Join Date: May 2005
Location: Squarely Outside of the Box
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My sisters friend is having her son undergo a surgery when he turn one to "fix" his botched circ too! Horrible!!
Claire and boys: whats the circ rate like over where you are? My mom is from Germany and of course folks over there would never think twice about circ'ing, but I was just wondering if you had any stats or anything from your area? Sometimes I like to pretend I dont live in Virginia
My best friend and I have had similar discussions about VAXing-- which is more of a gray area, IMO, than circumcision--and natural childbirth.
What it comes down to for her, I think, is that she really just trusts doctors and nurses--- a lot. She and her Dh have an amateur interest in medicine-- she had an epidural during her first delivery (though she told me she was tolerating the pain well) partially because her husband was really interested in watching the procedure. Her second baby was induced at 38 weeks (because she was already 6 cm)-- the epidural didn't work, the pitocin worked too well, and she had constant contractions for two hours which were, apparently, unbelieveably painful. Then her baby was kept from her for about 3 hrs because of a shift change. I went and saw her DD in the nursery-- she was lying in the stainless bassinet all alone-- no nurses even in the room. It was very sad. I asked my friend later if she would change anything, and she said nope-- she'd do everything exactly the same way, but hope the epid. worked. If I had been in her position, though,I would have been irate (and wouldn't have consented to the induction, anyway).
Regardless of this, though-- she's still my best friend. She respects my parenting decisions (and even made a sling for me, though she's not a huge fan of them herself), and I try to respect hers. We both love our DDs, our husband, crafty things, good food, etc... so we focus on those things.
There are so many possible extenuating circumstances for your friend-- maybe she brought up the idea of not circing and her Dh was very uncomfortable about it (which is no excuse, but I understand how she might feel). Maybe the doctor told her it was a good idea, and the approval of medical staff makes her feel like a good mum. Now that she knows the information you gave her, though, she must feel *some* guilt about it that she is trying to deal with by expressing her enthusiasm for circing (the "I'm all for it" comment). The extra surgery must make her feel even worse.
A year ago, I was undecided about vaxing and mildly pro-circ. My beliefs changed *very* quickly. I just needed some time to process the information. I wasn't a bad person before, though--it's very scary to learn that what you've heard your whole life is misinformed and/or deceptive. I would stick with her, avoid sensitive issues, and hope that eventually she wants to talk.