What happens if you don't circumsize? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 63 Old 05-10-2007, 09:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I've heard that you have to 'clean' it...whatever that means! I had asked my MIL because she had 3 boys, that's what she said, but wouldnt' go into any details. She said it's less of a mess to circumsize, but I wonder. I don't want to, but do you have to do anything 'extra' with uncircumsized boys? :

Circ doesn't work! Stop the violence of circumcison. Had another UP/UC/HB in August!
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#2 of 63 Old 05-10-2007, 09:53 PM
 
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You just clean the outside, like you'd clean a finger. Pulling the foreskin back (aka retraction) is actually very dangerous and can damage the sensitive skin. Some boys retract naturally in toddlerhood, some at puberty, and some in between. There's never a reason to retract before it retracts on its own (or he plays with it and retracts it himself.)

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#3 of 63 Old 05-10-2007, 09:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Really? That's the big deal? LOL! Geez, thanks for the info Ruthla! I figured it'd be some big problem if I didn't do it, my MIL doesn't like to talk about 'icky' stuff, I guess. I had heard earlier that you have to clean it with a q-tip, but she didn't say anything about that.

Circ doesn't work! Stop the violence of circumcison. Had another UP/UC/HB in August!
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#4 of 63 Old 05-10-2007, 10:01 PM
 
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Truthfully, DH and I were a little nervous when we brought DS#1 home that we wouldn't know how to "take care of it." It turns out that there's nothing to it - no worries at all. You can't even retract a baby or young boy to clean underneath the foreskin, so you just wipe down the outside. Once he gets old enough to retract on his own (usually by school-age, but sometimes not until puberty), then he (or you, if he's still little) just give it a rinse in the shower or bath. From what I understand, it would take a long time without rinsing for a man to get a huge buildup of smegma under there like the "horror stories" you hear.

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#5 of 63 Old 05-10-2007, 10:36 PM
 
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This is timely for me. I just gave birth to our second son a few days ago, and he will remain intact. I was wondering about the practical side of this; our first son was circed, which I deeply regret, and I only have experience caring for a circed penis. I know more this time, so it won't happen again.

So in a nutshell, I just leave it alone, correct? How do I know if there is a reason to do anything different with it?
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#6 of 63 Old 05-10-2007, 10:57 PM
 
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in 6 and 4 years of having sons nothing has 'come up' - they've been washing themselves in the tub since they were wee toddlers. nothing could be easier.
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#7 of 63 Old 05-10-2007, 11:04 PM
 
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Yep, just wipe like a finger, nothing to it. There's tons of goods info in the stickies at the top of this forum, I hope you will read it!

OUR DAUGHTERS ARE PROTECTED SHOULDN'T OUR SONS BE TOO! :
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#8 of 63 Old 05-10-2007, 11:07 PM
 
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your MIL was probably referring to retracting which isn't safe but it is what people used to do. I think that is where people get the idea that being intact means more infections...it is only true b/c years ago those intact boys were being retracted and washed underneath and that can cause infections. Being left intact just means you don't have to put vaseline on a wounded newborn penis. You don't' have to worry that he might stick to his diaper. You don't have to see his glans. He will be all protected and you do nothing more than wash him off like any other part. No pain involved...no extra work.

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I just gave birth to our second son a few days ago, and he will remain intact.


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our first son was circed, which I deeply regret,

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#9 of 63 Old 05-10-2007, 11:09 PM
 
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Cleaning an intact child is actually easier than cleaning a wounded circ'd child. As another poster stated if you can clean your finger you can clean a normal penis. A child who has had part of his penis cut-off needs extra-special care and concern. After he "heals" you have to worry about "adhessions" (very common).

An intact child enjoys a happy beginning without any trauma to his person and has no horrific wound that gets irritated by his urine and poop. He also never has to deal with ahessions.
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#10 of 63 Old 05-10-2007, 11:28 PM
 
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I must say how true this is. My boys are circ'ed, although the boy I'm carrying right now will NOT BE CUT. The infant I babysit is intact. NEver fails that I have to change both my toddler's poopy diaper AND the baby's at the same time. Takes me f-o-r-e-v-e-r to clean MT's diaper area, the stuff gets all stuck up around the scar, on the tip and all over. Baby gets a quick wipe with a warm washcloth and he's done.

