If you regret circumcising your son(s), please post here. - Page 8 - Mothering Forums

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#211 of 739 Old 08-18-2006, 12:34 AM
 
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I regret getting my boys' c'rcd I left it up to DH and he is the one who said we will have it done... I wish I had done more research on it and showed hubby when I found out we were havin boys'. We are not having anymore(we will adopt) but hubby said if we had another boy he would also be circed but idk.
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#212 of 739 Old 08-23-2006, 11:23 AM
 
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3 boys '06,'08,&'11
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#213 of 739 Old 08-26-2006, 04:29 PM
 
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Well, I've been lurking around these boards and have debated on whether or not to post here. I have decided to share our story also, so that hopefully it may sway someone to not circ thier son.

Here come the tears. My appologies in advance for this will be long, and hopefully cathartic.

Like Flipfish I KNEW that circ wasn't necessary. I did the research, I spent close to a month trying to convince DH it wasn't necessary. In the end we decided to wait and see how we felt about it after DS was born. DS was born 4 weeks early by emergency c-section, and the last thing on our minds was whether or not we would circ at that point. Soon after we got home for the hospital we started talking about circ'ing again. My DH told me that he wanted DS to "look like him" and I used the arguement that if we had a daughter and she was small chested would we pay for a boob job for her so she looked like me? This didn't work. It is the most ironic thing that DH asked his mother her opinion about the issue and she informed my DH that his father is INTACT!!! So the issue of our DS looking like DH went out the window....but MIL informed DH that she wished FIL was circed because she suffered from reccurent yeast infections 'because' of FIL foreskin :
Well when I heard that theory I quickly reassured DH that my mother had also suffered from chronic yeast infections and my father is circ'd, so that ruined that arguement also.

SO after reading all the information and deciding it was not medically necessary and that "looking like" daddy wasn't a valid reason to circ, we decided the the only thing standing in our way was the social "issues". The locker-room society we supposedly live in. When we went to the appointment for the circ we were still not 100% convinced it needed to be done. Once we got to the pedi's office he asked if we were in 100% agreement on doing the circ and we both just looked at each other. The pedi, sensing our vulnerability jumped at the chance to inform us on the rates of circ in our area (which is supposedly very high) and how "different" our child would be. He also delved into a great "history lesson" on the supposed reasons behind circ...dating all the way back to Mesopotamia, and how the soldiers who were sent to war struggled with their foreskins getting infected and getting sand under them, and having to have them circ'd later in life. Now, to this day, I kick my self (HARD) for not asking what this all had to do with our childs foreskin, but in my hormone induced baby blues and new mommy jitters, and with DH's leaning towards circ to begin with we let that man cut our childs body. : After all we didn't want our child to suffer emotional damage from being teased for not being "like others". He was 2 weeks old.

Skip ahead one week, DS's poor penis seemed to be healing well. My mother was in for a visit. On the 2nd day she was here we found a rash with some "pimples" in is on his groin area. I took him to the Pedi the next day, since my mom who worked in the medical field for 20+ years said it looked like Staph. When I went into the Pedi's office and told him it looked like staph he laughed and said "no, thats just normal baby skin 'stuff'". I believed him, and took our baby home. The rash seemed to come and go, over the next few days but when 2 pimples formed; one directly where the foreskin was snipped during circ and one on the right side of DS's scrotum I took him back to the Pedi and told him I was concerned that it had to do with the circ. The pedi laughed again and said, "no, I still think its just baby skin 'stuff', but here is some cream to put on any other sores that come up". Those 2 sores went away fairly quickly with the cream, and only one more sore popped up, I quickly applied the cream and it went away...

Skip ahead another week. My mother left to go back home, and DS is slowly becoming grumpier and grumpier. It got so bad that I had to call DH to come home from work before I lost my mind. That was a friday, he left work early came home and took DS from me so I could nap. He also stayed with DS on the couch so I could sleep in the bed for the first time in a week. That Saturday morning at around 4am I woke up to my son wailing, like someone was beating him. I rushed out to the living room to find my DH trying to comfort him, we fed him, we rocked and shushed, fed him again, did everythign we knew to do and nothing seemed to help.

