I went in b/c my son was sick and the doc retracted - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 28 Old 12-30-2007, 08:25 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I am just sick. Sick. It just keeps going over and over in my head. She did it even before the words not to do it came out of my mouth. I didn't even see it coming. He had an ear infection. She acted like I was crazy when I told her that was not okay to do and when I repeated she shouldn't do that to intact penises she asked me why and I was so worked up I just said I would send her some literature because I was too upset to articulate myself properly.

My DH is telling me she didn't do anything to him that he doesn't do to himself in the bathtub. His penis looks okay to me and he is not bothered by it as far as I can tell, but I need some help from you guys, can you tell me what to keep an eye out for as far as what issues I might see or what might happen to his penis in the future because of this. I also need some links to articles I can print out for this....person. I am so mad at myself for not anticipating this might happen. I feel I failed my son and my heart is breaking. Will he be okay?
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#2 of 28 Old 12-30-2007, 10:12 AM
 
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He had an ear infection and she retracted his penis?

Good grief.

She needs retraining, what was she looking for in there? What on earth does she think penises have to do with ears? Or is this a pervert looking for a cheap thrill?
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#3 of 28 Old 12-30-2007, 10:13 AM
 
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Things to watch for are redness, swelling, foul smelling discharge and pain. Odds are he will be ok depending on how far she retracted and how hard she pushed.

Here is the link to the AAP site on retraction (her governing body that she should already be aware of) http://www.medem.com/search/article_..._typ=NAV_SERCH


Not aiming this at you mama but this is why it is so important to say something before the diaper even comes off. Though in this case for a ear infection I have no idea what she was looking for under the diaper :

 
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#4 of 28 Old 12-30-2007, 01:07 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Daisyuk View Post
He had an ear infection and she retracted his penis?

Good grief.
My thoughts exactly. Why do so many doctors seem to be obssesed with retracting. I don't get it. There needs to be some serious retraining going on.

I'm sorry that happened. I bet your little guy will be okay though.

OUR DAUGHTERS ARE PROTECTED SHOULDN'T OUR SONS BE TOO! :
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#5 of 28 Old 12-30-2007, 01:17 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Daisyuk View Post
He had an ear infection and she retracted his penis?

Good grief.

She needs retraining, what was she looking for in there? What on earth does she think penises have to do with ears? Or is this a pervert looking for a cheap thrill?
One thing that I think is dumb about my country (USA) is how pedophile crazy our culture is, and that has stopped a lot of adults from being mentors or getting too close to kids. But you think for once it could be used for a positive advantage, and would stop this doctor from checking his penis because of fear that people thinking she is "sketchy". Yet nope, ear infection, lets check the penis. I would like to sit down with a doctor and ask them exactly why they would do this, and if they had a baby girl would they start looking in her genitals if she had an ear infection too!
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#6 of 28 Old 12-30-2007, 01:58 PM
 
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He had an ear infection and she retracted his penis?

Good grief.

She needs retraining, what was she looking for in there? What on earth does she think penises have to do with ears? Or is this a pervert looking for a cheap thrill?
My thoughts exactly! WTH????

He'll be okay, mama. But definitely send her the literature. Then send it, along with a hefty complaint, to her boss. More people in the medical profession need to know that this is not okay.:

Homeschooling mom of 2 rambunctious, loving, spectacular boys, wife to an incredible man who has been my best friend on this journey <3

 

 

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#7 of 28 Old 12-30-2007, 03:17 PM
 
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sheesh when my son had a fever they did swabs for flu-strep throat-checked his ears to see if he had ear infection -brendan had dough poisioning only because he ate raw dough had diherea with a hard belly he was screaming in pain i was scared took him to doctor and i had gave him his ginger medicine and was obvious gas issue due to severe diherea no pants off at either appt did bloodwork xrays after 8 diherea there he was feeling better that was when doc suggested cathing for urine test i said no didnt give me a hard time bout that because i said my ds was feeling better so he hasnt had that issue since so after that i said must have been the sugar cookie dough he at after I told him not too.

Does she have a list of which patient is cut and which one is intact if she does the same thing for 'circ males' by looking at them -perveted doctor -looking at penises for weird reasons but if she doesn't do it with circ males-predujice of intact males and pervetedness of need to see the glans -is your dh intact or is he referring to your son being retractile in the bath.
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#8 of 28 Old 12-30-2007, 04:29 PM
 
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Ugh, what business did she have looking down there when your baby had an ear infection!? I wonder if she would have felt the need to examine a circ'ed baby in the same way with the same symptoms?

