Have you always been against circ? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 74 Old 08-11-2006, 05:56 AM - Thread Starter
 
moppity's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Sydney, Australia
Posts: 297
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Just wondering...before I met DH I was a who thought that circing was just 'done'. Anyway, he is the most anti circ person I have met in my entire life. To the point that circing would be a deal breaker in our marriage. I had always promised him I would never circ but didn't really have any evidence either way.

Anyway, when I feel pregnant I decided to research it (because thats just what I do ) and (through MDC) found lots of anti circ stuff.

So, thats my question...were you always anti circ?? If not, what changed your mind?
moppity is offline  
#2 of 74 Old 08-11-2006, 06:50 AM
 
eightyferrettoes's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 5,804
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
No. I can't say I ever had a real "thought" on the whole subject, any more than I had on placentas, before I found out my unborn kiddo was a boy.

Suddenly I remembered the tale of my grandfather "needing" to be circed in WWII, and a vague memory of how my mom told me that "Jewish people circed because of all the sand in the desert" or something crazy like that. And something about that guy who had the terribly botched circ and how they tried to "make" him into a girl.

And a few other extremely vague, crazy floating notions about penises. :

It was really more idle curiosity than anything that got me to reading at first. I wanted to know more details about what it was, and felt like the info coming out of the doc's brochures and my baby books was... inadequate, somehow.

Like there was something really important they weren't telling me about the whole thing.

As soon as I realized that the foreskin has to be ripped away from the glans, I knew for sure I'd been lied to about it being no big deal. I can't really remember a single defining moment that made me anti-circ, though -- it was more a gradual process. I'd say I realized things in this order:

First, that intact penises are NOT hideous monstrosities like they're made out to be in the popular media.
Second, that circ is very, very painful.
Third, that it was medically unnecessary.
Fourth, that it took away a person's right to make decisions about his own body.
Fifth, that it damaged sexual function and sensation.

The last thing was the hardest for me to acknowlege, being married to a circed guy. I can't imagine what it must be like for a man to come to that conclusion about himself.

But really, all I needed to know to not do it to my kid was that intactness wasn't hideous, circ wasn't medically indicated and that he could decide to do it later if he wanted. I wasn't even really anti-circ at the time of DS's birth-- just didn't feel it made sense for our son.

Not till I'd been living with his intact little parts for awhile (and reading) did I come to see it as a human rights issue.
eightyferrettoes is offline  
#3 of 74 Old 08-11-2006, 06:55 AM
 
hypnohobbit's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: in the Sunshine State
Posts: 250
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have been an intactivist since I was 6 years old! My brother was not circ'ed and my mother told me all about it...I have been a lactivist intactivist and homebirth advocate for nearly 2 decades...and I am only 25 years old!!!
hypnohobbit is offline  
#4 of 74 Old 08-11-2006, 07:02 AM
 
zaftigmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Red Sox Nation
Posts: 1,349
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Nope - shamefully enough I thought it was a normal thing to do. Luckily my first child was a girl, and I found Mothering magazine and MDC and had the chance to learn a lot, and then had my son. If he had been first, I'm sure he would have been circumcised. I am always grateful to Mothering magazine for educating me!

"Home is where the heart is, no matter how the heart lives." - PP&M
zaftigmama is offline  
#5 of 74 Old 08-11-2006, 07:16 AM
 
Revamp's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,666
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Not always.

Since I first heard of it I was though.

Innately my brain just went "Cutting off parts of the penis from someone who did not ask you to = wrong".
Revamp is offline  
#6 of 74 Old 08-11-2006, 09:03 AM
 
minkajane's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Columbus, OH
Posts: 5,282
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
I never really thought about it either way. I had no idea until I started researching circ what an intact penis even looked like. When I saw pictures, I didn't think they looked "ugly" or "weird," I thought they looked natural and much better than the circ'd variety. "Natural Family Living" is what made me decide not to circ any future son I might have. Then I found MDC and my decision was cemented. Now I consider myself to be almost rabidly anti-circ. I can't even look at a picture of an intact penis (or my DH's ) without seeing the scar and the keritinization and feeling so sorry for what he had to go through and what he's missing out on without his foreskin.

