My niece had a baby boy today...... - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 30 Old 11-28-2003, 06:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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She's going to circ him. I don't get it. I am pretty sure if it were just up to her she wouldn't do it, but her boyfriend wants it. I don't understand why women don't stand up for their sons. : I couldn't go see her in the hospital because I knew the topic would come up. My husband and mother went to see her. She asked the nurse when it would be done and the nurse told her it wasn't necessary and that her sons weren't done. My husband told her how he's trying to restore. I'm printing her some information in hopes that she will take a second look and decide not to do it. I can only pray now.
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#2 of 30 Old 11-28-2003, 06:54 PM
 
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I hope she changes her mind. I am so amazed at how many mothers never even think about this decision. It's almost like they think it's just a normal routine thing that has to be done. Never giving it a second thought.
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#3 of 30 Old 11-28-2003, 06:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally posted by momsmyjob

I hope she changes her mind. I am so amazed at how many mothers never even think about this decision. It's almost like they think it's just a normal routine thing that has to be done. Never giving it a second thought.
I hope she does too.....if it's not too late. The thing that bugs me the most is she knows it's not necessary and has given hints in the past that she would not circ. Her boyfriend thinks it's a big joke though. How do we go on acting like nothing ever happened when something like this happens? When someone you love knows how bad it is but they do it to please the other parent? :
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#4 of 30 Old 11-29-2003, 09:39 PM
 
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She asked the nurse when it would be done and the nurse told her it wasn't necessary and that her sons weren't done.
I am SOOOO impressed the nurse actually said that!!! I have never heard of a nurse doing so

 

 

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#5 of 30 Old 11-29-2003, 11:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally posted by TiredX2
I am SOOOO impressed the nurse actually said that!!! I have never heard of a nurse doing so
Me too. I just hope the nurse was able to talk her out of it. If now I just have to let it go. I did what I could. She's my niece and I love her. I just wish she would have listened.
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#6 of 30 Old 11-30-2003, 04:20 AM
 
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Aww how sad......I hope she changes her mind. You planted the seed so to speak so hopefully the nurse keeps watering and she changes her mind!!

Desiree

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#7 of 30 Old 12-01-2003, 05:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally posted by Nursing Mother

The only thing you can really do is to give them the facts.
That was a mistake and it's one I don't think I'll ever make again. My whole family is pissed at me and my BIL won't go pick up some wood than friends gave us for heat this year. He's going to make my kids freeze because he's mad at me. : I think from now on I am just going to mind my own business and not care what anyone else does.
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#8 of 30 Old 12-01-2003, 06:41 PM
 
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Ann Marie, why exactly is your family mad at you? : I mean, all you did was voice your opinion. It was ultimately still their decision. Can you get someone else to get the wood for you? I don't think we should EVER just sit back and be silent. I hope your niece knows that you were only trying to help. I just don't understand how your family could be upset with you. YOU DID THE RIGHT THING!!!
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#9 of 30 Old 12-01-2003, 09:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally posted by teniprice
Ann Marie, why exactly is your family mad at you? :
My husband called my sister and I guess she said I overstepped my bounds and there's a time and place for everything. He said, "When, after it's already done?" I guess the correct answer is never. : My husband gave my niece the information and she read my letter in front of him and she was fine about it. Now all of a sudden everyone is pissed off at me. I guess what happened was she didn't want her boyfriend to see it but he did and he was angry and then she got upset. So, instead of her boyfriend being the one that everyone should be mad at for getting angry and then her crying, they are all mad at me for sharing the information in the first place.


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I mean, all you did was voice your opinion.
Like my husband told my sister, it's not an opionion. :LOL Seriously though, I didn't share my opinion, I just printed out some facts and asked her to look at them and asked her a couple of other questions. I didn't even say how I felt in the letter at all.


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Can you get someone else to get the wood for you?
No, I don't know anyone here.

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I don't think we should EVER just sit back and be silent. I hope your niece knows that you were only trying to help. I just don't understand how your family could be upset with you. YOU DID THE RIGHT THING!!!
Thanks. I don't understand why my niece didn't call me herself instead of complaining to everyone else? Or why nobody else called me for that matter. You'd think I killed someone with the way they are acting. When my husband called my sister he heard my BIL in the background swearing and at one point told my sister to just hang up. : It's funny, a while back a friend of the family had taken advantage of us and nobody wanted to hear it...you know, the old if we don't know then we can't be mad at him type of thing.....now they feel I did something and everyone is blabbering to everyone else and I'm the bad guy and yet nobody talks to me. I'm treated worse than this other person that's not even family. To them I'm just a throw away person....always have been.

