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Old 06-13-2007, 02:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm 16 weeks pregnant with no.1, a boy. I was visiting family this weekend, who I never see, and my aunt told me, out of the blue, to be sure to get the boy circumcised. I have no plans to do this; husband is not circumcised, and I see no reason to cut off a piece of my son's body. So I asked her why I should. She said that it's much cleaner.

Whatever. Here's what almost made me lose my lunch.

She has guardianship of her 11-year-old grandson. She said she just took him in a month ago to be circumcised, because he kept getting infections.

That poor boy! Imagine, instead of taking the time to teach him how to stay clean, they just cut the thing off! How traumatic!

She just looked so proud, like she had done him a huge favor.
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Old 06-13-2007, 02:38 PM
 
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Originally Posted by dcgrl View Post
I'm 16 weeks pregnant with no.1, a boy. I was visiting family this weekend, who I never see, and my aunt told me, out of the blue, to be sure to get the boy circumcised. I have no plans to do this; husband is not circumcised, and I see no reason to cut off a piece of my son's body. So I asked her why I should. She said that it's much cleaner.

Whatever. Here's what almost made me lose my lunch.

She has guardianship of her 11-year-old grandson. She said she just took him in a month ago to be circumcised, because he kept getting infections.

That poor boy! Imagine, instead of taking the time to teach him how to stay clean, they just cut the thing off! How traumatic!

She just looked so proud, like she had done him a huge favor.
One wonders what HIS reaction was to it. Maybe she fed him lies first. Nice way to help a boy's self-esteem, too.
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Old 06-13-2007, 02:40 PM
 
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That poor boy.

Mightymoo - Mom to DD (6) and DS (4)
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Old 06-13-2007, 02:43 PM
 
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what did you say to her?? OMG, i can't imagine i would even have the right words for someone that told me that she had just circ'd a child that old. that poor boy. sick, just sick.

maybe we should send her our unsolicited opinions. guh.

~helen~ mama to 5 yo twins jonas and micah and my 2 yo baby boy eli
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Old 06-13-2007, 02:54 PM
 
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what did you say to her?? OMG, i can't imagine i would even have the right words for someone that told me that she had just circ'd a child that old. that poor boy. sick, just sick.

maybe we should send her our unsolicited opinions. guh.
Yes. And now there's one more person who, in 10 years, or 20 years, will be saying he "HAD to get circumcised because of infections..."
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Old 06-13-2007, 03:13 PM
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What a U/A violation. :
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Old 06-13-2007, 03:34 PM
 
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I'm sure the Dr.('s) she took him to fed her the lies.
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Old 06-13-2007, 04:20 PM
 
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A former bf of my sister's was circed at age 14, b/c he'd had such terrible infections since about age 12. I don't know the specifics, but I do know that he was old enough to be involved in the decision process, and he chose the circumcision. The infections were apparently so frequent and so painful that he could not handle them.
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Old 06-13-2007, 04:37 PM
 
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I have to wonder WHAT the boy or his guardian were doing to his penis to cause such frequent infections? Using a harsh soap?

I would love to hear the grandson's version of this story....
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Old 06-13-2007, 04:42 PM
 
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A former bf of my sister's was circed at age 14, b/c he'd had such terrible infections since about age 12. I don't know the specifics, but I do know that he was old enough to be involved in the decision process, and he chose the circumcision. The infections were apparently so frequent and so painful that he could not handle them.
What sort of 'infections'? Infections can be treated with antibiotics. Penis reduction surgery seems a bit extreme. And at 14, imo, he was NOT capable of making such a life altering decision.
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Old 06-13-2007, 04:50 PM
 
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What sort of 'infections'? Infections can be treated with antibiotics. Penis reduction surgery seems a bit extreme. And at 14, imo, he was NOT capable of making such a life altering decision.
He probably had no idea what he was losing and wasn't treated properly with good parent follow up as far as making sure he did the treatments correctly.
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Old 06-13-2007, 05:27 PM
 
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Penile infections should be treated the same way vaginal infections are. First a swab to see exactly what the problem is then the proper abx used to cure it. So sick that Dr. would actually concent to do a surgery like this for no reasons other than ignorence on their parts and I am sure a big part of it is greed.

 
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Old 06-13-2007, 07:28 PM
 
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As much as we intactivists feel that RIC should be illegal, mainstream America is not ready for that. HOWEVER...I am beyond appalled that it is still legal for a parent/guardian to take a boy of ELEVEN in for cosmetic surgery of ANY KIND, much less MGM. What is wrong with this country???? What would happen if I wanted to take my prepubescent daughter in to have her labia "prettied up"??? I'd lose custody and any doctor who performed such a surgery would lose his license.

