My Son's Hypospadias Pre-Op - Good and Bad (Doctor Retracted His Forskin) - Mothering Forums

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Old 10-25-2008, 02:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Sorry in advance for the long post...

We had an appointment on Thursday with a pediatric urologist at Lucille Packard Children's Hospital at Stanford regarding my 15 month old son's hypospadias. The urologist came in with a nurse and mentioned how we've waited so long to have this done (We originally met with a really good urologist about a year ago. She said that his case was mild, but recommended surgery to repair the hypospadias and the chordee. She asked us if he was intact because of the hypospadias or by choice and when we said by choice, she talked about how she could try to save some of the forskin and even restore it. We scheduled to have the surgery done during the summer, but then she went on sabbatical and we had to reschedule with this new doctor).

Anyway, I held my son on my lap as the doctor examined him. I didn't realize that all these doctors (my son's pediatrician, the original urologist and this new one) have been retracting my son's forskin, but I saw him do it and I started welling up but I stayed quiet about it . My son was crying, but it seemed mostly from being touched by a stranger. The urologist did it for just a couple seconds and then said, "Hmmm. Do you notice him peeing straight?" I told him that he's just a baby, I've never really seen him pee except for once or twice when he was a newborn and he peed while I was changing his diaper, but I don't remember if it was straight or not.

He said that it looks like the hypospadias is no longer there. He said that sometimes these things just fix themselves. Is that true? If so, that's great!

So, then he goes on to say that he can go ahead and fix the chordee and circumcise him and it won't be any worse than if we had had him circumcised as a newborn. He didn't even ask us if this was our preference (shouldn't it have been in my son's records from the previous urologist?)

So then I tell him that we never wanted to circumcise our son and that if he has to have the surgery, would it be necessary to circumcise him? He kind of chuckled and looked over at the nurse who was smiling at him. Then he said, "You don't want him circumcised?" like it was so unusual, and then said, "Well, if you have the surgery, we will have to remove some of the forskin and you really don't want him half circumised."

My husband then asked how bad was the chordee and the doctor said that it looks pretty mild. If the curve was 35-40%, he would recommend it, but my son's was about 10% and if we're not going to circumcise him, then he would recommend we just leave it alone.

He said if we wanted to, we could come back in another 6 months and have my son looked at again. So I asked him, if we continue to come back, are you going to have to retract his forskin again and isn't that a bad thing? He and the nurse started shaking their heads and saying no, not at all. The nurse says, "The penis is supposed to retract itself. When boys are 4 or 5, they need to be able to do that in order to clean it." I said, "But he's only 15 months old and I read that it's bad to retract it." The doctor said, "No, and his penis has been retracted before. You'll notice that his forskin is pretty loose." I literally had tears in my eyes and I'm so unconfrontational, I just didn't know what to say...

Anyway, as the nurse was leaving, she asked again if we'd like to schedule the surgery or another appointment to have him looked at. I said, "No. If he's fine, then there's no point in cutting him up down there." My husband said, "Maybe we can schedule an appointment in 6 months to have him looked at again." I said, "No, maybe we'll get another opinion." And the nurse said ok and left.

I cried the whole way home. I should have been happy that he's fine, but that doctor and nurse really upset me. I'm still shaking thinking about all my poor son has been through. When the doctor said that my son's forskin was loose, is that really bad? Is it because they've been retracting his penis over and over again? The forskin wasn't complete when he was born, but now it covers the whole penis.

I really appreciate this board. Thanks to anyone who actually reads this and has any answers for me...
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Old 10-25-2008, 05:16 PM
 
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I'm so sorry you had to deal with those UAVs! Ugh. They specialize in penises!!! They should be educated about this

There is nothing wrong with having loose foreskin! As long as he doesn't get an infection/bleeding from the retraction, don't worry at all... It is possible that he is beginning to seperate on his own and it did no harm at all. It's also quite possible that since he was born with a partial foreskin that continued to grow as he got older, that, well, not so much of it would have been attached in the first place. (does that make sense, I know what I'm trying to say...), doesn't mean his "loose" foreskin was caused by premature retractions.

Be happy your son is healthy! Be happy they aren't pushing harder for surgery and you never have to go back! Be happy he has grown into his penis Perhaps he didn't have a hypospadias, he just needed to develop more (like girls with labial adhesions, not quite fully developed at birth?)...
And a slight chordee is nothing, in fact, might even make his sex life better. TMI- one of my "best partners" had one

---feeling like an emu on acid---
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Old 10-25-2008, 05:17 PM
 
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s Awww Momma, I'm sorry about that crappy appointment. It sucks to be treated like that. Great news about your son not needing surgery though.

If I were you, I would just leave it alone. He doesn't really *need* to retract and clean until puberty when the hormones kick in so, if it were me, I would definately just let nature take over and revisit the issue then(around puberty) if you son has any problems with it(which I highly doubt!).

