For those who live in high circ areas - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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Old 11-30-2007, 12:09 AM
 
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i also live in the midwest, and no, i dont ever second guess or doubt that leaving our boys intact was the best thing to do. i don't worry about them being embarassed about having all of their body parts, or being teased for it. i just feel bad for all their circ'd friends.

~helen~ mama to 5 yo twins jonas and micah and my 2 yo baby boy eli
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Old 11-30-2007, 06:51 PM
 
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Originally Posted by newmama8824 View Post
One of the women said "I look at it as if i had to go through pain of giving birth, they had to go through pain with me"
i'd just like to point out that, in discussing circumcision, you have uncovered one of the serious issues in the approach to childbirth in our culture.
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Old 12-01-2007, 12:22 PM
 
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i don't worry about them being embarassed about having all of their body parts, or being teased for it. i just feel bad for all their circ'd friends.
I think this sums up how I feel - especially the bold part.

Not that I'm going to teach my children to pity boys who have been circed. But they will know that it is a very damaging, painful thing, that has life-long repercussions.

So I expect that my children will feel the way I do about people who are circed (male or female) - I just feel terribly sad that that happened to them. And I wish they had all of their body parts.

And I'm SO glad that all of my children have all of their body parts.

This was an issue with a friend of mine who circed her son, in fact - she was really upset by the fact that I felt sorry for her son (which I did, and still do).
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Old 12-01-2007, 01:29 PM
 
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Midwest here too - our area (small-ish town) has at least an 85-90% circ rate, at last report. But just look at how many Midwest mamas have chimed in here, saying they didn't circ. The numbers are growing.

It's hard to imagine our kids being teased. I read a comment on MDC once, and I think I'm going to offer it to my son to use when he gets older. If he is ever teased, he can say "Wait, let me get this straight... you're teasing me because part of your penis was cut off?" That really turns the tables!

I think the key is raising a child who is confident. Remember that the ones doing the teasing are the ones who already feel insecure about themselves for whatever reason. I'd like to think that when my son gets older, he will be confident enough to understand the reason why people tease, even if that doesn't make it easier for him.

Good luck mama, and I'm proud of you for sticking to it even though it feels very much like he'll be the only one. Only dead fish go with the flow!

CPST ***I can help keep your child safe in the car. Ask me a car seat question!***
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Old 12-01-2007, 01:59 PM
 
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The right thing to do isn't always the easiest thing to do or the popular decision. I could never live with myself if I did something I knew to be so fundamentally and horribly wrong just to fit in with mainstream society.
Well said.
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Old 12-01-2007, 04:33 PM
 
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I asked my husband about teasing because he said his friends gave one of their group who was uncircumcised a hard time. So I asked specifically about how he was teased. (He never would share this when we were debating circ.)

The guys would say "you're not circumcised".

I asked, what did Matt say?

"So?"

And that is what my husband described as how the intact guy got harassed. NO BIG DEAL! This group harasses each other for all kinds of stuff, and if this is all they did about circumcision, that's nothing.

I'm sure my husband still is uncomfortable with doing things different, but this teasing is really nothing at all to be worried about.
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Old 12-01-2007, 05:14 PM
 
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I admire mamas in high-circ areas who leave their sons intact. I can understand secondguessing, when most people around you think circ is the way to go. But as for being a minority, you never know where boys/men will end up. Perhaps your family will move to a low-circ state. Maybe as a young man, your son will go to college in a low-circ area, or take a job somewhere where circ is uncommon. We are such a mobile society, and the rates are dropping. Circ is not done very often in western Europe, Canada, or Australia. You may not think that's very relevant, but I am an American who has spent the last 5 years in the UK and Canada--who knows where life will take your son? You can be proud of your decision--I suspect he'll thank you someday--all the benefits of having a foreskin will become more and more commonly known in the US as the years go by.
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Old 12-03-2007, 04:12 PM
 
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I have twins boys - they are a delight!

We live in the midwest as well, and I assume that most (if not all) of my sons' friends are circumcised - but we don't really know, because my sons and their friends don't parade around naked. My boys are 13 years old, in 8th grade, and no one has ever commented on their foreskins. They don't shower at school, and they don't undress in front of others - not because they are ashamed of their foreksin, but because they are modest. Their friends are the same way. My sons don't even want to change clothes in front of each other!

They HAVE been teased for acne, being clumsy, being tall, and even for being identical twins. Rather than surgically alter them to fit in, we taught them how to deal with bullies and with teasing.

They are very glad they are intact, and can't understand why anyone would want it done - much less do it to a helpless infant.

