Uncircumcised adults - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 54 Old 11-06-2007, 05:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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All the research I've done convinces me to not circ my boys but my husband was and thinks that's just the way it's done so his boys will be too. I was wondering if anyone knows any uncircumcised men (who you oviously are close enough to to discuss such matters) who ever wish they had been cut and why or if they ever had infections. The only examples I know of are young men who got circ'd later in life with the youngest at 10 (b/c he kept getting infections) the oldest at 16 but don't know them personally. If someone could help me out in covincing my husband that if we do no cut our boys it's not something we'll reget later.
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#2 of 54 Old 11-06-2007, 05:48 PM
 
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My husband and all our friends and family on that side are intact and no problems. They don't get what all these complications are supposed to be. Probably because there are none!
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#3 of 54 Old 11-06-2007, 05:58 PM
 
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I'm an intact man, no infections, no problems, and no way do I wish I was circ'd!
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#4 of 54 Old 11-06-2007, 06:11 PM
 
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Yes, and he would fight to the death if someone came at him with a scalpel to cut off part of his penis - just the same way you would if someone came at you to cut your genitals. He goes pale and greenish when I mention that circ happens to babies. He's never had any infections.
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#5 of 54 Old 11-06-2007, 06:16 PM
 
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All the men in my family have been and are intact and I have never heard any of them saying that they wished to be circumcised! But I suppose that's because I am from Europe and now am married to a Brit, RIC is just not practised here.

My husband was horrified when he found out all the facts about circumcision, most people are against it anyway without knowing all the gory details, because it just doesn't make sense!

Mother to two boys who have never even had any foreskin redness, sister to two intact brothers (no infections as far as I know), wife to an intact husband (no infections, no UTI's EVER)!
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#6 of 54 Old 11-06-2007, 06:18 PM
 
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My soon-to-be husband is intact, and is very happy to be so! And I'm also very happy that he is!

In fact I have never known any circumcised men, and I have never heard anybody say they wish they didn't have a foreskin! There are no problems or difficulties in having a normal penis, and nobody even considers cutting anything off where I come from.

My sons (19 years and 22 months) are intact, and there's never been any problems at all!

There's no extra care needed and nothing to worry about!

Good luck convincing your husband. If you fail, however, then PLEASE just don't do it! Don't let anybody hurt your baby!

If he should ever regret not having been circumcised, then he can go ahead and have it done when he's grown up! (Not very likely, though.) But, if you let them cut off his foreskin, then that's that - if you regret it, it's too late!
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#7 of 54 Old 11-06-2007, 06:20 PM
 
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Circ is unheard of in Europe unless you are Jewish. 80% of the world are intact (I have to say, the word "uncircumcised" gets me. You don't say someone with a complete brain is "unlobotomised" do you ) THey are hardly queuing up around the block to get their foreskins chopped off.
Many of the people in those anecdotes that had to be circed due to infections were probably down to overzealous cleaning - the old school retracting and scrubbing underneath. This causes bacteria to be introduced. With half decent hygiene the foreskin is no more disease prone than any other part of the body. And the only part that is routinely removed to "prevent" problems - you don't take out appendixes or tonsils to prevent problems. Just silly.

Of course there are boys that wish they had been circed, usually because they found out their friends were and wanted to "fit in" Just educate them about the function of the foreskin. Of course it is their choice when they are grown if they want to be circed - at least then it is an informed choice, rather than taking that option away from them as an unconsenting infant.
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#8 of 54 Old 11-06-2007, 06:26 PM
 
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Well, if your DS wants to be circ'ed as an adult, he always has the option of being circ'ed. Once it's done, it's done. Restoration only restores part of what was cut off.

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19 (in Israel for another school year), Hannah, 18 (commuting to college), and Jack, 12(homeschooled)
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#9 of 54 Old 11-06-2007, 06:33 PM
 
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There is tons of information in resources if you have the time to go through them all.

Most men/boys who are circed later are victims of the ignorence of the foreskin so prevelent in the USA. Cir is not a treatment for infections abx are. So 99% of all boys/men circed later for infection should never have been circed. the 1% is men who have medical conditions like diabetis that make getting rid of infection extremely hard or impossible.

