Why Nicole quit nursing school - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 28 Old 10-22-2006, 03:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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From Nicole:
I want to share with all of you an event that drew me into intactivism...
Back in 1996, I began an OB/GYN hospital clinical as a student nurse.
One day, I was enlisted to attend a 'routine circumcision.' I did not
realize how much that event would shatter the very foundation of a
career choice made in ignorance. I appeared in the doorway of the circ
room and saw the little newborn boy to whom I was 'assigned' for the
day. 20 years old and not having kids of my own, I did not anticipate
the lurching sensation that gripped my heart. Laying strapped down to a
table, so small and new....pure and innocent...trusting...all alone...no
defenses..., I walked toward the baby and wanted to grab him off the
table and shelter him..to tell him that nobody would hurt him..
In walked the doctor...loud..obnoxious..joking with his assistant...as
if he was about to perform a 10 minute oil change..not once did he talk
to this little baby. Rather, he reached for his cold metal
instruments..and then reached out for his object of mutilation...this
sweet newborn's perfect unharmed penis. As I recall the screams of pain
and terror.. his small lungs barely able to keep up with the cries..I
turned in horror as I saw the doctor forcefully pull his foreskin around
a metal object. Then came the knife..cut...cut..cut..
I stood next to the baby and said..you're almost done sweety..almost
done...
There..done. Then came the words..as that son-of-a-bitch dangled the
foreskin in midair.."anybody care to go fishing?"
My tongue lodged in my throat..I felt like I was about to vomit. I
restrained myself..and my duty was to then take the infant back to the
nursery for 'observation.' Here is where I realized I couldn't do it. I
could not be a part of such a cold, sterile, out-of-touch medical
model...Rather than observing, I cradled the infant...I held him and
whispered comforting words as if he were my own...I'll never forget
those new little eyes watch me as if in a haze...he knew I cared about
him...he knew he was safe in my arms..he knew that I was going to take
him to his mommy...but, deep in his little heart, at some level, I know
he wondered where his mommy was.....while he lay there mutilated in what
was supposed to be a safe and welcoming environment. I made a note in
the chart and then caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror...my chest and
face had broken out in purple splotches. My next thought? I can't do
this...I refuse to do this...this is NOT for me. I took the baby to his
mother..who was complaining about 'some pain' she was experiencing...I
never addressed her pain because I left to go to my locker..I grabbed my
belongings..and hoped that my rejection of this 'medical system' could
serve as some type of redemption for the violation of that newborn that
I cradled in my arms that day. The next day, I withdrew from nursing
school...and never looked back.

http://intactivism.tribe.net/thread/...2-2651b66bd6af

Re: The day I withdrew from "Nursing" School

<http://intactivism.tribe.net/thread/4a9fefc2-2c00-4205-8fac-4291cf5c0d3f#c8eeb534-3079-4110-9679-1e3a37317a85>


Re: The day I withdrew from "Nursing" School

<http://intactivism.tribe.net/thread/4a9fefc2-2c00-4205-8fac-4291cf5c0d3f#72e32ddb-1f01-4004-9be1-d2f97457ab32>
Oct 22/06

PLEASE DO post this wherever you can...this is an experience that will
never leave my psyche and a baby that I'll never ever forget...and I
want it out in the open...I am posting it wherever I can.
Peace.Love.&.Happiness
Nicole

<http://nevada.tribe.net/template/CreateMessage.vm?replyto=72e32ddb-1f01-4004-9be1-d2f97457ab32&tribeid=5655240e-25f1-4213-b418-840ae98dfb6a&threadid=4a9fefc2-2c00-4205-8fac-4291cf5c0d3f>
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#2 of 28 Old 10-22-2006, 03:21 PM
 
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Wow. So powerful. I wish I had waited one more day to do my blog post. Maybe I can put this in with the comments, one more thing for people to read.
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#3 of 28 Old 10-22-2006, 03:31 PM
 
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Thank you, baybee. And thank you Nicole. That was powerful, gutwrenching, and enlightening. Her values, her conscience, and the way she boldy left the violence of that place behind are an inspiration.

The deeper I get into intactivism, the more stuff gets drudged up from my subconscious regarding the circumcisions I witnessed...things I'd forgotten, but then find myself remembering. When I read the joke the doctor made about 'going fishing' I instantly but vaguely recalled hearing the same 'joke'. :Puke

Jen
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#4 of 28 Old 10-22-2006, 03:43 PM
 
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AHHHH!! I feel like I haven't quite come as far as you folks... I read these stories and then I read the following remarks.

Everyone seems sad for the baby (which I feel as well), however my first reaction is PURE anger!! My heart starts to pound and I start reading faster and skipping parts because I become overwhelmed with anger towards the doctor and the parents.

I put myself in her position and see myself screaming at the parents...GOOD JOBS @$$h*le$!! Great way to start being caring (ha) parents!!
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#5 of 28 Old 10-22-2006, 03:57 PM
 
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I read things like this and wonder if I'm strong enough.. I'm pre-nursing right now and plan to work L&D for a few years before midwifery school to become a CNM. Circ'ing my son is the biggest mistake I have ever made in my life and I couldn't possibly assist in a circumcision..just the idea is bringing tears to my eyes right now.
I would always assume that the parents just haven't had the information presented to them, and I know I would probably get in trouble for trying to inform them. UGH. I feel sick to my stomach.