Sorry you had to go through that. I'm sure your little guy will be just fine, but definitely watch for any signs of trouble to be sure. I would definitely send some literature on to the doctor as well!
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#9 of 28 Old 12-30-2007, 04:48 PM
 
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hot damn!


 http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Wise-Woman-Fertility/182752565080597
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#10 of 28 Old 12-30-2007, 04:57 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Daisyuk View Post
He had an ear infection and she retracted his penis?

Good grief.

She needs retraining, what was she looking for in there? What on earth does she think penises have to do with ears? Or is this a pervert looking for a cheap thrill?
My thoughts exactly.

I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
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#11 of 28 Old 12-30-2007, 04:59 PM
 
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Why did you take off his diaper if you were just there for an ear infection? It seems to me by stripping him down you are signaling to the doctor that you are expecting a quick all-over exam to occur.
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#12 of 28 Old 12-30-2007, 05:10 PM
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Why did you take off his diaper if you were just there for an ear infection? It seems to me by stripping him down you are signaling to the doctor that you are expecting a quick all-over exam to occur.
Where does she say she did?
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#13 of 28 Old 12-30-2007, 05:52 PM
 
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Why did you take off his diaper if you were just there for an ear infection? It seems to me by stripping him down you are signaling to the doctor that you are expecting a quick all-over exam to occur.
Not sure that blaming the victim is ever very helpful really.

Anyway, she didn't say anything in her original post about taking his diaper off, where did you read that?
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#14 of 28 Old 12-30-2007, 06:02 PM
 
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Why did you take off his diaper if you were just there for an ear infection? It seems to me by stripping him down you are signaling to the doctor that you are expecting a quick all-over exam to occur.
Gotta say that I agree with both DaisyUK and Iamthesmilingone.

In any case, this comment appears to imply that a penis check/retraction is an appropriate part of a 'all over' exam, which is certainly not the case.

Would you have made this comment if a doctor was poking around in a little girl's vagina when she went in for an ear infection? Even if Mom had removed a diaper? I seriously doubt it.

Any knowledgeable doctor would NOT retract an infant. End of story. No matter who took the diaper off and why.
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#15 of 28 Old 12-30-2007, 06:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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She took his hands in hers and then took off his socks and checked his feet. He had been crying nonstop and she said she was looking for like string or hair wound around a body part causing pain. Hence the penis. He was sitting in my DH's lap and they took off his diaper together. I was holding our newborn. I knew she was looking for some cause of pain, but it didn't even cross my mind she'd do that, because if he's not circumcised how would anything GET in there to cause pain so why would she do that? My mind just wasn't as clear as it should have been. My son was SCREAMING in pain and I was just holding it together and caring for the baby. As she started to do it I told her "don't retract!" but she did it before the words were even finished.

I appreciate that some of you are passionate about keeping all babies intact, but making me feel bad isn't helping your cause. It just makes me feel worse. While you may be absolutely right I don't need the judgements at this time. Don't you think I'm judging myself harshly enough? I feel like dirt, actually. I will never forgive myself if he suffers long-term effects.

I appreciate the link and info and may come back to ask for feedback on a letter of complaint. Thanks.
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#16 of 28 Old 12-30-2007, 06:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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She took his hands in hers, looked at them, and then took off his socks and checked his feet. He had been crying nonstop and she explained she was looking for like string or hair wound around a body part causing pain. Hence the penis. He was sitting in my DH's lap and they took off his diaper together. I was holding our newborn. I knew she was looking for some cause of pain, but it didn't even cross my mind she'd do that, because if he's not circumcised how would anything GET in there to cause pain so why would she do that? My mind just wasn't as clear as it should have been. My son was SCREAMING in pain and I was just holding it together and caring for the baby. As she started to do it I told her "don't retract!" but she did it before the words were even finished.

I appreciate that some of you are passionate about keeping all babies intact, but making me feel bad isn't helping your cause. It just makes me feel worse. While you may be absolutely right I don't need the judgements at this time. Don't you think I'm judging myself harshly enough? I feel like dirt, actually. I will never forgive myself if he suffers long-term effects.

