Let's save the plastibell for the baby book! - Mothering Forums

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Old 04-16-2008, 01:06 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I was visiting some friends and they brought out the dh's baby book so show how much their son looked like him as a baby. I was flipping through it and came to page with a cord stump and next to it something I didn't recognize. Written next to it was "plastibell". Hanging off of the red tainted plastic, was what I could only assume to be part of his dried up foreskin. I wanted to throw up. Why would you save this? Ugh

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Old 04-16-2008, 01:08 AM
 
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Gross
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Old 04-16-2008, 01:19 AM
 
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That's disgusting.
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Old 04-16-2008, 01:19 AM
 
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Wow that is really horrible what a sad reminder for that little boy when he grows up.
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Old 04-16-2008, 01:20 AM - Thread Starter
 
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To be clear, this was the baby book for the adult father, not the baby. I wonder how he feels about seeing it.

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Old 04-16-2008, 02:31 AM
 
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Disgusting and it gives you a perfect excuse to educate these people!
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Old 04-16-2008, 02:43 AM
 
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disgusting and sad because it shows the foreskin that never will grow
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Old 04-16-2008, 11:38 AM
 
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To be clear, this was the baby book for the adult father, not the baby. I wonder how he feels about seeing it.

When this thread first came up, I didn't comment on it. I had an initial reaction and felt I had to let it sink in before I commented for fear that I would go overboard but in the days since, my reaction has not changed.

Now, when I was born, doctors were still circumcising boys without permission of the parents. I know for a fact that this happened in my hometown area. My parents are both dead so this issue of whether or not they agreed to my circumcision can not be explained to me.

I suspect that if I did find a dead and dried out part of my genitals in my baby book I would be enraged. It would appear to be proof positive that my parents did this to me consciously and with their full participation and that my dead dried out genital parts were kept as some kind of morbid trophy instead of a keepsake. It's just too morbid to be a keepsake.

That being the case, I suspect it would have caused a permanent gulf between me and at least my mother and probably my father as well. I don't think I would have ever gotten over it. It would be an implied statement that they were proud of what they had done to me and wanted to keep my dead and dried out genital parts as a reminder.


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Old 04-16-2008, 12:48 PM
 
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That is sick...
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Old 04-16-2008, 12:51 PM
 
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Eww. But then I think saving the cord stump is pretty gross too. A lock of baby hair I can undestand, but a dried up piece of skin? :Puke

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Old 04-16-2008, 01:03 PM
 
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I think it's gross and sad. It's like when they take a picture of the baby boy fresh from the mother and put him on the scale for weighing or shortly after he's cleaned up. I only think: "*sigh* The last known pictures of an intact [insert boy's name here]." He'll grow up and see how he was born and how he should have stayed until he was old enough to decide for himself. Then you see a couple days later pictures titled "first bath" and you see a bloody raw glans.

Some parents say "I don't even know what an uncircumcised penis looks like; I don't even think I saw what he looked like before he was circumcised.", even though sometimes the proof is there.

I'm kind of wandering off-topic here, but it all comes back to that horid reminder of I use to look like this at one point (the circ'd boy, man saying).
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Old 04-16-2008, 01:03 PM
 
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Unfortunately, this sounds just like my MIL--I'd been hoping she was one-of-a-kind. When we were expecting DS2 she kept going on and on about how she saved DH's 'bell' and how 'cute' his 'little penis' looked afterward :Puke. When she saw me change DS's diaper for the first time, she was shocked (to put it diplomatically), and wouldn't let it drop until DH finally told her "you know, I really wish you hadn't done that to me!". She wasn't around when DS1 was born, so her attitude was a complete surprise to me--I can almost understand parents who do it because of undue pressure or lack of knowledge, but this sort of rabid enthusiasm for butchery is just disgusting.

I'm afraid I didn't say much of anything to her at the time--I couldn't even really think beyond 'WTF--is she really serious?' I'm more prepared now, although she hasn't brought it up again.
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Old 04-16-2008, 01:19 PM
 
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Unfortunately, this sounds just like my MIL--I'd been hoping she was one-of-a-kind. When we were expecting DS2 she kept going on and on about how she saved DH's 'bell' and how 'cute' his 'little penis' looked afterward :Puke. When she saw me change DS's diaper for the first time, she was shocked (to put it diplomatically), and wouldn't let it drop until DH finally told her "you know, I really wish you hadn't done that to me!". She wasn't around when DS1 was born, so her attitude was a complete surprise to me--I can almost understand parents who do it because of undue pressure or lack of knowledge, but this sort of rabid enthusiasm for butchery is just disgusting.

