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#1 of 67 Old 11-15-2008, 02:04 AM - Thread Starter
 
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okay, wise ones. i need help. i took my son to the er last month for a high fever (104) plus vomiting and diarrhea that was into it's third day. this was right around his first birthday. he is intact (thank you mdc!) and i have never had a problem with medical personnel not honoring that choice, or even coming close to trying to retract him.

so the attending dr makes the decision that in addition to the stool sample, he wants a urine sample to test as well. he tells me he wants to straight cath him. i inform him that the baby is intact, and i will not allow them to retract him at all, and ask if that is going to present a problem. he assures me that the staff is well-versed in catherization of non-circumsized babies. enter the nurse: i repeat, very clearly, that i will not allow retraction at all. she says they see intact babies often, and she states that she is fine with doing the procedure without any type of retraction. there is a respiratory tech present who is going to assist with keeping the baby still. (read: hold him down)

like an ass, i feel a little better, because even though they are about to perform a very uncomfortable procedure, i thought we were all on the same page. i was confident that i had clearly protected my son's interests, even stupidly proud that i was very upfront and vocal about it all, especially after all the horror stories here. hah!

i was up by reece's shoulders/chest with my right arm around him, so neither of us could see what was happening at the moment. that was my first mistake. reece was crying when she started trying to insert the cath. she missed. she tries two more times, i keep looking over my shoulder when he squeezes his eyes shut and cries, so i can see exactly what is going on. then, reece's eyes fly open in a panic and his body arches and he screams like i have never heard before. i immediately look to see what the hell just happened and this uav nurse cups her hand around his penis to try to block my line of vision. i stand up and slap her hand away- he is fully retracted and in terrible pain, with the catheter in. i immediately start cursing at her, "g-d it, i told you not to do that! you said you wouldn't do that! wtf?!" she, almost non-chalantly, replies that she "had to" and it's fine, she's almost done. seconds later, she finishes and removes the catheter, and now she cannot un-retract him. reece is writhing in agony, i am panicking, and she puts the diaper up over his privates and says that it sometimes take a few moments and it goes back on it's own. WHAT?!?

the resident hears me getting even louder and comes in to see the problem. she sees reece's penis, and the glans is getting darker by the moment. she lunges at the wall, grabs sterile gloves and lubricating jelly and gently tries to work the foreskin back into place. after about 10-15 seconds, she runs out of the room, throwing her gloves off as she goes. she and the attending both come running back in, snapping gloves on as they run. the attending manages to correct the situation, despite our near hysteria (mine and poor reece's).

the attending has the gall to tell me that this sometimes happens. what? well, the nurse probably had to do that. apparently, he didn't count on me verbally flipping out on them. i yelled at him that their nurse just assaulted my son, and not only had no business doing that, but went against my very clear instructions. his demeanor changed after that. instantly no longer condescending. like a lightbulb went off in his head, helping him recognize that this was not just a little mistake, and that despite my tears, my fury was very real.

reece had two easily visible tears in his foreskin, and cried when urinating for the next two days. he has since healed (from what i can tell) without incident. no answer from the urine culture, and heaven knows what ever happened to the stool sample. yeay. so glad we went to the er.

okay, so my very long-winded point... i called the head of emergency medicine, and relayed my story to him the very next day. the doctor was supposed to call me back after speaking to the head of pediatrics. i was supposed to hear from him within 4 days max. i was supposed to hear from a patient advocate as well. as you may have guessed, nothing.

this needs to be addressed. this should never happen to another little boy. who do i take this to? is there any way to get them to listen without getting a lawyer? (i also called a lawyer, who said that, yes, this was medical battery, but it wasn't financially beneficial enough to take on the case. great. that was just my goal, to make money from my son's pain.)

i need help and direction. my guilt for letting this happen to my little boy when i was right freaking there is enormous. i cannot just let this go. suggestions?
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#2 of 67 Old 11-15-2008, 02:12 AM
 
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i have noo advice but just wanted to give u and ur little boy a hug soo sorry this happened to ur son it brakes my heart and the pain ur little boy must have been in OMG that is just horrible

hugs momma

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#3 of 67 Old 11-15-2008, 02:14 AM
 
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Originally Posted by kosheng View Post
my guilt for letting this happen to my little boy when i was right freaking there is enormous. i cannot just let this go. suggestions?
I don't know about the health of your sons penis, but I wanted to say that you didn't LET this happen. You did above and beyond reasonable, IMO, for protecting your son. It is reprehensible that the nurse did that after you specifically said not to. It is NOT your fault; please don't blame yourself.