We finally took him to the emergency room after his Pedi's office said they wouldn't be able to see him until after 'lunch'. : At the emergency room we were told we had a colicky child and that we would just have to "ride it out". We went home, after they gave DS a dose of Ibuprofen. DS seemed to feel some better for a couple hours. That night we all slept on the couch DH and I taking turns holding DS while he cried and whimpered. At 11:30 I took DS to feed him, and when I touched his body he felt like he was on fire. He would hardly eat. I took his temp and it was 101. We rushed back to te ER, the whole drive DS was groaning except for when he stopped..once for a couple seconds, I was terrified he had died. I wiggled him in his car seat and he started groaning again. When we got back to the ER they told us that he was having trouble breathing, and hooked him up to
Oxygen. They also did a spinal tap, and a cat scan, tons of blood work, every test you could possibly think of to find out what was wrong. They started him on a couple different antibiotics to help fight any possible infection. Needless to say DH and I were terrified. We were admitted to the Childrens hospital early the next morning 9/11/2005.

After being admitted to CH DS took a turn for the worse. They did another spinal tap to rule out menengitis, it wasn't. They also put a cpap on DS as his breathing was deteriorating rapidly. He was weak and his loud and terrified cries had turned to slow whimpers. They took DS to test for intestinal blockages, and when they started the test DS took yet another turn for the worse and stopped breathing. DH and I were sent to get something to eat (going on 48 hours with no food), so we had no idea until we got back that they had intubated DS and 'chemically paralyzed' him so that he couldn't pull the breathing tube out. A machine was breathing for my precious son. On his cheek was one lone tear, his first tear ever. I lost it emotionally, the nurses had to calm me down. I just kept saying "he's crying, look!" For a couple days we were at a stand still as to what was wrong with him, not relating the 'staph like sores' at all since the Pedi had said thats wasn't what it was....so we just continued DS on several IV antibiotics and supported his weak little body as best we could.

To somewhat quickly finish off a much longer story, I will say that we found out my DS had MRSA in an abscess in his abdomen, that was most likely caused by his circ. We had to sign consents to have a surgeon open up his belly button and core out any 'puss' and infection because the infection was so large (covered about 1/3 of the surface area of his abdomen) his body probably would have never healed on its own otherwise. After the surgery DS stabalized and a couple days later was on the road to recovering. And after 12 long days in the hospital we brough him home, again, victorious and exhausted.

Needless to say I regret everyday having my son circ'd. I honestly believe with all my heart that if we hadn't done it he never would have gotten the staph infection and been on antibiotics for a month, and almost had to have a blood transfusion, and almost died . My DH is not 100% convinced that it was the circ, but has promised that with any future children we will not circ. because I now feel so strongly about it. I just hate that we had to go through so much to realize that it was never meant to cut a poor innocent child. : It was NOT our body to decide what to do with, and we almost lost our child and our child almost lost his future because we were too chicken to stand up for what we KNEW was the right thing to do!

Please, anyone who reads this and is contemplating circing their child, please please don't. It's not worth the possible pain and suffering and you will always kick yourself if something horrible happens to you like it did to us.

I thank God everyday that my son is alive and pray that someday DS will forgive me for not doing what I believed to be the 'best' for him, which would have been not to do anything at all.
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#214 of 739 Old 08-26-2006, 07:01 PM
 
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oh.my.gosh jeannie - how terrifying!!! i have goosebumps.
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#215 of 739 Old 08-27-2006, 01:25 AM
 
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3 boys '06,'08,&'11
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#216 of 739 Old 08-27-2006, 05:34 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by flipfish
but I know I need to forgive myself and move on. It's just so hard when it's your child.

Love of love and hugs to you.
I agree it is so hard when we are supposed to be the ones looking out for their best interest, not causing them pain. :

But! Like you I am working on forgiving myself and moving on, just enough to not forget but for it not to be something I beat myself up for.
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#217 of 739 Old 08-30-2006, 06:05 PM
 
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Dh and I deeply regret the circumcision of our 1st son, the books I read made it sound as though it was no big deal. I had never seen an intact penis before. I asked my pediatrician about it when I was pregnant and he said we'd talk about it later. I just didn't do the research that I should have, I was completely ignorant about it all. I had one more chance to stop it when I was signed the consent forms, I got a terrible feeling that it was wrong, but I let pushed that feeling away and let them take my son....I wish I could go back.

