About helping "neophytes" - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#61 of 179 Old 08-03-2006, 01:05 PM
A&A
 
A&A's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 16,856
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 6 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by AntoninBeGonin
I don't know the people in real life, but I've read more than one person post that on other message boards.

'Tis crazy, I know. :

~Nay
Of course they say that, but it's just an excuse. They're really going for "look like Daddy" or something.

"Our task is not to see the future, but to enable it."
A&A is offline  
#62 of 179 Old 08-03-2006, 01:06 PM
A&A
 
A&A's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 16,856
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 6 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by kldliam

I think i am done at CAC now. I hope that you are content with the end result.

Hey, PLEASE stick around. We need you. I NEED YOU!


PS. I think this entire thread was started as a "message" to me........not you.

"Our task is not to see the future, but to enable it."
A&A is offline  
#63 of 179 Old 08-03-2006, 01:10 PM
A&A
 
A&A's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 16,856
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 6 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by ZeldasMom
The thing is though, when there are people being negative/snarky, to a certain degree it takes away other members' chance to deal with the situation in a gentle/non-threatening way. When people get pushed into reactive/defensive mode it can be very difficult to undo that..

Conversely, if some members let this become a debate board (which it is not), it becomes very difficult to undo that, as well. We're all trying to work toward the common good.

Most of us (probably all of us) are very nice and "gentle" at first, until we get hit with attitude after attitude by a particular poster. I hesitate to use the word "troll" but sometimes that's exactly what the situation becomes.....someone who doesn't want actual info, but wants to stir the hive, so to speak, and laughs at our every attempt to be "gentle."

"Our task is not to see the future, but to enable it."
A&A is offline  
#64 of 179 Old 08-03-2006, 02:07 PM
 
kxsiven's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Finland
Posts: 1,535
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by A&A
Most of us (probably all of us) are very nice and "gentle" at first, until we get hit with attitude after attitude by a particular poster. I hesitate to use the word "troll" but sometimes that's exactly what the situation becomes.....someone who doesn't want actual info, but wants to stir the hive, so to speak, and laughs at our every attempt to be "gentle."
:
kxsiven is offline  
#65 of 179 Old 08-03-2006, 03:41 PM
 
Quirky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Princeton, NJ
Posts: 12,070
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think it is possible to become too paranoid, and start seeing trolls when really it's just someone who isn't seeing the light as quickly as we might like, and gets defensive. I know for a fact that there have been times people have been falsely accused of being trolls, a fact that has been clarified behind the scenes. There was a recent honest-to-God troll, and I wasted a lot of time trying to educate that person before the trollishness was revealed, but that person's intentions were revealed a lot more clearly than other threads where it's been more about defensiveness.

I don't think this thread was started about any person in particular, but about a pattern or a tendency that appears when a fence-sitter or a person leaning towards not circing but with concerns comes into CAC. Yes, this is not a debate forum but that doesn't mean that people can't air their questions, concerns, and lifelong cultural beliefs so that we can help them see the falsity of those beliefs.

If someone says "But I always heard circ was cleaner" and we say "SHUT UP! THIS IS NOT A DEBATE BOARD! YOU CAN'T POST IN SUPPORT OF CIRC!" rather than "I know you've always heard that, but actually it's not cleaner, and here's the reasons why, and the evidence in support of that, and go do some reading here" then we haven't fulfilled the mission of this board, which IMO is to educate others, not just sit around ranting and raving to ourselves about the evils of circ (although there's definitely a place for that, too).

I think we should take the tack of "there are no stupid questions" around here, even if it means that we answer the same questions over and over and over and over. For the person who's asking the question or expressing the indoctrinated belief, it may be the first time they've ever even thought to question circ, and the answers are new *to them.*

I am not at all claiming to be a model poster, BTW. I get so angry about circ that I feel like I'm going to burst with hatred sometimes. I know I have been snarky in the past under various circumstances. But I do think it's too easy to get caught up in what we KNOW to be the truth and recognize that it takes other people -- and their partners -- a longer time to get there. Those fence-sitters deserve our support and patience.