My husband's theory is that my niece looked at the information and was starting to question her decision which made her boyfriend mad, which made her cry, so everyone is blaming me for their fighting. I can't say for sure if it's right, but it sounds like it's possible. She was fine with my letter when she read it in front of my husband. Oh, and everyone thinks my husband was speaking for me at the hospital, but I didn't ask him to say a word. It was his own choice to speak up. He told my sister he stood behind my letter 100% and she told him that he was just as wrong as me then. :
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#10 of 30 Old 12-01-2003, 10:25 PM
 
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Again... I don't know what to say except I am sorry that they are putting you through this. I hope things turn around soon and they understand that this is not something that should come between family. I am just speechless as to what they are doing to you. It just makes me . (((HUGS)))
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#11 of 30 Old 12-01-2003, 10:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks. This whole this is really stupid. I just got into it with my Mother. : My BIL told her he'd bring the wood over for her and the kids, nobody else. He told her my sister didn't even know he was going to, blah blah blah. That's his way of making himself look like a saint instead of an a@@. I told my mother they were not welcome in my home again. They can come tomorrow as planned to get her stuff to store it for her, and that's it, but I made it clear I don't even want them here for that, but was willing to allow it. I'm tired of being treated this way. Like I said to my mother, I have never, ever treated any of them like this. They have done some pretty stupid things and I have never treated any of them like throw away people. My Mother talked to my sister a little bit ago and my sister said they would be over Wed. with the wood. I told her no, they aren't welcome here. I don't want anything from them. This is just so they can feel better about what they have done. Forget it. My mother got mad and told me to call her myself then. I said no, I told you they weren't welcome here and you told them they could come. She whined about not wanting to be in the middle of it so I spoke my mind. I know, I should know by now that's not a good idea. :LOL I told her, "You know, I'm your daughter too, and you should have stuck up for me." I told her she should have told them they were being unreasonable making my kids and her suffer because they were mad at me. I told her she should have done the right thing but she never says anything because she's afraid of making people mad and then they won't do anything for her..unless of course it's me she's talking to. She can say all sorts of nasty things to me. I told her that I have never done anything like this to them, but they have to me more than once and I'm tired of it. I don't need people like that in my life and this is my home and I don't want them here. I have enough stress. God will find a way to get the wood here without me having to stress over them being here. I don't want people like that in my life anymore. It's time I made some changes.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to go on like that. This just really hurts. I don't understand people.
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#12 of 30 Old 12-04-2003, 06:24 AM
 
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Aww, I am sorry you are being treated this way!! ARG!!!!!!!!!!

By the way, in all this mess, did the baby end up being circ'd? I hope not. At least if they DIDNT something will have come out of all this mess and you will have saved a baby boy!

Desiree

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#13 of 30 Old 12-04-2003, 02:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks. I think they did it, but I don't know for sure. It's not like I can call up and ask her now.
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#14 of 30 Old 12-04-2003, 05:07 PM
 
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We love you here.
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#15 of 30 Old 12-04-2003, 07:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We love you here.
Thank you.
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#16 of 30 Old 12-04-2003, 10:41 PM
 
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I had to jump in here. This is awful how you are being treated. I'm so sorry. I can't beleive how mean ppl can be.

if you need anything, let me know.

~Christy crochetsmilie.gif, mom to DD Sage (12-2003) joy.gif and DS Isaac (04-2012)  babyboy.gif, wife to Josh geek.gif.

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#17 of 30 Old 12-06-2003, 01:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally posted by Christy1980
I had to jump in here. This is awful how you are being treated. I'm so sorry. I can't beleive how mean ppl can be.

if you need anything, let me know.
Thanks Christy (My daughter's middle name BTW.). I really appreciate that.
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#18 of 30 Old 12-06-2003, 02:10 PM
 
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Ann Marie,
I was thinking that HAD to have had him circ'd to be giving you this much grief. I am so sorry that they are still treating you this way. Still praying for you.
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#19 of 30 Old 12-06-2003, 09:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you teniprice. I appreciate it.
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#20 of 30 Old 12-06-2003, 10:28 PM
 
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I think thsi topic came up ONCE before I moved to NJ. IN NYC, it was no biggie and never a big topic. But here, oh we are so backwards. Formula is the ONLY option, and circ. is a MUST by the very Christian, many Ctaholic majority (No ta discussion but those who now the religious/church views get that mention). Anyway, the mornign DS was born (in a birt hcenter out of stae of course...lol) My parents came to my house when we returned. Dad asked "When we he be circumcised?" I said "NEVER!" HE gave us the ol "cleanliness" speech which I debunked. He was gettign angry. Then Mom was smart enough to ask if DH is circ'd, I said "No!". lmao Dh was right there through his whole speech! So in a way it was lucky, my Dad was quite embarrased! (Keep in mind my Dad had "issues" in the past with his circumcised u know what.) Anyway, the only other time it came up was when DS was a month old and an Aunt helped me change him-she LITERALLY screamed at his intactness. Ilaughed at her.