I'm afraid I didn't say much of anything to her at the time--I couldn't even really think beyond 'WTF--is she really serious?' I'm more prepared now, although she hasn't brought it up again.
Bravo to your husband for saying that to his mother! And same to you to say it to her. And leaving your sons intact!!!
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Old 04-16-2008, 02:02 PM
 
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The Jewish grandprents did this same thing in "Meet the Parents 2".
I'm sure it's not as uncommon as we think...

Just when you think it can't get anymore disturbing......
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Old 04-16-2008, 02:23 PM
 
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I think it's gross and sad. It's like when they take a picture of the baby boy fresh from the mother and put him on the scale for weighing or shortly after he's cleaned up. I only think: "*sigh* The last known pictures of an intact [insert boy's name here]."
I feel the same way when a friend shows me a newborn (pre-circ) picture of her boy. I always feel sad that it was the only time he got to be intact, and he didn't yet know the horrible experience he was about to go through.

And big EW on saving a plastibell in a baby book. YUCK.
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Old 04-16-2008, 02:49 PM
 
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Eww. But then I think saving the cord stump is pretty gross too. A lock of baby hair I can undestand, but a dried up piece of skin? :Puke
At least the cord stump is something that naturally comes off, and is something that helped give the baby life.

But yeah, I don't think I could have caught myself and not been absolutely horrified at seeing something circ-related in a baby book. Ick ick sick.

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Old 04-16-2008, 03:06 PM
 
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Wow if I was that boy, ad I found that book when I was 15 or so. I would be like Frank, totally enraged, and dont know if I could connect to my parents again. If that had been me, I know for a fact that the first thing I would have done is take out my birth certificate and those actual keep sakes, and hide them. Then I would take the baby books and everything inside them, and burn them.

I honestly believe that would have been my gut reaction.
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Old 04-16-2008, 03:17 PM
 
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circ is one of the most important things i am passionate about. my brother is having a baby and i am trying to give them as much info on keeping him (if its a boy) intact that i can.

my mom saved my brother and i never thought twice about it. i actually forgot all about it until now.

yeah, it is sick and it gross and it is like a nasty little trophy. but as much as i hate that parents circ children it pisses me off to no end when people bash other parents for it (parents that don't know, not parents that do and decide to do it anyway). not everyone knows. i was young when i had my first son and he is circed (none of the others are though). i didn't have a computer and then one i had access to didn't have anti circ stuff on it where i was looking. i didn't know to look for stuff like that. i didn't know i could choose not to do it, i was handed a paper and told to sign for the circ. i just didn't know. this stuff isn't on the tv much, it's not in mainstream mags, its not in your doctors office. you are a lucky mama if you just happen on this info.
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Old 04-16-2008, 03:50 PM
 
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Reminds me of Meet the Fockers. That was pretty gross too, IMO.

I just can't see why anyone would want to keep that! I think it's okay to keep something if it's SUPPOSED to come off: umbilical stump, baby teeth, lock of hair (toenail clippings... to each their own). But to cut off part of your baby's body and keep it truely grosses me out! I think it's every bit as disgusting as keeping any other amputated limb (maybe moreso, because I can't think of any other body part that would be amputated for anything less than a dire emergency!)

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Old 04-16-2008, 04:29 PM
 
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as much as i hate that parents circ children it pisses me off to no end when people bash other parents for it (parents that don't know, not parents that do and decide to do it anyway). not everyone knows.
I just wanted to say I totally agree... Sometimes this board can make me a little uncomfortable, because I understand that people are very passionate about their beliefs (as am I), but I just deem myself blessed to have come to the conclusions I have.

Everyone has a different set of life experiences and it makes me uncomfortable to get too judgemental. "If I don't know my options, I don't have any." - Diana Korte I think that applies to a lot of people when it comes to certain things. Honestly some people do not even know that cloth diapers still exist, or that not circ'ing is an option. And then I have a family member who is an RN and swears that her professors--doctors of course--instructed her (and this was recently) that circ is absolutely medically beneficial. I mean don't get me started on that...but I do believe her...and under the circumstances it's rather hard to tell her otherwise.

Anyway just my two cents. I get really upset too, but figure assuming everyone thinks like me (or should) isn't going to change attitudes.
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Old 04-16-2008, 05:19 PM
 
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but as much as i hate that parents circ children it pisses me off to no end when people bash other parents for it
I can understand how you feel, but I think your opinion might be slightly different if that innocent mistake took something significant from you.

I guess part of my opinion is based off still being kind of young. Certainly on the teen board that I go to, the discussion is very different then here. Here we view the problem is the medical world, while on the teen site, the problem is the parents. (you should see some of the angry posts)

The younger you are, the more you look up to your parents and believe they cant make mistakes, they are the ultimate source of wisdom. I think as young people are exposed to this issue, its more then just the issue, its this sudden wack in the head where you realize parents cant live up to the mythical standards we set for them.