Come visit the NEW QuirkyBaby website -- earn QB Bucks rewards points for purchases, reviews, referrals, and more! Free US shipping on great brands of baby slings and carriers and FREE BabyLegs or babywearing mirror on orders of $100+. Take the QB Quiz for personalized advice!

Quirky is offline  
#66 of 179 Old 08-03-2006, 04:03 PM
 
baybee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 1,615
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think we should take the tack of "there are no stupid questions" around here, even if it means that we answer the same questions over and over and over and over. For the person who's asking the question or expressing the indoctrinated belief, it may be the first time they've ever even thought to question circ, and the answers are new *to them.*

well said!
baybee is offline  
#67 of 179 Old 08-03-2006, 04:17 PM
 
njeb's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Iowa
Posts: 2,002
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
: Excellent post, Quirky!

Education is a vital part of this board. We've got to realize that many new posters at MDC have never even thought to question circumcision, because it's just so accepted where they live; to them it's an automatic part of postpartum care for a newborn boy. When they first come here and read the title of this board, "The Case Against Circumcision," their first thought is, "What's so bad about circumcision? The doctor said it HAD to be done, or ds would get infection after infection." If they come here and naively ask that, they're going to wonder why they're getting trounced on! We need to be gentle with these folks. They've been lied to by their doctors, parents, friends, and family. Unlearning their conditioning is going to be painful. For those who found out the truth too late to save their sons:
njeb is offline  
#68 of 179 Old 08-03-2006, 07:32 PM
 
Islay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Deal, Kent, England
Posts: 388
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
trmpetplaya (or 'my music lady', as I tend to think of you! Have you ever played the lute, by the way?)... thank you for this very worthwhile and inspirational thread!

christina and Quirky, excellent posts - thank you, too! And all the others who have spoken so eloquently.

As an addendum to my earlier post (No.43), I'd like to add a couple of thoughts:

1. There's a very thin line between debate and discussion, and sometimes that line can become blurred. Online, we cannot debate in the tradional manner where a subject is chosen and two opposing speakers argue the pros and cons for a fixed timespan, with the result being decided by an audience vote. In essence, therefore, all online is debate is discussion. So how do we decide where discussion ends and the cut and thrust of debate takes over? Does the answer lie in the phrase 'cut and thrust', perhaps? If so, how do we determine that point?

2. Throughout this forum I've come across several references to doctors/parents/friends, etc. lying about RIC. If we lie we know we are not telling the truth. Do folk actually lie about this issue? Or is it more a case of ignorance - a lack of education? I ask this because it occurs to me a newbie coming to this board might take exception to a suggestion (however indirect) that their respected doctor, parent or friend has lied to them.

If in fact some do lie, then the adage, "Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practise to deceive," springs to mind. Their lies will find them out!

Christopher

Education is the discovery of our own ignorance. Will Durant

 

"You give a little love and it all comes back to you....

You know you gonna be remembered for the things you say and do."

Bugsy Malone

 

 

Islay is offline  
#69 of 179 Old 08-03-2006, 07:41 PM
A&A
 
A&A's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 16,856
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 6 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Quirky

I don't think this thread was started about any person in particular,

I completely disagree. I used the term "newbie" in the thread being primarily discussed, and that, lo and behold, showed up as a term in this thread. Coincidence? I think not. That's ok; I'm tough enough to take it.

"Our task is not to see the future, but to enable it."
A&A is offline  
#70 of 179 Old 08-03-2006, 07:43 PM
A&A
 
A&A's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 16,856
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 6 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Quirky

If someone says "But I always heard circ was cleaner" and we say "SHUT UP! THIS IS NOT A DEBATE BOARD! YOU CAN'T POST IN SUPPORT OF CIRC!"
.

Your hyperbole is insulting. No one told anyone to shut up, and we're not talking about mere questions from new posters. We're talking about a very specific attitude that continued on over 100 posts! How long do we let it go on?

"Our task is not to see the future, but to enable it."
A&A is offline  
#71 of 179 Old 08-03-2006, 07:43 PM
 
Revamp's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,666
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by A&A
I completely disagree. I used the term "newbie" in the thread being primarily discussed, and that, lo and behold, showed up as a term in this thread. Coincidence? I think not. That's ok; I'm tough enough to take it.
Uh...