Screw 'em. The yhave issues with our "race", practices, etc. What do I care what they think?
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#21 of 30 Old 12-06-2003, 10:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally posted by bebesho2
Anyway, the only other time it came up was when DS was a month old and an Aunt helped me change him-she LITERALLY screamed at his intactness. Ilaughed at her.
: People are so......never mind, I'll be nice, she's your aunt. LOL

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Screw 'em. The yhave issues with our "race", practices, etc. What do I care what they think?
Yeah, been there done that. My mother told me I was acting like a slut and that no white man would ever want me again just for having Hispanic friends. : Can you imagine when I started dating one of them and then we had a baby together? :LOL She wouldn't give me a baby shower because she said, "Nobody would come." : You'd think I murdered someone when I started going to a different church. She wasn't happy that I didn't baptise my children either.

I just don't understand people.

Humm, it must be time for bed because I thought this was giving the finger... :LOL
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#22 of 30 Old 12-13-2003, 08:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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She didn't circ him after all.

They are all still mad at me, including her, over the letter I wrote. I just don't get it. I don't think it was all that bad. You'd think she'd be glad that she had the information seeing how she changed her mind, but nope. They should all be mad at her boyfriend for trying to make her do something she didn't want to do, but instead they are mad at me.

There has been a lot of lies told about the whole thing. Not one of them has talked to me about it. :
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#23 of 30 Old 12-13-2003, 09:19 PM
 
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Ann Marie... that is awesome that she didn't circ him!!! I am sorry that they are still upset with you though. At least you can rest well knowing that you've saved that little boy from being circ'd. I know they will come around. They probably just need time. Anyway, it IS good news. Way to go girl!!!
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#24 of 30 Old 12-13-2003, 09:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks! It's OK even if they don't come around...at least something good came out of this. To be honest, the way I feel now, I don't want them in my life. I'm tired of being a throw away person to all of them. At least I went out with a bang. :LOL
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#25 of 30 Old 12-13-2003, 11:16 PM
 
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so it's win-win, right?
(i know you have felt hurt, just trying to look at the bright side. i'll bet that BABY will be talking to you one day, when he hears the story!)

suse
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#26 of 30 Old 12-13-2003, 11:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yes exactly, it's a win-win situation at this point. Even if it doesn't feel like it. Believe me, I am very happy that he wasn't hurt. I wonder if someone will tell him the story one day?
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#27 of 30 Old 12-14-2003, 01:58 AM
 
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All Right!!!

good job mamma!! too bad they were all being jerks to you. At least your neice listened, and she's the one that counts right now, right? dont' worry, that baby is really greatful you saved him.

Did you get your wood? I was thinking about you the other day.

~Christy crochetsmilie.gif, mom to DD Sage (12-2003) joy.gif and DS Isaac (04-2012)  babyboy.gif, wife to Josh geek.gif.

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#28 of 30 Old 12-14-2003, 04:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Christy1980
All Right!!!

good job mamma!! too bad they were all being jerks to you. At least your neice listened, and she's the one that counts right now, right? dont' worry, that baby is really greatful you saved him.
Thanks, but for all I know they didn't do it because there wasn't a doctor around on the weekend before she left. LOL I really have no idea why she didn't do it, but I'm glad it wasn't done.

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Did you get your wood? I was thinking about you the other day.
No, but some very kind people from AOL got together and sent me a little bit of money for wood. I'm going to see where I can get some tomorrow and if I can't get wood then I'll get oil. Both will keep us warm. When my own family let me down total strangers helped out. Says a lot.
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#29 of 30 Old 12-14-2003, 06:18 PM
 
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Hello Ann Marie,I glad the circumcision didnt happen however they seem to be irrational people.Lets hope they dont decide to circ him later on.
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#30 of 30 Old 12-14-2003, 06:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally posted by ThomasL
Hello Ann Marie,I glad the circumcision didnt happen however they seem to be irrational people.Lets hope they dont decide to circ him later on.
That was my thought too. I asked my mother if my niece was going to have it done later and she said no so I can only hope for the best now.
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