Please keep us posted.I agree with the others regarding who has the authority to consent to circ.If the mother does not want it done then it will not happen but like the others said talk to your OB about it to be sure that this is the case in your hospital.
And don't talk about it with family. It isn't their business. I think my sister is the only that knows Nicky is intact.
I lived in Schaumburg for several years. I ended moving right before I delivered. Though the mid-west rates are high, the city/suburb hospitals see many more babies left whole simply because of the many different ethnic groups that reside there. After I didn't sign consent (and read every paper carefully in case they accidently toss it in there) I never heard about it again.
I'd try and see if dh is willing to let your ds make the decision himself. If he says it'll be too painful to get it later in life, explain to him that the pain is not any greater than it is at birth.
Originally Posted by Jaydens_mom
YOU are the one carrying the child for 9 mos and creating him inside your uterus.
NOT your family.
STRESS that and see if that helps.
Also mention that he can do what he wants with his penis when he is old enough, and if he doesn't like the foreskin he's more than welcome to book an appointment and pay for it to be cut off.
Originally Posted by Microsoap
I like what you're saying, but I would a few words w/ the words, "his penis". It's HIS penis, not the family's. It's HIS choice to do w/ it what ever makes him happy when he's of legal age. You can't get a Prince Albert piercing pre-18 and if he wants mutilate his body to please himself, he can do that when he's of age.
needless to say, that changed his mind
Originally Posted by KrystalC
If he wants it done for aesthetic reasons, explain the risks of a botched circumcision to him and then ask him which he thinks is better. As with any surgery, there is ALWAYS a chance something will go wrong and some babies even die during circ!! Is that really a risk he wants to take with your son for the sake of simple aesthetics?????
Second- I just moved to MI from Bolingbrook, and lived in Naperville for a year before that! It isn't a very crunchy place at all, is it? I am sending all sorts of prayers your way. I'm a Christian, and the flak I get from people about my anti-circ views is hard to deal with sometimes. Just remind them that, just as we no longer sacrifice burnt animals to God, we also do not cut our children.
Much love to you, and I hope it all works out well. Clara
Eager for a VBAC some time around April 10, 2010!
I swear, every single person has a horror story about someone who was circumcised at 90 years of age on his death bed and on and on and on.
I stuck to my guns and over a year later no one talks about it anymore. They gave up when they figured I wasn't going to bend on it. I even won a reluctant agreement from DH.
It was hell, but it was worth it.
Monica - single mama to DS and DD
Originally Posted by mamajandtheboys
while working as a nurse, i found that most hospitals don't offer circumcision any more -- and most that do require cash payment up front. one hospital i worked at had an info sheet for parents stating that circumcision is a medically unnecessary, cosmetic procedure and was not recommended any longer by the aap.
Definitely not reality in the midwest where I live.
((((Hugs)))) to you Heather
I know how hard it is to go against so many people but what it comes down to is protecting your child from harm that is your responsability and no one elses. There are so many stories in the Regret sticky of mom's who went ahead with the circ just to make others happy now they will regret that for the rest of there lives and their son's will have to live with the consequences.
In the hospital here the only one who can give concent for the circ is the mom the dad has no right. Once they leave the hospital tho that is another story. The dad can take the child to any ped. and have it done. I dont tell you this to be mean just so you are aware of what can happen. I would let my dh know in no uncertain terms should he do something like that our marriage would be over and it would with me. Because in my eyes he has abused my child.
I hope that you can get your dh to listen to reason and it dosnt come to hurting your marriage. Just let him know how important this is to you as best you can and work on him. When it looks like he has had enough back off a few days then go at it again. That is how it was with my dh finally he saw I was not gonna budge and he backed off.
If they are so worried about apperance let them know that only about 50% of boys here in the USA are circed now and the number is dropping fast. 80% of the world's population is intact that means only 20% are cut so if he decides to live outside the USA he will be the odd man out.
Do what you know in your heart is best for your son and dont worry about converting your family just make sure that even if dh isnt on your side he wont do something without your knowledge.
SAHMlovin' fan to DD 10/00 & DS 10/04 If your ds is intact, keep him safe, visit the Case Against Circ forumCirc, a personal choice, Your sons11/986/99anti-tobaccoThyroid cancer survivor. With & & (Boxer) wishing 4 &
I will also tell my dh that intact is the default, like a pp said, and that he needs to prove to me beyond a shadow of a doubt that our son needs surgery on his penis when he is born, or we're just going to leave it up to our son!
Thanks again, and I will keep you posted.
Ask them if they think a child born with say....ears that stick waaaay out...should that be corrected at birth? After all, you wouldn't want to have your child made fun of or look abnormal. OR, do they agree that it should be decision left up to the child when they become a consenting adult....because all a circ is, is cosemtic surgery.
Ask them how they would feel if they were strapped to a cold plastic board and a doctor started chopping up their genitals with no pain control....them ask them how any loving parent who is aware, could do that to their child...ask them how THEY could possibly think that a prcedure like that is OK, humane, acceptable, loving or in the BEST INTEREST of the child.
Stay strong. You will never, ever regret it.
Your family is emotionally invested in your decision because they interpret it as either an indictment or an affimation of their own past choices. If you have a healthy, happy intact boy running around, that is a serious threat because it means that they really didn't need to invade their childrens' genitals like they did. On the other hand, if you circ, they can just say to themselves, "See? Everyone does it. He might have had problems if he weren't circ'ed. We can forget about it now and go on believing that a rounded, marked, and bare penis is perfectly normal."