ETA: My son is 100%, beautifully intact! I am proud to be among the pioneers that help stop the cycle of violence.

Mandy, )O(  Proud mommy of Taylor (1/6/05) jammin.gifand Abigail (4/21/11) slinggirl.gif
Loving wife of my gamer boy Michael. modifiedartist.gifBlog link in my profile! ribboncesarean.gif
minkajane is offline  
#7 of 74 Old 08-11-2006, 09:13 AM
 
njeb's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Iowa
Posts: 2,002
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I was only mildly anti-circ. when I first found this forum. I didn't circ. my own sons, but I didn't care what others did. : : It was only when I found out that circumcision affects sexual function that I became an intactivist.
njeb is offline  
#8 of 74 Old 08-11-2006, 09:24 AM
 
hubris's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: VA
Posts: 5,329
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It had never occurred to me to even think about it until I was in my mid-twenties and saw a baby being prepared for a circumcision.

may my heart always be open to little birds who are the secrets of living whatever they sing is better than to know  - e.e. cummings
hubris is offline  
#9 of 74 Old 08-11-2006, 09:28 AM - Thread Starter
 
moppity's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Sydney, Australia
Posts: 297
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by njeb
I was only mildly anti-circ. when I first found this forum. I didn't circ. my own sons, but I didn't care what others did. : : It was only when I found out that circumcision affects sexual function that I became an intactivist.
I used to be the same about others circing too. I remember my best friend having her son circed 'to be like Dad' and just thinking 'thank goodness I don't have to do it'. My DH and MDC have made me very much an intactivist though
moppity is offline  
#10 of 74 Old 08-11-2006, 09:42 AM
 
KrystalC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: covered in baby drool
Posts: 1,216
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
While I didn't particularly like the idea of circumcision, I was okay with letting my husband make the decision. However, when I found out that we're having a little boy, I did some checking into it to try and determine exactly WHY it's done. Of course, I didn't find anything that suggested it was better than leaving our little guy intact, even for "health reasons." My husband had hypospadias and had to have surgery to repair it when he was about 12, so he thought we needed to have him circ'd to prevent the complications he had. Through research and some words of advice from people on here, I discovered that's simply not the case.

People here on MDC helped me formulate my arguments when I was talking to my husband about it and he now totally agrees that there is no reason to have our little guy cut, so this is one little boy whose foreskin has been saved by MDC... and both my husband and I are anti-circ now!
KrystalC is offline  
#11 of 74 Old 08-11-2006, 11:39 AM
 
frenchie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Surf City California
Posts: 1,676
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
When I was 16, a friend of mine had a baby boy. I called her one night to congratulate her after she got home from the hospital. I could hear her son in the background fussing terribly. As we were talking about the baby, she cut the call short because of the fussy baby. I asked if he was hungry, and she said "no, he was circumcised today".
I'll be honest...I had no idea that people circumcised babies. I thought men either had lots of skin, or they didn't. I must have heard something about circing somewhere down the line, becuase I knew what circumcision meant. At any rate, my first sexual partner (at 14, I regret to say) was intaqct, and my boyfriend at 16 was intact too.
I remember getting off of the phone with her, and being so distraught over what she had told me. I never called her again (ironically, I just bumped into her at a vegan restaurant last week!) I can't say I didn't call back because of her circing her son...but I think subconsciously that played into it.
At any rate....it was from that point on that I was opposed to circumcision. When I first mentioned it to my DH, when we talked about having kids, he was vehemently against my opposition. My heart sank low into my belly...and I wanted to throw up. It was a tough fight with him, but I eventually got through to him. It was the biggest relief ever!
About a month ago, after one of my intactivist rants, to which he just sat and stared at me the whole time as if he's heard it a million times already....LOL...I grabbed him and thanked him for being SOOOO supportive of me, and trusting my knowledge and conviction. He then thanked me for educating him, and being such a strong willed momma.
frenchie is offline  
#12 of 74 Old 08-11-2006, 11:57 AM
 