It is a fairly commonly utilised term.
Revamp is offline  
#72 of 179 Old 08-03-2006, 07:45 PM
A&A
 
A&A's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 16,856
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 6 Post(s)
Another case in point: the poor woman who initially planned to circ her nephew whom she had just taken custody of. The vast majority of posters (including me) were very nice to her and guided her in the right direction. She had questions; she had heard the "cleaner" myth, but she didn't have the attitude.

"Our task is not to see the future, but to enable it."
A&A is offline  
#73 of 179 Old 08-03-2006, 07:45 PM
A&A
 
A&A's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 16,856
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 6 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Revamp
Uh...

It is a fairly commonly utilised term.

But the timing of my using it and then it showing up in this thread in quotation marks was not a coincidence.

"Our task is not to see the future, but to enable it."
A&A is offline  
#74 of 179 Old 08-04-2006, 02:00 AM
 
ericswifey27's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: San Diego
Posts: 2,748
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by A&A
Your hyperbole is insulting. No one told anyone to shut up, and we're not talking about mere questions from new posters. We're talking about a very specific attitude that continued on over 100 posts! How long do we let it go on?
I never saw the other thread people are talking about so perhaps that's why I always thought the original post was referring to newbies in general, no one specific.

I think others are looking at this hypothetically too and using hypothetical situations to get their point across, not actual attacks at individuals.

But people have called me naive before, so perhaps I am missing something

Mama to my spirited J, and L, my homebirth: baby especially DTaP, MMR (family vax injuries)
ericswifey27 is offline  
#75 of 179 Old 08-04-2006, 02:02 AM - Thread Starter
 
trmpetplaya's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 3,918
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by A&A
But the timing of my using it and then it showing up in this thread in quotation marks was not a coincidence.
It's quite true that I "got" the term from reading your post and many many many other posts that use that term all over MDC (you didn't invent the term "newbie" ). This thread (as I have stated repeatedly) is NOT about anyone or any specific situation in particular. The recent situation had me thinking about it and the thread about newbies in the vax forum had me thinking about it so the timing seemed right to bring it up. That's all If you want to think it's about you (and if kldliam does too) then that's your business, but it's not about you : It's about all of us (including me) having a discussion about how we can better educate people about this issue. I don't really know how to tell "trolls" from anyone else so I was curious about how others can (or think they can... because I'm still not completely convinced that anyone CAN tell such a thing over the internet - one can make a reasonable guess, but how can one know for absolute certain? Yes, I expect an answer! It's not rhetorical.). Maybe I haven't been around long enough yet because I definitely haven't spent more than five years on any sort of message boards and four of those years were on a trumpet geek message board

Kldliam - Don't leave. You have been a great help around here and this thread is most assuredly not about anyone in particular (though I think this is the last time I'm going to say it!). Read again what Quirky posted:

Quote:
I don't think this thread was started about any person in particular, but about a pattern or a tendency that appears when a fence-sitter or a person leaning towards not circing but with concerns comes into CAC. Yes, this is not a debate forum but that doesn't mean that people can't air their questions, concerns, and lifelong cultural beliefs so that we can help them see the falsity of those beliefs.
She's absolutely correct! I've seen the tendency to jump on people who are not sure about circumcision the entire time I've been here. I, like Quirky, am far from a perfect poster. I struggle about how to tell people about circumcision in a way that is both powerful enough to change their mind, but sensitive enough to prevent them from shutting themselves away from what I want to teach them about circumcision. This thread is as much about me as it is about any of the rest of you. I'm self-centered like that : The OP was a stream of consciousness partly to help myself see the goal more clearly and partly to get dialogue going between all of us. If anyone wants to take it personally, then go ahead, but I don't think it'll enrich your life to believe that... and it wasn't intended to be taken personally anyhow.

I'm looking forward to PuppyFluffer's contribution for sure!!!

love and peace.

mama to two girls and due in November!
: Circumcision can never be undone :
trmpetplaya is offline  
#76 of 179 Old 08-04-2006, 03:56 AM
 
mom2savannah_grace's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 327
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thank you, trmptplaya, for directing me to this thread. I was gone this week so I was unable to respond in the original thread that helped to spawn this one.

