How does that fit in to the circumcision board? I had been undergoing these thinking changes about everything AP except for circumcision. My 2 year old is circ'ed, and I had hoped secretly that I was having a girl so I wouldn't have to make the decision again. I knew that if I researched circumcision I would not be happy with what I found, but my husband is circ'ed and (completely honest here) my ex-boyfriend was not. I guess deep in my mind that made non-circumcision "bad", as my ex was a bad person (I know this sounds juvenile. As I said, I wasn't aware of these feelings, only that I was uncomfortable with the idea of not circ'ing.) Of course, in May we found out that we are having a boy in October.
Last night I came to this board and clicked on a link showing pictures of a circumcision. My mouth dropped open. I called dh over to look at the pictures. He loves the AP style, but had always drawn the line at the thought of not circ'ing his boys. He looked at the pictures. He read your replies. He clicked on your links. After months of research on AP style he trusts Dr. Sears, and asked me what Dr. Sears had to say on the subject, which got us digging further for information.
He now believes that it is not our place to perform elective surgery on our son. The pictures completely drained his face of color, and when I mentioned that the baby in the pictures could be our son he had to look away. This is a wonderful, gentle man who is a natural father, and I like to think that I'm a good mother. At any rate, I love my children more than life itself. I want to thank you ladies so much for informing us on this decision. With our son there wasn't a question, it was just something that is done. Thank you so much for educating us against making the same mistake twice.
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Also, your husband may be dealing with a lot of internalized grief that might be allowed to come to the surface now. Don't be surprised if he has mood swings, grief, nightmares- etc. It is not as simple as it might seem, please be sure to leave a lot of room for him to share with you if he needs. Make sure that he knows he is safe with you.
Your (and your dh's) courage brought me tears of joy.
Your children WILL grow up happier because of your refusal to follow *society's norms* and deciding for yourself the best possible way to parent.
You are great parents for being willing to learn how to look past following the crowd.
Your thoughts and feelings concerning your ex-boyfriend don't sound juvenile to me. It sounds like a perfectly natural reaction and you have shown great strength in being able to look past your emotional turmoil with him in order to evaluate the situation. The first step in overcoming a dilemma is to admit it exists and you have done this by acknowledging your feelings.
Keep reading and learning.
Make sure your husband knows you love him just the way he is.
congratulations on your son to be and the decision to leave him intact! It sounds like you have gone through quite an awakening so to speak. You have a very lucky family to have someone who is so compassionate in it. Did you find the Dr.Sears article you were looking for? If not here is a link to one,
Good luck and take care!
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