Uncirc DH wants to Circ son...(m) - Mothering Forums

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Old 08-24-2003, 01:04 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Background...DH is from Spain & he & everyother male in his family are intact including our nephews. I was pro circ until I met DH & then the experience with him COMLPETELY changed my mind now I am VERY VERY anti-circ. Now that I am pregnant with our son all of a sudden he tells me he wants Nathan to be circ. He can not come up with a reason why. I need help in getting him to change his mind. I have even tried telling him that what he wants does not matter in this state, that the state of Texas does what the mother wants. I just need some help letting him know that keeping our son intact is the right thing to do. This is completely tearing me up inside.

Please help...

Keri & Nathan Alexander 34w2d
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Old 08-24-2003, 01:31 AM
 
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Is he willing to go and get his own penis cut. :
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Old 08-24-2003, 01:34 AM
 
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Keri
settle down, not worth the stress to your unborn babe.
But, it does sound like you need to have a heart to heart with your DH and find out his underlying reasons. Then, it will be easier to convert him and make this a win win situation. I would also provide him with LOTS of anti circ info. Mothering has a great publication and there are lots of great books

K
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Old 08-24-2003, 01:35 AM
 
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Oh wow, I'm sorry and surprised that you are going through this. Did your dh have problems with being intact that would make him want to do this to his son? I cannot imagine why especially being intact himself that he would want to.

Has he ever witnessed a circ? It really is not a nice way to enter the world. I have a few links with some info that might help, I hope it does.

Procedural
http://www.circumcisionquotes.com/methods.html

General info,
http://www.mothering.com/10-0-0/html...cision85.shtml
http://www.circumcision.org/info.htm
http://www.eskimo.com~gburlin/mgm/facts.html
http://www.infocirc.org/facts.htm
http://www.infocirc.org/vice.htm
http://www.infocirc.org/MensHlth.htm

Rates,
http://www.courtchallenge.com/refs/rate1m.html
http://www.cirp.org/library/statistics/bollinger3/

Medical communities,
http://www.nocircnc.org/medicalstatements.htm
http://www.circumcision.org/studies.htm
http://www.icigi.org/Downloads/FullDisclosure.pdf

Risks and complications,
http://www.infocirc.org/uti2.htm
http://www.nocirc.org/consent/form.htm
http://www.circumcisionquotes.com (then go to "the issues" then to "STDs/Complications/Caring for the penis" Then scroll down on the left to "Complications of circumcision with photos"

If he comes up with any reason as to why he wants this done, please come back and let us know, maybe we can find something spacific to help.

Take care and let us know how things go,
Tara

Tara Momma to Callum and Gavin
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Old 08-24-2003, 01:42 AM
 
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Two good articles to check :

Protect Your Uncircumcised Son: Expert Medical Advice for Parents
http://www.mothering.com/10-0-0/html...rcson103.shtml


Mothering explores why circumcision is hardly ever necessary, and how parents can empower themselves to avoid ceding to the "claims" of the billion-dollar-a-year circumcision industry.
http://www.mothering.com/10-0-0/html...cision85.shtml
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Old 08-24-2003, 01:48 AM
 
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I have a story that will definitely change his mind! My mom went to high school with a man who eventually went on to become an OB-GYN. In the mid-1980s, at a hospital in Atlanta, he botched a circumcision. The penis was so damaged that the baby had to undergo a sex change! The Dr. was involved in a huge lawsuit!

If you want the article about this, Frank posted the links in another thread that I told this story in a while back.
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Old 08-24-2003, 11:38 AM
 
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Katherine:

Not only did he totally remove the glans of that boy, another doctor did the very same thing the same day at the same hospital. It has never been made known publicly what happened to the other boy, whether he had a sex change operation or not. The parents of one of the boys settled with the insurance company for $23 million but it has never been made public what happened to the other. We may be hearing something more on this soon. The boys are nearing 18 years old and the settlement was with the equipment manufacturer. I would not be surprised to see a suit against the hospital and doctor in the near future when these boys are able to sue on their own.

It's just amazing how much secrecy there is in these cases!





Frank
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Old 08-24-2003, 02:49 PM
 
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T How bogus is it that a boy who gets his penis damaged is turned into a girl through a sex change operation, as if you have to have a penis to be a boy, never mind about genetics and hormones!

Back on topic: Keri, this must be very hard for you, especially since your precious baby is going to be born so soon! While you're working on your dh, make sure to tell your OB, your pediatrician, and the hospital - in writing - that you do not consent to a circumcision and will sue anyone who gets near your son with a scalpel.

Tell your husband that it's your baby's body, and no one but your baby has the right to make a decision to cut off a piece of it. Then tell your husband that if he wants to undergo a circumcision without anesthesia, fine, but he still doesn't get to do it to your innocent baby!

Hang in there, mama. Deep calming breaths. It will be OK!

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Old 08-24-2003, 05:51 PM
 
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I have been putting together a folder on circ and male anatomy.I just came across this site on restoration and I thought the page on what is LOST as a result of circumcision that can not be gotten back through restoration might be something useful for your dh to read. http://www.norm.org/lost.html

I will probably include this in my folder for my own dh who was circed around age 5. I too am very curious why your intact husband would want to cut his son.Do let us know what you find out and best wishes to you.
My dh is on/off pro-circ for social and religious reasons,and I always tell him it will be the last thing he(and who ever participates) does in this life.
Sara
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Old 08-24-2003, 10:08 PM
 
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RE: " I always tell him it will be the last thing he(and who ever participates) does in this life."


Yeah! I like that wishy-washy, gentle, non-confrontational approach. I assume you are holding a 12 gauge as you are saying it? :LOL (Where is the shotgun icon?)




Frank
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Old 08-24-2003, 10:15 PM
 
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ha ha... Sara, that sounds like me. It's nice to hear other women who feel as strongly as I do
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Old 08-25-2003, 01:05 AM
 
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Just wanted to say Welcome to another "Nathan"!

You need to find out why your husband suddenly had a change of mind. If I could guess, maybe he heard from friends or co-workers about the "social" issues, or the like. Who knows- but it just seems like maybe he heard a scare-tactic and however irrational that might be, he got scared. Or maybe he just wants his son to feel "American". (Again, irrational, but.....)

Here is my site on info. You are welcome to print out and show him whatever you think he might benefit from. Or just send him the whole link to read at his leisure. http://www.CircumcisionQuotes.com/
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Old 08-25-2003, 03:38 AM
 
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Keri.,
I just wanted to add that DH assumed we would circ ("what's the big deal?"). I looked at him, and said "well, if you really want it done, you have to go in with him and watch him be tied to a board while they cut skin off his penis." I'm not always one for mincing words....

He looked at me and said "well, if you feel that strongly about it." Yeah. I do. If nothing else, I feel that strongly about ELECTIVE SURGERY on my 12 hour old baby.

I hope this gets straightened out for you...

~amey with daniel and nicholas
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