Take care,
Tara

Tara Momma to Callum and Gavin
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Old 10-25-2008, 08:34 PM
 
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Originally Posted by thixle View Post
It's also quite possible that since he was born with a partial foreskin that continued to grow as he got older, that, well, not so much of it would have been attached in the first place. (does that make sense, I know what I'm trying to say...), doesn't mean his "loose" foreskin was caused by premature retractions.
: My son has a hypospadias. His foreskin has always been loose and retracted since birth since it never fully formed around the underside of the penis. So don't worry! Your ds probably had the same thing. I'm so glad he doesn't need the surgery. We were lucky to not have to do surgery either. I did get a second opinion, though, after the first urologist was ready to cut away.
I don't think you did anything wrong, and it sounds like you made the best decision.

Leslie, mom to John :, 02/25/06
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Old 10-25-2008, 08:45 PM
 
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I am sorry you had such a bad experiance and happy that your ds wont need surgery. If I did take him back though there is no way I would allow them to touch his penis.

 
SAHMlady.gifread.giflovin' trekkie.giffan intactivist.gifwinner.jpg to loveeyes.gifenergy.gifDD 10/00 & superhero.gifmoon.gifDS 10/04 ribbonpb.gifIf your ds is intact, keep him safe, visit the Case Against Circ forumnocirc.gifCirc, a personal choice, Your sonsyes.gifbrokenheart.gif11/98brokenheart.gif6/99ribbonbrown.gifanti-tobaccoribbonyellow.gifThyroid cancer survivor. With cat.gif& goldfish.gif & (Boxer)dog2.gif wishing 4 whale.gif&ribbonwhite.gifsigncirc1.gifselectivevax.gifdelayedvax.gif

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Old 10-25-2008, 10:25 PM
 
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Oh how difficult!
It sounds to me like this doctor doesn't know much about foreskin at all anyhow, so how would he know if he'd been forcibly retracted before? I wouldn't worry about his loose foreskin. I agree with what others have said, it sounds like he's doing well, and I'd leave him be.
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Old 10-26-2008, 03:08 AM
 
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And there's nothing wrong w/ being half-circumcised if it absolutely had to come to that. The more foreskin, the more valuable nerve endings and protection. Just because they do radical circumcisions (entire glans and rim exposed), doesn't mean you need to "go there" for purely cosmetic reasons. And who's the say an entire exposed glans is "more visually pleasing"? :

I don't think this is dramatics, but if you get your foot amputated for some reason, they don't suggest you amputate the other because "it'd look silly only having one foot".
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Old 10-26-2008, 02:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you all for your warm words and advice! I'm very happy my son doesn't have to have surgery (at least, that's what this particular quack says, but I'll take his word for it ).

Microsoap, my SIL called me the next day to see how the doctor's appointment went, and she told me that when her own son was circumcised , it looked like it was half done, but eventually he grew into it. Then she told me that when our other SIL's son was born, they had him circumcised twice because the first time, it looked like it was only half done! Poor kids. She said, "It's a hard decision. As they get older, you have to worry about them keeping it clean. You can always decide to do it later." And then she told me about a woman at her church who had both of her son's circumcised when they were around 5 years old . She couldn't remember why the woman waited so long. I told her I'd never do that to my son; he's perfect the way he is.
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Old 10-26-2008, 03:34 PM
 
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My son had hypospadias/chordee, and had it severe enough that he had to have corrective surgery. DS didn't have a complete foreskin to begin with, but our urologist knew we wanted him left intact, so he only removed as much as he needed to make the repair. So, DS is pretty much 1/2 (maybe slightly more) circ'ed, and he looks fine.

And, I don't know if it will make you feel better, but due to the hypospadias, my DS has been retractible since birth. His foreskin was essentially non-functioning and was mostly...for lack of a better phrase...just hanging there. So, he could be retracted, and it wasn't painful for him.

Anyway...I'm sorry that you had to deal with such a crappy situation! But, I'm so happy for you that he doesn't need the surgery!

Jen...wife to Shawn...Radically Unschooling Mommy to Connor (4/03), Autumn (1/07) Aiden (1/08) and Ella (10/14/09) Just had the of our dreams!
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Old 10-30-2008, 04:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Microsoap View Post
You can tell her that the reason WHY they do "loose" circs so they can "grow" into it now a days, it is because the tight circs (that she now inflicted her son w/) will cause adult painful erections, pubic hair growing on the shaft, even skin splitting (bleeding) on the shaft and the need to THRUST HARD in order to obtain a sense of pleasurable feeling during intercourse (that hurts women!). He's been damaged even more than he was when he was first circumcised. I think his parents NEED to know this (if it's possible to mention it).
That just makes me so sad
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Old 10-30-2008, 04:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My son had hypospadias/chordee, and had it severe enough that he had to have corrective surgery. DS didn't have a complete foreskin to begin with, but our urologist knew we wanted him left intact, so he only removed as much as he needed to make the repair. So, DS is pretty much 1/2 (maybe slightly more) circ'ed, and he looks fine.

And, I don't know if it will make you feel better, but due to the hypospadias, my DS has been retractible since birth. His foreskin was essentially non-functioning and was mostly...for lack of a better phrase...just hanging there. So, he could be retracted, and it wasn't painful for him.
Jenners, Thank you. That does make me feel better.
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