I hope that boy sues the doctor and the grandmother when he turns 18.
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Old 06-13-2007, 09:00 PM
 
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I'd tell your aunt that it would streamline her cleaning process if she got circ'd too.
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Old 06-13-2007, 09:23 PM
 
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I'd tell your aunt that it would streamline her cleaning process if she got circ'd too.
good one! no nooks or crannies for germs to hide in. :

~helen~ mama to 5 yo twins jonas and micah and my 2 yo baby boy eli
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Old 06-13-2007, 11:57 PM
 
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I think we can frankly say that we are 99.9% sure that the problem was created by poor advice or had alternative treatments and was not something that really required circumcision.

It is sad that the perception is out there.

And, for what its worht, if it REALLY was a rare and legitimate problem that required the circumcision, the attitude wouldn't and shouldn't have been there. The doctor should have explained just how uncommon the problem was. .

Just so sad....

Jessica

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Old 06-14-2007, 08:54 AM
 
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Wow! Don't people see how bizarre that way of thinking is: "Oh, let's just go ahead and cut this piece of the body tha keeps getting infected!"
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Old 06-14-2007, 09:04 AM
 
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poor poor boy

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Old 06-14-2007, 09:35 AM
 
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That is so sad.
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Old 06-14-2007, 10:46 AM
 
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Originally Posted by christifav View Post
As much as we intactivists feel that RIC should be illegal, mainstream America is not ready for that. HOWEVER...I am beyond appalled that it is still legal for a parent/guardian to take a boy of ELEVEN in for cosmetic surgery of ANY KIND, much less MGM. What is wrong with this country???? What would happen if I wanted to take my prepubescent daughter in to have her labia "prettied up"??? I'd lose custody and any doctor who performed such a surgery would lose his license.

I hope that boy sues the doctor and the grandmother when he turns 18.
I have such problems with wishing family breakup over circumcision. I know circ is wrong, but why is it ok to say that we hope the child sues the parent/guardian? Why not say "I hope that boy is able to forgive his grandmother when he's older, and that she realizes the incredible mistake she's made on his behalf, and that they can both heal together". Why wish MORE pain and agony on the boy and his guardian? That makes no sense to me at all.
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Old 06-14-2007, 11:05 AM
 
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If a relative had my labia removed, I might sue them. In this boys case, I would probably recommend he request that the grandmother pay for all the following: artificial lube, restoration device (s), and any and all medical bills resulting from the genital mutilation in the future (such as getting skin bridges removed or the like).

Quote:
"I hope that boy is able to forgive his grandmother when he's older, and that she realizes the incredible mistake she's made on his behalf, and that they can both heal together".
I don't think you can script life like that. What if he doesn't want forgive? Perhaps he would want to move on but not forgive that his genitals were mutilated? And what about all the effect on his future sex life? Will he be able to discuss and forgive the chafting he feels with sex? The pain he may cause his future partner during intercourse?

I think it is ok to "hope", as you say, but I would recommend he take action if his grandmother does not take responsibility for her actions by aiding him with any and all results from this forced mutilation.

"Parents are simply trustees; they do not own the bodies of their children"-Norm Cohen  Martial arts instructor intactlact.gifhomebirth.jpgnak.gif and mom to 4: DD1 (1/05) DS (7/06) DD2 (5/08) DD3 (2/11)
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Old 06-14-2007, 06:01 PM
 
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I guess it's an over-arching issue I have with litigation in general. I don't see how it serves to promote the positive when it divides a family, as would be the case with something like this. And unless it made the evening news, it wouldn't even serve to educate the general public.

You say "waht if he doesn't want to forgive"? And I say "what if he doesn't want to sue?" Consider my perspective here - my oldest 2 boys are circed. As open and honest as I plan to be with them, I sure don't ever want anyone to encourage them to sue their parents for the mistake we made. And should a lawsuit over circumcision ever take place, I think there would have to be a lot more to the relationship that needed fixing than reconciliation regarding the circ itself.
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Old 06-14-2007, 06:09 PM
 
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I think it goes both ways. You want people not to say "I hope he sues" (maybe he wont want to). I think the feeling "he should sue" should be just as accepted as "I hope he forgives."

But if the man's life is changed for the worse, if something in his future, such as painful erections for his life, occurs...then the legal system is there for him. He may look to sue those who signed the consent or the doctor. Of course he could try to gain closure or compensation by dealing with is parents outside of the law. But, if it comes to the point where the law may be needed, I say go for it.

There are just so many things in the man's future that cannot be predicted now. But I would keep all options open to him. Sure, his relationship with his parents might haveto be bad in order for him to want to sue (I assume they would have to have denied him help with his problems, such as tight erections), but not all relationships are worth savings...

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Old 06-14-2007, 06:13 PM
 
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Also, your presence here demonstrates that you know the wrong of circumcision. I assume if your son came to you and told you of a chronic problem resulting from his circumcision, you would want to help him with that problem.

However, obviously not everyone is like this.

"Parents are simply trustees; they do not own the bodies of their children"-Norm Cohen  Martial arts instructor intactlact.gifhomebirth.jpgnak.gif and mom to 4: DD1 (1/05) DS (7/06) DD2 (5/08) DD3 (2/11)
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