to me. I'm not trying to get off topic in this forum, just to find a way to put ourselves in the shoes of someone on the fence (or even opting to circ). Guys, we are sometims perceived as radical lunatics!!!

See my point?

I guess I struggle with this a lot. My best friend chose circ for her sons despite mountains of links I sent her and I don't know if she ever read (usual stupid arguments: look like dad, it's what is done...) and she's still my best friend. I HATE the choice she made, and I KNOW it's wrong. It's difficult not to think about it when we talk (seldom, we live in different continents) but I've never mentioned it again. I know how her brain is wired and I know she has the best interests of her children at heart. After all, it was her doctors' recommendation. She's clearly no child abuser!!! Social pressures influence us - all of us.

Houdini, keep up your (soul) search. We do tend to be a very passionate crowd, so please, please try not to take some statements too personally (easier said than done, I know). I would like to think that we can also offer you a shoulder to cry on if you need at some point. I can't imagine it being easy, what you're dealing with.

Cristina
Thank you very much for your post.

Rebecca wife of Megan...moms to six crazy kiddos! Seth (15), Madison (13), Zachary (12), Trevor (12), Alex (10), and Nicholas (9)
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Old 06-29-2006, 10:46 AM
 
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Houdini
I just wanted to offer my hugs and say that I think it IS great that you are here to ask questions.

If I hadn't found this sort of information before I had my son I know we would have had him circumcised. Some of the women on a mainstream board were vocal about intactness and even though they were in the minority their information made a lot of sense.

I can't imagine how hard it would be to sift through the information after a decision has been made-- it was hard enough to go through when I was just pregnant.

I never realized that it was just a "US" thing and I was surprised and shocked by this. That was my starting place.... coinciding with learning that most circs took place without pain relief... which shocked and angered me.

I wish I had more time to read through this thread and see if there was any thing I could add, but I really just wanted to offer my support and say thanks for being here and staying here.

Jessica

Jessica..lady.gifintactlact.gif Falling in love all over again..... 
Dhprivateeyes.gif, Joshua rolleyes.gif Rebeccagrouphug.gifand dog2.gif.    candle.gif for Laura
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Old 06-29-2006, 01:25 PM
 
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just lettin Houdini know I am lurking and you know how ta get me when ya need me.


/fades out.

Partner to :Jessica(??) papa to Jake(7) and : Kaiya (2)
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Old 06-29-2006, 01:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Yoshua
just lettin Houdini know I am lurking and you know how ta get me when ya need me.


/fades out.
:

Rebecca wife of Megan...moms to six crazy kiddos! Seth (15), Madison (13), Zachary (12), Trevor (12), Alex (10), and Nicholas (9)
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Old 06-29-2006, 02:17 PM
 
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Wow Houdini, I'm also very impressed with you being brave enough to open this bag of worms for yourself - and to do it in such a vocally anti-circ place. I can see potential for a lot of guilt if you do end up anti-circ, and I hope you don't beat yourself up too badly.

That said..... One thing stuck out in the posts, and that was your family being so pro-circ (and your nephew's case)... I have personally not have the discussions with my parents or my IL's about circumcision, because its none of their business. None of them have ever changed DS's diaper, tho they have seen it done. They have not brought it up. I supposed if they ever do bring it up, my response will be along the lines of "why do you care so much about my son's penis" and look at them blankly.

we didn't circ because i couldn't come up with a good reason to. When the nurses at the hospital asked when we were going to do his circ while we were checking out, i looked at them and said we're not. They said why, and i said (with a completely straight face) "we're not jewish" and looked at them like they were crazy. One nurse gave me a horrible look like I had suggested the world was ending, and the other was snickering behind her hand (and she later made mention of me being a very well informed first time mom)

If DS wants to cut off his foreskin... he can do it after he's of legal age.
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Old 06-30-2006, 12:42 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you to all of you who posted on this thread. This week has been a bit trying and pretty difficult. I have struggled with several different emotions through my journey. I am still working through some things, but I am very happy with the progress so far. I am glad I came to this forum and I have felt welcome. I did get defensive at one point, but that was all part of the process (I think ). I am talking with a member of MDC who has been helping me along on my journey and has been quite the advocate. He has been straightforward and unwavering in helping me. He has just the right brand of honesty and persistence. Thank you, Yoshua.

Rebecca wife of Megan...moms to six crazy kiddos! Seth (15), Madison (13), Zachary (12), Trevor (12), Alex (10), and Nicholas (9)
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Old 06-30-2006, 07:34 AM
 
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Yay!
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Old 06-30-2006, 06:05 PM
 
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Originally Posted by wtchyhlr
Wow Houdini, I'm also very impressed with you being brave enough to open this bag of worms for yourself - and to do it in such a vocally anti-circ place. I can see potential for a lot of guilt if you do end up anti-circ, and I hope you don't beat yourself up too badly.

That said..... One thing stuck out in the posts, and that was your family being so pro-circ (and your nephew's case)... I have personally not have the discussions with my parents or my IL's about circumcision, because its none of their business. None of them have ever changed DS's diaper, tho they have seen it done. They have not brought it up. I supposed if they ever do bring it up, my response will be along the lines of "why do you care so much about my son's penis" and look at them blankly.

we didn't circ because i couldn't come up with a good reason to. When the nurses at the hospital asked when we were going to do his circ while we were checking out, i looked at them and said we're not. They said why, and i said (with a completely straight face) "we're not jewish" and looked at them like they were crazy. One nurse gave me a horrible look like I had suggested the world was ending, and the other was snickering behind her hand (and she later made mention of me being a very well informed first time mom)

If DS wants to cut off his foreskin... he can do it after he's of legal age.

Wtchyhlr, what you said is totally right. And as for those uneducated nurses at your hospital... I would have said her/him (male nurse)/them: Are you always in the habit of soliciting unnecessary surgical procedures on patients and visitors at your hospital? (even throw in): If the doctor wants a Ferrari, let HIM pay for it HIMSELF, instead of the money he'd receive from ripping away MY son's foreskin which is HIS to keep and decide to do w/ what HE wants when he becomes the legal age.
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Old 07-01-2006, 02:12 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Houdini
Thank you to all of you who posted on this thread. This week has been a bit trying and pretty difficult. I have struggled with several different emotions through my journey. I am still working through some things, but I am very happy with the progress so far. I am glad I came to this forum and I have felt welcome. I did get defensive at one point, but that was all part of the process (I think ). I am talking with a member of MDC who has been helping me along on my journey and has been quite the advocate. He has been straightforward and unwavering in helping me. He has just the right brand of honesty and persistence. Thank you, Yoshua.
I am so glad you are getting the support and input that you have asked for and that you are able to process the information in a way that is helping you to see the situation from an angle that maybe you have not seen in the past.

"To err is human, to forgive, canine." - Unknown
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