I can tell you without a doubt that the person many of you were fighting with was not a troll. She is my cousin and a new young mom to be born and raised in the midwest (talk about being culturally conditioned to circ). I sent her this way when we were discussing circ at a recent family party. I haven't had the chance to talk to her much, so I glad she came her looking for info. Honestly, I can understand why she became defensive, however, she did not necessarily respond in the most appropriate way, but how many of us do when we feel we are being attacked?

I agree that all new posters need to be treated gently as you don't know their true intentions or their knowledge about circ. I also agree that we should have a sticky welcoming newbies (I forgot who posted an eloquent choice of words) encouraging them to read and lurk here first before posting. I have found how difficult it is to change the minds of those who are culturally conditioned to circ IRL, so we need to find a good way of doing that here without causing people to go on the defensive.

I am sorry if this isn't all coming out right, but I am emotionally involved in this type of situation since the most recent one involved someone I care about very much. I just think that even after 100 posts it shouldn't be jumped to conclusion that they are a troll. The most recent situation is proof of that. Thank you to all of those who no matter the situation respond to posters in a kind and informing way. Remember you'll catch more flies with honey than vinegar.
mom2savannah_grace is offline  
#77 of 179 Old 08-04-2006, 07:39 AM
 
eightyferrettoes's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 5,804
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by njeb
Education is a vital part of this board. We've got to realize that many new posters at MDC have never even thought to question circumcision, because it's just so accepted where they live; to them it's an automatic part of postpartum care for a newborn boy. When they first come here and read the title of this board, "The Case Against Circumcision," their first thought is, "What's so bad about circumcision?
Yeah. And, I want to point out that there is a big difference between a poster who's been around MDC for awhile and one who wandered in off a Google search for porn or whatever.

A mom who shows up at MDC looking for breastfeeding advice or cloth diapers can hang around for quite awhile without ever venturing in here, and gets a fair chance to notice that the overall vibe of the place is anti-circ. Siggies, off-handed comments, etc, give away the fact that a lot of folks here don't consider it a neutral or a beneficial practice.

So if or when she finally posts her questions, she's more likely to phrase them in a way that's palatable to the denizens of the CaC. And we're more likely to respond in kind, and the whole thing almost always goes smoothly.

Someone who comes in "off the streets" so to speak may have her mind changed, but it's gonna be a tougher case to make. Chances are decent that the person didn't even show up expecting a serious debate, let alone have any idea how to phrase their questions in a halfway respectful way.

I'd probably not send a friend here who wasn't already heavily leaning toward the anticirc side of things and aware of the issues-- it does come off as extreme to call such a common operation "mutilation" when it's all you know.

That doesn't mean anyone here needs to actively tone it down. Just that the CaC almost works as more a base for activists who are already convinced, or who are just on the verge of being convinced, than a place of educating the masses. Places like NOCIRC probably do a better job of that, on a large scale.
eightyferrettoes is offline  
#78 of 179 Old 08-04-2006, 07:45 AM
 
eightyferrettoes's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 5,804
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mom2savannah_grace
I can tell you without a doubt that the person many of you were fighting with was not a troll. She is my cousin and a new young mom to be born and raised in the midwest (talk about being culturally conditioned to circ). I sent her this way when we were discussing circ at a recent family party.
Aw, I hope she's all right. And that she at least did some reading! Lots of people posted some good info to her that day.

I admit I got a little frustrated when she kept refusing to say why she was posting in such a... cryptic sort of way. It drives me crazy when people say, "why can't you acknowlege the BENEFITS of circ, too?"

"Because there aren't any!"

Sigh. Culture is a beeyotch, eh?
eightyferrettoes is offline  
#79 of 179 Old 08-04-2006, 03:45 PM
 
Yoshua's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Where I am
Posts: 3,995
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by A&A
I completely disagree. I used the term "newbie" in the thread being primarily discussed, and that, lo and behold, showed up as a term in this thread. Coincidence? I think not. That's ok; I'm tough enough to take it.

Noob is not a new term to the internet....



Newbie Noob Nooblet Nubles Nub


I wouldnt worry about this thread being about you specifically. Since I have been here I've seen many people this thread can be geared towards, but I agree with everything this thread says.