I appreciate the link and info and may come back to ask for feedback on a letter of complaint. Thanks.
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#17 of 28 Old 12-30-2007, 06:39 PM
 
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Don't feel bad!!! I have felt attacked here before too!! The docs do it so fast it is very understandable that it happened. I wouldn't be worried especially since your dh said your ds does it to himself in the tub anyway. It will be ok but it is true that Drs are so uninformed about this issue!! ((hug))
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#18 of 28 Old 12-30-2007, 06:43 PM
 
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I appreciate that some of you are passionate about keeping all babies intact, but making me feel bad isn't helping your cause. It just makes me feel worse. While you may be absolutely right I don't need the judgements at this time. Don't you think I'm judging myself harshly enough? I feel like dirt, actually. I will never forgive myself if he suffers long-term effects.
There was only one post which questioned you (and that post assumed that you'd taken off your son's diaper, which you clearly didn't do).

The three posts after that were questioning the poster who implied that you were at fault - which you definitely WERE NOT.

The doctor was WAY out of line, and I would encourage you to write that letter of complaint.

Hugs again, and I hope your son is OK.
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#19 of 28 Old 12-30-2007, 07:03 PM
 
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In my previous post I put that part about saying something before the diaper even comes off for lurkers and it wasnt aimed at you in any way shape or form.

I know exactly what it is like when you LO is screaming bloody murder all you can think about at the time is how long before I can get out of here.

In your case there is no way you could have been prepaired for her going into the diaper since what you went in for had nothing to do with the diaper area.

I understand her looking for strings or hairs but like you said there is really no way anything can get under the foreskin unless he put it there. If that was the case you would have undoubtably noticed something amiss during a diaper change.


 
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#20 of 28 Old 12-30-2007, 07:38 PM
 
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Its not your fault, mama. I would have probably done the same. If my ds was in pain, and the dr said that she wanted to look for a hair, etc, I would have assumed that it was okay, too.
Honestly, before I came here, I never knew that retraction was bad. I didn't really watch my ped do the exams too carefully. Luckily, he knows better (when I asked him this year, he told me that he never retracts ), but if it had been any other dr, there's no telling how many times my boys could have been retracted without my even knowing it was bad.

Please don't blame yourself. Just know that this happens so very quickly, so that you'll be better prepared next time. Knowledge is power, right?

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#21 of 28 Old 12-31-2007, 12:26 AM
 
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I'm confused why she was looking in his diaper (sorry, didn't catch the age of child) if he came in for an EI? I hope he's okay and I would have been furious as well.

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#22 of 28 Old 12-31-2007, 12:44 AM
 
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Hugs to you mama. I didn't realize too before here that retraction was bad. On another site I'm on, they talk about it like it's no big deal. So, now I know. I know you're hurting mama, but I'm sure the little one will be fine if your dh says he does it in the tub

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#23 of 28 Old 12-31-2007, 01:19 AM
 
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Of course you should be able to trust your doctor. You did everything you could- and you knew to watch, many don't...
But you shouldn't have to watch, the doctor should be better educated about it than you are! That's part of the job description :

I have absolutely no faith in MDs after reading this forum (the CAC in general). They are all human with their own attitudes and agenda-- not the knowledgable caregivers they all should be.

---feeling like an emu on acid---
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#24 of 28 Old 12-31-2007, 10:03 AM
 
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Hugs to you mama. I didn't realize too before here that retraction was bad. On another site I'm on, they talk about it like it's no big deal. So, now I know. I know you're hurting mama, but I'm sure the little one will be fine if your dh says he does it in the tub
I hope you share the information you have learned here with the people at the other site. It is imparative that we get the word out there so that we can prevent boys being circed later in life due to improper care when they are little.

 
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#25 of 28 Old 12-31-2007, 03:01 PM
 
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kathteach, don't listen to ulla. She is a pro-circ troll. I've never seen her give compassion nor support for our cause.

We're here for you. You did NOTHING wrong! It frustrates me to no end that doctors go for a normal set of male genitals during an ear, throat, or even when the child is seen for a broken limb! (the broken limb idea is made up. I actually have never heard of that happening but I wouldn't be surprised if it ever did.)

((hugs))
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#26 of 28 Old 12-31-2007, 09:33 PM
 
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We better hurry up and chop his ear's off then!! otherwise he may get another infection ;-)

LOL, Dr.'s are moron's, im sorry you had to go threw that :-(
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#27 of 28 Old 01-01-2008, 03:42 AM
 
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This has always irked me in general. Why must they always check and touch my sons penises when I take them in? They always check their testicles... they were dropped last time, shouldn't they still be dropped?
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#28 of 28 Old 01-01-2008, 03:44 PM
 
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Generally once they drop they stay dropped. But they are also looking for hernias as well. Some hernias can be hard to find but can turn into a majob problem so that is why they are forever more messing with them. That still dosnt excuse them grabbing the penis and messing with it tho.

 
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