New baby left intact - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 11-02-2003, 04:39 PM - Thread Starter
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I just wanted to share my experience. We just had our 2nd boy. We wanted to wait to find out what the sex was. Dh really thought it was going to be a girl so when I broached the subject of circumcision (ds#1 was circ'd) and brought up the info that I had he relented, OK I'll leave the decision up to you.

I then found myself torn having the whole decision on me. I know now that there's no good reason to circ but I felt like since dh and ds#1 were that those were compelling enough reasons and don't want him to suffer any sense of "differentness" b/c of my decision for him.

However, when Wes was born I just couldn't do it. He had been poked and prodded enough that doing that to him just seemed so _wrong_ and unnecessary. We had thought that we could have it done afterward anyway at the Dr.'s office so didn't worry about it too much. However the last few hours I was there I found out that our Dr. doesn't do it and we would have to have a moyle do it after our hospital stay. Dh wasn't there and my midwife was leaving the decision up to me. I'm so glad dh wasn't there, i talked over my concerns with my midwife and then finally just said, "no, i don't want it done." As soon as I said that she told me she had 2 intact boys and went over ever concern I had and reiterated that they were fine.

It's funny b/c I felt torn at the time but as soon as I decided to not, I felt so good about my decision and feel better and better every day. Our ped. came to do a home visit 2 days after we were home (she's boycotting the hospital we delivered at) and she was so happy to see that he wasn't. I feel like if he ever does want to be circ'd that we would support his decision but it's best to leave that decision up to him. Also living in the DC area there's atleast 50% who are intact, what if being circ'd (which I highly suspect it will be) becomes not the norm? THen what options does he have? Now my hardest trial will be telling our first why he was circ'd.
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#2 of 11 Old 11-02-2003, 04:45 PM
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Good for you mommy!
My aunt has three sons, two are circ'd and the last one is not (dh is circ'd as well). The conversation only came up because *she* felt guilty, not because the boys wondered aloud... Remember that you do best with what you have; when you have better, you do better (to paraphrase Maya Angeleu). It is a wonderful example of life-long learning.
~diana s

~diana google me: hahamommy. Unschooling Supermama to Hayden :Super Cool Girlfriend to Scotty . Former wife to Mitch & former mama to Hannahbear
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#3 of 11 Old 11-02-2003, 06:04 PM
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Another 'good for you' from me as well.

It takes a very brave individual to make a choice that acknowledges that a previous choice wasn't the right one. My hat's off to you, Mama!
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#4 of 11 Old 11-02-2003, 09:54 PM
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Congratulations on little Wesley! How wonderful that you were able to break through all the cultural hoo-haw and listen to your heart. You will never regret leaving your little guy the way he was created. And if your older son ever wonders why he was cut you can tell him the truth, that you did what you thought was best at the time although you later learned better.
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#5 of 11 Old 11-02-2003, 10:10 PM
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and even GREATER (!) for Wesley!

Here are some links:

Warning not to retract and Intact care...

Intact care agreement for pediatrician...
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#6 of 11 Old 11-02-2003, 10:39 PM
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Explaining to either son will be far easier than you can imagine now. Just don't worry about it.

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#7 of 11 Old 11-02-2003, 11:22 PM
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Good For You!
Explaining to ds #1 may not be as difficult as you think it might be. Although it hasn't come up yet with my two boys (one circ'ed, one intact also) I plan on being honest in my explanation when the time comes.

And - Oh yeah - Congratulations On The Birth Of Your New Baby Boy !!
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#8 of 11 Old 11-03-2003, 10:25 PM
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My 3 boys are all intact and I remember when I had my first. No one asked me if I wanted him circ'd the nurse just came in and said it's time for his circumcision. I said not this baby!! It felt so right. Plus even though dh is circ'd he's never going to look like his father anyway.
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#9 of 11 Old 11-03-2003, 10:29 PM
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This is just awesome to hear! I'm glad you held to your plan and that you are happy w/ your choice.

We're have a boy in Dec and he'll be intact as well. I think the trend of circing is out in some areas which is good news but still too many are done.
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#10 of 11 Old 11-04-2003, 12:28 AM
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Welcome the world Adam... you are in the arms of one smart mama!

Congratulations to the whole family on your new baby brother!

Love Sarah
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#11 of 11 Old 11-07-2003, 05:17 PM
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Just wanted to add my Congratulations!! and Good job!! I'm sure you'll never regret that decision, and when the time comes you'll know how to talk to your sons about the choice. I'm so happy that you followed your promptings and for the peace you feel.
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