Partner to :Jessica(??) papa to Jake(7) and : Kaiya (2)
Yoshua is offline  
#80 of 179 Old 08-04-2006, 07:06 PM
 
Islay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Deal, Kent, England
Posts: 388
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I and some others have been given to understand that Princess was genuinely looking for information. Heidi's post has now confirmed this.

I think Princess found it hard to phrase her wishes coherently in open forum; hence we found it difficult to understand her apparent reticence to acknowledge our relpies. In any event, her intentions were squeaky clean.

I fully support the purpose of this thread and its many thoughtful posts. It's been something of a cathartic experience and all the better for that! We can learn from it.

(trmpetplaya: the lute? You didn't answer me. Off-topic I know, but just a short reply? )

Christopher

Education is the discovery of our own ignorance. Will Durant

 

"You give a little love and it all comes back to you....

You know you gonna be remembered for the things you say and do."

Bugsy Malone

 

 

Islay is offline  
#81 of 179 Old 08-05-2006, 04:32 AM - Thread Starter
 
trmpetplaya's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 3,918
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Islay
(trmpetplaya: the lute? You didn't answer me. Off-topic I know, but just a short reply? )
Sorry, I forgot about that bit when I posted last... I've never played the lute, but I've played almost everything else. Flute, clarinet, oboe, bassoon, baritone, tuba, slide trumpet, trombone, violin, viola, cello, and percussion. My main instruments are (valve/regular) trumpet, piano, and French horn I can also sing pretty well.

I hope that ConfusedPrincess comes back.... the misunderstanding that occurred is totally understandable from both sides. I wish that there were no trolls because then we wouldn't get gun-shy (for lack of a better term) about anyone who seems to be one but isn't really

love and peace.

mama to two girls and due in November!
: Circumcision can never be undone :
trmpetplaya is offline  
#82 of 179 Old 08-05-2006, 04:45 AM
 
AntoninBeGonin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Northwest suburbs, Illinois.
Posts: 3,192
Mentioned: 8 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Quirky
the mission of this board, which IMO is to educate others, not just sit around ranting and raving to ourselves about the evils of circ (although there's definitely a place for that, too).
Just an idea, but how about this main forum being for educating people who come by who are confused about why they should leave their son's healthy penis alone, and create a subforum where we dedicated intactivists can go to rant, rage, and let out some pent-up emotion at the sheer stupidity of this even being legal?

~Nay

Reneé, 34 year old mom to Antonin 8/04 and Arianna 9/06  (6 weeks) 5/08. Married to Matt since 6/03 .  
AntoninBeGonin is online now  
#83 of 179 Old 08-05-2006, 05:00 AM
 
eightyferrettoes's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 5,804
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by AntoninBeGonin
Just an idea, but how about this main forum being for educating people who come by who are confused about why they should leave their son's healthy penis alone, and create a subforum where we dedicated intactivists can go to rant, rage, and let out some pent-up emotion at the sheer stupidity of this even being legal?

~Nay
That would might be smart. Kind of like the separation between the "Breastfeeding" and the "Lactivism" boards.

Could there be an "Intactness Beyond Infancy" board? Or a "Child-led Retraction" board?
eightyferrettoes is offline  
#84 of 179 Old 08-05-2006, 05:00 AM - Thread Starter
 
trmpetplaya's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 3,918
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by AntoninBeGonin
Just an idea, but how about this main forum being for educating people who come by who are confused about why they should leave their son's healthy penis alone, and create a subforum where we dedicated intactivists can go to rant, rage, and let out some pent-up emotion at the sheer stupidity of this even being legal?

~Nay
That makes a lot of sense... I can see how a lot of our rants could very easily scare neophytes off. Maybe cause them to think that we're a bunch of complete wackos. But I also like just having one board to check (I'm not lazy... not at all ). So if we did something like this, would the main forum also be for people who have questions about anything not having to do with ranting? Like why a foreskin is red? When will it retract? Etc. (I'm trying to visualise it, being the visual learner that I am )

love and peace.

mama to two girls and due in November!
: Circumcision can never be undone :
trmpetplaya is offline  
#85 of 179 Old 08-05-2006, 05:01 AM - Thread Starter
 
trmpetplaya's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 3,918
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by eightyferrettoes
Could there be an "Intactness Beyond Infancy" board? Or a "Child-led Retraction" board?
Child-led-retraction is awesome! Maybe that should be a sticky all about the benefits of letting the child retract in his own time

love and peace.