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#4 of 67 Old 11-15-2008, 02:14 AM
 
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Call the police. File criminal charges. Also take your son ASAP to his regular doctor to document the injury. It was just heart-wrenching to read your story. Your poor little baby

And wow, you did great! I'm so glad you yelled at everyone, because they won't stop doing this to little boys until someone makes them!

I know I would have gotten extremely physical if it was me and one of my children!

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#5 of 67 Old 11-15-2008, 02:15 AM
 
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Originally Posted by kosheng View Post
the attending has the gall to tell me that this sometimes happens. what? well, the nurse probably had to do that. apparently, he didn't count on me verbally flipping out on them. i yelled at him that their nurse just assaulted my son, and not only had no business doing that, but went against my very clear instructions. his demeanor changed after that. instantly no longer condescending. like a lightbulb went off in his head, helping him recognize that this was not just a little mistake, and that despite my tears, my fury was very real.
This only happens when they forcibly retract a boy and the foreskin is still too narrow. Think about it, it two narrow to pass easily over the head once around the 'wide' part of the head, it tries to contract back and 'strangles' the head in the process cutting off blood flow.

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reece had two easily visible tears in his foreskin, and cried when urinating for the next two days. he has since healed (from what i can tell) without incident. no answer from the urine culture, and heaven knows what ever happened to the stool sample. yeay. so glad we went to the er.
As an above poster said have him checked out by a trusted pedi and document the injury. If there is visible trauma, take some pictures you may need them later.

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Originally Posted by kosheng View Post
okay, so my very long-winded point... i called the head of emergency medicine, and relayed my story to him the very next day. the doctor was supposed to call me back after speaking to the head of pediatrics. i was supposed to hear from him within 4 days max. i was supposed to hear from a patient advocate as well. as you may have guessed, nothing.

this needs to be addressed. this should never happen to another little boy. who do i take this to? is there any way to get them to listen without getting a lawyer? (i also called a lawyer, who said that, yes, this was medical battery, but it wasn't financially beneficial enough to take on the case. great. that was just my goal, to make money from my son's pain.)

i need help and direction. my guilt for letting this happen to my little boy when i was right freaking there is enormous. i cannot just let this go. suggestions?
Yes, may want to consider a legal approach. There is an attorney on this board that you might PM for some advice. His handle is Dave2GA I believe you may also contact John D. Geisheker at DOC he is also an attorney who may be able to direct you to appropriate resources. I believe John will send a letter on your behalf.

What she did to your son was absolutely wrong. She put him in danger by forcing the foreskin back before it was ready which sounds like it constricted blood flow to the head that can get serious. I hope one of these two people can give you a hand.
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#6 of 67 Old 11-15-2008, 07:47 AM
 
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#7 of 67 Old 11-15-2008, 10:04 AM
 
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Your post put me in fight or flight mode. I can't believe how much my heart is racing over reading a board post. What you describe is absolutely horrific! I hope you can accomplish something with that hospital and hopefully that will give you some peace of mind. Also, hope your son feels better soon.
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#8 of 67 Old 11-15-2008, 10:10 AM
 
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OMG. I am so sorry. No advice, but I am just so sorry that happened to your son.
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#9 of 67 Old 11-15-2008, 10:13 AM
 
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OMG. I am so sorry. No advice, but I am just so sorry that happened to your son.
me too...that poor baby, can't imagine how much that must've hurt.
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#10 of 67 Old 11-15-2008, 10:19 AM
 
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Originally Posted by QueenOfThePride View Post
Call the police. File criminal charges. Also take your son ASAP to his regular doctor to document the injury. It was just heart-wrenching to read your story. Your poor little baby

And wow, you did great! I'm so glad you yelled at everyone, because they won't stop doing this to little boys until someone makes them!

I know I would have gotten extremely physical if it was me and one of my children!
:
Even if you don't win, you will have put the medical and nursing professions on notice that this abuse of intact boys and men has GOT to stop!!!!!

Wth is up with doctors and nurses in this country??? Do they have a God complex or what???

Don't worry, mama, I'm not mad at you. You did everything you could to prevent it. Your trust was violated by the nurse. File criminal charges against her. She should suffer as much as your son did.
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#11 of 67 Old 11-15-2008, 11:01 AM
 
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You will want to make your complaints to the hospital in writing.

