remind me again why I don't want to circ - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
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#31 of 60 Old 07-31-2008, 11:19 PM
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Read my signature.


And read this thread of regrets. You don't want to be one of these mamas.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=112410

"Our task is not to see the future, but to enable it."
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#32 of 60 Old 07-31-2008, 11:41 PM
 
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Please read the words of someone who assists in the circ process and ask yourself if you wish to authorize this for your child? http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=940509

Ask yourself what parts of your genitals you would be willing to give up?
Ask yourself what parts of your genitals you would have wished your parents to request be removed from you as an infant baby?

The penis is an internal organ, only visible during an erection. I remember once a European member here said how totally wrong the circumcised penis looks on a child. The glans of the penis is a private thing, only te be seen during sexual arousal. To see it on a child is just WRONG! And when you think of this, it makes sense why the Europeans have a much more relaxed and healthy image of the human body and nudity. Nudity isn't wrong, showing the glans of the penis in public is - much as we'd be offended and find it totally inappropriate for a woman to spread her legs in public and show the parts of her genitals that are tucked away! Those things are private!

Regardless of how you believe we arrived on the planet, whether thru evolution or creation by a higher power, the purpose of life it to reproduce yourself and keep the species surviving. Towards this goal, do you think nature or a higher power would allow a mistake in the reproductive organs? If the foreskin was a mistake and problematic, it would not be there. No mammal is born without a foreskin. All male mammals have them. I came across a comment by a young man who had been circumcised and was not happy about it. He said "even my iPod has a case". Think about that!

As a woman who has had the opportunity to experience sexual contact with an intact man, I have to say, it was a more enjoyable experience. There was just something MORE to it in a very physical sense. Ever wondered why the Italians and French have such reputations as good lovers? Where did the phrase Latin Lover come from? Those are all intact cultures. I know that it's hard to think of your little baby boy having sexual intercourse...but the fact is that we are not raising children, we are raising adults. I believe it is to their best interest that we consider the things we do to them as children and factor in how they will be impacted as adults by those decisions.

"To err is human, to forgive, canine." - Unknown
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#33 of 60 Old 08-01-2008, 12:14 AM
 
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Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X View Post
...numbing cream...EMLA is not to be used on the penis...
I wanted to give you a link to information about this.

WARNING: The comments and opinions expressed above do not necessarily reflect those of the community in which I reside; or those of the internet parenting network.
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#34 of 60 Old 08-01-2008, 12:26 AM
 
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I can't stop thinking about this. I hope we're doing well in giving you information; and I hope it's giving you good strength to protect your boy. I just wanted to let you know that I have a whole lot more information that I can give you written in a very easy to read email. Please PM me if you want me to send you a copy of it. I'm really glad you asked mama.

WARNING: The comments and opinions expressed above do not necessarily reflect those of the community in which I reside; or those of the internet parenting network.
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#35 of 60 Old 08-01-2008, 12:32 AM
 
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Ty Blu I have the link but didnt think to put it up

SAHMlovin' to DD 10/00 & DS 10/04 If your son is intact, keep him safe, visit the Intact Care forum Circ, a personal choice, Your SONS 11/98 6/99 Thyroid cancer survivor. With 5 & 2 Boxers wishing for
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#36 of 60 Old 08-01-2008, 12:36 AM
 
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Because you are assuming risks for your son that could affect him the rest of his life, well after the years you are responsible for him. I have had THREE corrective surgeries because of what someone else chose for me as an infant. Even if all goes "right" for your son and he only receives the "normal" circ damages, what you are doing is still perpetuating an idiotic, barbaric, senseless social custom that will only ensure that it WILL happen to many other boys.
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#37 of 60 Old 08-01-2008, 12:48 AM
 
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I've also heard the screaming and seen circs done in the NICU. Its unbelievable. The circs I saw were done with anesthetic. My boys are intact and my youngest 2 sons didn't cry once in their first month at all, screaming like that in a newborn is just not normal. Unless there is colic or injury, babies whose needs are met don't cry much. My oldest baby cried b/c he was in NICU with IV's.

Circed babies also scream at every diaper change and sometimes, while they pee. Its heartbreaking. Many great points have been made above, but I think the sexual argument is very strong. Its the way men were made, for a reason, it just works better intact.