mama to two girls and due in November!
: Circumcision can never be undone :
trmpetplaya is offline  
#86 of 179 Old 08-05-2006, 05:13 AM
 
AntoninBeGonin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Northwest suburbs, Illinois.
Posts: 3,192
Mentioned: 8 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by trmpetplaya
Child-led-retraction is awesome! Maybe that should be a sticky all about the benefits of letting the child retract in his own time

love and peace.
I agree, child-led retraction (sort of like the CLW board in breastfeeding ) is a wonderful idea.

~Nay

Reneé, 34 year old mom to Antonin 8/04 and Arianna 9/06  (6 weeks) 5/08. Married to Matt since 6/03 .  
AntoninBeGonin is online now  
#87 of 179 Old 08-05-2006, 05:17 AM
 
AntoninBeGonin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Northwest suburbs, Illinois.
Posts: 3,192
Mentioned: 8 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by trmpetplaya
That makes a lot of sense... I can see how a lot of our rants could very easily scare neophytes off. Maybe cause them to think that we're a bunch of complete wackos. But I also like just having one board to check (I'm not lazy... not at all ). So if we did something like this, would the main forum also be for people who have questions about anything not having to do with ranting? Like why a foreskin is red? When will it retract? Etc. (I'm trying to visualise it, being the visual learner that I am )

love and peace.
Yeah, exactly. The main forum (what we have now) will be for the typical low-key discussion and for newbies to post their questions. The rant forum would be dedicated only to letting us blow off some steam. Any questions would be moved to the main forum.

Example 1: "Should I circumcise so my son looks like daddy" would be answered (nicely! ) in this main forum.

Example 2: "I can't believe people actually think it's a good idea to amputate healthy parts off their baby! Are they lining up to have all their healthy, yet non-essential to life, parts chopped off them! Would they? Hell no, they wouldn't...grumble, gripe, rant" would go in the rant section.



~Nay

Reneé, 34 year old mom to Antonin 8/04 and Arianna 9/06  (6 weeks) 5/08. Married to Matt since 6/03 .  
AntoninBeGonin is online now  
#88 of 179 Old 08-05-2006, 05:17 AM
 
eightyferrettoes's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 5,804
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by AntoninBeGonin
I agree, child-led retraction (sort of like the CLW board in breastfeeding ) is a wonderful idea.

~Nay
Oh, I was actually kidding about that. : I imagine it'd be a sloooowwww-moving forum, for all the right reasons. There just isn't much to discuss there.

"Should I retract him yet?"

followed by fifteen posts of "nope."

eightyferrettoes is offline  
#89 of 179 Old 08-05-2006, 05:19 AM
 
AntoninBeGonin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Northwest suburbs, Illinois.
Posts: 3,192
Mentioned: 8 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by eightyferrettoes
Oh, I was actually kidding about that. : I imagine it'd be a sloooowwww-moving forum, for all the right reasons. There just isn't much to discuss there.

"Should I retract him yet?"

followed by fifteen posts of "nope."

Well, you had me fooled!

~Nay

Reneé, 34 year old mom to Antonin 8/04 and Arianna 9/06  (6 weeks) 5/08. Married to Matt since 6/03 .  
AntoninBeGonin is online now  
#90 of 179 Old 08-05-2006, 01:46 PM
 
wendy1221's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: NC
Posts: 5,374
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by eightyferrettoes
Oh, I was actually kidding about that. : I imagine it'd be a sloooowwww-moving forum, for all the right reasons. There just isn't much to discuss there.

"Should I retract him yet?"

followed by fifteen posts of "nope."

Yeah, but there'd also be all the people whose docs are telling them that since ds is x years old he needs to be retracted.

And people w/ questions about adhesions, etc. My ds is 7 and has had adhesions breaking up lately. ANd it apparetnly hurts (he was forcibly retracted by a ped at 1 yr, so *I* think that might be why, but who knows.) If I didn't already know this was normal, I'd be asking about it.
wendy1221 is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off