Some people just don't get it.... - Mothering Forums

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Old 05-22-2007, 02:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So I've been involved in various circ discussions "elsewhere". Lots of women claiming their dh is circ'd and their sex life is fine, so it obviously won't be an issue for thier ds's, etc. Then, later on there is talk of "do you O with penitration" and a vast majority of these women say no. Um, correlation???? How blind do you have to be to realize that circ might just be the reason? I really don't get some people!

Happily married to my dh, mama to ds1 (01/2005), ds2 (07/2007)  and dd (07/2009).
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Old 05-22-2007, 02:56 PM
 
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Correlation does not equal causation. I'm anti-circ, but I don't think the sex issue is as clear-cut (no pun intended!) as you're making it out to be.
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Old 05-22-2007, 03:10 PM
 
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Correlation does not equal causation. I'm anti-circ, but I don't think the sex issue is as clear-cut (no pun intended!) as you're making it out to be.
I have to wonder about this too. I do hope all my friends with circed partners still enjoy sex and have regular orgasms during sex, but it's hardly something I am going to ask if only to avoid pointing their sex lives might not be all that.

I wish there was a survey about sexual satisfaction amongst intact versus circed men & their partners. Is there?
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Old 05-22-2007, 03:11 PM
 
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Correlation does not equal causation. I'm anti-circ, but I don't think the sex issue is as clear-cut (no pun intended!) as you're making it out to be.
To be fair, she did say that it MIGHT have something to do with it, not that it absolutely did. And it might.
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Old 05-22-2007, 03:37 PM
 
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I think the arguement of "just fine" always falls a little flat - just because YOU have something and YOU'RE ok, doesn't make that an ok practice for everyone, kwim? Like the ff baby that is healthy, the circed man with a great sex life, the kid who gets spanked all the time and grows up to be a great adult, etc. That people survive and do the best through crap that others do to them is a testament to human resiliance and adaptability, not an excuse to continue doing crappy things to others.
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Old 05-22-2007, 04:04 PM
 
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All I know is that my friends who have been with both, overwhelmingly prefer intact Hearing that and reading some of the stories on this board - I have absolutely no desire to experience circumcised intercourse.

love and peace.

mama to two girls and due in November!
: Circumcision can never be undone :
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Old 05-22-2007, 04:14 PM
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I wouldn't pursue that argument.


Signed,

Wife of an intact man who does not O with penetration (as a large portion of the population doesn't)
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Old 05-22-2007, 04:15 PM
 
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I guess I'm one of those "dh is circ'd and their sex life is fine" people. We didn't circ our baby and don't believe in routine circumcision, but DH's lack of a foreskin hasn't caused either of us any problems.
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Old 05-22-2007, 04:57 PM
 
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I wouldn't pursue that argument.


Signed,

Wife of an intact man who does not O with penetration (as a large portion of the population doesn't)
Ditto.
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Old 05-22-2007, 04:58 PM
 
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I don't know how acceptable it is to get graphic around here, but I do need to ask because this is something I have neither heard nor experienced, and I've been sexually active for over thirty years. This is a serious question...I am honestly curious.

Painful, irritating intercourse for a woman because her male partner is circumcised? How does this happen?
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Old 05-22-2007, 05:03 PM
 
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I don't know how acceptable it is to get graphic around here, but I do need to ask because this is something I have neither heard nor experienced, and I've been sexually active for over thirty years. This is a serious question...I am honestly curious.

Painful, irritating intercourse for a woman because her male partner is circumcised? How does this happen?
http://www.nzma.org.nz/journal/116-1181/595/

http://www.healthcentral.com/drdean/408/60750.html

http://mensightmagazine.com/Articles...p/lovecirc.htm

http://www.cirp.org/library/anatomy/ohara/

Read those, they are very enlightening.
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Old 05-22-2007, 05:07 PM
 
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can you give me the highlights? What's been your experience?
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Old 05-22-2007, 05:54 PM
 
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I'm the odd duck who has great....youknow: .....with a cic'd partner.....

That being said, I do wonder what I'm missing..... and yes, lube is often a necessary part of..... youknow: ....

~ Kim

mama to E (01-2007) and wife to C

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Old 05-22-2007, 06:02 PM
 
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I've yet to find anyone who is able to explain to me HOW a penis works without a foreskin... circumcised men say "just fine." Women who have been with both say "not so well." or "just fine." depending on their experience. I just wanna know the mechanics of how on earth intercourse works without a foreskin involved. It just doesn't make any sense to me... it's such an integral part... :

love and peace.

mama to two girls and due in November!
: Circumcision can never be undone :
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Old 05-22-2007, 06:07 PM
 
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Painful, irritating intercourse for a woman because her male partner is circumcised? How does this happen?
This site explains it in detail--
http://**************************
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Old 05-22-2007, 06:23 PM
 
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This site explains it in detail--
http://**************************
It says:

an abnormally hardened penis head and shaft that "feels like you're being poked with a broomstick", abrasive, elongated thrusting that pumps lubrication out of your vagina faster than you can make it, chafing irritation, friction burn, soreness, discomfort (even pain), frustrating sex, constantly feeling "out of sync" with your partner, rough, tough, even pounding, bang-away thrusting, and when it’s over, you think, ‘Thank God he finally came'.