If the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

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Old 12-03-2007, 06:18 PM
 
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I'm also in the Midwest - circ capital of the world. It helps associating with other MDC'ers in real life. I keep trying to educate pregnant women on the topic - and I've actually changed a few minds!

I have no regrets. I don't worry about my son being teased. He can choose who sees him naked.

Expecting a boy? Be sure to check out MDC's Case Against Circumcision!
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Old 12-03-2007, 06:25 PM
 
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Yeah kind of. I don't know irl of any boys who aren't circed. My dh is intact as well and was teased in high school. In fact when our first was only days old he came to see him and said "please tell me you got him circumcised."

My son is now in kindergarten in a very very teeny town and some teasing has started. One kid told him he had a "small weiner" in the bathroom one day. He just ignored him so hopefully that will continue. But I don't doubt that there will be some teasing as he and my other son get older.
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Old 12-03-2007, 07:07 PM
 
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One kid told him he had a "small weiner" in the bathroom one day. He just ignored him so hopefully that will continue. But I don't doubt that there will be some teasing as he and my other son get older.
That is bizarre, isn't it - since it's the circed kids who have had a good proportion of their penis cut off, so it's obviously their penis that's going to be smaller. :

In a high circ area, I would most definitely arm my son (even when very young) with appropriate responses to any teasing. I would probably teach my 5 year old exactly what circumcision was (as in: When some babies are born, they have some of the skin of their penis cut off. I made sure no one cut anything off your penis).

Then I'd let him know that if anyone asks why his penis is different, or teases him about it, he can just tell them the truth in a simple, direct way: Your penis looked like mine when you were born, but the doctor cut off part of the skin on your penis.

If you are already getting teasing at age 5, I would definitely arm my son like this, so that he can protect himself and that he knows that HE is the lucky one.

I would probably do a lot of talking at home about how sad we feel for the little boys who had part of their penis cut off when they were too little to protect themselves.

Heck - I live in the UK, where no one is cut, and that is how my kids and I talk about it when we do talk about it (which isn't that often, but will probably become more often as they get older).
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Old 12-03-2007, 11:33 PM
 
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I live in Ohio, and about 80-90% of baby boys here are circumcised. Even so, I find it unlikely that everyone else at school would be circumcised (where would the other 1 in 5, or 1 in 10, boys be?). I don't think intactness will be an issue, especially when we raise our sons with appreciation for what they have. Also, NOT circumcising is actually contagious. I now have 2 other friends with intact boys. Sometimes, all it takes is one person not doing it to show others that it doesn't HAVE to be done.

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Old 12-04-2007, 10:22 AM
 
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Originally Posted by buckeyedoc View Post
Also, NOT circumcising is actually contagious. I now have 2 other friends with intact boys. Sometimes, all it takes is one person not doing it to show others that it doesn't HAVE to be done.
:
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Old 12-04-2007, 07:32 PM
 
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I'm in the midwest, and I don't doubt for a second our decision to keep our sons intact. They haven't gotten to an age where it has been an issue, but I agree that education is the best protection. Knowledge is power, and all that.
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Old 12-05-2007, 04:54 AM
 
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Do boys really spend that much time teasing one another about their penis'?
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Old 12-05-2007, 12:12 PM
 
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Do boys really spend that much time teasing one another about their penis'?
Nope...it's just another reason people use to justify mutilating babies:

Victim of Birth Rape & Coerced ribboncesarean.gifUnnecesareanribboncesarean.gif What makes people think they can cut up someone else's genitals? nocirc.gif
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Old 12-05-2007, 02:23 PM
 
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I am in the Midwest and I have never seen an intact man. I have seen a couple little intact boys run around in locker rooms at swim club. Which is definitely reassuring that the trend is shifting.

I'm not worried about it. Of course, my ds is circ'd,: but I've already been explaining it all to them just like I will to my daughters when they are a little older. I don't remember ANY boys comparing when they are younger, anyways, so I don't see how it'd be an issue.

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Old 12-05-2007, 05:18 PM
 
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I live in the midwest & don't know any intact boys (yet) besides my ds - that I know of. . . but I dont doubt my decision. . . and when it seems overwhelmingly everyone is circ;ing thier ds & that little nagging worry hints about maybe coming up - I know that even if he thinks it was the wrong choice - at least HE can make the other choice - if I had circ'ed there is no going back & what if he thinks that was the wrong choice?

So, besides ALL the OTHER wonderful reasons to leave ds intact - I don't have to worry & doubt my decision ever because its a decision that he can decide & therefore I can't make the wrong choice. And any inkling of doubt is gone.
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