~e, wife to my sweet T partners.gif, mama to my turtleman (8) , sunshine (6 vbac.gif), and monkey (2)
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#6 of 28 Old 10-22-2006, 04:13 PM
 
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I just copy and pasted this and e-mailed it to everyone on my contact list....
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#7 of 28 Old 10-22-2006, 04:19 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Telle Bear View Post
AHHHH!! I feel like I haven't quite come as far as you folks... I read these stories and then I read the following remarks.

Everyone seems sad for the baby (which I feel as well), however my first reaction is PURE anger!! My heart starts to pound and I start reading faster and skipping parts because I become overwhelmed with anger towards the doctor and the parents.

I put myself in her position and see myself screaming at the parents...GOOD JOBS @$$h*le$!! Great way to start being caring (ha) parents!!
ditto.

Reneé, 34 year old mom to Antonin 8/04 and Arianna 9/06  (6 weeks) 5/08. Married to Matt since 6/03 .  
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#8 of 28 Old 10-22-2006, 06:35 PM
 
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Wow.

I posted it as a Myspace bulletin.

Carly [29] + DH [27] + DS [9]

TTC my second and his first!

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#9 of 28 Old 10-22-2006, 07:41 PM
 
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Thanks for posting
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#10 of 28 Old 10-22-2006, 09:34 PM
 
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Seriously, I wish she had punched that doctor in the eye, kneed him in the nuts as hard as she possible could (possibly multiple times), and THEN left.
I read stuff like that and I want nothing more than to beat the out of these doctors. Over and over and over again.
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#11 of 28 Old 10-22-2006, 09:50 PM
 
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I posted it on my myspace bullentin. Some of you are my myspace friends so sorry for the duplicate! I am kind of nervous to see if anyone says anything to me.

Blessed mama of four
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#12 of 28 Old 10-22-2006, 10:10 PM
 
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This part

Quote:
Originally Posted by baybee View Post
As I recall the screams of pain
and terror.. his small lungs barely able to keep up with the cries.
really got to me. I know what she means by their lungs not beng able to keep up with their cries. My son does that sometimes when he really hurts himself or gets *really* upset. He did it just last night when someone at the store upset him. It's kind of scary because for about 3 seconds in between each breath, you are really worried they are going to choke or hyperventilate or something. He never did it as a newborn because he was never hurt or really upset as a newborn. I can't even imagine how much scarier it would be to hear a newborn struggling to breathe while screaming like that.

You KNOW something is very, very wrong when your child screams like that. I know when my son just does a little fuss cry, sometimes I wait a minute to see if he really hurt himself or is actually upset (now that he's almost two, he often gets just lets out a little cry and then goes back to what he was doing), but when I hear THAT cry, I RUN to him. I can't imagine what it would do to him to be crying like that and be strapped down and nobody helping him...only hurting him more.

I need to some more for the little babies!
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#13 of 28 Old 10-22-2006, 10:24 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blarg View Post
Seriously, I wish she had punched that doctor in the eye, kneed him in the nuts as hard as she possible could (possibly multiple times), and THEN left.
I read stuff like that and I want nothing more than to beat the out of these doctors. Over and over and over again.
I know exactly how you feel. I don't believe I could be held responsible for my actions if I were in the same room as those monsters - or the monster that cut me.
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#14 of 28 Old 10-22-2006, 10:52 PM
 
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Quote:
or the monster that cut me.
Dunno about that. I'd have to find out if he was a jolly, "Ha ha! We get to cut off this kid's foreskin, won't this be fun! Oh, isn't that cute, the baby's screaming his head off. Circumcision is awesome!" type of mutilator, or a "Dammit, why are we doing this?" type.

If the former... well, I imagine I'd start by trying to convince him that he's terribly, terribly wrong in what he's doing. And when that (most likely) fails... well, I'd probably kick him in the nuts (perhaps over and over again if I got particularly emotional). And then I might stick one of these on his penis just for good measure.

If he was the latter type, then I'd want a damned good apology.
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#15 of 28 Old 10-22-2006, 11:16 PM
 
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: I cannot believe this is still legal

love and peace.

mama to two girls and due in November!
: Circumcision can never be undone :
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#16 of 28 Old 10-23-2006, 01:00 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Doctors do know that the nurses hate them for doing it. I've seen it discussed
on the ob/gyn list. I think they make dumb jokes because they know how bad
it is and they feel so much guilt that they try to lighten it up in some way.

I also think they're trying to check out which nurses are "for" or "against"
it by coming out with that crap. Nurses don't realize what power they have.
Baybee
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#17 of 28 Old 10-23-2006, 01:16 AM
 
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I remember with great detail watching a circ in nursing school. I was 19 at the time, it was the worst experience. I remember thinking that I never was going to work in any area of nursing where I'd ever have to watch such suffering.

