Feel bad for my nephew but feel bad for my sister.... - Page 3 - Mothering Forums
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#61 of 68 Old 10-16-2009, 01:32 PM
 
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I don't think the nurses handled it well but under the circumstances I could see myself saying something similar. I do think it was rude and they could have been handled better but it sounds like it was a knee jerk reaction and I know I've put my foot in my mouth several times especially when I'm caught off guard about something.

I lay a lot of the blame on the father of this baby. Why on earth did he have his 1 week post partum wife take the baby in? If he truly wanted it done he should have been the one to take the baby. He must have known she was having some PPD issues and then pushing her to take the baby herself for the surgery sounds like such a coward to me.

mama to six ('98, '00, '04, '04, '06, '08)
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#62 of 68 Old 10-16-2009, 02:15 PM
 
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Reminds me of bad lactivism.

Crunchy con wife with 1 DS and 1 lil DD born in Jan. I love breastfeeding, CDing and Friday night family bed.
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#63 of 68 Old 10-16-2009, 05:04 PM
 
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Originally Posted by BugMacGee View Post
I'm curious if this would provoke such outrage if these people weren't nurses.

These weren't THIS baby's nurses. It wasn't part of their job to do teaching with someone who wasn't indeed their patient. If they are anything like most of the nurses I know, they barely have time to get teaching done on their own patients. Providing adequate intact info takes time. Time these people probably didn't have.

Again, I'm not condoning what they said. But I think expecting them to provide education is totally unrealistic given the circumstances.

Providing intact info is a tricky thing to do without hurting someone. If this mom had been educated by these nurses, don't you think she would still feel even worse having her baby circ'ed? Education isn't the magic circ panacea. It doesn't necessarily work the way we all want it to. Truly.


This whole issue is painful.
So true.



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Originally Posted by laurelg View Post
I think "The Case Against Circumcision" is the wrong place to condemn nurses who spoke out strongly against circumcision. Maybe they could have been more tactful, maybe they hurt your sister's feelings, but the core of what they did was right, and I wouldn't expect to find sympathy for the opposing view here.
It is a great place to have this discussion and hash out both sides of it.

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Originally Posted by Lkg4dmcrc View Post
I am generally confused. If you gave them all of the circ info before hand and then they still decided to go back a week later and do it, why do you believe that they would be swayed by nurses in a hospital to not do it just because they were polite about it? They already had the information and they chose to do it, right?

Doctors and nurses speak poorly to patients. I witness it on a daily basis.
Yes, my mother often commented about this as a nurse. She was very disturbed by the lack of respect patients are often shown. Just because it happens, doesn't mean it's right.

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I have to ask why any physician would proceed with a circumcision with the mother obviously not in a proper mental state to consent to the surgery?
True!!

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Originally Posted by billikengirl View Post
I don't see how it was the nurses' job to make it any easier on her to circ that baby.
The fact of the matter is it also wasn't the nurses job to make a rude comment and walk away. If she was such a strong intactivist, then I would expect her to take the time to educate. I'm not sure about the rest of you, but snarky one liners tend to get under my skin.

 
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#64 of 68 Old 10-16-2009, 07:54 PM
 
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Queen of the Meadow said (and other have said in not so many words)
If she was such a strong intactivist, then I would expect her to take the time to educate.



This is a point I addressed as a nurse. In most circumstances we don't have the time to educate lost strangers. IT TAKES TIME!!! And who's to say she wouldn't be offended by the education provided?

ON most days, nurses are stressed out, working hard, trying to fit in all our work for the patients we are assigned to take care of. MOst places keep staffing tight to keep within budget. They don't pay us to educate perfect strangers on their clock! NOT realistic to expect these on-the-clock nurses to take the time to educate. Not realistic!

Someone should have educated these parents. I believe the OP tried that. IME, trying to educate about circ'ing immediately before the procedure is not well received anyway.
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#65 of 68 Old 10-16-2009, 08:36 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BugMacGee View Post
Queen of the Meadow said (and other have said in not so many words)
If she was such a strong intactivist, then I would expect her to take the time to educate.



This is a point I addressed as a nurse. In most circumstances we don't have the time to educate lost strangers. IT TAKES TIME!!! And who's to say she wouldn't be offended by the education provided?

ON most days, nurses are stressed out, working hard, trying to fit in all our work for the patients we are assigned to take care of. MOst places keep staffing tight to keep within budget. They don't pay us to educate perfect strangers on their clock! NOT realistic to expect these on-the-clock nurses to take the time to educate. Not realistic!

Someone should have educated these parents. I believe the OP tried that. IME, trying to educate about circ'ing immediately before the procedure is not well received anyway.
I guess I see being offended by someone offering information in a polite/neutral way as being a lot different from someone being *hurt* by someones rude off hand one-liner comment.

I'm anti-circ. However my oldest was circ'd before I became informed. I can't take that back and I live with that, but if I had been 1 week PP, depressed, confused, exhausted and everything else that occurs after birthing a child and someone threw that at my face...those are the kind of things that send mamas overboard. The nurses should have handled it much more professionally.

-:¦:-♥Sarah Lynne♥-:¦:-Wife to Michael and Mommy to Austin(5), Steven(3), Tristyn(1), and Laurelyn (6/3/2011)

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#66 of 68 Old 10-16-2009, 09:34 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BugMacGee View Post
Queen of the Meadow said (and other have said in not so many words)
If she was such a strong intactivist, then I would expect her to take the time to educate.



This is a point I addressed as a nurse. In most circumstances we don't have the time to educate lost strangers. IT TAKES TIME!!! And who's to say she wouldn't be offended by the education provided?

ON most days, nurses are stressed out, working hard, trying to fit in all our work for the patients we are assigned to take care of. MOst places keep staffing tight to keep within budget. They don't pay us to educate perfect strangers on their clock! NOT realistic to expect these on-the-clock nurses to take the time to educate. Not realistic!

Someone should have educated these parents. I believe the OP tried that. IME, trying to educate about circ'ing immediately before the procedure is not well received anyway.
Yes, my mother was a nurse. She used to talk about working 12 hours nonstop with no time to eat. She was always exhausted after work. So I do understand that. My point being, if she didn't have time to help this mama out, she shouldn't have said anything at all.

 
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#67 of 68 Old 10-17-2009, 06:49 PM
 
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I'm torn. I do see that what they said was offensive, but at the same time, if she was taking her infant daughter to have her outer labia removed (for hygeine purposes, reduce UTIs and make her genitals more attractive for future sexual partners) would anyone blink at the nurses' response?
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#68 of 68 Old 10-17-2009, 09:53 PM
 
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I'm an RN in Canada. That was rude and unprofessional and horrific. It shuts down the path of communication and shows no empathy whatsoever for the circumstances that brought her there or the emotions that she is currently experiencing. People are often at their most vulnerable in a hospital setting. She deserved a much more compassionate method of activism.
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