The Next Generation Part 2 (special post) - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 14 Old 12-28-2007, 03:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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There was one post from one user who I know well on my boards. He decided at a young age he did not like circumcision (he is now 14). I single out this post because he talks about the moment when he confronted his Mom and asked her why he was circumcised, and then told her about his restoring. I think as a parenting board this post is quite an interesting one to highlight.

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I felt really awkward but I had to bring it up with her because I was afraid she was recommending the proceedure to her friends for their kids or something, something had to be done and it was up to me. She was reading and I came up and started talking about how I was really shy about this and wouldnt normally bring it up but I felt I had to... and said "how would you feel.... if I was unhappy with your decision to have me circumcised?"
that last word I could bearly speak I was so nervous

it took her a second or two to answer but she said "oh, well, we researched it and it was very important to us that we made the right choice and even though it was a 'fad ' not to do it at the time and the nurse tried to talk us out of it and I said it was none of her business we still did it and we felt it was the right choice." or something like that. I was pretty pissed because that seemed pretty naive to pick the choice that cant be undone over the one that would be okay. especially since all of my friends are intact.

I started talking to her about how it should have been my choice and I was really unhappy with it and that I felt taken advantage of. it was really easy to talk about once I got started and she was actually kind of supportive. I even told her about how I was almost done restoring !!!! she was shocked that I was different but actually impressed that I was working on it. I even told her I was wearing one of the restoring things right then and she was so amazed. she tried to talk me out of it though with how intact people give girls cancer or something and I was like "I'll take my chances thanks" and kept repeating all of the statistics from online that I know now

We actually got into the restoring stuff a lot because I was telling her that even though we couldnt undo the damge now I at least had a pretty generous cutting done... still had my frenulum and about half of my original inner foreskin... which Ive now stretched almost completely into a full one. I really think she is excited for me to be so happy and unique in our family. she kept asking me if I was gay though and I said no, only a little bisexual maybe. I was just letting it all out

I'm happy because I told her now that she can expect to see me naked around the house more often when I'm done restoring I can walk around and not raise any questions, but I couldnt tell my dad because hes cut and I think he would feel embarrassed. I feel so much better but until I'm done restoring it wont be the end of this chapter of my life
-Male 14, cut USA
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#2 of 14 Old 12-28-2007, 04:55 PM
 
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That's wonderful that he feels confident enough to talk to his mom about his restoring and his feelings on being cut. I do find it odd that his mom kept asking him if he was gay. What difference does that make in terms of restoring? I wonder if she thinks only homosexual men like foreskin or something?
Good for him for speaking up. Maybe he can save a foreskin or two now that his mom knows the consequences on the boy in which it's performed. I hope all parents will think about that before they circumcise their child - not all babies will appreciate the choice the parents make for them.

Mom &  RN   intactivist.gif
Pardon the typos - CWOK (cat walking on keyboard)   signcirc1.gif

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#3 of 14 Old 12-28-2007, 05:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Night_Nurse View Post
That's wonderful that he feels confident enough to talk to his mom about his restoring and his feelings on being cut. I do find it odd that his mom kept asking him if he was gay. What difference does that make in terms of restoring? I wonder if she thinks only homosexual men like foreskin or something?
Good for him for speaking up. Maybe he can save a foreskin or two now that his mom knows the consequences on the boy in which it's performed. I hope all parents will think about that before they circumcise their child - not all babies will appreciate the choice the parents make for them.
This is something you may not have encountered, but one reason guys that I know dont talk about restoring is they are worried somone will think their gay. Its this stupid idea that goes along with the whole theory, "normal boys wont care if their circumcised or not." So if they do care then they must think about their penis (heaven forbid someone would think about a body part) and since they think about penises, they must be gay.
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#4 of 14 Old 12-28-2007, 06:15 PM
 
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Cool, thanks for the perspective, perspective.
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#5 of 14 Old 12-28-2007, 07:09 PM
 
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I think there's going to be a LOT of American mothers in around 10-15 years time who are going to be answering awkward questions from their sons, and getting quite a shock.

I think this particular one got off lightly from the sounds of it. Imagine, someone saying "you shouldn't restore you're going to give girls cancer"....YEAH RIGHT.

Still, this is the way it's going to end - when the MEN refuse to accept being mutilated.
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#6 of 14 Old 12-28-2007, 07:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Still, this is the way it's going to end - when the MEN refuse to accept being mutilated.
EXACTLY. This boy a a great model for that. Its about men accepting that they have been victimized, but also realize not all is lost, that they can still get something back. That they can still get the feeling of control back over their bodies, and as this boy put it, to put an end to this chapter in their lives.

But sadly most men stay defensive, because they dont realize/believe any of that is possible.
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#7 of 14 Old 12-31-2007, 08:56 PM
 
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I hope it's mothers and fathers who will be talking to their sons. It's interesting that the boy would not talk to his dad about it.