There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.
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#18 of 28 Old 10-23-2006, 01:19 AM
 
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I'm off to post this in my myspace bullitin.

Dawn, mama to D (3.06) & N (9.07) C (11.09) & Still-in-shock surprise due in Aug!
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#19 of 28 Old 10-23-2006, 04:20 AM
 
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Wow, that is so simple and yet so powerful. My stomach is churning right now and I thought I was going back to sleep with DH, but now will go in with DS, just to watch him.

My only other thought on this is: the doctor was a man, right? How do we reconcile, as intactivists, the fact that he was/is most likely circumcised himself? I feel some compassion for him and all male doctors who circ, because it just seems like some big cycle of abuse, kwim? The, "Well, it happened to me and I'm fine" syndrome, when really, they have no idea how much it did affect them deep down and on a visceral level and because they themselves have been victimized, they have trouble indentifying with and feeling compassion for the newest victim.

Has that ever been discussed? I'd like to hear others' opinions on it.

*~* A * Mama to C and A * *~* I blog - PM me for the URL
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#20 of 28 Old 10-23-2006, 01:45 PM
 
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I could/would ever go into nursing if I was required to watch even a single circ (as part of my training, for example). I would flat-out refuse.

A friend of mine is training to become a nurse, and refused to watch a circumcision being performed. She was the only one in her class to do so. Afterwards the doctor went up to her and told her he was proud of her for standing up for her convictions like that. Yeah, but not enough to stop circ'ing! :
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#21 of 28 Old 10-23-2006, 04:37 PM
 
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I just got a GREAT reply on myspace from someone I went to highschool with. I was so scared when I saw it in my inbox, I really thought I was gonna get slammed (since I know she has a son, and is in nursing school)

I re-worded it so I can post it.

That is exactally why my son was NOT circed. I am currently going to nursing school I want to bring some humanity and compassion back into nursing. We don't have to be nameless machines. We can be people and care about other people.

WOO-HOO!

Dawn, mama to D (3.06) & N (9.07) C (11.09) & Still-in-shock surprise due in Aug!
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#22 of 28 Old 10-24-2006, 01:21 AM
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okay i REALLY REALLY need to gather my guts and show this to my brother who is finishing up his residency as an internal medicne doctor.

im usually intimidated by him( dont know why hes VERY NICE etc. but whenver we get into conversations he thinks that i dont know sometthig ) but please i ask of everyone to give me stregnth to give this to him

i know deep down hes a person who doesnt want any of this, he adores children! one reason he didnt want to become a pediatrician was because he couldnt take seeing the children in thier metal cribs who were with cancer etc.

my mom is a homeopathci doctor and didnt allow this to happen to me, or him and understandds this


i hope that this letter and the video can be shown to him (if he doesnt know about this)


but what i dont get is how they think that the foreskin causses infection?!?!?!
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#23 of 28 Old 10-24-2006, 01:25 AM
 
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Yay, I got a positive response back, too! I was so scared when I sent it out but I got a great reply back saying "Preach it, sister!" She said she saw her friend's newborn right after he had been circ'ed and she said there is no way she would ever do that to her little boys.

Blessed mama of four
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#24 of 28 Old 10-24-2006, 01:27 AM
 
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I just got another positive reply! Nobody has had anything negative to say yet!

Dawn, mama to D (3.06) & N (9.07) C (11.09) & Still-in-shock surprise due in Aug!
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#25 of 28 Old 10-24-2006, 02:59 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hey suprakid, if you really want to send something amazing and really brainy to your med student brother, please send him a link to the film "The Prepuce". It is a film to educate medical students on the function and anatomy of the male foreskin (prepuce, technical term) and I have sent it far and wide to med professionals and received a tremendous response.

Here's the links:


(WMP, streaming) http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcisi...C/prepuce.html

(WMP, download) http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcisi...TSC_256k_D.wmv
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#26 of 28 Old 10-24-2006, 04:09 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by baybee View Post
Hey suprakid, if you really want to send something amazing and really brainy to your med student brother, please send him a link to the film "The Prepuce". It is a film to educate medical students on the function and anatomy of the male foreskin (prepuce, technical term) and I have sent it far and wide to med professionals and received a tremendous response.

Here's the links:


(WMP, streaming) http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcisi...C/prepuce.html

(WMP, download) http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcisi...TSC_256k_D.wmv

gratzie ! got it sending !

thanks !
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#27 of 28 Old 10-24-2006, 04:59 PM
 
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Just sent this message to my husband at work who still doesn't know what to think about my inactivism.
Thank you for sharing!
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#28 of 28 Old 10-24-2006, 06:03 PM
 
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I just sent a MySpace Bulletin, too! YAY!

I prefaced mine with the title: Halloween, Costumes and R.I.C.

and wrote:
Halloween is a time of costumes...so here you go...a little early:
Unanaesthetized Cosmetic Surgery Masquerading as Beneficial Medicine.

text

RIC = Routine Infant Circumcision

SAHPilot Mama to a 5yoson, a 17 mo old daughter, and wife to .
Worried about your baby's head shape? PM me for craniosynostosis info!
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