DH asked me the other day "why don't you pull it back to clean inside". !!!!!! Well, nothing GETS inside, so why pull it back?
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#11 of 63 Old 05-10-2007, 11:46 PM
 
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much easier than fingers, no nail to scrub under!
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#12 of 63 Old 05-10-2007, 11:53 PM
 
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Here are a couple of pamphlets so you can compare circ and intact penis care side by side.
http://www.nocirc.org/publish/4pam.pdf
http://www.nocirc.org/publish/5pam.pdf

Intact=easy peasy
Circ=not so much

Good luck!
Tara

Tara Momma to Callum and Gavin
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#13 of 63 Old 05-11-2007, 12:05 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gardenmommy View Post
This is timely for me. I just gave birth to our second son a few days ago, and he will remain intact. I was wondering about the practical side of this; our first son was circed, which I deeply regret, and I only have experience caring for a circed penis. I know more this time, so it won't happen again.

So in a nutshell, I just leave it alone, correct? How do I know if there is a reason to do anything different with it?
Yep you just leave it alone. If something does come up it will be apparent pretty fast. Infections tho rare do happen but just like if it was a girl who had the infection you treat it with medication. Yeast same thing a good OTC cream will clear up yeast pretty fast.

The foreskin is actually fused to the head of the penis like the fingernail is to the finger so you can imagine the pain and trauma you would be causing if you tried to retract him.

Be sure to read the sticky's at the top of the main CAC page "A Warning To Parents Of Intact Sons" and "The Definiton of Retraction & Why it is BAD!!" Always tell anyone Dr. family etc. to never push back on the foreskin for any reason. Even a tiny bit can cause mirco tears and let bacteria in.

Your ds should be the first and only one to ever mess with it. I cant stress how important this one simple rule is.

 
SAHMlady.gifread.giflovin' trekkie.giffan intactivist.gifwinner.jpg to loveeyes.gifenergy.gifDD 10/00 & superhero.gifmoon.gifDS 10/04 ribbonpb.gifIf your ds is intact, keep him safe, visit the Case Against Circ forumnocirc.gifCirc, a personal choice, Your sonsyes.gifbrokenheart.gif11/98brokenheart.gif6/99ribbonbrown.gifanti-tobaccoribbonyellow.gifThyroid cancer survivor. With cat.gif& goldfish.gif & (Boxer)dog2.gif wishing 4 whale.gif&ribbonwhite.gifsigncirc1.gifselectivevax.gifdelayedvax.gif

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#14 of 63 Old 05-11-2007, 12:10 AM
 
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to gardenmommy:

here are some great brochures that you should look over:

http://www.nocirc.org/publish/

(see #4, #6 and #8 )
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#15 of 63 Old 05-11-2007, 12:30 AM
 
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Doing something special is news to me!!

I have two intact boys and I've never done a thing. Ever. Boys penises are made to be uncut.

I would think that having an open wound on your baby's genitals in a diaper where urine and poop are going to be would be more of a problem than an uncut penis. : Gross.
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#16 of 63 Old 05-11-2007, 01:41 AM
 
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It requires no extra maintenance at all. I just had a girl, and boy oh boy....her bits require A LOT more attention than my son's intact penis ever has. Folds and crevices and poop OH MY!!
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#17 of 63 Old 05-11-2007, 01:45 AM
 
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Originally Posted by frenchie View Post
It requires no extra maintenance at all. I just had a girl, and boy oh boy....her bits require A LOT more attention than my son's intact penis ever has. Folds and crevices and poop OH MY!!
ME TOO!!!

I always have the feeling that I'm invading her privacy!

