How did you protect him in the hospital? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 48 Old 07-11-2008, 06:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm curious the steps you all took to protect your sons in the hospital. Our first boy is due in September, we are NOT circumcising, and I am so worried they will take him away and just do it. I just have this horrible gut feeling. I just had a baby 11 months ago so I very clearly remember that even though we were rooming in 100% of the time, there were two times when they took her and left me - once for the hearing test and once for the PKU test. I wasn't worried then - she was my third girl. Now i am terrified they are going to say its for the hearing test and have him circumcised.

I plan to make little t-shirts for him that say DO NOT CIRCUMCISE. He will wear these shirts whenever I am away from him or sleeping. Is there anything else I can do to ensure that no one hurts my son?? Can I actually go with him for hearing tests and stuff, to ensure he isn't injured?

How did you guys protect your sons?
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#2 of 48 Old 07-11-2008, 06:36 PM
 
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I like the idea of those onesies -- great side business. I'd buy one for DS #2!

I guess...literally do not hand him over unless you can accompany him. Or birth at home!
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#3 of 48 Old 07-11-2008, 06:39 PM
 
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If I go to the hospital for the birth (don't know the gender), I'm not letting my kid out of my or DH's sight. I'll be there for the hearing test and PKU because I'm refusing everything else (of course, unless there is a valid problem).
I'll also have a "Do NOT circumcise" shirt for babe, if it turns out to be a boy. Maybe even stickers for the diaper... I can't find the link right now, but someone has already made up and shared signs, stickers, etc just for the newborn nursery!

---feeling like an emu on acid---
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#4 of 48 Old 07-11-2008, 06:39 PM
 
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If possible, don't let them take your baby from you for any reason whatsoever. There is really no reason for it and much can go wrong (like them giving your baby sugar water, pacifiers, vaccines, etc.). In fact, for stuff like the PKU, it's best to nurse through it.
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#5 of 48 Old 07-11-2008, 06:53 PM
 
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We stayed with DS as much as possible. Our hospital insisted he go to the nursery for his check-ups with the pedi, and go with them for the pku and hearing tests. : (they were awful in general, but that is a whole 'nother post!)
DH went with them and waited outside (stupid HIPPA laws wouldn't let him go inside)
I was a new mama and not nearly as strong as I am now. For our next babe he/she won't be going anywhere without us. (especially if it's a he)
We also informed every single person that came into our room that DS was not to be circ'ed. We were still asked often :, but he was left alone.

My aunt is due with a boy in September and also terrified that he will be circ'ed on the sly. I'm making her stickers that say "do not circumcise, do not retract" to place over the fasteners on the diapers. At every dipe change we'll put a fresh one on. (her DH is overseas and may not make it back for the birth) Along with writing it in her birth plan and alerting all the staff we come in contact with.

I think a onesie and/or the stickers are the best bet. The doc would literally have to remove the sticker to remove the dipe. They may be circ happy but they certainly aren't happy about being sued!

G/L and congrats on your baby boy : and the decision to keep him as he was meant to be.

* I am making the stickers from the sheets of return address stickers you can buy at any office supply store. I'm planning on big red lettering. Print and stick, easy peasy!

<3 Dena

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#6 of 48 Old 07-11-2008, 07:46 PM
 
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My DS was in the hospital for 3 weeks after his premature birth. I was worried, but we wrote "NO" in big letters on the consent form and told every doctor and nurse that we came into contact with that he was not to be circ'd. Fortunately most of the peds thought that we made an excellent decision and that there was no need for it. However, the OB that delivered him asked us numerous times if he had been circ'd "yet" or how his circ was healing :

We are expecting a girl this time, but otherwise, I was going to print stickers found here and put them on the baby's diapers.

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#7 of 48 Old 07-11-2008, 07:53 PM
 
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I second the onsie...a friendof mine used ones like this:

Onsie

Onsie

Onsie

Onsie

Onsie

This poor babe has also been in for several surgeries and other proceedures...she writes "do not touch my foreskin or my mother will sue you" on his diapers.

Victim of Birth Rape & Coerced ribboncesarean.gifUnnecesareanribboncesarean.gif What makes people think they can cut up someone else's genitals? nocirc.gif
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#8 of 48 Old 07-11-2008, 08:03 PM
 
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Not a whole lot. We wrote "no circumcision" on the birth plan, and next day when the nurse asked if we'd be circing him we said no. (She said, "Good for you.")

