circ'd vs. not--really!?! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 59 Old 08-22-2007, 04:06 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I tried to talk my SIL out of circ'ing her son, who was born in March. We went back and forth over the arguments and I gave her, thanks to several people on this board, lots of info. disproving her reasons why it was "necessary". She finally said, "she'd think about it and do some research of her own."
I never asked her what she ended up doing, I was pretty sure she would end up circ'ing him and I just didn't want to know. We don't see each other in person often, mostly communicate by email, but we finally got together. So at lunch she brought up the topic and this is what she told me.
She said that she had a friend that had two sons, each from a different marriage. The older boy was not circ'd, his dad was from a country that didn't do it. The younger son was circ'd, dad was American and wanted son to look like him. My SIL asked what differences her friend noticed between the boys regarding circ'd vs. not. Her friend told her, GET THIS, that she wished she had circ'd the eldest son because during the early years he played with it so much more than the circ'd son! My SIL said she just decided then that she would because she would not want to have to deal with that! I seriously can't believe it! I didn't know what to say and then she went on to tell me that her son didn't even cry and that they did give him an anesthetic so she "knows" it didn't hurt.
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#2 of 59 Old 08-22-2007, 04:36 AM
 
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So she decided that the fact that it reduced her son's pleasure was a good thing not a bad thing : : .

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#3 of 59 Old 08-22-2007, 08:11 AM
 
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poor little boy.

 
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#4 of 59 Old 08-22-2007, 08:17 AM
 
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My non-circ'd 2 y/o plays with himself a lot, too, but I truly believe that it's nature's way of getting him to start the process of foreskin retraction. He does a lot of pulling outward of the loose skin, which seems to me to be a much less painful way of loosening it than forced retraction.

Also, he's fascinated by his nipples, will rub them for comfort, or just pinch them absentmindedly...so by her logic I should have his nipples cut off, right? Afterall, they're just an unnecessary piece of skin...no biological purpose, and it embarasses me when he plays with them, especially in public.

Yep, that sounds perfectly logical to me.

WHAT?????? WHY do people try so hard to find reasons to mutilate their children????

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#5 of 59 Old 08-22-2007, 08:53 AM
 
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WHAT?????? WHY do people try so hard to find reasons to mutilate their children????
They like to have excuses to justify what they want to do in their mind even though they know in an intrinsic way that they shouldn't have the right to alter their child's bodies.

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#6 of 59 Old 08-22-2007, 09:12 AM
 
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I am telling you guys...it's a strange mass brainwashing thing going on...when you step back and think about it...what in the world?!?!?!?!? It's like someone just needs to POP the bubble. I can still "see" both sides of the arguments when I am talking to people since this is so recent for me...and really...she has just taken the severity out of the procedure completely and believe it or not...probably felt relief to have the circ done and overwith. We start to put the "problems" over the seriousness of what we are doing..no matter how small or large.
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#7 of 59 Old 08-22-2007, 10:00 AM
 
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I would like to add a reminder that there is only one country in the world that circumcises a majority of its infants for non-religious reasons.

Some Americans give the impression that they think that the whole western world is doing it.
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#8 of 59 Old 08-22-2007, 10:15 AM
 
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So at least some pro-circ advocates admit that they do circ to control their boy's sexuality. Sick.:
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#9 of 59 Old 08-22-2007, 11:15 AM
 
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and THAT is exactly why circ got started in the first place here in the USA. To curb the males sexuality/pleasure from the very beginning to the very end.
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#10 of 59 Old 08-22-2007, 11:18 AM
 
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Unbeleivable! Couldn't it be that one little boy played with himself more than the other just because he had a different personality? And since when is babies exploring their bodies anything but innocent?

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#11 of 59 Old 08-22-2007, 11:39 AM
 
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Ruthla: Unbeleivable! Couldn't it be that one little boy played with himself more than the other just because he had a different personality? And since when is babies exploring their bodies anything but innocent?

Hi Ruthla.

Foreskins are fun. Ask any little intact boy. So if they are not there you can't have any fun with it. As a boy or a man.
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#12 of 59 Old 08-22-2007, 01:32 PM
 
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I thought that masturbation hysteria had died out. Sad people.
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#13 of 59 Old 08-22-2007, 01:59 PM
 
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That is truly THE saddest reason I have ever heard, though I know that is why circ originally became so common in the US.

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#14 of 59 Old 08-22-2007, 01:59 PM
 
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Wow, people come up with some pretty messed-up reasons to circumcise. Didn't the masturbation excuse die out at the turn of the 20th century? Apparently not...
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#15 of 59 Old 08-22-2007, 02:06 PM
 
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When I had a US my midwife ( jokingly) said that seeing as the baby had it's hands between it's legs, it must surely be a boy because thats what boys do. They have an extre appendage, if I was a boy I'd probably play with myself all the time too. I can not believe that people think it's OK to cut away their kid's penis tot ry and stop this. Disgusting.

