Sorry in advance for the long post...
We had an appointment on Thursday with a pediatric urologist at Lucille Packard Children's Hospital at Stanford regarding my 15 month old son's hypospadias. The urologist came in with a nurse and mentioned how we've waited so long to have this done (We originally met with a really good urologist about a year ago. She said that his case was mild, but recommended surgery to repair the hypospadias and the chordee. She asked us if he was intact because of the hypospadias or by choice and when we said by choice, she talked about how she could try to save some of the forskin and even restore it. We scheduled to have the surgery done during the summer, but then she went on sabbatical and we had to reschedule with this new doctor).
Anyway, I held my son on my lap as the doctor examined him. I didn't realize that all these doctors (my son's pediatrician, the original urologist and this new one) have been retracting my son's forskin, but I saw him do it and I started welling up but I stayed quiet about it
. My son was crying, but it seemed mostly from being touched by a stranger. The urologist did it for just a couple seconds and then said, "Hmmm. Do you notice him peeing straight?" I told him that he's just a baby, I've never really seen him pee except for once or twice when he was a newborn and he peed while I was changing his diaper, but I don't remember if it was straight or not.He said that it looks like the hypospadias is no longer there. He said that sometimes these things just fix themselves. Is that true?
If so, that's great!
So, then he goes on to say that he can go ahead and fix the chordee and circumcise him and it won't be any worse than if we had had him circumcised as a newborn. He didn't even ask us if this was our preference (shouldn't it have been in my son's records from the previous urologist?)
So then I tell him that we never wanted to circumcise our son and that if he has to have the surgery, would it be necessary to circumcise him? He kind of chuckled and looked over at the nurse who was smiling at him. Then he said, "You don't want him circumcised?" like it was so unusual, and then said, "Well, if you have the surgery, we will have to remove some of the forskin and you really don't want him half circumised."
My husband then asked how bad was the chordee and the doctor said that it looks pretty mild. If the curve was 35-40%, he would recommend it, but my son's was about 10% and if we're not going to circumcise him, then he would recommend we just leave it alone.
He said if we wanted to, we could come back in another 6 months and have my son looked at again. So I asked him, if we continue to come back, are you going to have to retract his forskin again and isn't that a bad thing? He and the nurse started shaking their heads and saying no, not at all. The nurse says, "The penis is supposed to retract itself. When boys are 4 or 5, they need to be able to do that in order to clean it." I said, "But he's only 15 months old and I read that it's bad to retract it." The doctor said, "No, and his penis has been retracted before. You'll notice that his forskin is pretty loose." I literally had tears in my eyes and I'm so unconfrontational, I just didn't know what to say...
Anyway, as the nurse was leaving, she asked again if we'd like to schedule the surgery or another appointment to have him looked at. I said, "No. If he's fine, then there's no point in cutting him up down there." My husband said, "Maybe we can schedule an appointment in 6 months to have him looked at again." I said, "No, maybe we'll get another opinion." And the nurse said ok and left.
I cried the whole way home. I should have been happy that he's fine, but that doctor and nurse really upset me. I'm still shaking thinking about all my poor son has been through. When the doctor said that my son's forskin was loose, is that really bad? Is it because they've been retracting his penis over and over again? The forskin wasn't complete when he was born, but now it covers the whole penis.
I really appreciate this board. Thanks to anyone who actually reads this and has any answers for me...