Aren't those stories of babies being circed without written consent from years ago? Does this even happen nowadays?
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#9 of 48 Old 07-11-2008, 08:06 PM
 
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Fyrestorm, I like the last one the best. It's the most clear message. The one that says "My mommy loved me enough to keep me intact." is cute and accurate, but to the non-educated, the word intact may not mean click w/ the term "uncircumcised" (as much as I don't like using that word or perpetuating it as a correct term to use).

If you're making stickers printed out, that's fine. But if you're writing it freehand w/ a marker, make sure your hand writing is legible so word "NOT" is clear.
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#10 of 48 Old 07-11-2008, 08:11 PM
 
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Originally Posted by zinemama View Post
Not a whole lot. We wrote "no circumcision" on the birth plan, and next day when the nurse asked if we'd be circing him we said no. (She said, "Good for you.")

Aren't those stories of babies being circed without written consent from years ago? Does this even happen nowadays?
Tragically, it happens. One that stands out in my memory in recent years was a boy a few years ago in a Winnipeg hospital. So when the devils in the hospital learned of their mistake, they spent 45 minutes trying to convince the parents to allow the operation (already finished). I think it was a nurse who blew the whistle. The parents were devastated (rightfully so!!!) and they sued the hospital successfully.

Parents, you have nothing to lose being more cautious.

P.S. The Winnipeg hospital stopped doing circ's after this... thank goodness!
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#11 of 48 Old 07-11-2008, 09:01 PM
 
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Frequent lurker, but infrequent poster here ... I would be more worried about forcible retraction than an unauthorized circumcision. SOOO many health professionals do not know to "leave it alone." I would not allow the baby out of my sight, nor would I allow anyone else change a diaper or even touch the genitals on an exam. If they needed to see more I would move things for them to see.
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#12 of 48 Old 07-11-2008, 09:28 PM
 
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in my last month of pregnancy, the dr's office gave me a ton of forms to sign, including one for circ. i wrote 'no' 'we do not want this' in huge letters all over that paper. the dr asked me how we came to that decision that day, but no one at the hospital ever mentioned circ at all to us. a different dr was on call when i delivered and i know she must have looked at the form because my fil asked her when they were going to circ him and she said, 'we're not, the parents don't want it'. we hadn't specifically discussed it with her at all. we had rooming in so ds never left us, but no one bothered his penis anyway, thank goodness.

i agree, be vigilant, but don't be too stressed to enjoy your baby's first days!
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#13 of 48 Old 07-12-2008, 03:07 AM
 
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You or his father can go with him anytime, they cannot tell you that you can't. I was paranoid, but everything went fine for us even though we live in a high circ rate & on our hospital tour the nurse was so proud & insisted on showing us where the boys get circ'ed. I told them no when they asked when we checked into the hospital, for paperwork file & in the computer, & it was already in my OB chart. Actually, "NO!!!!" was in my chart beside it with an "X" through the word "circ." I was paranoid after finding out it was a boy, had my chart, & a pen. lol Anyway, a nurse asked when going over basic baby care if we were doing it, I'm guessing she was going to tell me about diaper changes. I also made sure to read everything before signing it, they'd need to get your written consent to do it. I also warned DH to not sign anything without letting me read it. I was actually really suprised, turns out the head of peds there, our ped, was anti-circ & told us he wished more parents actually thought about what they were doing when they circ'ed & a couple nurses mentioned in passing that they had sons & didn't circ & even though we live in a high rate, "all the more normal places outside this area, it's alot more common to be intact." So be on top of your game, but try not to worry yourself too much. Just make sure it's known to everyone.
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#14 of 48 Old 07-12-2008, 03:34 AM
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I agree with the try not to worry.

Seriously, there isn't a Dr waiting round every corner in the hospital with a scalpel/clamp etc fiending to circ your son! Nor is there some strange queue of unattended babies waiting to be operated on that a nurse taking him for his hearing test might absentmindedly leave him in.

This is the most litigious country in the world, trust me, no one is going to accidentally chop your sons foreskin off no matter what you read here. Those days are thankfully gone when boys were operated on as routine.

Like was mentioned, just ensure before hand that no one will retract when changing/ examining him. Call the maternity ward in advance and assure yourself of their training/ policies if you're concerned.

Pregnancy hormones, aren't they wonderful?

