Congratulations, DivinDaddy! (and, since I assume wife is reading this too - congratulations to both of you!)
Where do things stand now?
I think the reminder that the AAP doesn't recommend circumcision, and the fact that the rate is dropping to 50% or lower, depending on where one is in the USA, are both telling.
Does your wife know that the foreskin which is removed is then sold to cosmetic companies for use in facial creams?
DH and I have had two girls, no sons. When we decided not to circ, we weren't really informed - we thought that the foreskin was just a little flap of skin, but didn't see why it had to be removed (and our Ped is very opposed to circumcision, and told us about the AAP's lack of recommendation for circ). In the past year, I've learned a lot more about circumcision and what's involved.
Honestly, it explains some real challenges that dh and I have, sexually.
While it's nice to know what's caused our challenges -- that doesn't make it any more fun to HAVE those challenges.
There are lots of anecdotal stories of circ not causing any sexual problems -- but there's lots of research which shows what the foreskin's function is, and that shows that sometimes there are longterm sexual issues as a result of infant circumcision. I really wish that FIL and MIL had known to say "NO" to dh's circ. Can your wife accept the very real possibility that her ds would resent her (and you too) for circing him when he's older?? Does she want a DIL who feels sad when she looks closely at her husband's penis and sees the circ scar? Does she want to risk them having an unhappy sex life?
There are some good links here - the regrets thread would also be very good to check out. I'd recommend finding a Ped who is not pro-circ. And - a very large issue to continue to look at and discuss, is the risk of staph infection at the circ site, etc. for an infant.
The bottom line is that your son can always get a circumcision later, if he wants one. But until he's old enough to be asking
for one, his genitals aren't really anyone else's business - especially adult friends of you/your wife. When he's older, if he does want a circ (which is highly unlikely especially once he figures out what the foreskin does for him and his partners
) - he can have adequate pain relief, and the person giving him the circ will be far more able to give a circ which won't be too tight etc., and won't cause as many sexual problems for him.
In terms of whether his genitals are attractive and acceptable - the people that should matter to, are him and his sexual partners. I'm pretty sure that your wife is not expecting her son to prefer women who are 18-30 years older than him, as sexual partners. The girls his age are going to be familiar with, comfortable with (and frankly, attracted to) an intact penis, given the current trends.