Rico'sAlice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Southern Berkshire County, MA
Posts: 3,167
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
No. I was never "pro-circ" but I just never thought about it. It was just what everybody did. Then I started spending time w/ a bunch of Europeans and crunchy people, and then eventually was dating now-DH (German) so I saw that people could be intact and be happy about it.

After marrying DH I figured we would keep any sons intact to "look like Daddy." Plus, as his wife, I had become intimately familiar with some of the benefits. But didn't look into it more than that. Eventually I started obsessing about all things PG, birth, baby, etc. Started reading this forum just for curiosity's sake and now am very vocal about staying intact. For a while I was shoving the subject into every conversation I could. I've chilled out a bit on it now, but am still adamant if the subject comes up. I've even tried to convince my brother to restore!

For DH it isn't even an issue of being anti-circ in his mind. To it is like being anti-cancer, anti-murder, anti-nuclear war. Just such a "duh" thing that he doesn't even think about it. But he is committed to it, I asked him what he would say if I told him I had done some research and decided I did want to circ. He said, "Well, I guess we won't be having any children then!"
Rico'sAlice is offline  
#13 of 74 Old 08-11-2006, 12:01 PM
 
Cullens_Girl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: MA by way of RI by way of MA
Posts: 1,811
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Nope - as a matter of fact DS is not intact. : All future children will be intact.

Dani, wife to Cullen - 9/2002, mom to CJ 11/2004, Billy 12/2007 and Nora 7/2009
Cullens_Girl is offline  
#14 of 74 Old 08-11-2006, 12:09 PM
 
kimkabob5's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: upstate NY
Posts: 369
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've always been anti circ. I asked my mother what it was when I was a child and I thought it didn't make any sense to cut something off that was there. Then when I was pregnant, I read about it in Sheila Kitzinger's pregnancy book and that sealed it for me. It sounded barbaric and horrible. So that was that.
kimkabob5 is offline  
#15 of 74 Old 08-11-2006, 12:10 PM
 
Katerz2u's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 644
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I dont remember how old I was when I realized that all the penises (?) Ive seen (cousins, neighbors baby etc) were actually altered. I do know that I saw something on TV, or maybe read somewhere about the Jewish ceremony, and thought "ah ha!" But then, was even more confused because I knew my cousins werent Jewish, yet they were obviously cut too. My day of realization came when I was something like 10, and I saw an aunt change my newly circ'd baby cousin. I saw the gauze, and the plastibell, and the wound, and after one of these.. I realized that it wasnt just a Jewish thing..ever since then Ive been against it. When we were pregnant with DS1 I told my DH we arent going to circ him, and he was like , hell no.
BTW I dont know why I never asked my parents why it was done. I knew my brother and dad were, and we have always been an open family. I guess I just didnt care what their reason was, I thought it was wrong.
Katerz2u is offline  
#16 of 74 Old 08-11-2006, 12:11 PM
 
the_lissa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Posts: 13,248
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I always thought it was pointless and unnecessary, but it wasn't until I researched it with my first pregnancy (a dd) that I realized how horrible it is.

Jam 7, Peanut Butter 5, and Bread 2.

the_lissa is offline  
#17 of 74 Old 08-11-2006, 12:15 PM
 
TigerTail's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: I'm finally here!
Posts: 9,343
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I used to read the dictionary when I was about 7-ish.

Circumcision seemed an obvious absurdity & horror to me. I never understood the viewpoint that it was considered normal or desirable- to me, that was like saying a smoggy sky was cleaner than a blue one, or food was more delicious after it processed through one's digestive system.