If your dh is wanting your baby to be circed to look like him, ask him if he has fond memories of comparing penises with his own dad. He probably won't remember or care what his dad's penis looked like----and neither will your son.

Married Catholic mami : to 5 boys, : 9 6 3 : 5 mo. 5/6/02-6/22/02 (HIE)
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#38 of 60 Old 08-01-2008, 01:20 AM
 
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You don't do it because there is NO reason for it. And it isn't your body, and he is your baby-a new beautiful life that is depending on YOU to protect him from the things that would hurt him. I also had to sit and listen to a little guy be circed while we waited for my son to be discharged from the NICU. I have never, ever heard a sound like that before. It was terrifying and made me in my postpartum state want to rush the door and protect that poor little innocent thing from being hurt. We had just been through comforting our son through a week of blood tests, I.V's, being denied food over night for a massive infection treatment, and while he cried and was sensitive to pain for a while his cries couldn't even touch what we heard. ANd once it is done it cannot be undone. Think of any of your other loved ones-would you willingly strap them down and subject them to 15 minutes-1/2 hour of of excruciating pain just because? And trust me, you will never love anyone like you will love this child.
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#39 of 60 Old 08-01-2008, 01:23 AM
 
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Its really the opposite. You need to prove that its a good idea to do it.

Mom of a 7 yr old, 4 yr old, and 1 yr old. Wow. How did that happen?
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#40 of 60 Old 08-01-2008, 01:26 AM
 
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Originally Posted by A&A View Post
Read my signature.


And read this thread of regrets. You don't want to be one of these mamas.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=112410
I too was going to recommend reading the regrets thread.

You don't want to do it because (in addition to the plethora of above reasons) you will regret it. Deeply, madly, and irrevocably. Your son would either regret it and resent you for it, or he would (as so many circumcised men do) protect himself from that pain through denial, and may perpetuate it on your grandsons to stop from realizing what it is you had done to him. Stop the cycle now.

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#41 of 60 Old 08-01-2008, 01:48 AM
 
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Please protect him.

I didn't know what you know, but I did have the instincts screaming at me - even during my drugged up state of mind after giving birth. Although, before he was born, in the early stages of labor - I did say I didn't want him circumcised. I guess they didn't like that answer because they sided with the dad who wanted him circumcised. NO ONE EXPLAINED ANY OF IT. Dh now understands the horrors of this practice and now regrets it terribly too.

That said, if I knew what you know - I'd be in a miserable wreck. Worse than I am now.

I regret not doing something to protect my baby from this cruel practice. Every SINGLE D A Y!!!!!!!!

Its been eight years. The pain is STILL unbearable. I knew the instant they showed me his raw bleeding penis, "OMG, WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO??? HIS PENIS IS GONE!!!!!" I said those very words. Know what the nurse said? "Oh, thats normal he'll be fine." It was a BIG FAT LIE!

"Regret is Motherhoods poison." Who said that?

Its so true though.

I've since had two other sons and let me tell you: SAVING THEM, protecting them really brought out the mother bear in me. My instincts were in over drive and ever since then I've felt liberated like - I (yes me!) DID SOMETHING INCREDIBLY POWERFUL!!!

I'll never forgive myself for what happened to my first son.
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#42 of 60 Old 08-01-2008, 01:52 AM
 
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Because Foreskins are AMAZING and all the hottest women prefer them! My friends and I consider 'large and uncut' to be the Holy Grail! And almost as elusive. If your son somehow winds up with a woman who doesn't feel this way, well he will always have the option of prooving his love by undergoing painful surgery.
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#43 of 60 Old 08-01-2008, 01:53 AM
 
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Just look into his trusting, innocent eyes after he is born. Ask him if he wants to be sent out to be circumcised. Listen with your heart and you'll hear the answer.


If your husband needs a bit of swaying, maybe these links will help:

http://www.homiegfunk.com/RIC2.htm

http://www.noharmm.org/appeal.htm

http://www.noharmm.org/raising.htm

Mom &  RN   intactivist.gif
Pardon the typos - CWOK (cat walking on keyboard)   signcirc1.gif

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#44 of 60 Old 08-01-2008, 01:58 AM
 
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because i have watched one.

in nursing school and it was SOOOOO AWFUL I left sobbinh and the doc said "that went so well why are you so upset?"