I suggest the Joint Commission:

http://www.jointcommission.org/Gener...nt/default.htm

it will get their attention
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#12 of 67 Old 11-15-2008, 11:11 AM
 
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I cannot believe this happened to you and your son...my heart aches for you both...I let my daughter get (what I knew was) an unnecessary IV and I carry her screams with me daily. I can only imagine how you feel and you did NOT let this happen!!! Unlike ME, you spoke up and advocated for your child in very clear and certain terms. These "professionals" (insert lol smiley here) failed you BIG Time and they should not be let off.
I don't know about a legal approach but someone who cares *a lot* about potential lawsuits in the hospital is the 'Risk Manager'.. I think if you contact the Risk Manager at this hospital and let them know your whole story (especially the lack of follow up!!) you will get some action... Ask yourself what you really want (other than to tie these people up and start punching)... I think documentation of a hospital wide in-service education on 'intact care' would be fabulous. I think you should ask for something specific at any rate.
Please keep us updated so that in the event any one of us runs into similar abuse we can know what steps work.
Best of luck to you and lots and lots of hugs....
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#13 of 67 Old 11-15-2008, 12:01 PM
 
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I cannot believe this happened to you and your son...my heart aches for you both...I let my daughter get (what I knew was) an unnecessary IV and I carry her screams with me daily. I can only imagine how you feel and you did NOT let this happen!!! Unlike ME, you spoke up and advocated for your child in very clear and certain terms. These "professionals" (insert lol smiley here) failed you BIG Time and they should not be let off.
I don't know about a legal approach but someone who cares *a lot* about potential lawsuits in the hospital is the 'Risk Manager'.. I think if you contact the Risk Manager at this hospital and let them know your whole story (especially the lack of follow up!!) you will get some action... Ask yourself what you really want (other than to tie these people up and start punching)... I think documentation of a hospital wide in-service education on 'intact care' would be fabulous. I think you should ask for something specific at any rate.
Please keep us updated so that in the event any one of us runs into similar abuse we can know what steps work.
Best of luck to you and lots and lots of hugs....



I am not one for lawsuits but your son went in fine and is now injured, The nurse needs to re-trained and punished for her grave mistake.

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#14 of 67 Old 11-15-2008, 12:06 PM
 
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That makes me want to vomint

I want to echo that you did not let that happen! and Iam proud of you for sticking up for your son before hand, during the crisis and after! You are very strong, go get em tiger!

I have no advise to give, but i felt I should lend my support

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#15 of 67 Old 11-15-2008, 12:24 PM
 
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I also want to mention that doctors are trained to cover each other's behinds, so don't expect any medical professional to side with you over this incident.

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#16 of 67 Old 11-15-2008, 12:29 PM
 
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I would start with a written complaint to the hospital, in which I would mention not only your son's injury, but the fact that you specifically did NOT give permission for retraction. Going against a parent's specifically stated permissions (or denial of permissions) is a really big deal, legally.
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#17 of 67 Old 11-15-2008, 12:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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thank you, everyone, for your advice and kind words. reece seems to have healed fine. we did follow up with our family doc, whose resident and medical student also got to see firsthand the damage caused by forced retraction. we did take pictures, as awkward as that felt (thank goodness for digital cameras!)

and for more ugliness, we finally received the doctor's soap notes from the er. charming fellow: he outlined the procedure, and the actions they had to take, and then stated that i was "upset" after the procedure, even though i had given consent. wtf? what a huge omission, and i am pretty sure that it is equivalent to falsifying medical records. i did give consent for the procedure, with the very clear understanding that it be done without retraction. not to mention, the nurse was told by me that if she was not comfortable doing the procedure my way (uh, correctly?) then we needed to get someone else in there to do it. the doctor was told, before the nurse even came in, that i would only allow the procedure without any retraction. period.

gads, this sucks.
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#18 of 67 Old 11-15-2008, 12:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I also want to mention that doctors are trained to cover each other's behinds, so don't expect any medical professional to side with you over this incident.
yep! i was slowly typing (w/reece crawling all over me!) when you posted. family doc was very attentive and apologetic, but who knows how far that goes.


