Expecting soon - help me sway DP - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#61 of 69 Old 07-09-2008, 04:27 AM
 
~girlsmum~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Rural country, south west Ontario, Canada!
Posts: 224
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Has anyone posted here that their DH's or DP's regret having been circ'd?? My DH has followed some threads on circ'ing and after reviewing things WITH me and not against me, he not only would have deeply!!! regretted if we had circ'd our twins if they had been boys, but he regretted having been circ'd himself!!! Now that was profound to me. He thinks he's been maimed, he sees that too much was taken off, AND that it was a violation of his body. We're hoping to adopt a son in the near future and if it's a baby boy, we absolutely will NOT have our son circ'd. It was an old custom which doesn't have any place in today's society. But for now with a houseful of girls I still say

~Patricia~, wife to D, mom to V:, mummy to S/C : , ::. Learning how to be a GREAT mom to my autistic twins and loving it!
~girlsmum~ is offline  
#62 of 69 Old 07-09-2008, 04:41 AM
 
Microsoap's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: London, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,474
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrokeMom View Post
I am so hoping that this was just a front and that maybe he will continue to think about it. I tried the female circumcision card and that did nothing. He said that was not a good example. He is convinced that not only would son #3 be teased by his 2 circ brothers, but also horrible teased at school. He says when he was in school they all made fun of kids who were circ. I told him that being intact is much more common now, and that the possibilitiy of being made fun of is not even close to real reason to get circ. He said something to the effect that he's not going to "ruin" his kids life because he didn't have him circ. I asked what about waiting til he's older and can be circ if he want's. The answer was a big fat No. Now, this may never come up as an issue since I don't plan to have more kids. But plans could change. Either way, I plan to talk to a lot of people/friends/family about this issue. But it just doesn't feel right to not have him backing me up. I hope he will come on board at some point.

Wow, I'd be insulted if I were you. Because what your husband is saying doesn't say much about your sons (or the way you two raise them) if he thinks they'd tease him about having the entire body he was born w/, the choice to alter it IF he wishes and the maximum amount of sexual sensitivity. It sounds like he's defensive and he wants more sons to suffer so he doesn't have to deal w/ it. Sorry to sound so blunt, but that's selfish and cruel (non-) thinking.

"Ruined life" because he was left the way he was born and has a choice?! HA! How about the guys in this world who are not only unhappy that they were mutilated/violated, but those who are outright suicidal over it???!!! You can't get it back once it's gone, but if you're unhappy w/ your adult human body, you're free to alter it anyway that makes you happy; notice I say adult.

http://www.sexasanatureintendedit.com/
"Top Ten (10) Ways MALE Circumcision Hurts WOMEN!"

edit: Response from a LiveJournal entry "Uncut Penises and Admirers' Journal":

Friday, April 4th, 2008 - 10:26 am

[deepanalysis]

!fuck
i'm not uncut, but i wish that i was... i can't believe that my mom fucking chopped off my foreskin. i can never get it back and it's definitely something that i feel bad about.


edit again (lol!) thinking about it: I mean, my god... even ONE voice matters. And if he's that one male who is unhappy that he was circ'd, then that's something he's gotta live w/ for the rest of his life. He deserves the choice! Is it worth the risk (circ'ing)? There's nooooo getting it back. You have NOTHING to lose leaving him the way he was born! That's why I'm such a fierce Intactivist.

Think about it this way-- redhead children are in the definite minority here (for example; though in the U.S., circ'd/intact children are 56%/44% and growing more for the intact side!). Chances are, they're more likely teased; though that doesn't make it right. And you don't dye their hair. In the rare instant your son IS teased, you teach him to retort w/ a realistic statement like: "Oh, yeah? Well, at least I have all of my penis."
Microsoap is offline  
#63 of 69 Old 07-09-2008, 07:53 AM
 
DJay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 76
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I received the routine, no questions asked, circumcision of the 1950's. When I found out what circumcision was, I was deeply curious. The more I studied about it, the more I regretted being circumcised unnecessarily.

I've done the restoration and it helps.

DJ
DJay is offline  
#64 of 69 Old 07-09-2008, 09:42 AM
 
~girlsmum~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Rural country, south west Ontario, Canada!
Posts: 224
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by DJay View Post
I received the routine, no questions asked, circumcision of the 1950's. When I found out what circumcision was, I was deeply curious. The more I studied about it, the more I regretted being circumcised unnecessarily.

I've done the restoration and it helps.

DJ
WOW, you can do a restoration?? That's news to me..........all the documentaries I've watched shows men confronting ppl on the street asking if they were mutilated as they had been and confronting their own mothers but no one ever mentioned that restoration was possible. I'm imagining skin graft but is it worth it for the pain?? you'd go through and can you function fully as if no damage had been done??