Christy wash.gif Mom to DS 4/21/04 reading.gif DD 9/20/09  dust.gif DD 7/2/11jog.gif

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#218 of 739 Old 08-30-2006, 11:24 PM
 
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I know this doesnt quite follow with everyone else, but I regret my friend circing her twins. Why? Because I was her egg donor, those boys are genetically mine, and I was too stupid to think about the circumcision issue before hand. In fact, in didnt occur to me until she was around 24 weeks along and she said "Eriq (my ds) is circ'd, right?" And I said "NO!!" She asked why and I said because I thought it was cruel and discusting. After that I gave her all the info I could, I tried so hard to change her mine. Then when they were born 10 weeks early I thought, maybe seeing them for awhile as nature intended will help. Nope! As soon as they came home, at what would have been 38 weeks gestation, she had them cut. I didnt talk to her for a month and when I finally did, I bawled. To this day she doesnt understand why I have such an issue with it, even though she admits their personalities changed afterwards and they became extremely fussy. I am sure she plans on doing it to her next one.
I know this isnt the same, but I still feel sooo guilty over it. I am trying my hardest to remain friends with her and be there for her boys. I am going to encourage them to file suit when they reach 18. That OB is cut happy and deserves it. I will tell them myself what was lost to them as they get older and tell them about restoration. And most importantly, I have made sure that any future babies made with my eggs, or that I carry, will not be cut. I am a surrogate too and I had a discussion with the parents (I already had a baby for them and again, it had never occured to me at the time but thankfully she was a she!) and they both agreed that it will not be done. I know her dh was circ'd at 8 so I think he was pretty open to not doing it.
I am so glad that all of the parents out there who regret having their boys circumcised have a place to share their stories and get some support. I also know that your stories have made an impact on other parents.

Cari-mama to Eriq, Lile, Paikea, Kaidyn, and Mieke is here!! 2/9/10
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#219 of 739 Old 08-31-2006, 05:28 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by paganmommy
I have two boys, one intact, the other circumcised. My oldest and I have had many discussions about why he was circumcised and why i did not have his younger brother circumcised. Those questions were so difficult for me to answer. He is now 11 years old and able to understand things better. His anger has subsided and he directs it more towards the pediatrician and the medical establishment. But, ultimately I have to accept my responsibility for allowing it to happen to him.

I knew in my heart that having him circumcised was wrong. I felt it so strongly, yet I let them take my son away from me and take him to a table where he was strapped down and then literally tortured. That pain is torture and they are not anesthesized at all. Even still, the process of them strapping them down and cutting off part of their body is so traumatic. I still cry when I think what I let them do. It has been 11 years and I still cannot accept it. Please if you read this, believe me when I say, it isn't necessary for you to have to feel what I am feeling and even more important, it isn't necessary for your son to have to go through that. There is no medical reason to do it. There is no valid reason at all. Listen to what all these people have said and then listen to your heart!!!! You will know what to do.
Only have one child at present time, 4 3/4 month old ds, but I can totally relate to how you feel. I knew it in my gut that I shouldn't have ny ds circ'd. In fact, the first time they took him to have it done, I felt a rush of panic and it took all the willpower I had not to rub after them to get my ds back. That day, however, they weren't able to do the circ because ds hadn't urinated by that time so they had to reschedule. Oh, how I wish I'd just said to forget it, that I'd changed my mind. It's been nothing but problems since.

Shortly after the procedure, my ds had to go back to the nursery because he was bleeding. When I heard he was bleeding, I began to cry. At the time, my dh and the nurse told me it was just a tiny bit of blood but my dh (stupidly, I think) later told me it had been bleeding a lot. As if that wasn't enough to make me feel like a horrible mother for having this procedure done to my son, now he's suffering from adhesion problems. When I think back to how cute and perfect (and natural) his little penis was before I allowed the doctors to mutilate it, I could just cry.