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#16 of 59 Old 08-22-2007, 03:31 PM
 
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Hmm. My daughter has her hands on herself WAY more than my intact son ever does. I've also babysat for plenty of circ'd boys that just could not quit playing with themselves. I honestly don't think intact vs not intact has anything to do with it. That poor little boy.

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#17 of 59 Old 08-22-2007, 03:57 PM
 
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Wow, people come up with some pretty messed-up reasons to circumcise. Didn't the masturbation excuse die out at the turn of the 20th century? Apparently not...
My thoughts exactly! I can't believe someone would actually circ for this reason.
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#18 of 59 Old 08-22-2007, 04:02 PM
 
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Woah, thats even worse than the "well I dont want him to look different". Some people:

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#19 of 59 Old 08-22-2007, 05:56 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Ruthla
Unbeleivable! Couldn't it be that one little boy played with himself more than the other just because he had a different personality? And since when is babies exploring their bodies anything but innocent?
I def. think this is the case. In an "age of retraction" discussion I've had with other moms, all with intact boys, there are some who like to pull and play a lot and others who just don't. I don't think any generalizations can be made that intact boys play more than circed boys -- it's very dependent on the boy, the family culture that encourages/discourages it, etc.

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#20 of 59 Old 08-22-2007, 08:45 PM
 
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Unbeleivable! Couldn't it be that one little boy played with himself more than the other just because he had a different personality?
I think so. My intact son hardly ever plays with his.
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#21 of 59 Old 08-22-2007, 09:15 PM
 
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I think she probably planned on circing the whole time and came up with that crazy excuse. I wonder how she will react if the boy happens to become a cronic masturbator. I do not know how I would have reacted if I was in your shoes but I would have lost all respect for her and I would have let her know it. Not so much because she circed but why she circed. It might not have hurt him but it did alter him for life.
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#22 of 59 Old 08-22-2007, 09:41 PM
 
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This reminds me of Dr. Fleiss' quote: "The antisexual motivations behind an operation that entails cutting off part of the penis are obvious."

Indeed.
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#23 of 59 Old 08-23-2007, 12:01 PM
 
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I think most of the circed men I know masturbate more than the intact ones....But I dont go around asking.... lol-

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#24 of 59 Old 08-23-2007, 01:45 PM
 
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I think most of the circed men I know masturbate more than the intact ones....But I dont go around asking.... lol-
I could have sworn I saw a study somewhere that showed this was true for adult men, but I don't remember where. I wouldn't think that what sexually active adult men needed would have all that much to do with what a baby/toddler found enjoyable though.

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#25 of 59 Old 08-23-2007, 01:57 PM
 
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Oh, vomit. :
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#26 of 59 Old 08-23-2007, 02:15 PM
 
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I hope he makes her eat crow by keeping his hand in his diaper all day, in public. :

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#27 of 59 Old 08-23-2007, 09:40 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Ruthla View Post
Unbeleivable! Couldn't it be that one little boy played with himself more than the other just because he had a different personality? And since when is babies exploring their bodies anything but innocent?

Probably. Though I could throw the opposite opinion in. Acutally dh did as a way to try and convince his friend not to circ their son. My oldest was circ'd, and he always has his hands on it. I mean allllllll of the time. Ds2 barely notices his when he is naked. He may check it out a bit and then he just leaves it alone. He notices it most when he is using it to pee on my floor. He also doesn't seem to get as many erections during changes, nor did he pee on me as often as his older brother. So by her theory I should never circ a child to keep them from playing with themselves. I tell people ds2 doesn't have to grab himself because he knows all of it is still there.
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#28 of 59 Old 08-23-2007, 09:57 PM
 
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I tell people ds2 doesn't have to grab himself because he knows all of it is still there.
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#29 of 59 Old 08-23-2007, 11:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I just quickly scanned through all the posts. I was truly disgusted by her reasoning. I thought about it later and had a lot of good replies I "should have" said. I truly believe that the friend's older, non-circ'd son, just played with it because it felt good!

My SIL and I don't see eye to eye on a lot of things and I was pretty sure she was going to circ no matter what I said. I just really thought I could convince her. :
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#30 of 59 Old 08-23-2007, 11:59 PM
 
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Well my nephew played with himself all the time, even in public, up to age 5 (or at least he stopped around us.) He's circ'd.

My intact son also really likes his little friend. it's just personality.

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