This type of convo might be of some interest to those who need some back up for their husbands/partners. My husband would be super interested in being put back together, no kidding!! It's not a joke for some men!!

~Patricia~, wife to D, mom to V:, mummy to S/C : , ::. Learning how to be a GREAT mom to my autistic twins and loving it!
~girlsmum~ is offline  
#65 of 69 Old 07-09-2008, 10:34 AM
 
LavenderMae's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: where I write my own posts!
Posts: 13,477
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Usually men restore using stretching excercises (stretching the penile skin they have to eventually cover their glans). If ther search feature was working you could search, there have been threads here about it. I think there may be a restoration sticky now at the top of this forum.

OUR DAUGHTERS ARE PROTECTED SHOULDN'T OUR SONS BE TOO! :
LavenderMae is offline  
#66 of 69 Old 07-09-2008, 12:07 PM
 
~girlsmum~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Rural country, south west Ontario, Canada!
Posts: 224
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I can try and see what info there is but I don't see my DH being able to stretch what those butchers left him with so many years ago, you can actually see the colour difference where he was cut, how gross is that?? He only allows me to share such intimate det's so that others don't have to suffer the same fate!! What would I be called, an "Intactist"??: K....I found the word,LOL!

~Patricia~, wife to D, mom to V:, mummy to S/C : , ::. Learning how to be a GREAT mom to my autistic twins and loving it!
~girlsmum~ is offline  
#67 of 69 Old 07-09-2008, 12:45 PM
 
DocsNemesis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: I make milk..whats your superpower?
Posts: 3,025
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by tennisdude23 View Post
What exactly is your definition of mainstream? Just curious.
Mainstream to me are parents who have elective cesareans, formula feed by choice, dont babywear or even pick up their babies when they cry, use cry it out, circ, etc etc. These moms pretty much did all of the above-except some had opted not to circ. I do know more AP type parents who may do one or two of the above but are AP with other parts. Even I dont babywear that often Anyway-its not a judgement of them as parents, but I dont fit in well with them because our parenting styles are so different. But the point is-these are the parents that tend to follow the crowd and do whatever is easiest to them (this is my opinion anyway). So the fact that many of them didnt circ surprised me tbh.

Cari-mama to Eriq, Lile, Paikea, Kaidyn, and Mieke is here!! 2/9/10
DocsNemesis is offline  
#68 of 69 Old 07-09-2008, 01:45 PM
 
~girlsmum~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Rural country, south west Ontario, Canada!
Posts: 224
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I don't fit in well with the mainstream idea either, don't forget that mainstream parents also medicate at the slightest fever or ache and pain. I've allowed all 3 of my girls, one 15 and twins 2 years to let a fever work to kill the "issue" that was causing the fever to begin with. I don't have a bottle of Tempera(sp), sorry I don't know the name of them, I use homeopathy as much as possible. I monitor to make sure a fever doesn't get out of hand but if you don't let your kids get nice and sick how are they going to develop their T3 and T4 cells to fight off infection when they get older??

I know, . I prefer to hang with ppl who are like minded to myself, makes things so much easier, lots more to talk about!

~Patricia~, wife to D, mom to V:, mummy to S/C : , ::. Learning how to be a GREAT mom to my autistic twins and loving it!
~girlsmum~ is offline  
#69 of 69 Old 07-09-2008, 04:41 PM
 
tennisdude23's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 415
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by DocsNemesis View Post
Mainstream to me are parents who have elective cesareans, formula feed by choice, dont babywear or even pick up their babies when they cry, use cry it out, circ, etc etc. These moms pretty much did all of the above-except some had opted not to circ. I do know more AP type parents who may do one or two of the above but are AP with other parts. Even I dont babywear that often Anyway-its not a judgement of them as parents, but I dont fit in well with them because our parenting styles are so different. But the point is-these are the parents that tend to follow the crowd and do whatever is easiest to them (this is my opinion anyway). So the fact that many of them didnt circ surprised me tbh.
Ah ok, but I personally don't know anybody, in my family at least, who got a cesarean or did not breastfeed or did not tend to their kids when they cried. Actually, it was on this forum that I learned that a lot of parents don't breastfeed. It was pretty shocking to me because I consider it very normal until a child reaches one or two years of age or when the supply runs dry, lol. With crying, I understand you should distinguish between "needy" and "unneedy" cries and react to the former. I think it's ok to let a kid "cry it out" sometimes, but you should be there when he/she really needs something. I'm not the biggest fan of hitting kids either, but an occasional spank is ok, and I totally believe in pampers. Anyway, thanks for clearing that up. I was just curious; I am not planning to be a father for a long time yet, lol. In fact, I was asking because a lot of stuff that you talk about here I don't consider "crunchy." It's all very mainstream in my family, but then again, a lot my family either resides in Europe and/or have masters and PHDs. So, maybe this is just demographic thing.
tennisdude23 is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off