The only men who are intact and wish to be circed are the ones that have fallen for the brainwashing of the foreskin being dirty that is so common here in the USA. In Europe circ just dosnt happen and no one sees the foreskin as dirty and they are very happy to have kept theirs.

I wasnt able to convince dh that circ was bad until ds was almost 2yo but ds is intact. There was no way that I would have allowed my ds to be cut on even if it ment loosing my dh over it. But most men once they understand will change it just takes time to get through the lifetime of brain washing they have received.

Have your dh watch the circ video linked to here on the forum any man who can watch that and still be pro circ isnt right in the head.

 
SAHMlady.gifread.giflovin' trekkie.giffan intactivist.gifwinner.jpg to loveeyes.gifenergy.gifDD 10/00 & superhero.gifmoon.gifDS 10/04 ribbonpb.gifIf your ds is intact, keep him safe, visit the Case Against Circ forumnocirc.gifCirc, a personal choice, Your sonsyes.gifbrokenheart.gif11/98brokenheart.gif6/99ribbonbrown.gifanti-tobaccoribbonyellow.gifThyroid cancer survivor. With cat.gif& goldfish.gif & (Boxer)dog2.gif wishing 4 whale.gif&ribbonwhite.gifsigncirc1.gifselectivevax.gifdelayedvax.gif

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#10 of 54 Old 11-06-2007, 06:36 PM
 
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My signature has that video.
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#11 of 54 Old 11-06-2007, 06:38 PM
 
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My BIL is intact and he speaks with me openly about it. He said he has never had a yeast infection or UTI, and is so glad he is intact.
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#12 of 54 Old 11-06-2007, 06:44 PM
 
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My brother, my father, my husband and two of HIS brothers are intact. I am "close enough" with my brother and husband for them to discuss this, and both are very much AGAINST circumcision.
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#13 of 54 Old 11-06-2007, 07:11 PM
 
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My 2 best friends are male and intact. No problems, and neither ever wished he was cut.
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#14 of 54 Old 11-06-2007, 07:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you to all who have posted! I plan on showing my husband all the replys and the video but where do I find it? I've seen it before but only happened to stubble on to it.
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#15 of 54 Old 11-06-2007, 07:21 PM
 
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Click on the link in my signature below!
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#16 of 54 Old 11-06-2007, 07:46 PM
 
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I work for an intact man, and he thinks it is barbaric and he left his son intact. The ped is also intact. I know a few more adult intact men, and they all are happy with their status.

Mama to my little social butterfly 6/13/09

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#17 of 54 Old 11-06-2007, 08:34 PM
 
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My brother, dad, and all of the men up the line on that side of the family are intact. There has never been any need for a circumcision later in life. My brother and my dad are both happily married and live in the U.S. I know that my brother and my dad are against circumcision, happy with their status, and would not circ their children.

My dh's grandfather is also intact, and is 87 and never wanted to or had to be circumcised. He's pretty happy about it, too, though I've never asked him about it (dh has). Dh said he said not to circ, that it's unnecessary.
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#18 of 54 Old 11-06-2007, 08:38 PM
 
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My DH is not circ'd neither is his father. My Dad is not cir'd either and neither was my brother. So in my immediate family and immediate set of in-laws all teh men are intact.
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#19 of 54 Old 11-06-2007, 08:54 PM
 
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I know 2 intact men. Both think circ is barbaric. One, my dh, has phimosis from frequent forced retration as a baby, and still says no one could pay him enough to get circumcised.

mom to all boys B: 08/01ribboncesarean.gif,  C: 07/05 uc.jpg, N: 03/09 uc.jpg, M: 01/12 uc.jpg and far too many lost onesintactlact.gifsaynovax.gif

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#20 of 54 Old 11-06-2007, 08:55 PM
 
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MY DP is from the UK and has this to say:

"I was born with a congenital heart defect, which puts me at increased risk for infection. Probably if I had been born in the U.S. a quack doctor would have said it would be best to circumcise me to "prevent" UTIs or other problems.

I have PKU, which affects the pH of my urine. I am forgetful sometimes, and I am not fastidious about cleaning down there. I have never had any problems ever. Neither have my two brothers or father. I am very glad I am intact."

