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#1 of 6 Old 06-07-2008, 04:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I don't expect a lot of traffic on this thread - I just want to get it out. This is going to be stream of consciousness writing - not my best work.

I have made some good friends at my co-op preschool. We have a sibling watch program too - it is a great plan for our children.

I have 2 stickers on my car - 1 says "If men were supposed to have foreskins they would have been born with them." and the other is CIRC with a line through it. Not one person in two years has commented negatively or positively but I get the idea that it is not a popluar sentiment although we are in a low circ area.

In the times that I have come into view of boys being changed or peeing next to my boy I have not seen one other intact penis. SAD

The other day I had a child over to my house and ended up having to change his poopy diaper. I was so struck! I cried! HIs penis at 2 years and 3months was so buried and the cut around the head was so absolutely jagged! It was just a travesty.

The kicker of this is that this is the mom I feel most connected to there. She breastfeeds, uses only natural products, insists on organic and is a vegetarian. (I am going to use caps because this is the part that really surprises me.) SHE IS CANADIAN AND HE IS FROM ENGLAND! (We live in the US)

I have plenty of friends so it's not like losing her as a friend would kill me but we have two children each of common age in the same programs for the next few years who absolutely love each other. Right now I can't even look at her I am so upset for her poor son. I mean he seems to have one of those awful circs that will surely cause painful problems not to mention the mess of the poor cutting.

My God - how do such informed, educated, wealthy, worldly people do this to their babies.

That is all. This post can fall off the front page - I just had to say it here.
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#2 of 6 Old 06-07-2008, 05:21 AM
 
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Maybe you should ask her. Maybe there was some "medical" reason and she listened to her doctor. Maybe she was under the false impression that he would be "foreign" and ridiculed in school if he wasn't cut.

Even if she chose to circ' don't give up on her as a friend. A good friend of mine circ'd both her little boys, before I knew how to tell her otherwise. They aren't having more kids, so I never pushed the subject. The other day she tells me, nearly in tears, how bad she feels know that she knows it wasn't necessary. She's started talking to other mom's who CAN still make the right decision.
I understand your frustration though. It makes me sad every day.

Mom of 4 aspiring midwife "Friend"ly seeker
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#3 of 6 Old 06-07-2008, 05:52 AM
 
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If a person did it before I knew them to have a chance to point out what exactly circ. is and the evil of it I wouldn't lose them as a friend. If a person did it even after all the info I'd given them and explanations I don't think I could keep them around.

You know sometimes I don't think people quite 'get' it if they're not from a circ'ing culture. The way it's presented at hospitals here so routine, it's like they're going to get a heel stick or their hearing tested. You really do have to explain it to people sometimes which is why the pictures and videos help.

I don't know how I'd approach your situation. It's hard to say 'what the heck happened to your kids penis' even in a nice way!
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#4 of 6 Old 06-09-2008, 05:58 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mntnmom View Post
Maybe you should ask her. Maybe there was some "medical" reason and she listened to her doctor. Maybe she was under the false impression that he would be "foreign" and ridiculed in school if he wasn't cut.
I agree I think but you have those stickers on your car. Surely she's seen them.

Maybe he had hypospadias and they told her they had to.

Maybe they did it without asking.

Maybe you should ask her husband about it first.
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#5 of 6 Old 06-09-2008, 08:20 AM
 
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Maybe you need to think through this a bit more to determine how you feel toward her.

First, she did not do it. A doctor did it.

Second, she did not make the decision without advice. The many members of the medical community are notorious for pressuring parents into going along with RIC. As a whole, the medical community is, at best, passive agressively pro RIC.

When we had my first son, we told the doctor several times we did not want to RIC. I thought the matter was settled. Then at the birth, just after I had cut the umbilical cord, he baegan trying to convince me to do it anyway. Pacing back and forth, body language, tone of voice, practically pleading with me for the good of my child. It was very difficult to stick to my guns, and i am one independent son of a gun. I believe many would have given in. If my wife were alone, she definitley would have given in, as she was too out of it to think.

Third, she had other advice likely. And much of it could have been wrong, incomplete, and biased.

In my mind it is unfair to put all of this on her. Just as i do not put the burden on my parents for my being RIC. They were NOT given the informatioin to make an informed decision.

So my advice is that if you wish, you can continue your relationship. She could well be a victim rather than a perpetrator.

Regards
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#6 of 6 Old 06-09-2008, 05:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for reading and posting. I will likely never bring this up with her. I do not know her husband at all. Because she has seen my stickers she knows where I stand. What good would it do? We willl be in preschool together for several more years and I am sure it will come up someday and she may explain why he is circd and she may not. I guess at that point I will take it as an opportunity to educate on the matter so that she might encourage her son and two dausghters to keep their future children intact.

It just was so surprising - the last family I would have thought would circ.
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