"Custom will reconcile people to any atrocity."
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#15 of 48 Old 07-12-2008, 05:31 AM
 
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This is the most litigious country in the world, trust me, no one is going to accidentally chop your sons foreskin off no matter what you read here. Those days are thankfully gone when boys were operated on as routine.
I beg to differ. I know a little boy who was circumsized against his parents will, without conset, by a resident looking to "practice" circumcisions. The little boy in question was a preemie in the NICU. It was even against hospital policy to circ preemies, but no one said anything to the doc when he came to get the baby.

The parents settled with the hospital. The little boy is almost 2.

As far as protecting your babe in the hospital -- have a homebirth! LOL I like the stickers for the diaper. Don't ever let your babe out of your sight. If they give you some nonsense about HIPAA, ask them to show you where it says that in the law. My guess would be that it's "hospital policy", not HIPAA, preventing a parent from being with a newborn during a test.
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#16 of 48 Old 07-12-2008, 05:48 AM
 
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My DS was born in 2005 and I never had a concern about it. Although, my DH did accompany DS anywhere and everywhere. So try not to worry and just have someone accompany. I don't even think most circ's are done in the hospital anymore. My pedi said they usually bring them to the office a week or so later. I also remember him telling me that the circ rate in US is about 50% now and there was no medical reason to do it.

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#17 of 48 Old 07-12-2008, 10:03 AM
 
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dont worry...most doctors wont clip toenails without a consent form.. but i still would have dh go with him anytime he has to leave the room but if your very concerned a onesie that says circumcision= law suit should do the trick
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#18 of 48 Old 07-12-2008, 10:07 AM
 
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I didn't have a problem with either of my boys (1998 and 2005) my ins didn't cover it anyway and they certainly wouldn't do something without getting paid in advance. My OB hounded me all through my PG to make sure that I knew it cost $650 and that I should start paying towards it in advance before hand.

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#19 of 48 Old 07-12-2008, 05:32 PM
 
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My son's hearing test and PKU test were done right in my room. The only time he left my room, I went with him. It was for his ID picture, and I wheeled his isolette in there myself.

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#20 of 48 Old 07-12-2008, 05:37 PM
 
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Maybe I was naive, but I just told his ped that we were not going to have him circumcized. At the hospital where I delivered him, your own ped comes to do the circumcision, not just any random hospital staff.

A nurse told me that when the ped came, she was very happy that we chose not to circ him.

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#21 of 48 Old 07-12-2008, 05:40 PM
 
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Maybe goes without saying, but don't take anything stronger than Advil for postpartum discomfort, and if you do, don't get caught alone with anyone who wants you to make medical decisions or sign things.

Seriously, try not to be alone at all if you can help it. Much less your newborn.
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#22 of 48 Old 07-12-2008, 06:36 PM
 
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My son was in the hospital for a week after he was born, and I never left his side except for about 5 minutes when they couldn't get and IV and were going to put one in his head. I was a wreck, sobbing, and felt like it just wasn't helping him. He went to the nursery every 8 hours for a week for IV antibiotics, he went every night at midnight to be weighed, no matter if we had just been an hour earlier for his abx or not.

I got so little sleep that week, I can't believe I was still on my feet, but I was so freaking paranoid, I ALWAYS went with him every single time he needed to leave our room. I could have been in a dead sleep, but as soon as the door opened, I was wide awake and ready to travel with him. I didn't even let the nurses give him a bath after he was born, I was so afraid they would retract him or hurt him in some way.

I say stay with your baby at all times, or at least have your DP go with him.

Formerly single Mama to the zaniest boy on the block, born on my birthday on 3/28/07. Soon to be Mama to a new little and can't wait to bfinfant.gif and femalesling.GIF and familybed1.gif again! 
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#23 of 48 Old 07-13-2008, 03:22 AM
 
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At the hospital where I work, there is such a huge amount of paperwork that has to have all it's i's dotted and t's crossed to make a circ actually go forward.

It would be very difficult to have it done without consent.
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#24 of 48 Old 07-13-2008, 03:39 AM
 
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I agree, that it's hardly likely nowadays that they'd do it by mistake.

But to be on the safe side, I made sure I stressed the fact that my son would NOT be circumcised to my ped, my midwife, and to the staff who admitted me.

I also put a simple little card on the bassinet saying 'No vaccinatons, no bottles, no pacifier, no circumcision". Then dh or I stayed with him the entire time.

Honestly, as long as you have a partner who will stay with the baby and has a clear idea of your wishes, there is no need to worry. DOn't let worry mar your birth.