But on a slightly more positive note, (at least with me) as you get older you realize your parents are normal people, just as likely to make mistakes, and you learn to forgive them.
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Old 04-16-2008, 05:39 PM
 
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"Here son, look at this - proof positive that we chose to mutilate you"

OP - Kudos to you - I would have puked all over that book that would have been a nice souvenir.

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Old 04-16-2008, 06:19 PM
 
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Disturbing to say the least.

I did keep my son's umbilical stump though...it does look kind of yucky in his baby book, but it wasn't amputated, and I couldn't bear to throw away something that once connected us, and helped him to grow into the cute little boy he is today
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Old 04-16-2008, 08:36 PM
 
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I think it's gross and sad. It's like when they take a picture of the baby boy fresh from the mother and put him on the scale for weighing or shortly after he's cleaned up. I only think: "*sigh* The last known pictures of an intact [insert boy's name here]." He'll grow up and see how he was born and how he should have stayed until he was old enough to decide for himself. Then you see a couple days later pictures titled "first bath" and you see a bloody raw glans.


If it makes you feel any better...

Fresh from the mother
First bath
Still intact at 8 months
and 17 months

~~~~

I did keep the umbilical stump as well... but it's not in the baby book, since most would be grossed out. It's in a keepsake box.

But uh, keeping the instruments of torture? :Puke

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Old 04-16-2008, 08:52 PM
 
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Thanks, Sunny. I appreciate that.

---

In addition, I don't think anyone here would bash a parent who didn't know better (it just isn't something you can fault someone on)....... but if a parent does read the info and still goes through with it... well, I cannot but help to feel a sense of malice and betrayal on their part.
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Old 04-16-2008, 09:09 PM
 
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Ewwwww.

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Old 04-16-2008, 10:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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circ is one of the most important things i am passionate about. my brother is having a baby and i am trying to give them as much info on keeping him (if its a boy) intact that i can.

my mom saved my brother and i never thought twice about it. i actually forgot all about it until now.

yeah, it is sick and it gross and it is like a nasty little trophy. but as much as i hate that parents circ children it pisses me off to no end when people bash other parents for it (parents that don't know, not parents that do and decide to do it anyway). not everyone knows. i was young when i had my first son and he is circed (none of the others are though). i didn't have a computer and then one i had access to didn't have anti circ stuff on it where i was looking. i didn't know to look for stuff like that. i didn't know i could choose not to do it, i was handed a paper and told to sign for the circ. i just didn't know. this stuff isn't on the tv much, it's not in mainstream mags, its not in your doctors office. you are a lucky mama if you just happen on this info.
I hope you don't think I was bashing the mother that saved this for circing. I understand regret and not knowing better. But I saw a bloody piece of plastic with dried up baby pieces, how could I not feel nauseous about it? I didn't start screaming at the woman that she was a horrible mother.

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Old 04-17-2008, 12:28 AM
 
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I have absolutely no sympathy for the mother that kept the plastibell. I can understand a mother who just circed because she thought it was the only option. (I have absolutely no understanding of how a person cant see not cutting something off is a safe option, and I will admit it is slightly irritating. But I do not blame them, because if they had known the right information back then, they would have protected the rights of their sons)

But to keep the circumcision device is just sick to me, and I believe is a sign of more severe problems existing in that womans mind.
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Old 04-17-2008, 01:01 AM
 
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There are other pro-circ forums/parenting boards where the 'joke' comes up on occasion.... Even going so far as the mother presenting it to the wife on the wedding day (ha ha, aren't you glad he's not so tiny anymore) So the mothers may be a little 'conditioned' to thinking it is acceptable, normal. And don't realize the behind the scene work from the sick fetishists posting the 'joke' posing as 'concerned' parents or whatever.

It is sickening.

But then, mil brought her baby book on a visit when they came for my dh's birthday-- which included dh's certificate. I believe she forgot it was in there, and when my ds asked, 'what's that' she mumbled it and went on (thankfully)- although maybe it would have been interesting to hear her explain that one. I was in the other room and busy with dd, so I never got to see dh's baby book, but I wanted to rip it out, and also was tempted to see who's name was on it.

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Old 04-17-2008, 02:35 AM
 
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Yeah I still think that here is a woman who back then honestly did not know any differently. If you don't know it is even an option not to circ...then in her mind she probably did equate it with the cord stump, and she was just that kind of person who kept everything (you should see my dh's grandfather's baby book--his mother wrote everything and I mean everything down--would be 97 this year but passed two years ago). The real problem as I see it is not with this woman personally but with the bigger picture, the social conditioning that warped her into thinking that way.
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