:vomit:

even as non natural as i was then at 20... ( i thought extended bf was gross, wanted c/s, etc)

i vowed that day that i would NEVER do it!

it is sickening to watch someone cut off part of a baby while the baby screams and turns purple and screams and screams......

so not your body, not your choice.

my dh is still pissed as hell his is gone.

~jen~ )O( mama to k 07/05 o 5/08 and c 12/09
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#45 of 60 Old 08-01-2008, 02:13 AM
 
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I am one of those many posters in the "regrets" thread. I was 17 when my oldest son was born, easily swayed by the opinions of those around me. My mother, an RN for 20 years, my doctor who profited from the procedure, the nurses in the hospital, all told me it was the right thing to do. And so, at barely 24 hours old, I handed my baby off to a stranger and waited for them to bring him back to me. He came back asleep, and I thought "Oh, see that wasn't so bad." And then I had to change his diaper and I saw this horrific open wound on his tiny little penis. While I was changing him and tending his wound, he startled in pain and kicked himself right on that open wound. He cried inconsolably for hours, refused to nurse for almost an entire day and didn't sleep for almost 36 hours.

His penis was buried and so he suffered adhesions that his pediatrician ripped open repeatedly without any pain medication, our nursing relationship went rapidly downhill and by the time he was 4 months old, I could no longer convince him to nurse at all. Part of that was my own ignorance and lack of support people in my life, but I've always asked myself, "What if...?"

My son is 9 years old now, and I have learned a lot over these years. I have never forgiven myself for not stopping it, and I will probably carry this regret to my grave.
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#46 of 60 Old 08-01-2008, 02:16 AM
 
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Melissa, you have recieved a ton of input as to why it is your duty to protect your son. One last thing - ask your DH what he will say when your son confronts him and asks why half his penis is missing. Please don't kid yourself that he won't find out - The circumcised penis will be the minority and all those kids will have access to all the information on circumcision. My guess is that they will be really pissed at their parents.
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#47 of 60 Old 08-01-2008, 08:42 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I love you all- thank you so much for your information, concern and passion! I should have DH come and read these too! Yes...deep down I know he will NOT be circumcised, I just hurt too for my DH and going against his wishes- but like some of you said- once it's gone it's gone- so really if two parents disagree then NOT doing it is the compromise. I remember when I first saw the circ video (and decided against it) I knew NOTHING about what the procedure actually was and was in TEARS the first 5 sec of the video. DH watched it and STILL didn't think there was anything wrong with it...but he's sort of a sheep that way (aka...follower, conformist)

Anyway- thank you all for such informative and heartfelt responses! I WILL protect my sweet little boy from this horrid procedure!



"Just look into his trusting, innocent eyes after he is born. Ask him if he wants to be sent out to be circumcised. Listen with your heart and you'll hear the answer."

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#48 of 60 Old 08-01-2008, 10:21 AM
 
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Please be careful . . . I know a few moms whose DHs had it done w/o their name on the consent form. Probably your DH wouldn't do that? But you can never be too careful. Not all doctors will insist on the mother's signature . . .
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#49 of 60 Old 08-01-2008, 10:46 AM
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would you lop off his ear lobes if it was in-fashion too? Because circ'ing is a cosmetic procedure. that's it. end of storey
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#50 of 60 Old 08-01-2008, 02:00 PM
 
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would you lop off his ear lobes if it was in-fashion too? Because circ'ing is a cosmetic procedure. that's it. end of storey
Sort of off topic, but I hate that argument. It is not JUST a cosmetic procedure like chopping off the outer ear. It is the damage and removal of a very important body part, without which a vital organ cannot function appropriately. It is rather more akin to removal of the eyelids, without which the eyes might technically still function (that is, transmit vision to the brain), but not in the way they were supposed to, and not without pain or the need for lubrication. Calling it "just cosmetic" ignores the very real damage of the procedure; if it is "just cosmetic", then it doesn't really matter, right? If one prefers the look of the damaged penis, then since it's "just cosmetic", might as well go for it. But this isn't cosmetic; it's real, permanent damage to a functional, important piece of anatomy.
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#51 of 60 Old 08-01-2008, 02:23 PM
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Sort of off topic, but I hate that argument. It is not JUST a cosmetic procedure like chopping off the outer ear. It is the damage and removal of a very important body part, without which a vital organ cannot function appropriately. It is rather more akin to removal of the eyelids, without which the eyes might technically still function (that is, transmit vision to the brain), but not in the way they were supposed to, and not without pain or the need for lubrication. Calling it "just cosmetic" ignores the very real damage of the procedure; if it is "just cosmetic", then it doesn't really matter, right? If one prefers the look of the damaged penis, then since it's "just cosmetic", might as well go for it. But this isn't cosmetic; it's real, permanent damage to a functional, important piece of anatomy.
outer ears help with hearing (they "trap" the sound), so that isn't just cosmetic, either.

