I tell the nurse we are NOT circing. She says no problem, she'll mark it on my chart. Ok, cool. I have the baby, and am taken to recovery.
Nurse 1 comes in and asks if he's getting circ'ed in the morning. No, I said, we're not circ'ing him. Ok she says and leaves.
Nurse 2 comes in to schedule the circumcision, you know to go over risks, what's done, care of, blah blah blah. I tell her we are NOT circ'ing. She leaves.
Nurse 3 comes in and while chit chatting asks about when he's going to be circ'ed. For Pete's SAKE, WE'RE NOT CIRC'ING! Arg! Does no one read the chart?
Next morning... The doctor who preforms the circumcisions walks into the room to take the baby to do the circumcision. Huh, what? With no appointment? With no approval forms?? I wonder what would have happened had I been asleep, if ds slept in the silly plastic 'bassinette'!
Later that evening Nurse *4* asks if he's being snipped the next day. OMG come ON people, that's SIX people asking about circ'ing my son, five of them AFTER it should have been clear from one of our charts that no way was this happening!
Ds never left my site the whole stay. Its sad that if he would have had to leave one of my main reasons for him not being alone would be so they wouldn't sneak in snipping him!
Anyways, I just wanted to share that... Ds is home and whole And staying that way!
It shouldn't be solicited after the first inquiry. After that, it becomes a subtle form of coercion. Actually, I don't think the mother should be asked. I think she should have to specifically request it, unprompted. I also think it should be after she has been counseled thoroughly about all of the risks and implications before she even gets to the hospital.
Imagine that it's tonsils. The doctor tells you that they are just insignificant little flaps of skin and removing them will only take a minute and there will be life long health benefits. There may be some truth to that. After the fifth time you have been asked, you are going to begin thinking that maybe you should go ahead and have them out. After all, if it weren't beneficial, they wouldn't continue asking you.
Here's the real scenario . . . . He does tonsilectomies on your child and two more that day. He's finished in about 20-30 minutes and pockets $900.00. On the way to his office, he stops off at the bank and makes the payment on his Mercedes The babies are fractious for a few days and refuse to nurse but get over it and never realize that part of their immune system may have been compromised. The doctor gets away scot free!
I had tons of issues with the care I received when I gave birth (and I *work* at the hospital, so I knew how things are supposed to work, and all of the nurses knew I work here, so you'd think they'd be on their best behavior!) and I wrote a 4 page letter to the CEO giving as much detail as I could. The letter was sent to the AVP of every department that was involved (4 or 5 iirc) and I got a personal apology from every single one of them as well as a $50 gift certificate.
Hospitals take complaints about care very very seriously, especially when it shows that the nurses aren't paying attention the chart. ( in my case, the nurse brought me the wrong dosage of a blood thinner I was taking. we only caught it because I insisted on giving my own shots and saw that it was the wrong sized syringe)
Do-what-ever-didi-wants- said- do it fast!!!
Make a GIANT complaint to the hospital, AND the state medical board. You also may want to find out- in some states it is ILLEGAL to soilicit unnecissary surgery- you might be able to sue them for harassment- contact ARC.
this needs to be stopped- this is harassment.
And HEY- Congratulations on the birth of your BABY!!
I third whateverdidiwants - write a letter while it's fresh in your mind. If you can, name the nurses and doctors by name. Also, make sure to mention that you would have brought civil tort claims against the hospital and the individual "care" providers for pain and suffering, as well as pressed criminal charges for assault and battery if that frickin' doctor had taken Orion away to be mutilated without your consent.
That ought to get their attention.
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I'm so thankful my first was a girl. We were young and stupid and I was trying so hard to be a 'good' patient. :
Congratulations on your new baby.
But I don't have much more detail that what I shared with you all here. I was VERY drugged up for 99% of my stay at the hospital (mag sulfate) and it made things very very fuzzy. I don't have a single name, nor any descriptions, or even acurate times these events occured. I'm just not sure that the letter would be taken seriously in light of that? Any thoughts on that?
If I had realized how serious this was when it was happening I would have gotten names and remembered times... and yes I realize now just how serious it is, but again I was drugged up into a stupor, made it hard to think straight...
BTW, our hospital was great......none of the nurses asked us about circ, nor handed us a consent form.
But our (ex) ped came in to check out the baby, and asked, "When can we schedule the....... " and then he left his sentence hanging, and just gestured to my son's penis.
It was so absurd.........he couldn't even SAY the word "circumcision" but he thought I was going to let him PERFORM one on my baby boy????!!!