I know now that if dh and I ever have another son, he will not be circ'd. My dh, my mil, the doctors, my own mother, they can all complain and criticize me all they like. But I will NOT allow a second child to suffer the way my ds has with this horrible procedure. I only wish I'd done the research BEFOREHAND and not allowed myself to be so stupidly persuaded by everyone into having this done.
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#220 of 739 Old 09-05-2006, 11:19 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JandDSquared
The pedi, sensing our vulnerability jumped at the chance to inform us on the rates of circ in our area (which is supposedly very high) and how "different" our child would be. .
I'm sorry to hear about your situation but pleased to know that your future sons will be left intact.

I quoted part of your message that made me pause. I don't know where in northern Cal you are, but on the peninsula, there is a reasonable trend towards leaving boys intact. I hope your ped wasn't feeding you a line, but then again I suppose statistics can vary with community.

Marnie
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#221 of 739 Old 09-05-2006, 03:10 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MarnieMax
I'm sorry to hear about your situation but pleased to know that your future sons will be left intact.

I quoted part of your message that made me pause. I don't know where in northern Cal you are, but on the peninsula, there is a reasonable trend towards leaving boys intact. I hope your ped wasn't feeding you a line, but then again I suppose statistics can vary with community.

Marnie
Marnie, I do absolutely believe he fed us "a line". But honestly that 'line' should have never factored into our decision. Next time (if there is one) we will do better.
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#222 of 739 Old 09-08-2006, 05:26 PM
 
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I just wanted to say I have read all the stories and it breaks my heart. I blame society in large part for the decsions you made. I myself chose not to circ and your stories make me happy I made that choice and its woman like you that are posting your experiences that will open the eyes of other mothers...PROPS TO YOU...thanks for sharing!

carlie~33 DP~40 mom to Cadan Riley 7/22/04, Kailin Naiya 8/05/06,, Ronen Blake12/13/08 , Rosen Blythe 7/26/10.
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#223 of 739 Old 09-17-2006, 02:02 PM
 
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I've been looking for a thread like this. I have a hard time coming to the CAC forum because of the choice I made to circ my two sons. It's hard to hear and see a lot of what is said here. It's hard to think of myself as someone who mutilated my sons. It's hard to hear that I'm taking things away from them and being a horrible mom from that choice. I know that's not the intent of the forum, but that's what registers to me when I read some of it.

My first son was circ'd and I never second guessed that decision. My 2nd son was different. I had questioned whether or not to do it. I didn't want to do it, but there was so much pressure to have it done. He'd be mad that I didn't let it happen when he was a baby. He would have to have it done when he was older and that would be worse. I can't have one circ'd and the other not. And the list goes on. I struggled with the decision, but let it be done. And I remember from the second they wheeled him out of the room, I wanted to take it back, I was alone, hormonal, and just wanted to run and grab him and "save him from the evil circ'ers"... I didn't. I just layed there crying. Even when they brought him back, I never felt so detached from him. I loved him, but I hated what I'd done to him. From that second on, it was not just a little procedure that he'd forget about. It was a huge mistake that I'd never forget.

But, now, there's no question that my future boys (we're aiming for 6 kids) won't be circ'd. I'll explain to my sons about restoration when they're older and if there is any monetary cost, I'm going to cover it.
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#224 of 739 Old 09-17-2006, 04:26 PM
 
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"Sadly, later I learned that DH feels that women (because one told him so) think an Intact penis is "ugly." Apparently, many American women feel this way. I never did! So, subconsciously, he did not want HIS son to feel rejected by some (moronic) woman. If some twit were to reject him because of THAT, he's better off IMO. Again, there is misinformation... because American women (i heard an interview with the Go-Gos once - who slept with everyone!) who have slept with both Americans and European, PREFER the feeling of a foreskin during sex. It feels better to both during lovemaking. Hmmm, no wonder so many woman "aren't in the mood" and there are so many ads aimed at American men about "enhancing" this or that. "