I am glad we have so many persuaded after the fact, but I think the world needs people who immediately grok the obvious as well.
TigerTail is offline  
#18 of 74 Old 08-11-2006, 12:21 PM
 
muckemom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: In the mountains of Idaho!!!
Posts: 2,286
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I was pro-circ until the day I delivered, we signed the papers saying we wanted the surgery performed and that I wanted DH in the room when it happened... all through my 36 hour labor I was planning on it... and then my husband handed me our son... and after the counting fingers and toes I YELLED at my DH to find the nurse so that we could change our minds...

I didn't have any anti-circ info, I just KNEW I would never do that to my little boy.

It makes me a little queasy to think that we came close to having it done. And that I was willing to make such a decision without ANY info.... shudder.

PS - most mothers who circ do no want to be in the room when it happens... I wonder if there should be some rule... "If you're going to mutilate your child without his permission, you have to be in the room... with NO EARPLUGS"

Sorry that was rude.
muckemom is offline  
#19 of 74 Old 08-11-2006, 12:48 PM
 
ShaggyDaddy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,966
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I assumed it was just something you did until my wife challeneged me to actually think about it for 10 seconds.

I'm not intact, but the cycle of violence stopped with me thanks to my DW.
ShaggyDaddy is offline  
#20 of 74 Old 08-11-2006, 12:49 PM
 
ColoradoMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: mooning TAO
Posts: 10,084
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Honestly, I didn't really know what circumcision was until I became pregnant with dd. I mean, I wasn't completely ignorant about it, but pretty close. I THINK what happened was that I was on a mainstream board and someone asked about circumcision (very early on in my pg). So, I started thinking about it and researching it and said - NO WAY! Luckily, we found out at 20 weeks that dd was a girl because dh and I were on opposite sides of the fence and fighting fiercely. By the time we got pg with ds - he was on the bandwagon, too!!! The more I learn the more pro-intact and anti-circ I become.
ColoradoMama is offline  
#21 of 74 Old 08-11-2006, 12:56 PM
zak
 
zak's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Georgia
Posts: 961
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Nope. I wasn't "pro" circ, I thought it was just "what everyone does".

My SIL left my nephew intact and my other SIL is pro-intactness too (tho she has 3 girls)... so I did some research before becoming pregnant and hubby and I vowed to NEVER do that to any child that we bring into our family.

-zak- Mama to three fantastic sons - 2005, 2007 & 2010 and expecting a daughter February 2012!

zak is offline  
#22 of 74 Old 08-11-2006, 01:14 PM
 
KnitLady's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 823
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yep! Ever since I learned what circumcision is I've thought it was horrible and wrong. I think I was in middle school at the time. I'm much more anti-circ now that I have a boy though.

My DH and I started arguing about circumcision before we even started ttc. I told him that I wouldn't consider having a baby unless he agreed he would be intact. I also told him that it would have to be over my dead body. He came around and is anti-circ as well!

I think I would have been left intact if I were a male. My mom is anti-circ as well which I didn't know till I was pregnant with my son. She begged me not to circ my son. I told her she had no reason to worry, I'd never do that!

Casey
Mama to DS 2/22/06 and DS 3/27/09 :
KnitLady is offline  
#23 of 74 Old 08-11-2006, 01:22 PM
 
nikirj's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Washington
Posts: 4,952
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yup, always...men in my family and in DH's family are all intact so as soon as I learned what circ even WAS I was horrified. Like revamp said:

Quote:
Innately my brain just went "Cutting of parts of the penis from someone who did not ask you to = wrong".

Mama, homeschooler, midwife. DD (13yo), DS (11yo), DD (8yo), DD (3yo), somebody new coming in November 2013.

nikirj is offline  
#24 of 74 Old 08-11-2006, 01:30 PM
 
jessjgh1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 4,956
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I thought it was just "what everyone does". I think I assumed that there was a reason for it. Since it was painful and involved cutting I instinctively wanted to look into it from a standpoint of what do I need to know after the fact.