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#21 of 54 Old 11-06-2007, 09:02 PM
 
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hello and welcome to MDC. I am so glad you are researching this decision for your child. You are already an awesome mom for taking the time to consider RIC.

My DH is intact and I am soooooo glad about it! He is/was the best partner in the sack I've ever had! The second best was also intact, FTR. The rest of them were completely forgetable, IMO! Hmmmmm....this is starting to make me sound a bit slutty...oh, well!

He has never had any issues yeast infection/UTI wise. He keeps himself very clean, eats lots fo yogurt and fruits and veggies, far too much Diet Pepsi though. :

I am sure you will find lots of great replies and lots of great information here on this board, stay a while and look around!
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#22 of 54 Old 11-07-2007, 12:37 AM
 
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Welcome! Both my ex-boyfriend and my dh are intact. Both are very happy to be intact. My dh has had a couple of yeast infections, but they were no big deal and went away after a day or so of treatment (MUCH easier to treat an intact man's yeast infection than a woman's, that's for sure!).

I have only met one intact man who got circumcised later in life and it was because his girlfriend wanted him to (she's also the only person I've ever met in real life who preferred the circumcised penis after having been with both. The rest of my friends claim that intact is MUCH better). My friend who chose to be circumcised as a 19 or 20 year old told me that it wasn't a big deal to get it done later in life. He was put under for the operation and doesn't remember his circumcision any more than men who had it done as infants do. He did have a healing period that he remembers, but was given plenty of pain meds to take care of the after-pain.

So it is a myth that it's worse to have it done as an adult. That's even IF your son would actually choose to have a large part (it IS a large part) of his penis chopped off once he became an adult.

I have, on the other hand, met many circumcised men who wished they had been left intact. Unlike my intact friend who was able to go get circumcised, these circumcised men can't undo their circumcisions.

My ex-bf had no trouble finding a multitude of women to sleep around with. His foreskin didn't get in the way of his... um... prolific sex life in the least. My dh has only been with me, and I have no complaints whatsoever. In fact, I have a hard time imagining what a penis would be like without the foreskin. I'm not quite sure how it would work

It's wonderful that you're looking into this now! Best wishes :
love and peace.

mama to two girls and due in November!
: Circumcision can never be undone :
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#23 of 54 Old 11-07-2007, 08:37 AM
 
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My brother is now in his 60's and is intact. No problems there!

My two intact sons are now in their 20's. No problems with them, either!
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#24 of 54 Old 11-07-2007, 09:52 AM
 
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My father, his brothers and their dad on up are intact...according to my mom (my father has passed on sadly) he never had any problems, nor heard of anyone having any problems. In fact, my mom was pretty vocal to tell me "your dad KNEW it was better."

It seems really obvious to me...what would you really rather have...ALL of the erogenous tissue of your penis, or half of it. :

I know several men here who are intact, and they all seem pretty horrified at the idea of circ.

Have you read that Vincent Bach article? It's for you to read to gets some perspective on the psychology that's going through your DH's head.

http://www.udonet.com/circumcision/v...ty_of_men.html

My DH was circ'd as an infant and we both definitely wish that his parents had left him alone! When I became pregnant I started researching, shared my research with DH and he was REALLY horrified.

No doubt, if you choose to let your boys be cut they will be in a generation where it will be more obviously known what circumcised men are lacking here in the US.

Perpetually breastfeeding or pregnant ENFP mom to a lot of kids...wife to a midwestern nice guy...living in tropical paradise...pink cats and homebirths rock!

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#25 of 54 Old 11-07-2007, 10:00 AM
 
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My husband is intact. He wasn't retracted as an infant (a common cause of infections and inflammation -- something a lot of doctors used to recommend and have since realized is damaging and absolutely should not be done), so he didn't have any problems. I've known him for over 15 years and he's never had any infections or problems with his foreskin. If you suggested that he might want to be circumcised for any reason, he would laugh you out of the room.

