Anyway, when I feel pregnant I decided to research it (because thats just what I do ) and (through MDC) found lots of anti circ stuff.
So, thats my question...were you always anti circ?? If not, what changed your mind?
Suddenly I remembered the tale of my grandfather "needing" to be circed in WWII, and a vague memory of how my mom told me that "Jewish people circed because of all the sand in the desert" or something crazy like that. And something about that guy who had the terribly botched circ and how they tried to "make" him into a girl.
And a few other extremely vague, crazy floating notions about penises. :
It was really more idle curiosity than anything that got me to reading at first. I wanted to know more details about what it was, and felt like the info coming out of the doc's brochures and my baby books was... inadequate, somehow.
Like there was something really important they weren't telling me about the whole thing.
As soon as I realized that the foreskin has to be ripped away from the glans, I knew for sure I'd been lied to about it being no big deal. I can't really remember a single defining moment that made me anti-circ, though -- it was more a gradual process. I'd say I realized things in this order:
First, that intact penises are NOT hideous monstrosities like they're made out to be in the popular media.
Second, that circ is very, very painful.
Third, that it was medically unnecessary.
Fourth, that it took away a person's right to make decisions about his own body.
Fifth, that it damaged sexual function and sensation.
The last thing was the hardest for me to acknowlege, being married to a circed guy. I can't imagine what it must be like for a man to come to that conclusion about himself.
But really, all I needed to know to not do it to my kid was that intactness wasn't hideous, circ wasn't medically indicated and that he could decide to do it later if he wanted. I wasn't even really anti-circ at the time of DS's birth-- just didn't feel it made sense for our son.
Not till I'd been living with his intact little parts for awhile (and reading) did I come to see it as a human rights issue.
ETA: My son is 100%, beautifully intact! I am proud to be among the pioneers that help stop the cycle of violence.
Loving wife of my gamer boy Michael. Blog link in my profile!
Originally Posted by njeb
I was only mildly anti-circ. when I first found this forum. I didn't circ. my own sons, but I didn't care what others did. : : It was only when I found out that circumcision affects sexual function that I became an intactivist.
People here on MDC helped me formulate my arguments when I was talking to my husband about it and he now totally agrees that there is no reason to have our little guy cut, so this is one little boy whose foreskin has been saved by MDC... and both my husband and I are anti-circ now!
I'll be honest...I had no idea that people circumcised babies. I thought men either had lots of skin, or they didn't. I must have heard something about circing somewhere down the line, becuase I knew what circumcision meant. At any rate, my first sexual partner (at 14, I regret to say) was intaqct, and my boyfriend at 16 was intact too.
I remember getting off of the phone with her, and being so distraught over what she had told me. I never called her again (ironically, I just bumped into her at a vegan restaurant last week!) I can't say I didn't call back because of her circing her son...but I think subconsciously that played into it.
At any rate....it was from that point on that I was opposed to circumcision. When I first mentioned it to my DH, when we talked about having kids, he was vehemently against my opposition. My heart sank low into my belly...and I wanted to throw up. It was a tough fight with him, but I eventually got through to him. It was the biggest relief ever!
About a month ago, after one of my intactivist rants, to which he just sat and stared at me the whole time as if he's heard it a million times already....LOL...I grabbed him and thanked him for being SOOOO supportive of me, and trusting my knowledge and conviction. He then thanked me for educating him, and being such a strong willed momma.
After marrying DH I figured we would keep any sons intact to "look like Daddy." Plus, as his wife, I had become intimately familiar with some of the benefits. But didn't look into it more than that. Eventually I started obsessing about all things PG, birth, baby, etc. Started reading this forum just for curiosity's sake and now am very vocal about staying intact. For a while I was shoving the subject into every conversation I could. I've chilled out a bit on it now, but am still adamant if the subject comes up. I've even tried to convince my brother to restore!
For DH it isn't even an issue of being anti-circ in his mind. To it is like being anti-cancer, anti-murder, anti-nuclear war. Just such a "duh" thing that he doesn't even think about it. But he is committed to it, I asked him what he would say if I told him I had done some research and decided I did want to circ. He said, "Well, I guess we won't be having any children then!"
BTW I dont know why I never asked my parents why it was done. I knew my brother and dad were, and we have always been an open family. I guess I just didnt care what their reason was, I thought it was wrong.
Jam 7, Peanut Butter 5, and Bread 2.
Circumcision seemed an obvious absurdity & horror to me. I never understood the viewpoint that it was considered normal or desirable- to me, that was like saying a smoggy sky was cleaner than a blue one, or food was more delicious after it processed through one's digestive system.
I am glad we have so many persuaded after the fact, but I think the world needs people who immediately grok the obvious as well.
I didn't have any anti-circ info, I just KNEW I would never do that to my little boy.
It makes me a little queasy to think that we came close to having it done. And that I was willing to make such a decision without ANY info.... shudder.
PS - most mothers who circ do no want to be in the room when it happens... I wonder if there should be some rule... "If you're going to mutilate your child without his permission, you have to be in the room... with NO EARPLUGS"
Sorry that was rude.
My SIL left my nephew intact and my other SIL is pro-intactness too (tho she has 3 girls)... so I did some research before becoming pregnant and hubby and I vowed to NEVER do that to any child that we bring into our family.
-zak- Mama to three fantastic sons - 2005, 2007 & 2010 and expecting a daughter February 2012!
My DH and I started arguing about circumcision before we even started ttc. I told him that I wouldn't consider having a baby unless he agreed he would be intact. I also told him that it would have to be over my dead body. He came around and is anti-circ as well!
I think I would have been left intact if I were a male. My mom is anti-circ as well which I didn't know till I was pregnant with my son. She begged me not to circ my son. I told her she had no reason to worry, I'd never do that!
Mama to DS 2/22/06 and DS 3/27/09 :
|Innately my brain just went "Cutting of parts of the penis from someone who did not ask you to = wrong".|
Mama, homeschooler, midwife. DD (13yo), DS (11yo), DD (8yo), DD (3yo), somebody new coming in November 2013.
I cna't get the puke emote to work...
Dh, Joshua Rebeccaand . for Laura
So I learned it wasn't a good thing in the same breath I found out what it was
I was around 10 years old.
Jen Mama of 2 precious boys (9) (6) and still in with my Matt after 12 years together.
Domestic Violence Children's Advocate and Counselor
This statement touches my heart.....when the attachment to a child overcomes everything and your heart starts doing the thinking....awesome!!
Perpetually breastfeeding or pregnant ENFP mom to a lot of kids...wife to a midwestern nice guy...living in tropical paradise...pink cats and homebirths rock!
eta: smilies are due to my dd
R~mama to 3