.. and I said, "Well, you should be scared.. for your son".
That's how my conversation about circumcision ended with my very close to my heart cousin who is due to deliver her second son the last week in April. Her first son, who is 2.5 yrs old, was circumcised.
Quick back story..
After casually asking her about whether her 1st was circumcised and finding out the answer, we had a very fast "well, I think it's wrong", "well, I don't know much about it, but *D* wanted it done" kind of conversation about it.. She agreed to hear me out regarding circumcision and allow me to educate her since this next one is a little boy. She has no computer access and is pretty computer illiterate, anyway. Her husband is a very.. ummm.. "I am the man of the house" kind of guy. He's not jerky to her at all times, but the ultimate decision with just about anything is HIS, period.
I have printed out a BUNCH of information about it.. from the religious aspect (I know that we're not allowed to discuss that here, but they're not Jewish), pain, breastfeeding problems, the procedure itself, etc etc etc. I literally have a stack of papers almost an inch high. I talked to her on the phone today and mentioned that all of the info would be on the way this week. We talked a about it a tiny bit.. a little about the procedure itself, why it's still done these days, the threat of MRSA, adequate pain relief. Well, this is what I found out on her end.
She had an emergency c-section under general anesthesia and I guess, was pretty out of it. She knew NOTHING about what circ entails at all. She didn't research it, nothing.. she was under the impression that it was just always done. They never discussed it beyond the doctor asking, "is he getting circ'd?" - hubby pipes in with "OH
The day they did the circ, which was 48 hrs after his birth, I guess they had told them that he would be strapped to the board and given a sugar pacifier thing.. she said that she didn't want him to have that and that she didn't want him strapped to the board, either. So, hubby is actually allowed to hold baby J while doc circs him. I asked her out of curiosity how long Baby J had been gone from her arms while he was getting circ'd. She said, maybe 15-20 minutes. I said that unfortunately, it was probably pretty safe to assume he had no pain relief.. she said that surely he HAD to have something since hubby was there.. I said that it was highly doubtful. They simply didn't have enough time. She doesn't know for sure because she was so out of it and they never discussed it afterward!!!!! All she knows is that the baby wouldn't breastfeed for HOURS afterward.
She told me that she would go through all of the info.. that I could probably really easily
convince her, but that there is no way in HELL we would be able to convince her hubby. He's that adamant about it. He's "cut" and "so was Baby J", "he's just not going to allow this".
We talked a little more about the procedure and risks.. and that's when she stopped me with "I really don't want to hear anymore and if you keep going, I won't want to read the paperwork, either.. So, please stop, you're scaring me..". I said, "Well, you should be scared.. for your son" and ended the conversation.
Does anyone have any links geared toward circumcised fathers? I mean, that would help convince HIM that it's ok for THIS son to stay whole?
This is not going to be easy at all. I mean, hell, he actually held his newborn down in the hospital to be circ'd with no pain meds.
So, let's say this information does convince her and he refuses to listen? What the hell do I do then? Let it go? She's a SAHM, who rarely leaves the house, who's over 950 miles away from me. I can guarantee this is going to cause a huge fight and it's quite likely that she'll cave
she's not headstrong at all.
Sorry this got so long, but I'm feeling rather overwhelmed right now. I KNOW I can convince her. I heard it in her voice and I felt it in her heart.. she's regretting it. She couldn't even bear to hear it. I just don't know what to do about HIM.. I've only met the guy once and that was 8 yrs ago.