I'm going to be totally blunt here but I totally agree with you.. I'm just the opposite of the american norm in that I find circ'ed men unattractive even though I have never been with an "intact" man.. To me it's just not natural.. I have to wonder if men would find women attractive if we had one breast removed because hey, we [I]normally[I] will only have one babe at a time so why do we need two breasts right?
The whole thing drives me batty.. I HATE that I had my son circ'ed. My husband wanted it and I didn't. They took my sweet baby and did this awful thing to him in the room right next to mine and we heard the whole thing! I still bawl when I think about it and my realtionship with my husband has never been the same because I feel like my opinion doesn't matter.
Blessings,
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#225 of 739 Old 09-25-2006, 11:58 AM
 
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Moms, Tell your story here, too. This is a permanent archive collecting circumcision stories including those from regretful mothers. http://www.genitalintegrity.net/blouch/
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#226 of 739 Old 10-31-2006, 02:06 PM
 
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I just wanted to share this quote by Maya Angelou:

Quote:
I don't know if I continue, even today, always liking myself. But what I learned to do many years ago was to forgive myself. It is very important for every human being to forgive herself or himself because if you live, you will make mistakes- it is inevitable. But once you do and you see the mistake, then you forgive yourself and say, 'well, if I'd known better I'd have done better,' that's all. So you say to people who you think you may have injured, 'I'm sorry,' and then you say to yourself, 'I'm sorry.' If we all hold on to the mistake, we can't see our own glory in the mirror because we have the mistake between our faces and the mirror; we can't see what we're capable of being. You can ask forgiveness of others, but in the end the real forgiveness is in one's own self.

Blessed mama of four
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#227 of 739 Old 11-06-2006, 06:37 AM
 
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Please browse around the rest of this forum. However, we strongly and completely believe there is no reason for routine circumcision, so please dont be angry when no one posts with thoughts to support it. We want to help you! If you have more specific questions after looking around, post a new thread!
and welcome!
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#228 of 739 Old 11-06-2006, 07:10 AM
 
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You should repost this question in a seperate thread clittle760 in the CAC forum so that people can address it there. As for finding links on why it should be done there are not any. We do NOT host debates on the merits of circ since there are none but we will be more than happy to give you info and links supporting that circ should be stopped.

 
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#229 of 739 Old 11-11-2006, 09:37 PM
 
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i circ'd my first, without thinking, and they had me sign the paperwork after just having a c-sec. it was horrid. i heard him cry and scream. i was very uninformed. when i became pregnant the second time, i researched alot about everything, and as i was reading, and looking at what they put the boy in to circ him, and imagined him there, i started bawling. i still feel bad, and i didn't circ the second.
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#230 of 739 Old 11-12-2006, 12:39 AM
 
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This might be the most powerful anti-circ thread I have read. It made me cry and see how I could easily have made a mistake had a friend not talked to me about not circumcising while I was pregnant with my first son. I know what you all mean about wanting to protect your newborn sons and hold them close, not hand them off for a surgery that feels wrong in your heart. You are doing the right thing by speaking honestly about it and hopefully swaying your sons toward not having it done to their own sons someday. You can still break the cycle.

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#231 of 739 Old 11-17-2006, 11:42 AM
 
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I have removed a post in support of circumcision and all subsequent posts which quoted or commented on it. I will return to send further explaintions via Private Message. Right now we have an appointment that I need to get to!

Cheers

"To err is human, to forgive, canine." - Unknown
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#232 of 739 Old 11-22-2006, 05:38 PM
 
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Add me to the list of regretful mamas. I made the mistake of telling DH that it was up to him, even though I felt in my heart that it was wrong, and he said he wanted DS circumcised. What I really regret is he told me, after our birthing class video on circumcision, that it almost changed his mind. Why, oh why didn't I take that golden opportunity to do the research and have a meaningful discussion about it? I don't beat myself up about it, but I do feel regret when I think back, and wish I hadn't been such a doormat in the decision process.