Off topic, I know...I apologize (but couldn't resist!)
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#18 of 63 Old 05-11-2007, 01:49 AM
 
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Having changed the diapers of both (my much younger brothers are circumcised and my friends' sons are intact) - I have to agree with everyone else that cleaning intact babies is MUCH easier! The foreskin makes the penis all smooth so there are no ridges or anything to have to clean behind.

The only person who should EVER retract the foreskin is the boy himself. If he becomes retractile before he's old enough to pull his foreskin forward over the glans (aka - if you change his diaper and notice that his foreskin has pulled back which is very rare, but it can happen) then you should pull it forward over the glans again before putting his diaper back on, but you should NEVER pull it back and you should never let anyone else (other than your son, of course) pull it back either.

The foreskin is fused to the glans like fingernails are fused to the fingers. Just like nothing gets under the fingernails without quite a bit of pain and force (the part that's fused at least I'm not talking about the bits that stick off on the end - of course stuff gets under there!), nothing gets under the foreskin either.

love and peace.

mama to two girls and due in November!
: Circumcision can never be undone :
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#19 of 63 Old 05-11-2007, 01:49 AM
 
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To be clear, NOBODY except the boy himself should ever try to retract his foreskin. This even applies to doctors and nurses who (if you're in the US) may be ignorant of the normal anatomy since many studied from anatomy texts which depicted the penis as if babies are born circumcised.

BE PREPARED to forcefully assert and insist on no forced retraction with caregivers and health professionals.

Cheers,

-Ron
HIS body, HIS decision.
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#20 of 63 Old 05-11-2007, 01:55 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Ron_Low View Post
To be clear, NOBODY except the boy himself should ever try to retract his foreskin. This even applies to doctors and nurses who (if you're in the US) may be ignorant of the normal anatomy since many studied from anatomy texts which depicted the penis as if babies are born circumcised.
: Read the sticky "A Warning for Parents of Intact Boys" Apparently some of the textbooks even depict babies in utero as being circumcised :

love and peace.

mama to two girls and due in November!
: Circumcision can never be undone :
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#21 of 63 Old 05-11-2007, 01:58 AM
 
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Originally Posted by attachedmamaof3 View Post
Doing something special is news to me!!

I have two intact boys and I've never done a thing. Ever. Boys penises are made to be uncut.

I would think that having an open wound on your baby's genitals in a diaper where urine and poop are going to be would be more of a problem than an uncut penis. : Gross.
Exactly!

If the glans was meant to be exposed, wouldn't people be born that way?

Interestingly, that's what some people actually think the difference is, until they're educated about it...If only it were like that.
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#22 of 63 Old 05-11-2007, 10:15 AM
 
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Even if something comes up, NO retraction should take place. That would actually make an infection worse. Make sure, if there is ever a need to take your son to a healthcare professional (including any routine well visits) that they know absolutely not to make any attempt to pull the foreskin towards his body AT ALL. We can't stress this enough. There are doctors who will say "oh, I won't retract" AS THEY'RE RETRACTING. They think if they don't pull it all the way back it doesn't "count". : ANY amount of retraction can cause damage. Your best bet is to just keep anyone from touching his penis unless there's a good good reason to. When they check the testicles for descention, you can lift the penis and keep your hand over it, that can help.
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#23 of 63 Old 05-11-2007, 10:23 AM
 
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I have found my daughter much harder to keep clean than my intact son. He is SUPER easy to keep clean! Just wash on the outside and for now, that is it.
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#24 of 63 Old 05-11-2007, 10:46 AM
 
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Originally Posted by gridley13 View Post
I have found my daughter much harder to keep clean than my intact son. He is SUPER easy to keep clean! Just wash on the outside and for now, that is it.
:

Having a boy is so much easier when it comes to cleaning .

Anyhow, I'll say I always find it so bizarre that people think there is some sort of "mysterious, complicated way" you have to clean an intact normal penis. Honestly, we're born that way, and if it was super complicated we wouldn't have survived as a species : . People are so incredible stupid and ignorant when it comes to this subject. I've heard it termed "cultural mass psychosis"...here in the US the last 2-3 generations the majority of men have been cut so now all of a sudden in the US the foreskin is something to be feared and disgusted by somehow. : So sad what the people in this country have allowed to be done to innocent little boys : .