I cna't get the puke emote to work...

Jessica

Jessica..lady.gifintactlact.gif Falling in love all over again..... 
Dhprivateeyes.gif, Joshua rolleyes.gif Rebeccagrouphug.gifand dog2.gif.    candle.gif for Laura
jessjgh1 is offline  
#25 of 74 Old 08-11-2006, 01:44 PM
 
sincitymama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: on the road again
Posts: 1,773
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yeah, I've always been against it. I found out what it was when a baby boy cousin was born. Somehow the topic came up while I was in hearing so I asked what it was. It was pretty muched summed up for me like this: 'circumcision is cutting off hte foreskin, that's the skin at the tip of the penis. people used to think it was necessary or cleaner and so most of the boys your age had it done but now we know better and it isn't necessary at all so your auntie didn't have it done on your cousin.'
So I learned it wasn't a good thing in the same breath I found out what it was

I was around 10 years old.
sincitymama is offline  
#26 of 74 Old 08-11-2006, 01:49 PM
 
LoveChild421's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: North GA
Posts: 4,593
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Until I was 16 and had an intact boyfriend I never knew circ existed- I thought all penises just "came that way"- when I found out what circ was my first reaction was "that's F-ed up!!!" When I found out it was performed on babies with no/inadequate pain relief I was just horrified and knew that any future sons of mine would be intact.

Jen read.gif Mama of 2 precious boys blowkiss.gif (9)  flowersforyou.gif (6)  and still in heartbeat.gif with my Matt hat.gif after 12 years together. 

rainbow1284.gif Domestic Violence Children's Advocate and Counselor hug2.gif

 homebirth.jpg bf.jpg nocirc.gif ribbonjigsaw.gif 

LoveChild421 is offline  
#27 of 74 Old 08-11-2006, 01:58 PM
 
Telle Bear's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Eliot Maine
Posts: 908
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
[QUOTE=muckemom]I was pro-circ until the day I delivered, we signed the papers saying we wanted the surgery performed and that I wanted DH in the room when it happened... all through my 36 hour labor I was planning on it... and then my husband handed me our son... and after the counting fingers and toes I YELLED at my DH to find the nurse so that we could change our minds...

This statement touches my heart.....when the attachment to a child overcomes everything and your heart starts doing the thinking....awesome!!
Telle Bear is offline  
#28 of 74 Old 08-11-2006, 02:23 PM
 
phatchristy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Controlled chaos...
Posts: 9,371
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have got to be naive, I didn't really know the difference until after I had gotten married, etc. Once I found out I was SHOCKED! I mean, who goes and cuts heatlthy parts off of innocent babies? I still can't wrap my brain around the fact that people still allow this to happen in this country!

Perpetually breastfeeding or pregnant ENFP mom to a lot of kids...wife to a midwestern nice guy...living in tropical paradise...pink cats and homebirths rock!

phatchristy is offline  
#29 of 74 Old 08-11-2006, 03:05 PM
 
dnr3301's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 1,488
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I always knew I wouldn't have my own kids circ-ed, and was always quite outspoken about it being a ridiculous thing to do, but I didn't know about it being actually AWFUL like I do now. I thought it hurt the baby, knew it was purely cosmetic, and knew I wouldn't do it, but, eh, if others wanted to be dumb, I wasn't going to stop them. I saw it more as "why do it?" than "there are reasons to NOT do it".


eta: smilies are due to my dd

R~mama to 3

dnr3301 is offline  
#30 of 74 Old 08-11-2006, 03:37 PM
 
rozzie'sma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Amdist the urban decay
Posts: 2,325
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
nope. i was taught in nursing school in 2002 that circ'ing was great and prevented cancer yadda yadda. unfortunately this is why my nephew is circ'd. i hate that school
rozzie'sma is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off