If we have any more sons, I'll know better (thanks to MDC!), and not cave in just because DH wants it.
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#233 of 739 Old 11-22-2006, 05:43 PM
 
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Count me in.
I knew to look into it- I hould have. I stayed naive on purose I think.
When at the hospital( mistake #1) I asked the nurse how they did the "procedure"- She told me I didn't want to know.
I can remember looking at his intact penis for the last time. I got him back and it was a bloody mound.
It looks very scarred to me. Probally not as scarred as his soul.....
I don't know. It is hard to even thik of him in pain at that time and how he felt. he no doubt was.
He recently broke his femur and it was awful. I hate to think of him at 2 days old..... with someone strappnig him down and cutting at him while I sat innocently in the other room.

Sick.

A friend of mine's husband went into watch her son- he thought it was cool.

If we have more children our future son's will be left intact.
It is a senseless crime.

I wanted to add.....
As far as wanting my son to feel secure in his manhood and look like everyone else.
I pride myself and try to make my son feel secure in himself- NOT BY THE WAY HE LOOKS.... NOT ON ANY PART OF HIS BODY! I really hate it when mothers say this... I don't want him to be laughed at. As if they want their boys out there sharing themselves with anyone. Anyone who would laugh at an intact penis is not worth their time or effort anyway.

It would be an excellent weeding tool - no pun intended- as far as future partners are concerned- If having a intact penis bothers you- You DON"T want to meet my MOM!

But unfortunately- I chose wrong.... and I see it every day.

Do any of your son's have scarring? It seems very scarred to me.
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#234 of 739 Old 12-16-2006, 02:46 PM
 
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Yes, me too...all of the above.

Please visit my myspace (see signature) for more on the horror of circumcision.

I, like the first person to reply on this thread; held that pen and signed the consent form while every cell in my body screamed and pleaded with me to stop it. I held my brand new baby and shut my defenses up by reasoning it away with "the threat of infection" and "if you don't, he'll stand out".

I was stupid. Don't let them do this to your baby....PLEASE!


PS: Girls who think an intact penis is weird/gross; WILL get over it. Believe me, I speak from experience!

WARNING: The comments and opinions expressed above do not necessarily reflect those of the community in which I reside; or those of the internet parenting network.
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#235 of 739 Old 12-20-2006, 06:15 PM
 
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Man, this is tough to read. Ds#1 was circed and I felt that it was right to leave the decision up to dh. He felt strongly about it, I guess because he was circed. But the whole time in the hospital as they did it and after I could not think about it without crying. He would scream whenever we changed his diaper. Just the thought of him tied down on that table still makes me want to cry WHY OH WHY did I not do any research on it???? Why is it considered to be normal??? Luckily I did get another opportunity to make the right decision when we had ds#2, but how guilty I feel when I see my boys together knowing I could have saved ds#1 from that experience!! :
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#236 of 739 Old 12-28-2006, 01:50 AM
 
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I circumcized my oldest because of my ignorance. I still have nightmares. My story is like so many other's...we had no real reason and finally decided to do it because dh is circ'd.

The procedure was horrible. I decided IN THE ROOM that I no longer wanted to go through with it and let myself be talked into it because we were "already there and had clearly already made the decision." We were left there for over an hour (the doc was at a birth) and like an idiot and a sheeo I stayed.

The doc came in, didn't look at either of us, sat down and inserted instruments into my son's penis as he screamed. He peeled the skin back with clamps and cut. Apparently though, he wasn't satisfied because he did it again. When I asked what he was doing through my tears he told me that he hadn't gotten enough. He had to cut more of his penis off. I let him, because he had already started peeling.

I have never been more haunted about any decision that I have made. I still have nightmares, though not as often. IT damaged our relationship beyond what you can possibly imagine. I am disgusted with myself and did not make the mistake again.

My youngest is intact and gorgeous. I wish I could say the same for his brother.
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#237 of 739 Old 12-28-2006, 02:18 AM
 
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firefaery...I don't read a whole lot of these since I posted my own; it's too painful. I happened to catch yours though.

I don't have any words for you except that I understand; my oldest looks so scarred beside his little brother. It's so painful to think about I usually do a good job blocking out the thoughts; but it comes back at the most unexpected moments.

s to you... and all the mamas (and papas) here...
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#238 of 739 Old 01-05-2007, 02:12 PM
 
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I had my sweet baby boy circumcised, and I have felt guilty about it every day since then. It has been a great source of grief, pain, and tears and I am disgusted with myself.