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I would start with a written complaint to the hospital, in which I would mention not only your son's injury, but the fact that you specifically did NOT give permission for retraction. Going against a parent's specifically stated permissions (or denial of permissions) is a really big deal, legally.
thanks. i thought it was a huge deal myself. maybe they aren't calling back because it is a huge liability, or admission of guilt?
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#19 of 67 Old 11-15-2008, 12:40 PM
 
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As the mom of a (young) intact son reading this just made me want to get sick. I am so at those people and I think I would have wanted to physically assault someone... I can't imagine. It must be so hard for you to follow up and have to continually relive those thoughts. ((hugs)) It sounds like you did everything you could to prevent it.. I hope that follow up gets some policy changed.

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#20 of 67 Old 11-15-2008, 02:24 PM
 
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I too agree file a lawsuit, omg im so furious for you if that happens to us I file a lawsuit and put that money towards nocirc awareness. This NEEDS to stop!


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#21 of 67 Old 11-15-2008, 04:10 PM
 
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maybe they aren't calling back because it is a huge liability, or admission of guilt?
Once they expect that you may pursue legal action, they are no long going to talk to you on the phone. If the dr says "I am very sorry this happened", it could appear to be an admission of guilt. This is all standard "risk management" practice.
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#22 of 67 Old 11-15-2008, 04:27 PM
 
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I'm so sorry this happened to your babe!

Get a copy of the records before you do anything else. If my DH had not stolen my records from the hospital, we would have had no proof that they changed them...and they will! As you have already seen, they will be edited.

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#23 of 67 Old 11-15-2008, 04:33 PM
 
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I think you have to follow through with this until the end. I assume the hospital is going to bill you for assaulting your son. Sue them. If you don't, they're going to keep doing this. What they did to your son could have and may have caused him serious permenant injury.

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#24 of 67 Old 11-15-2008, 06:55 PM
 
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I'm so sad for you and your poor little one and PISSED at that staff. WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO OUR BABIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really hope you will take legal action. I am sure a malpractice attorney would be happy to get his hands on this case. I'd also contact DOC about this. They clearly did not do as you requested and even if it was an accident they still are responsible for causing your son harm and possibly future complications. :_(
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#25 of 67 Old 11-15-2008, 07:36 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SleeplessMommy View Post
You will want to make your complaints to the hospital in writing.

I suggest the Joint Commission:

http://www.jointcommission.org/Gener...nt/default.htm

it will get their attention
:

I'll echo jwhispers rec. on the DOC and Dave2GA. Also, Attorney's for the right of the child, ARC may have a few suggestions as well.

Fyrestorm is right. They will do what they can to cover their own faults.

So, get records asap, if you haven't already done so.

Did you say that nurse was a male nurse?

and

Did anyone mention the option to bag cath? Bag caths are recomended for intact boys since no one is inserting or retracting anything.

I hope you guys heal from this traumatic experience. Truly frighting.

Here are some flowers: for the little guy.
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#26 of 67 Old 11-15-2008, 07:38 PM
 
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I'm still so mad. I could hardly sleep last night

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#27 of 67 Old 11-15-2008, 08:02 PM
 
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I'm glad your poor baby is healing fine. What a horrible story. What awful people. Ugh.


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#28 of 67 Old 11-15-2008, 08:54 PM
 
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I can't even express how reading what happened to your baby made me feel. I am so sorry and omg so pissed. You did nothing but try to protect your son, you did everything right.
I don't think I can even say what I'm thinking about that nurse here (okay I know I can't). She needs to get the message in a very strong way that what she did was wrong and she better never do it again.

OUR DAUGHTERS ARE PROTECTED SHOULDN'T OUR SONS BE TOO! :
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#29 of 67 Old 11-15-2008, 09:28 PM
 
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1) Go to the hospital and ask for your ds's medical records ask them to give them to you or if they wont do that then have them sent to his ped. Tell them the ped. wants to follow up and needs to see his results. Make sure to tell them you want every page not just the lab results.

2)once you get them look over them to see what they say.

3)Contact the lawyer here and have him draft a letter to all involved that states what they did constitues abuse and they can be sued. It dosnt mean you are sueing it just lets them know you can.

I am so sorry this happened and thank you for posting it because it may save another boy from being hurt like your ds.

 
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#30 of 67 Old 11-16-2008, 12:10 AM
 
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I just had my husband read your story and asked him what he would do. He went to law school and worked as a public defender for 3 years. He said:

1. He said he would ask to speak with the attending physician and have a very long discussion!

2. He would file a lawsuit for malpractice.

3. And more importantly, he would file criminal assault charges against the nurse.
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