"Our task is not to see the future, but to enable it."
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#52 of 60 Old 08-01-2008, 02:24 PM
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I love you all- thank you so much for your information, concern and passion!
Anyway- thank you all for such informative and heartfelt responses! I WILL protect my sweet little boy from this horrid procedure!


:::

"Our task is not to see the future, but to enable it."
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#53 of 60 Old 08-01-2008, 02:54 PM
 
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I AM IN TEARS RIGHT NOW READING THIS THREAD!!
To ANY parent who has circed their babies.

WOW, what a bunch of truely beautiful people, helping to protect a new born baby boy from such horror.I am blessed to have come across this thread.

My heart breaks When I think about the horror of what is happening to perfect beautiful little helpless defenceless innocent babies
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#54 of 60 Old 08-01-2008, 02:58 PM
 
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Oh mama.. please listen to your instinct.

I ignored mine, and now it's the biggest regret of my life. You can't take it back once it's done.


Amanda , mama to my two boys: N (10/06) and : A (7/09)
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#55 of 60 Old 08-01-2008, 05:34 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mom2keira View Post
... he will NOT be circumcised...
Good for you mama. Your son will be better off for it in SO many ways. Your DH won't find it so bad after a little while, and he may even thank you for it in the end.

WARNING: The comments and opinions expressed above do not necessarily reflect those of the community in which I reside; or those of the internet parenting network.
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#56 of 60 Old 08-01-2008, 07:32 PM
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Originally Posted by neostudded View Post
I AM IN TEARS RIGHT NOW READING THIS THREAD!!
To ANY parent who has circed their babies.

WOW, what a bunch of truely beautiful people, helping to protect a new born baby boy from such horror.I am blessed to have come across this thread.

My heart breaks When I think about the horror of what is happening to perfect beautiful little helpless defenceless innocent babies


And how cool that you've found Mothering.com at age 18!

"Our task is not to see the future, but to enable it."
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#57 of 60 Old 08-01-2008, 11:50 PM
 
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Ummmm...many times they do NOT use anesthesia....just strap em down and hack away!

Rikki ~~ Married Aug 04 ~~ DD Feb 06 ~~ DS Oct 07 ~~ DD April 12

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#58 of 60 Old 08-02-2008, 12:58 AM
 
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This article might help you understand why your DH is having a hard time facing this issue rationally.

Timmy's Mommy WARNINGyslexic typing with help of preschooler, beware of typos
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#59 of 60 Old 08-02-2008, 01:38 AM
 
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Because you're taking away a useful and functional part of your child's anatomy without any good reason. You are allowing elective cosmetic surgery on a human being without their consent. There are risks involved with the procedure and the trauma itself can cause delayed bonding and problems with breastfeeding. Because it is not your body but your son's and he should be the one to decide whether he wants cosmetic surgery not you or your dh. Because you will be depriving him of major nerve endings by circumcising without adding any benefits from the procedure. And lastly, because it's a routine procedure that needs to be stopped and that won't happen until we as parents start standing up for the rights of our newborn children.
I totally agree!
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#60 of 60 Old 08-02-2008, 03:05 AM
 
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Originally Posted by mom2keira View Post
...I just hurt too for my DH and going against his wishes...

I just came across a link posted on another thread about this very thing. I haven't read the article yet, but it was recommended by another member, so I'm sure it's a great article. Here you go.

WARNING: The comments and opinions expressed above do not necessarily reflect those of the community in which I reside; or those of the internet parenting network.
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