Horrible. Sounds like lack of ability, though, not lack of foreskin.
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Old 05-22-2007, 06:25 PM
 
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much to the dismay of our shrinking violet host...we got to talking about sex and O and someone said "oh its impossible, women can't O like that", referring to just plain vanilla sex. I piped up "uh yeah it is", and then a friend of mine, who has an intact son, said it was because my DH isn't circ'd. Anecdotal, but I was the only one in the room with an intact DH, and the only one who O's during regular sex.
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Old 05-22-2007, 06:26 PM
 
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I've yet to find anyone who is able to explain to me HOW a penis works without a foreskin... circumcised men say "just fine." Women who have been with both say "not so well." or "just fine." depending on their experience. I just wanna know the mechanics of how on earth intercourse works without a foreskin involved. It just doesn't make any sense to me... it's such an integral part... :

love and peace.
I hear there are movies you can watch....
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Old 05-22-2007, 06:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I wasn't saying causation. Just possible correlation for some. Seemed silly to me that "everything is fine and circ doesn't effect their sex lives" and then they go on to complain about their sex lives and difficulty achieving Os. Without a thought to the fact that just maybe circ has something to do with the dissatisfaction in their "everything is fine" intimate life, kwim? And I most definitely would not use it as an arguement at all, just thought it was ironic. Especially since many women were using the "my sex life is fine" against the argument that circ can affect one's sexual function (for the male in particular, but still).

Happily married to my dh, mama to ds1 (01/2005), ds2 (07/2007)  and dd (07/2009).
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Old 05-22-2007, 06:31 PM
 
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Well, not to get too graphic, dh is circumcised, and our sex life is great. No issues with painful sex, lubrication, etc.

That said, I think that you could pose the question- If it is this good now, how spectacular could it have been if all the parts were still there?

Homeschooling mom of 2 rambunctious, loving, spectacular boys, wife to an incredible man who has been my best friend on this journey <3

 

 

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Old 05-22-2007, 06:41 PM
 
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My DH is circ'd and I NEVER O during intercourse. I often wonder what I am missing out on, but after he restores I might be sadly disappointed and still not O during intercourse. Who knows. He is the only person I have ever been with so I have nothing to compare to.

: Robyn : Increasingly crunchy Mama to Kya (8) , Makena (7) , and Keegan (4) :
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Old 05-22-2007, 06:45 PM
 
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Well, not to get too graphic, dh is circumcised, and our sex life is great. No issues with painful sex, lubrication, etc.

That said, I think that you could pose the question- If it is this good now, how spectacular could it have been if all the parts were still there?
Lord, honey, I might never want to leave the house!
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Old 05-22-2007, 06:55 PM
 
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Lord, honey, I might never want to leave the house!
This is absolutely not a joke for many of us who suffer sexual dysfunction as a direct result of our partner's circumcision. There are more of us than you might think.

Here are two threads here if you're interesting in reading more.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=672343

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=469671
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Old 05-22-2007, 06:59 PM
 
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This is absolutely not a joke for many of us who suffer sexual dysfunction as a direct result of our partner's circumcision. There are more of us than you might think.

Here are two threads here if you're interesting in reading more.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=672343

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=469671
I was laughing at myself. I wasn't ridiculing those who experience sexual dysfunction. In the thread that was pulled, matter of fact, I expressed sympathy for those with the problem.
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Old 05-22-2007, 07:02 PM
 
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Old 05-22-2007, 07:04 PM
 
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what is your problem, Tiger Tail? If you have something to say to me, go ahead and say it, and dispense with the chickish passive-aggressive behavior. You tossed snark at me in the other thread, too.
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Old 05-22-2007, 07:06 PM
 
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This is absolutely not a joke for many of us who suffer sexual dysfunction as a direct result of our partner's circumcision. There are more of us than you might think.

Here are two threads here if you're interesting in reading more.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=672343

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=469671

Olive, I read your post in the second thread you linked. Posting that took courage, and I admire you for it. I hope for the best for you.
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Old 05-22-2007, 07:09 PM
 
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This is absolutely not a joke for many of us who suffer sexual dysfunction as a direct result of our partner's circumcision. There are more of us than you might think.
I think we can all agree that circumcision negatively affects the sex lives of many- all to different degrees. I feel sad for those who are hurt so deeply by this horrible practice. But for those who seem to feel unaffected by it, many (including my dh, at one time) have the attitude of , well, since I'm okay, then its okay to do it. They do not understand that others are more deeply affected than they were.
For them (especially the men, who seem to be so sensitive on the subject) I say fine- its good now, but how much better could it be, for them and for their partners?
It was not meant as a joke- I'm sorry if you were offended.
But I have to admit, a little humor was not unwelcome for me.

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Old 05-22-2007, 07:15 PM
 
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But for those who seem to feel unaffected by it, many (including my dh, at one time) have the attitude of , well, since I'm okay, then its okay to do it. They do not understand that others are more deeply affected than they were.

Guilty as charged, and well put. I'm glad to have discovered this section of the board because I honestly had no idea folks suffered the way Olive so bravely described. It is very sad.
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Old 05-22-2007, 07:23 PM
 
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But for those who seem to feel unaffected by it, many (including my dh, at one time) have the attitude of , well, since I'm okay, then its okay to do it. They do not understand that others are more deeply affected than they were.
I suggest that they think that they are unaffected, because they don't realize what they are missing. Also, I suspect that circumcised men have shorter sex lives than intact men. They lose sensation and bit by bit, need more stimulation to complete and eventually all the parts just don't work...much more quickly than happens in intact men.

Also, the older women get, the drier they get, which is the point at which the lack of lubricating skin becomes sorely missed and I mean sorely.
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