Now me, I'm an intact female and I've had several bacterial/yeast-type infections over the past few years. Glad to know no one wants to circumcise me to fix those problems. : Amazing what some yogurt and antibiotics can do!
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#26 of 54 Old 11-07-2007, 10:00 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by phatchristy View Post
My father, his brothers and their dad on up are intact...according to my mom (my father has passed on sadly) he never had any problems, nor heard of anyone having any problems. In fact, my mom was pretty vocal to tell me "your dad KNEW it was better."
I wanted to expand on the story a little bit as well...I want to explain how a WHOLE generation of men were circ'd. Sadly, when my mom had given birth in the hospital my brother was circ'd AUTOMATICALLY! They just took him away and did it. : And, back then women were in the hospital for a week or so, never got to see her son whole and he was bottle fed from the start.

When he was eventually returned to her care when he was discharged the doctors gave her antibiotics (my brother had an infected penis) and my mom was absolutely horrified. The doctors said to her..."oh, it will be easier to keep it clean." Which she knew was WRONG because my dad had no problems cleaning it. : Intact baby boy genitals are in fact EASIER to clean, as they involve no special care. And, adult male intact genitals are way easier than adult female genitals.

Anyhow, guess what happened....they didn't want to give my brother a "complex" so they never said anything.

And, guess what happened when my brother had two baby boys...he had them cut. Why? My mom actually asked him, he said "to match".

Because my brother never knew the pleasures of a foreskin he just assumed that it had no value. My mom should have told him what happened when he was a baby, and should have told him that our father was happy and knew it was best to be kept perfect as you were born.

So sad that the US medical system insured that my brother and both our nephews were cut.

I found out all of this when I told my mom that our son was staying whole, she told me..."she was so relieved"...then she unburdened herself sharing what happened at the hospital 40 years ago with my brother.

Perpetually breastfeeding or pregnant ENFP mom to a lot of kids...wife to a midwestern nice guy...living in tropical paradise...pink cats and homebirths rock!

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#27 of 54 Old 11-07-2007, 10:20 AM
 
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My DH and all the other men in my family are intact. And no one has ever had infections (why would they? they know how to shower). I just asked DH and he thinks that circ is a sick idea and it makes him want to :Puke . He says he feels pity for the men, who are circ'ed and will never experience the benefits of a fully functional penis:. I think that the other men I know feel the same way. After all, cutting off healthy bodyparts is not the norm around here.
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#28 of 54 Old 11-07-2007, 10:53 AM
 
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My Dh, his father, and his maternal grandfather are all intact. We assume other family members on both his maternal and paternal sides are as well but have never asked. (How do you ask that anyway? )

My maternal grandfather and uncle are also intact. I don't have brothers, but my mom was clear that no son of hers would be circumcised.

If it matters, we are all American. Many times I tell people this and they assume that Dh or his family are European and that is why they weren't circumcised - but no, no one believed in mutilating boys.
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#29 of 54 Old 11-07-2007, 11:14 AM
 
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Good for you for choosing to keep your sons intact! From everything I've read, with gentle care of the penis and avoiding retraction most guys do great health-wise and have no problems with intactness -- it's the way nature made men to be.

As for convincing your husband, be prepared that he may not ever be convinced that intact is OK, until he has an intact son that you have protected. It can be very difficult for circ'd men to accept that intact is "normal" and they can have a lot of problems with it.

I think the best approach I've heard of is to not push the issue but to calmly and consistently refuse circumcision and talk to your DH when he brings up that he wants it. If he initates the conversations he may be less defensive and more ready to listen to your views.

As long as you advocate for your son (and you have not had your judgement clouded by the emotional trauma of circ affecting your body) you will have an intact son. Your husband may be disappointed but he won't stop loving his son just because he is intact.

My sons are circ'd and it was the biggest mistake of my life. I applaud you for having the strengh to keep your sons intact.

Best wishes to your family!
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#30 of 54 Old 11-07-2007, 01:26 PM
 
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I'm 31. My brother is 33. Neither of us have ever had any problems. We grew up in Ireland where we had this invention called "soap" that could be used to keep things clean.

* The argument of cleanliness is a fallacy - soap and water works just fine.
* The argument of passing on diseases is statistically incorrect - there's as much disease (if not more-so) per capita in the USA as there is in European countries where they don't routinely mutilate young boys.
* The argument of protecting against HIV & AIDS is statistically incorrect, all of the much-publicized studies ignored way too much data for them to be considered valid.

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