But it's a very good point, that when more and more men reject circ, it will end.
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#8 of 14 Old 01-01-2008, 03:10 AM
 
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One of the reason FGM is outlawed is b/c women won't stand for it! The day will come when men won't put up with any form of genital cutting either.

perspective, the post mentioned that all of his friends are intact. Where is he from?
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#9 of 14 Old 01-01-2008, 07:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by fruitful womb View Post
One of the reason FGM is outlawed is b/c women won't stand for it! The day will come when men won't put up with any form of genital cutting either.

perspective, the post mentioned that all of his friends are intact. Where is he from?
Well I know there are still women that "support" FGM. That usually its mothers and grandmothers that are holding down their daughters, although these are in countries where FGM is a cultural norm, and guess who generally supports MGM in the US, yep, men.

He is from Arizona, most of his friends are intact, but most of the guys on his hockey team are cut. So its a mixed bag.

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I hope it's mothers and fathers who will be talking to their sons. It's interesting that the boy would not talk to his dad about it.
Well he explained that to one girl that asked him, but I understood why too.
His father is circumcised. He would be uncomfortable talking to his Dad because it brings up A LOT more issues. A lot of much more personal issues.
He was worried that his father would see him restoring, as him saying "hey dad there is something wrong with your penis" while in reality he just sees it as a personal choice.
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#10 of 14 Old 01-02-2008, 04:59 PM
 
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Perspective, I've been lurking on your threads. I haven't had much time to post, thanks to the holidays. But I just want to say how much I've enjoyed your posts. It's people like you who will end Routine Infant Circumcision. Thank you for your input!
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#11 of 14 Old 01-02-2008, 06:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by njeb View Post
Perspective, I've been lurking on your threads. I haven't had much time to post, thanks to the holidays. But I just want to say how much I've enjoyed your posts. It's people like you who will end Routine Infant Circumcision. Thank you for your input!

Thank you ^_^

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It's people like you who will end Routine Infant Circumcision.
I dont know why, but thats one of the nicest compliments I have gotten in a while. But, out of curiosity, why do you think that?
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#12 of 14 Old 01-02-2008, 08:43 PM
 
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Does this kid have a blog or something? This sounds so familiar to me and I can't figure out why.

Thanks for sharing.
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#13 of 14 Old 01-02-2008, 11:10 PM
 
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Originally Posted by perspective View Post
Thank you ^_^


I dont know why, but thats one of the nicest compliments I have gotten in a while. But, out of curiosity, why do you think that?
You're welcome!
Well, I'm a member of the Baby Boom generation. By and large, most of us unthinkingly had our sons circumcised, never questioning why it needed to be done. "The doctor says so" was good enough reason for most of us.
The only reason my own sons, now in their 20's, were left intact is that I chose to have my babies at home, and I was lucky to have some savvy midwives who convinced me that circumcision was unnecessary. But I never thought it was anything more than a little snip. After all, the fathers of my sons were both circ'ed, so a circ'ed penis was "natural" to me. It wasn't until I started reading the CAC board that I became truly educated about circumcision.
Your generation has had the benefit of the Internet. All kinds of things which used to be widely accepted are now being questioned. Circumcision is one of these. People are finding out what is really involved with circ. Maybe I'm being overly optimistic, but I don't think so.
By the way, my sons are quite happy that they're intact. So much for the locker room myth, at least in my family.
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#14 of 14 Old 01-02-2008, 11:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Does this kid have a blog or something? This sounds so familiar to me and I can't figure out why.

Thanks for sharing.
Yeah he does actually! Wow the internet is not that big after all. You probably have seen it.

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Originally Posted by njeb View Post
You're welcome!
Well, I'm a member of the Baby Boom generation. By and large, most of us unthinkingly had our sons circumcised, never questioning why it needed to be done. "The doctor says so" was good enough reason for most of us.
The only reason my own sons, now in their 20's, were left intact is that I chose to have my babies at home, and I was lucky to have some savvy midwives who convinced me that circumcision was unnecessary. But I never thought it was anything more than a little snip. After all, the fathers of my sons were both circ'ed, so a circ'ed penis was "natural" to me. It wasn't until I started reading the CAC board that I became truly educated about circumcision.
Your generation has had the benefit of the Internet. All kinds of things which used to be widely accepted are now being questioned. Circumcision is one of these. People are finding out what is really involved with circ. Maybe I'm being overly optimistic, but I don't think so.
By the way, my sons are quite happy that they're intact. So much for the locker room myth, at least in my family.
Well if you look at cultures where male circumcision has been weeded out, it always happens in the same way. New information, (that probably was already around) but for the first time presented in a way that, that culture for some reason listens too. Soon after circumcision rates start dropping, and in a relatively short period of time circumcision is no longer a dominate cultural "tradition". This happened in the UK, this happened in Australia, and to an extent in Canada.

The key factor thats going to change the tide of the circumcision debate in the US will be the same kind of thing. There is one thing "we" will have to give up, and thats religious circumcision. (thats one battle that wont be won, because it never has.)

So thats why its possible, that by the time your sons, or when I have kids, its possible that they may not be ask that question of circumcision and that levels could go down to the 30%.
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