How do you explain to other kids? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 01-26-2008, 12:21 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm going to be teaching a group of 8-11 yr old girls about baby care, and that will include how to change a diaper. Babe is 11 months, and intact, and I know several of the girls have younger brothers, who are likely circed. I don't think I would have noticed at that age, but what do I say if one asks why it looks funny or something like that? There will be another woman there also, who has adult sons, and I don't know what she did or how she would react. Should I include in the instruction that they shouldn't pull the skin back? I see these girls every 2 weeks, and go to church with them/their parents, so I don't want to be too in depth and have parents calling to complain. They probably won't even say anything, but I want to be prepared in case they do. Thanks!

Mama to my little social butterfly 6/13/09

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#2 of 10 Old 01-26-2008, 12:40 AM
 
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In a round about way, you can teach girls about circumcision by using an intact living model and by telling them that:

All boys are born with foreskin [use the word] and some parents chose to have it cut off shortly after birth because they may think it's "cleaner" [use air quotations if you wish lol]... but that's not true. Just taking an extra 2 seconds-- literally-- can make it totally clean AND it avoids the pain of having an unnecessary operation AND gives the boy a lifetime of protection, since that's why a foreskin is there in the first place.

If you encounter a little boy w/ foreskin when cleaning, the ONLY thing you have to do is wipe the outside of it like a finger. DO NOT ever retract because that could cause damage. You don't need to clean the inside of a little girl's vagina, and you don't need to clean the inside of a little boy's penis. Treat them both the same.
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#3 of 10 Old 01-26-2008, 12:43 AM
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even if they don't ask you should teach them how to take care of a boy.they might baby sit one or have one of their own someday.
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#4 of 10 Old 01-26-2008, 12:51 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah, that's good. Maybe I'll just treat it like it's normal (because it is) -this is a boy, just wipe it like a finger, never pull the foreskin back etc. And then explain the difference if one asks. Also, I think I'll say that some people used think it's better to circ, but now we know that there are no medical reasons and it's perfectly healthy for a boy to be whole.

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#5 of 10 Old 01-26-2008, 03:14 AM
 
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I dont think you should get into a whole speech about why parents circ are not. I think the best way to make an impact on these girls, is to not say anything at all, and treat it as normal, or the standard. If they do ask, because of the age range, its probably best to just say something simple and quick, like "o, penises look different from each other" something that answers the question, but does not really talk about circumcision. If you actually talk about circumcision, you cant exactly go into a "circ is wrong discussion" so you would just be saying something that would make circumcision is a normal option and its no big deal.


Also, just wondering. Why are you only teaching girls? Why no boys? Shouldn't they be learning this stuff too, its not the 1950's anymore, they are going to have to do that stuff one day too.
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#6 of 10 Old 01-26-2008, 03:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by perspective View Post
I dont think you should get into a whole speech about why parents circ are not. I think the best way to make an impact on these girls, is to not say anything at all, and treat it as normal, or the standard. If they do ask, because of the age range, its probably best to just say something simple and quick, like "o, penises look different from each other" something that answers the question, but does not really talk about circumcision. If you actually talk about circumcision, you cant exactly go into a "circ is wrong discussion" so you would just be saying something that would make circumcision is a normal option and its no big deal.
Yeah, you're probably right. I do plan on treating it as normal, and won't say anything unless they bring it up. Also, my church has a program for the girls and a program for the boys at this age. It's every two weeks and I decide which activities to do for the girls. I don't know what the boys do. I do know that they recently had one where they babysat/entertained young children as a service project but beyond that, I have no clue.

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#7 of 10 Old 01-26-2008, 03:51 AM
 
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Yeah, that's good. Maybe I'll just treat it like it's normal (because it is) -this is a boy, just wipe it like a finger, never pull the foreskin back etc. And then explain the difference if one asks. Also, I think I'll say that some people used think it's better to circ, but now we know that there are no medical reasons and it's perfectly healthy for a boy to be whole.
This sounds awesome. Very natural, commanding enough to be taken seriously.
I know when I was in that age range and in Girl Scouts, we had a lady give us a puberty talk. She was really cool and had breast and testicle exam models where you actually felt for lumps... anyway. She just really was matter of fact and totally cool about everything and it wasn't a bunch of hysterical little girls. We really wanted to know what she was saying. Heloo-- a respectable woman talking about a penis to prepubescent girls? They are going to listen to what you say. And you have a chance to say something extremely important- and I think it will come naturally.

It is also a chance that you might be explaining how to take care of a circumcised penis and whether you want to get into detail about changing bandages and vasoline...

---feeling like an emu on acid---
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#8 of 10 Old 01-26-2008, 03:57 AM
 
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Originally Posted by notyetamommy View Post
Yeah, you're probably right. I do plan on treating it as normal, and won't say anything unless they bring it up. Also, my church has a program for the girls and a program for the boys at this age. It's every two weeks and I decide which activities to do for the girls. I don't know what the boys do. I do know that they recently had one where they babysat/entertained young children as a service project but beyond that, I have no clue.
Sounds good.

I saw an uncircumsized baby when I was about 8, and I did ask my mom about it later.

If most boys where you live are circumsized, for sure explain about not retracting. I didn't know about that til I was pregannt and talking to other moms. Guess it'd be god to explain either way, come to think of it!
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#9 of 10 Old 01-26-2008, 05:35 AM
 
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Originally Posted by perspective View Post
I dont think you should get into a whole speech about why parents circ are not. I think the best way to make an impact on these girls, is to not say anything at all, and treat it as normal, or the standard. If they do ask, because of the age range, its probably best to just say something simple and quick, like "o, penises look different from each other" something that answers the question, but does not really talk about circumcision. If you actually talk about circumcision, you cant exactly go into a "circ is wrong discussion" so you would just be saying something that would make circumcision is a normal option and its no big deal.


Also, just wondering. Why are you only teaching girls? Why no boys? Shouldn't they be learning this stuff too, its not the 1950's anymore, they are going to have to do that stuff one day too.
I'd just like to point out that 8-11 year olds aren't toddlers, they do need to have things explained in more detail, it's no good saying just that penises are just different from each other, or they are going to get totally the wrong idea and think that some just come circumcised as standard.

I agree about not getting into the whole circumcision arguments, but it shouldn't be brushed under the carpet either, this is the age when you can really make a difference, especially about the "difficult to clean" myth.
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#10 of 10 Old 01-26-2008, 09:51 AM
 
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If it were me I would stick to the facts. I would say any you just wipe the penis off like a finger and NEVER pull the skin back since it is attached. Make the intact penis the default and not even mention circ. Unless it comes up then I would go into more detail about how some parents choose to cut part of the penis off but it is not medically needed. etc.

 
SAHMlady.gifread.giflovin' trekkie.giffan intactivist.gifwinner.jpg to loveeyes.gifenergy.gifDD 10/00 & superhero.gifmoon.gifDS 10/04 ribbonpb.gifIf your ds is intact, keep him safe, visit the Case Against Circ forumnocirc.gifCirc, a personal choice, Your sonsyes.gifbrokenheart.gif11/98brokenheart.gif6/99ribbonbrown.gifanti-tobaccoribbonyellow.gifThyroid cancer survivor. With cat.gif& goldfish.gif & (Boxer)dog2.gif wishing 4 whale.gif&ribbonwhite.gifsigncirc1.gifselectivevax.gifdelayedvax.gif

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