Intact baby penises are also MUCH easier to clean that circumcised baby penises. No question about that for those of us whove babysat/changed friend's kiddos. With circumcised often you find they get poop in the abnormal folds of skin, AND on the glans in the urinary opening. It's not just a simple wipe then like it is with the intact penis. Just a recipe for disaster, and probably why circumcised babies have 8 times more problems with penile inflamation (see that new study that was just posted in this forum).

Pretty much all Europe is intact, as is most of the world. There's no more issues with intact genetalia on men than there are with intact genetalia on women....IN FACT...women have more issues with our intact genetalia. Though, of course in our country we don't cut girl parts off for something that could be treated with antibiotics/creams/etc.

Anyhow...I know you're not circing (yippie) but I wanted to share this so that you could know more to respond to the ignorant people in your lives who may say something obnoxious and ridiculous about the intact penis and its care.

Perpetually breastfeeding or pregnant ENFP mom to a lot of kids...wife to a midwestern nice guy...living in tropical paradise...pink cats and homebirths rock!

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#25 of 63 Old 05-11-2007, 10:52 AM
 
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What happens if you don't circumsize?

nothing, i don't even know anyone who has been circumcised
you just wipe to clean

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#26 of 63 Old 05-11-2007, 07:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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The way I feel after going to my prenatal appt today, the staff and doctors are so uncaring that I wouldn't want them touching him, let alone doing a circumcision. :

Circ doesn't work! Stop the violence of circumcison. Had another UP/UC/HB in August!
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#27 of 63 Old 05-12-2007, 12:00 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tammyswanson View Post
I've heard that you have to 'clean' it...whatever that means! I had asked my MIL because she had 3 boys, that's what she said, but wouldnt' go into any details. She said it's less of a mess to circumsize, but I wonder. I don't want to, but do you have to do anything 'extra' with uncircumsized boys? :
My intact BF just answered this for you:

"Umm... nothing." Then after I laughed he said matter-of-factly, "Nothing happens.... Well?"

By the way, he is 47.

My personal experience with my two intact boys (9 1/2 and 5 1/2) is basically- the same. The only problem is if you get a doctor or nurse who wants to retract the boy's foreskin. That causes damage and infection- not the other way around!
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#28 of 63 Old 05-12-2007, 02:21 AM
 
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Originally Posted by tammyswanson View Post
The way I feel after going to my prenatal appt today, the staff and doctors are so uncaring that I wouldn't want them touching him, let alone doing a circumcision. :
: Jerks! How many weeks are you? If you're not comfortable with them, I would definitely recommend finding a new one. Midwives are (usually) great and more caring and personal...and many do hospital births if you need to or prefer to birth in a hospital.

I'm sure they all got it covered, but to reitterate. My son is intact and I clean it like I do his finger, or the way I would a healed circ'd penis. It's much harder to clean a healing circ'd penis. And by the time his foreskin retracts, I'll just teach him to pull back and rinse. To be perfectly honest, I worry more about any daughters incorrectly cleaning their vagina since that poses more "risk" than an intact penis...but of course I didn't even consider cutting off the labia even though that would make it "easier." lol

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#29 of 63 Old 05-12-2007, 08:59 AM
 
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What happens when you don't circumcise? I ended up with two grown sons who are VERY grateful to me for leaving them intact! They know how rare that is around here.
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#30 of 63 Old 05-12-2007, 01:13 PM
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Originally Posted by tammyswanson View Post
What happens if you don't circumsize?
You will have a wonderful, whole, perfect baby who avoided the horror and life long damage of circumcision because his mom was smart!

You (or anyone else) should never ever retract him. Just clean it as a finger. Make sure you make it very clear to your MIL and everybody else who may help you to bath your son or change his diaper.

Also please read this thread http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=129378 and do take it very seriously as most doctors/nurses are unbelievably ignorant about the whole foreskin issue : .

yulia.
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