My best friend crc's her new son... sigh - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 14 Old 02-09-2007, 05:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh well. I just don't understand and I guess i am just supposed to nod and smile. Ugh Just needed to vent.
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#2 of 14 Old 02-09-2007, 05:57 PM
 
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Would you nod & smile if she burned him with cigarettes & presented that for your approval?

People need to learn that it's not acceptable, & a good shock like your dear best friend recoiling in horror & shock may be what it takes to save the next baby.
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#3 of 14 Old 02-09-2007, 06:15 PM
 
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I hear ya hon. Thank the goddess that my best friend from childhood took my emails and articles seriously and chose to not circ. I am not sure I could have remained friends with her if she had circed.
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#4 of 14 Old 02-09-2007, 06:20 PM
 
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Let her know how you feel about it if you haven't already. It's horrible... it's child abuse and sexual assault

love and peace.

mama to two girls and due in November!
: Circumcision can never be undone :
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#5 of 14 Old 02-09-2007, 06:59 PM
 
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I'm with you my cousin who recently circ'ed her 2nd son don't understand why I go so crazy at circumcision and I can't stand ignorant ppl who don't try to research and see the facts that are presented to them are still so denial in such ignorance that they let sexual assault come upon their precious lil baby!!!!!!!!!
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#6 of 14 Old 02-09-2007, 07:04 PM
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M, mom to DS1 (8 yrs), DS2 (5 yrs), and DS3 (2 yrs).

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#7 of 14 Old 02-09-2007, 07:59 PM
 
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It's not easy.
My good friend did it too. She's a vegetarian for animal rights reasons, yet she wants her son circ'd because she likes the way it looks but doesn't care if it hurts him : . She and her husband were separated at the beginning of the pregnancy, and it was totally her decision.
When she found out she was having a boy she KNEW I would say something because my boys are intact, even though we'd never discussed it, and so she brought it up first and in one breath basically said, "I know you think it's wrong to circumcise but I prefer it that way so he will be circumcised and I don't want to discuss it." What could I do. She didn't want to listen.
We remained friends, but never quite as close.

milk donation : mother to Ryan (6), AJ (5), Nate (2), Maia (1) all born at home, I have a kid-friendly food & bento blog, : :
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#8 of 14 Old 02-09-2007, 11:40 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by veganf View Post
It's not easy.
My good friend did it too. She's a vegetarian for animal rights reasons, yet she wants her son circ'd because she likes the way it looks but doesn't care if it hurts him : . She and her husband were separated at the beginning of the pregnancy, and it was totally her decision.
When she found out she was having a boy she KNEW I would say something because my boys are intact, even though we'd never discussed it, and so she brought it up first and in one breath basically said, "I know you think it's wrong to circumcise but I prefer it that way so he will be circumcised and I don't want to discuss it." What could I do. She didn't want to listen.
We remained friends, but never quite as close.

Wow! That is kind of sick...
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#9 of 14 Old 02-10-2007, 12:07 AM
 
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I'm sorry to hear that. Knowing that she did that would make it impossible for me to remain friends with her. I'd literally be ill every time I was around her, physically sick to my stomach.



- Kira
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#10 of 14 Old 02-10-2007, 12:18 AM
 
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I'm sorry for her little boy. I'm also sorry for your friendship.

Laura

mom to 3 home-born children, wife to a great guy joy.gif

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#11 of 14 Old 02-11-2007, 05:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TigerTail View Post
Would you nod & smile if she burned him with cigarettes & presented that for your approval?

People need to learn that it's not acceptable, & a good shock like your dear best friend recoiling in horror & shock may be what it takes to save the next baby.

Hey! I am in trouble!? I swear I'm on the "good" side!!:
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#12 of 14 Old 02-12-2007, 11:12 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by veganf View Post
"I know you think it's wrong to circumcise but I prefer it that way so he will be circumcised and I don't want to discuss it." What could I do. She didn't want to listen.
We remained friends, but never quite as close.
I Just. Don't. Get this. Is she planning on having sex with her son!??! My guess is probably not, so WhereTF does HER PREFERENCE come into play here?!?

:
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#13 of 14 Old 02-12-2007, 06:39 PM
 
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It's so hard when close friend's don't see the truth. My friend had a son a few months ago, before he was born she moved to Guam. Before she left we discussed circ and I explained to her why I kept my second son intact, she did a lot of nodding and seemed rather receptive. So after she left I sent an email and I asked her if she was planning to circ. She said that her Dh and her didn't feel strongly either way, so they would probably circ. I found this as the perfect opportunity to send her a long email and try to sway her decision.

A week after she got my email she thanked me and said her husband was reading over the information and they were going to discuss it. She never sent an email telling me what she chose to do, so I know she had him circed. They are very religious and I even sent her bible references showing that it wasn't necessary.

I just don't see how someone can have all that information infront of them and still choose to have it done. If someone had even mentioned that circ didn't need to be done, then I would have spared my first son. I wish I could have been in her place before he was born.
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#14 of 14 Old 02-13-2007, 12:32 PM
 
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I think it can be very difficult but I have many friends who don't make the same decisions I make. They are still my friends, they are doing what they believe is best, just as I am doing what I think is best. We can only choose for ourselves and our families.

I just vent here or to my DH.
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