HTH.
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#25 of 48 Old 07-13-2008, 03:57 AM
 
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My son was in the NICU for a week. The birth plan, all forms, etc all said NO CIRC. We also told all the nurses that it wouldn't be done. We still had a couple nurses that kept asking and one that was woefully illeducated about foreskins since she kept telling us that we would eventually do it since it was such a pain to clean. I disagreed and she just got louder. Thankfully the normal NICU staff were very nice and just accepted it. I like the idea of a sticker or just writing with a permanent marker on his diapers that he will not be circed and no one is allowed to touch his genitals. You can also ask that all tests be performed in your room, and if that isn't an option that one of you be with the baby AT ALL TIMES. You are the parents, they cannot take the baby from you.
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#26 of 48 Old 07-13-2008, 04:54 AM
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Maybe goes without saying, but don't take anything stronger than Advil for postpartum discomfort, and if you do, don't get caught alone with anyone who wants you to make medical decisions or sign things.

Seriously, try not to be alone at all if you can help it. Much less your newborn.
:


Also going natural means that I was totally clear-headed (no epidural meds to mess me up.)

Ds stayed in my room THE WHOLE TIME--he didn't leave for anything.

"Our task is not to see the future, but to enable it."
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#27 of 48 Old 07-13-2008, 01:29 PM
 
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I'd be more worried about an unknowing nurse retracting him during a diaper change, but if your hospital is like mine was, they encourage rooming-in. I was told, "They'll take him to the nurses' station if you REALLY want." We did have to go to the nurses' station for the PKU and hearing tests, but DH went with him to the hearing test and I went for the PKU.

Just don't let him out of your sight... solves all kinds of problems, both penis- and non-penis-related.

But yeah, a sticker or something on the front of his diaper would get the point across, just in case there's some emergency or other mitigating circumstances. "I am an intact, uncircumsized, unretracted baby and would like to remain as such."

Me+DH+DS1+DS2+Dog=me and a house full of guys, which is really just peachy, thanks.
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#28 of 48 Old 07-13-2008, 06:45 PM
 
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Dh went with him for all the tests. I don't see why you couldn't. If you don't have someone to help, go with him, or make them do the procedure in your room. Or PITCH A HIGH HOLY FIT!
They only asked once if we wanted to circ' DS1, and we had DS2 at home, so it wasn't even an issue for us. I like the shirt idea, a onesie would be even better. It would be harder to ignore if you have to unsnap it first!

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#29 of 48 Old 07-14-2008, 10:47 AM
 
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DS ended up being in the step-down nursery for a few days after his birth because of some grunting breathing from the C-section, so XH and I weren't able to be with him all the time. We were only asked twice if we wanted him circ'd. The first time was as they were carrying him out of the OR (and I have the horrible feeling that if I had said yes, he would have been cut right then, before I'd even gotten to hold or nurse him). The second time was the next day, by the ped. XH and I were always there when the ped was around because when we said no, he said "Yeah, it's unnecessary, but I don't try to discourage parents from getting it done because it's a procedure and I LIKE doing procedures!" Other than that, we got no comments about not having him cut, no pressure to circ (formula and a pacifier we got lots of pressure for, though). The hearing test was done when he was a week old, so I didn't have to worry about that.

This was in northern Texas, which I think has a fairly high circ rate. So even places with a high rate don't always hassle you.

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#30 of 48 Old 07-14-2008, 07:16 PM
 
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With my first, I told people we didn't want it done. Still, we were asked several times, to the point of having someone come in and say "I'm here to take Nathan to be circumcised," at which point I argued and he argued back that "his name's up on the board..." and I yelled back "Take it OFF then!!"

With that experience, when #3 was born - #2 was a girl- I put this tshirt on him and a post-card version of this taped in his basinette right next to his "I'm a boy!" card with his "Baby Boy Gardner" and stats on it, etc. I also put a sticker in his chart: just like what's on the tshirt, over the area that said "Circ done? Yes __ No __". Nobody asked me that time, although I did hear on the video later, the labor nurse talking with the post-partum nurse right after delivery as they were dressing him about the tshirt I'd brought to put on him saying something about how we were very specific that we don't want it done. Oh yeah- and since he had to be watched for 12 hours after birth because I was group b strep +, we roomed in together and the nurse came to take his vitals every so often. When she saw his tshirt she made a face kinda like "Like we need THAT shirt!" Like she was insulted I'd need it? Dunno.
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