When i was pregnant, I told DH that I didn't want our baby circumcised. DH said, "Don't I have a say? He's my son, too." We were never able to "make up" our minds. I asked my pro-circ parents and siblings what they thought. Of my 3 sisters, only one had child, and she said she circ'd him because "It was better." Better than what? Well, she was a medical transcriptionist for a Urology clinic, and too many men had to have a procedure because the were uncirc'd.

My dad said he was glad he was circ'd because it reminded him to be "circ'd of heart" like it says in the Bible.

The stupid pediatrician told us that a man's foreskin "came off" during his wedding night. We wouldn't want that to happen with our son, would we? (Then again, this was the same man that asked me if I wanted a dead baby or a live baby when I decided not to have him vaccinated.)

I didn't subject my son to this awful procedure until he was 3 weeks old. I wish I had listened to my gut that told me not to do it. I wish I hadn't listened to my own mother that hesitated when I asked her if she would think of my son, her grandchild, differently if he wasn't circumcised.

I remember the day so vividly in my mind. It is a nightmare for me. I can't help but to revisit it daily. I remember my son screaming in pain in the car afterwards. I remember feeling like I had committed a grievous sin as soon as he was placed on the table.

I hope that our next baby is a boy so I can "redeem" myself.

I wish I would have just said "no." I wish I would have kept my decision to keep him the way he was--perfect.

 
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#239 of 739 Old 01-05-2007, 07:41 PM
 
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I never come to this forum, because I am filled with shame for having circ'd my son. I didn't know much about it, and everything I read was mainstream stuff that basically said it was better and more hygienic to circ. I did some reading -- though now I know I didn't read the right things -- and everything I read said that boys had a higher risk of UTI's, had discharge problems, etc. I believed them, even though my heart was screaming not to do this thing to my boy.

Ds was circ'd at eight days old. And when they returned him to me, I sobbed all the way home. I cried so hard, dh had to pull the car over so I could be sick. Like some of the other people whose stories I've read, I thought my real choice was between cutting and using the plastibell. When I saw that hard plastic ring on my small, beautiful boy, I cried and cried, sick in my heart for what I had allowed to happen. Dh was so sad for me, even though he is circ'd. He vowed at that moment that if we ever had another son, we would leave him intact. We went on to have another baby, a girl, so my only son is circ'd.

Ds is now almost 10 years old, and I still think about my decision and wish with all my heart I could go back to the moment that I handed him over and say "NO". I don't think ds yet realizes that he is circ'd, especially since nearly everyone I know IRL has circ'd. When he learns, I hope he will forgive me. I hope he will not judge us too harshly and that he will know that I loved his body the way it was the moment he was born.
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#240 of 739 Old 01-11-2007, 04:52 PM
 
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I thought I had posted to this thread a long while ago, but apparently never did.

We had our son circumcized in the hospital at 2 days old. I completely regret that we had it done. On paper, it seems pretty harmless - he didn't have any medical complications from it, it healed very rapidly and without event, he did not withdraw, cry unconsolably, seem dazed or otherwise out of sorts as a newborn, nursed like a champ, and he has not displayed any emotional, behavioral, or other medical complications from it since; nonetheless, I regret it with every fiber of my being, and if we would have had another son, he would have been intact. As it stands, we are done having children, and our second child is a girl.

I didn't find MDC until our son was over a year old. I wish I would have found it earlier. I wish I would have researched circumcision as much as I researched breastfeeding, then I would have known. I wish our OB would have just said the words "medically unnecessary", just once.

I regret that I carelessly and thoughtlessly removed a piece of my son - and while he may not ever have any problems as a result of it, he'll also never really be "whole". I plan when he is older to talk to him about it, apologize to him when he is really able to understand, and be sure that he and his sister both know all of the facts and will not circumcize any sons they may have.

So yes, I very much regret circumcising my son.

Heather, WAHM to DS (01/04)DD (06/06). Wed to DH(09/97)
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