Also, this is from noharmm.org (in the "litigation" section):
"Parents who were solicited for circumcision without requesting it----In most states, it is illegal for a medical facility or professional to solicit for unnecessary surgery. Offering or giving a new parent a Circumcision Consent Form is solicitation. If you are presented with such a form that you did not ask for, you may be able to bring legal action against the hospital. Winning such a case could set a legal precedent to stop this solicitation and thereby protect children in the future."
The medical industry is very aware of the furror on this issue. Your letter just may be the straw that "breaks the camel's back."
They will take you seriously. I promise.
Also, I agree with FranklySpeaking, that is coercion!!
I too would write a letter/file a complaint.
It sickens me how so many ppl just ASSUME that every baby boy will be circumcised. One more reason why I will never give birth in a hospital by choice.
BTW, CONGRATS on your baby boy!! I dont think I have offered a formal welcome and congratulations to him and you!!
Welcome to the world Orion Matthew!
Wow, and I thought three in my case was bad. It had been a recurrent nightmare for me so when the third came in with "circumcision care instructions" I actually yelled at her. Didn't think to write a note, though. I totally think you should write! Seriously, even if it isn't exact it is SOMETHING, and it may actually just be that nobody has really thought about this before (or at least, nobody has thought to change their approach since however-many-years-ago when they first put their procedures in place).
Mama, homeschooler, midwife. DD (13yo), DS (11yo), DD (8yo), DD (3yo), somebody new coming in November 2013.
When my daughter was born it wasn't so much of an issue of course. Nobody asked. But when my youngest, Noah, was born, I had a postcard in his bassinet of the "stop circ" cartoon, a sticker in his medical chart in the spot where they put if the circ was completed or not in my room that was the "no" sign in red around "circ". I also put it in my birthplan in RED there was to absolutely be no circumcision and if they asked me about it I would consider it harrassment! (And I had 3 copies of the birthplan.) AND I had one of those "no circ" tshirts for him- which he DID wear eventually before we left the hospital. (We had to stay a little longer because I was group B strep +). There is part on the video where one nurse is telling another "They were very specific about not wanting him circ'd" while they're doing some "normal" stuff with him. This was when I was still delivering the placenta or something. I had 4 or 5 other family members there with me who KNEW what I wanted so I wasn't worried. And up until I was 7 cm or so I was carrying on conversations like we were at Starbucks so....
But you see all I had to go through just to get them NOT to bug me. Plus 4 years helps between births. Maybe there really ARE more people not circ'ing now. The first time I thought just saying "no" to my nurse was enough.
I actually wondered if I had somehow been overly sensitive and somehow "imagined" that they had been badgering ME at the time of my Now-Circed-Five-Year-Old having been newly born!
I DID yell at them that I didn't want to circ. Numerous Times. But x-dh "insisted".
ByTheWay: Congratulations On The Birth Of Your Son!
Thank you for the compliment on Orion He looks like his daddy, with my nose!
The hospital was Kaiser, in Walnut Creek Ca. for anyone who wants to write. I will get a letter together, but it will take awhile I'm sure, my time is pretty much taken up with Orion, and when he's asleep I have to weigh my options (eat, sleep, do dishes, ect)... but I will write something out as soon as I can, and I'll post it here for you all to see I'll cross post to FYT then Lauren.
Aloe, I do think it was simply not looking at my chart as well. Which I could understand with the couple of nurses who were just 'making conversation' with me about it. But for the person who schedules the circ? And *especially* for the doctor or whoever it was who was coming to take Orion for it? Totally no excuse.
|Originally posted by Nathan1097
http://18.104.22.168/Baby's 1 Day Old Pictures 005.jpg
Ds is sitting here on my lap, he just pointed out the baby's eyes, nose, and mouth, then started smothering the monitor with kisses! Then he insisted on me giving the baby a kiss, too!
What a sweetie....he's gonna be a good big brother!
And Orion is such a sweetie, too! Totally deserves to be smothered with kisses!
DS (2/02), DD (3/04), DS (1/06), DD (12/07), and DS (3/10)
~~*~~Not your typical Pastor's Wife!~~*~~
Yup that's my little Orion! I've got more piccies of him on my sig too (no no, I'm not the totally proud mama or anything! :LOL This little guy is 3 weeks old and I've already got about 8 scrapbook pages filled!)
The same thing happened to my friend about circing but they made it out of there intact.
However, after she repeatedly refused Vitamin K shot, they waited til she was asleep and guilted her husband into doing it.
She was NOT happy.